Download or read book Little Book of Crap Excuses written by Michael Powell and published by . This book was released on 2003-09 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From "the wrong sort of snow" to "the dog ate it" via "I fell on the vacuum" how anyone ever thought that they would get away with these patheticxcuses is a complete mystery. This is a collection of pointlessrevarication, walloping white lies and appalling apologise.
Download or read book The Little Book of Big Excuses written by Addie Johnson and published by Conari Press. This book was released on 2007-05-01 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn't do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake." In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons--grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" is where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name--again. Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, but"--the art of articulating just why you can't do most anything you don't want to do--in any language, this is the book for you. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsystem Failure--Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, IMing, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make fail-safe excuses for a myriad of don't wannas and didn't do its. "All's Fair in Love" contains excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in. That's what Julia Roberts did. * Hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations, plus "The Excuse Clinic: How to Make Lame Excuses Walk and Okay Excuses Sing." * Life is serious business, people, so pay attention. Let Addie help you off the hook.
Download or read book The Little Book of Big Excuses written by Addie Johnson and published by Mango Media. This book was released on 2007-05-01 with total page 121 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This indispensable reference guide offers hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations—from missed birthdays to unpaid parking tickets and more! Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's definitely easier with hundreds of excuses for things you did, didn't do, or simply never want to hear about again. The Little Book of Big Excuses is your guide to saving face, avoiding blame, and getting out of almost any unpleasant situation. In “Fake, Don't Flake" you’ll learn how to successfully show up late—or not at all—to any number of places for any number of reasons. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" tells you just the right words to say if you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name (again). Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. And you’ll always have an excuse for not calling, IMing, or emailing with the bonus chapter: “Delivery Subsystem Failure—Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!”.
Download or read book The Little Book of Excuses written by Kaz Cooke and published by Penguin Global. This book was released on 2003 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you're in need of a day off, an alibi, a massive governmental cover-up, a reason not to see your nanna when you've got a love bite, or you simply want an excuse to behave badly, then this is the book for you! Forget the hairy old 'dog ate my homework' - you need a bunch of all-new all-purpose excuses- I am currently the object of a large land, air and sea search The batteries in my magic wand wore out My pants are on fire
Download or read book The Little Book of Crap written by Neil Manson and published by Macmillan Pub Limited. This book was released on 2000 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is the second part of a parody of new-age "self-helpism." This guide features such wonderful advice as "If you feel tired and listless, write down all the capital cities you can think of. You may still be tired, but you won't be listless."
Download or read book 501 Excuses for a Bad Golf Shot written by Justin J Exner and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2016-05-01 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You can blame your job... You can blame the course... You can blame mother nature... Or you can blame your equipment... But Never, Ever, BLAME YOURSELF!
Download or read book The Little Book of Excuses written by Jasmine Birtles and published by Boxtree. This book was released on 2001 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ever been caught with your trousers down (literally or metaphorically) and needed a good excuse? Look no further, A Little Book of Excuses will have excuses to cover every situation: 'I can't come in to work today because I'm stalking my ex-boss who fired me for not showing up for work.' 'I've used up all my sick days... so I'm calling in dead.' 'She meant nothing to me.... other than a night of wild passion that i will remember to the end of my days and against which i will measure all other women.'
Download or read book The Little Guide to Not Being Dumb written by Elise Loyacano Perl and published by . This book was released on 2015-11-07 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I never thought a book about how to learn more effectively would be so enjoyable. My son (14) and I were laughing as I read it out loud. Now he is upstairs with his copy." (Trudy Castillo Leal, entrepreneur).You want to learn, but you have the attention span of a weevil. Thankfully, Elise has years of experience helping people just like you.This book is short and sweet on purpose, and in the course a few "chapter-ettes," you will cover how you can- Increase your chances of even starting a study session at all (Turning a Mountain into a Molehill)- Improve your chances of finishing what you start (Getting Crap Done)- Promote better studying without even studying a all (You Snooze, You Don't Lose)- Learn HOW to ask for help, instead of wasting everyone's time- And laugh along the way
Download or read book It s Not My Fault written by Joshua Shifrin and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-04-03 with total page 999 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In It's Not My Fault, author Joshua Shifrin helps tennis players make sense of their most monumental losses on the court. The next time a player goes down in defeat, he or she can always explain the woeful loss with "My opponent was a pusher . . . I can't play against pushers." Or after a bad shot, tennis gurus might try to get out of dodge by uttering, "There was a leaf on the court and I couldn't concentrate." Shifrin has crafted 150 funny--but all-too-real--excuses for pros and amateurs alike. Examples include: My opponent's grunting is distracting. My strings are too tight. I have tennis elbow. These tennis balls are too slow. Any many more! Whether you want to motivate your friends or family who have just started playing or eradicate embarrassing mistakes in your own game, It's Not My Fault is a must-read. Complete with laugh-out-loud cartoons, this book makes for the perfect gift.
Download or read book Complete Crap written by Michael Powell and published by . This book was released on 2002-10-01 with total page 127 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Following on from "The Little Book of Crap Advice" and "The Little Book ofrap Excuses", this is a collection of more ludicrous or ridiculousecommendations.
Download or read book Everyday Cat Excuses written by and published by Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.. This book was released on 2008 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to the cat excuse universe! It's a place of fur balls, dead things turned into feline playthings, hours spent catnapping--and stubborn, naughty little creatures who do what they want, never what they're asked. Cats are full of excuses, so any human who happens to be owned by one should use this delightful comic collection to prepare for its sly explanations and justifications. A charmingly line-drawn, highly humorous, and personality-filled kitty presents all the reasons why "I can't." "I'm shedding, I'm salivating, I'm kneading" (but not needing) "you, my ears are rotating," Or she can't be bothered listening because she's having an intense catnip experience. Cat lovers will recognize every funny scenario...and their pets will want to sneak a peek to discover new ideas.
Download or read book 101 Shooting Excuses written by Bryn Parry and published by Quiller. This book was released on 2005-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Oops, missed again! Now you have an excuse, or 101 to be exact... This little book is the answer for any shot that misses from time to time and an explanation is needed, The bird swerved, I'm stiff from too much shooting, I'm missing intentionally to make them fly higher, these are just a few of the examples that could just save you! Bryn's wonderful cartoons illustrate his excuses perfectly and make this book the essential gift for every shooter. At 6 inches square it's also the perfect size to keep in the pocket. So, if you miss, whip it out and select the perfect phrase...it could even be Sorry, I was reading 101 Shooting Excuses and didn't see that.
Download or read book The Little Book of Bad Excuses written by Software Program Managers Network and published by . This book was released on 1998 with total page 37 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Little Book of Crap written by Random House and published by . This book was released on 2000-06-01 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Book of Excuses written by Gyles Daubeney Brandreth and published by Sphere. This book was released on 1984 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The British National Bibliography written by Arthur James Wells and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 2744 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Little Book of Crap Advice written by Michael Powell and published by Michael O'Mara Books. This book was released on 2003-09-01 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some people say that you should take all the advice you can get. Others advocate accepting no counsel from anyone. The solution? Take all the advice you can get and then ignore it! And when the advice that is given is as dreadful as the gems contained in this book, it is not difficult to understand why. 'Mike, can't you paint on the walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?' Michelangelo's mother 'Yes, straw and sticks are excellent building materials.' Mrs Pig 'You'll have much more leg room in the back, Mr President.' Helpful Advisor
