Download or read book The Three Martini Playdate written by Christie Mellor and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-05-11 with total page 143 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Lays out a plan for parents to enjoy themselves and not be slaves to their children while still offering their kids a warm, nurturing environment.” —Publishers Weekly Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heard but things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor’s hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today’s parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really need—and enjoy. Includes chapters on: Screaming: Is It Necessary? Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early? Child Labor: Not Just for the Third World! “Children’s Music”: Why? . . . and much, much more “Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face . . . The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (‘a disease’) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it—with lots of alcohol.” —Chicago Sun-Times

Download or read book The Three Martini Family Vacation written by Christie Mellor and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-05-11 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author of The Three-Martini Playdate “delivers another clever, tongue-in-cheek self-help . . . Laughs and lessons for the beleaguered mom and dad” (Publishers Weekly). Chill the glasses! Christie Mellor is back with more irreverent and useful advice about life with children. Wickedly funny essays offer helpful advice on harnessing the energy of toddlers-gone-wild: on vacation, out to dinner, even just when grandmother stops by for a visit. Parents will relearn the art of traveling, socializing, and eating out like adults . . . sometimes with well-behaved children in tow. In dozens of short, kicky chapters like Cocktail Parties: Actually for Grown-ups! and The Theme Park Vacation: A Last Resort, Christie Mellor gently reminds parents that family vacations can truly be fun. Praise for The Three-Martini Playdate “Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face . . . The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (‘a disease’) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it—with lots of alcohol.” —Chicago Sun-Times

Download or read book Fun Without Dick and Jane written by Christie Mellor and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-05-23 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christie Mellor describes the new-found freedoms to be had when your adult children move out.

Download or read book You Look Fine Really written by Christie Mellor and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-04-06 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christie Mellor, the bestselling author of The Three-Martini Playdate and Raised by Wolves, says You Look Fine, Really—and offers a droll, get-real guide to embracing and enjoying the adventure of mid-life. Complete with grooming shortcuts, tips on being your own personal trainer, and perfect party recipes, You Look Fine, Really provides witty and wise advice on how to add a sense of play and celebration to the everyday.

Download or read book When Did I Get Like This written by Amy Wilson and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-03-19 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Amy Wilson’s hilarious, tender memoir…had me laughing out loud with recognition. She captures the small moments of motherhood in a way that is both funny and thought-provoking.” —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project From the creator and star of the one-woman off-Broadway show Mother Load, comes When Did I Get Like This?, a screamingly funny take on being a modern woman, wife, and mother told with “a level of hilarity that even non-moms can appreciate” (Time Out). Amy Wilson’s poignant and provocative, utterly outrageous look at “the Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be” has already earned an appreciative response from Three-Martini Playdate author Christie Mellor, who calls it, “As entertaining as it is reassuring.”

Download or read book Sleep Is for the Weak written by Rita Arens and published by Chicago Review Press. This book was released on 2008-09-01 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Each month, more than half a million readers turn to the 25 mommyblogs featured in this collection for advice and a sense of camaraderie, and this anthology brings together their best and brightest essays, ranging in style from snort-Diet-Coke-out-the-nose funny to poignant and bittersweet. Written to be read during the mind-bogglingly short breaks parents get during their busy days, these pieces will help moms find solace in a wide range of viewpoints and issues not often discussed in mainstream magazines and other parenting books. From dealing with rage to negotiating sleeping arrangements to the frustration and joy of parenting a special needs child, this is the perfect read for the hip but harried mother that says "you are still you."

Download or read book Pregnant Pause written by Carrie Friedman and published by Kensington Publishing Corp.. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pre-partum Depression Rule #1: Never Wear an Empire-Waisted Dress to a Baby Shower If you've been asked the question "When are you going to have a baby?" so many times that you feel as though your uterus is starring in a new reality TV show, this hilarious, insightful book is for you. Carrie Friedman shares her daily struggles with what she calls her "pre-partum depression"—from baby lust to panic, and everything in between. Fending off the "dreaded question" from everyone, including her yoga teacher, and navigating the minefield of toddler birthday parties, as well as creating her own faux baby registry under an assumed name, Carrie Friedman captures the process of deciding to have a baby with humor and smarts. If you're looking for refuge from prying questions, pet substitution, and the call of your biological clock, this book is a hilarious diversion." --Adrianne Frost, I Hate Other People's Kids "An absolute delight!" --Jamie Cat Callan, French Women Don't Sleep Alone

Download or read book M O M Mom Operating Manual written by Doreen Cronin and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-09-13 with total page 58 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Mom: An Owner's Manual, you'll find everything you ever wanted to know about how to raise a perfect Mom.

Download or read book My First Dictionary written by Ross Horsley and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-02-01 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics—from apple to zebra—but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bed? What makes Mommy so bitter? Where does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon? And why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusion? My First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as: A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens. Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born. A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies. A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern. Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!

Download or read book Home Game An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood written by Michael Lewis and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2010-06-07 with total page 190 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The New York Times bestseller: “Hilarious. No mushy tribute to the joys of fatherhood, Lewis’ book addresses the good, the bad, and the merely baffling about having kids.”—Boston Globe When Michael Lewis became a father, he decided to keep a written record of what actually happened immediately after the birth of each of his three children. This book is that record. But it is also something else: maybe the funniest, most unsparing account of ordinary daily household life ever recorded, from the point of view of the man inside. The remarkable thing about this story isn’t that Lewis is so unusual. It’s that he is so typical. The only wonder is that his wife has allowed him to publish it.

Download or read book Confessions of the Other Mother written by Harlyn Aizley and published by Beacon Press. This book was released on 2006-05-01 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of the few books to explore lesbian parenting, these “hilarious, heart-wrenching, painfully honest tales of mommyhood” celebrate the ups and downs of being an LGBTQIA+ parent in the 21st century (Joey Solloway, creator of Transparent). After author Harlyn Aizley gave birth to her daughter, she watched in unanticipated horror as her partner scooped up the baby and said, “I'm your new mommy!” While they both had worked to find the perfect sperm donor, Aizley had spent nine months carrying the baby and hours in labor, so how could her partner claim to be their child's mommy? Many diapers later, Aizley began to appreciate the complexity of her partner’s new role as the other mother. Together, they searched for stories about families like their own, in which a woman has chosen to forgo her own birth experience so that she might support her partner in hers. They found very few. Now, in Confessions of the Other Mother, Aizley has put together an exciting collection of personal stories by women like her partner who are creating new parenting roles, redefining motherhood, and reshaping our view of two-parent families. Contributors include Hillary Goodridge, who was one of the lead plaintiffs in the case for same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, stand-up comedian Judy Gold, and psychologist and author Suzanne M. Johnson. This candid peek into a previously unexamined side of lesbian parenting is full of stories that are sometimes humorous, sometimes moving, but at all times celebratory. Each parenting tale sheds light on the many facets of motherhood, offering gay and straight readers alike a deeper understanding of what it means to love and parent in the twenty-first century.

Download or read book Love You More written by Jennifer Grant and published by Thomas Nelson Inc. This book was released on 2011 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Grant shares the deeply personal, often humorous story of adopting a 15-month-old girl from Guatemala when she was already the mother of three very young children. Her family's journey is captured in stories that will encourage not only adoptive families but those who are curious about adoption or whose lives have been indirectly touched by it.

Download or read book Of Thee I Zing written by Laura Ingraham and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-07-12 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: While Laura Ingraham was walking through a Northern Virginia shopping mall one Saturday afternoon, it all became clear to her. Everywhere she turned, she saw signs of the impending disaster: zombie teens texting each other across a café table; a man having his eyebrows threaded at a kiosk; a fiftyish woman shoe-horned into a tube top and skinny jeans; and a storefront ad featuring a Victoria’s Secret model spilling out of her push-up bra and into the faces of young passersby. Ingraham wondered to herself, “Is this it? Is this what our forefathers fought for? What my parents struggled for? I wonder if Victoria’s Secret is still having that two-for-one sale?” A menacing force surrounds us. We see it, we feel it, we know it. The country we love is in grave peril. While politicians and “experts” prattle on about the debt crisis at home, and terrorism abroad, a more insidious homegrown threat is emerging. It endangers our future and undermines our present. The uncomfortable truth is: We have become our own worst enemy. The culture we have created is now turning on us. We’re on the verge of drowning in our ignorance, arrogance, gluttony . . . can you believe there are only three shots of vanilla in a Caramel Macchiato?!? Now in an act of patriotic intervention the most-listened-to woman in talk radio casts her satirical eye upon all that ails American society. In this sharp-witted, comic romp, Laura Ingraham takes you on a guided tour through ten levels of our cultural hell. You know we’re in trouble when . . . • Airplane seats shrink—just as the passengers expand. • Celebrity baby names go from the peculiar (Apple, Stetson, and Daisy Boo) to the pathetic (Bamboo, Blanket, and Bronx). • People meticulously tend their virtual crops on Farmville, while their children eat takeout. • “Breaking News” usually means it happened yesterday. • The weddings last longer than the marriages. • Facebook has become a verb and reading has become an ancient art form. Of Thee I Zing is cultural commentary too funny to ignore, igniting a national conversation long past due. America, your cultural recovery begins here.

Download or read book Women and Recovery written by Kitty Harris and published by Turner Publishing Company. This book was released on 2012-05-07 with total page 206 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A breakthrough recovery plan for women who struggle with alcoholism, based on a groundbreaking new model Tens of millions of women today drink to excess and their numbers are growing. Now Dr. Kitty Harris, an experienced counselor and therapist who is herself a recovering alcoholic with more than thirty years of sobriety, presents a new model for recovery that focuses on treating the pain in women's lives that can lead to a vicious cycle of addiction?not on the shame that fuels it. Combining her personal and professional experience, Dr. Harris offers tools that can help women who want to recover as well as friends or family members who are seeking help for a loved one. Focuses on dealing with the pain associated with alcoholism in women, not reinforcing the shame Discusses the different types of female drinking habits, including binge drinking and drunkorexia Takes a plain-language, jargon-free approach that is easy to understand and shares the stories of recovering women of all ages and from all walks of life Is written by Dr. Kitty Harris, Director of The Center for the Study of Addiction and Recovery at Texas Tech University, with twenty-five years of private clinical experience working with adults and adolescents

Download or read book The Good Mother Myth written by Avital Norman Nathman and published by Seal Press. This book was released on 2013-12-31 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In an era of mommy blogs, Pinterest, and Facebook, The Good Mother Myth dismantles the social media–fed notion of what it means to be a “good mother.” This collection of essays takes a realistic look at motherhood and provides a platform for real voices and raw stories, each adding to the narrative of motherhood we don’t tend to see in the headlines or on the news. From tales of mind-bending, panic-inducing overwhelm to a reflection on using weed instead of wine to deal with the terrible twos, the honesty of the essays creates a community of mothers who refuse to feel like they’re in competition with others, or with the notion of the ideal mom—they’re just trying to find a way to make it work. With a foreword by Christy Turlington Burns and a contributor list that includes Jessica Valenti, Sharon Lerner, Soraya Chemaly, Amber Dusick, and many more, this remarkable collection seeks to debunk the myth and offer honest perspectives on what it means to be a mother.

Download or read book You Look Fine Really written by Christie Mellor and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-04-06 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christie Mellor, the bestselling author of The Three-Martini Playdate and Raised by Wolves, says You Look Fine, Really—and offers a droll, get-real guide to embracing and enjoying the adventure of mid-life. Complete with grooming shortcuts, tips on being your own personal trainer, and perfect party recipes, You Look Fine, Really provides witty and wise advice on how to add a sense of play and celebration to the everyday.

Download or read book Afterbirth written by Dani Klein Modisett and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2010-04-27 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Afterbirth is about what parenting is really like: full of inappropriate impulses, unbelievable frustrations, and idiotic situations. It's about how life for some parents changes for the worse after their kids are born. Or so it feels. It's about how not every threeyear- old is charming and delightful and about how sometimes when your kid is having a tantrum, you have to stifle the impulse to round-house him. And Afterbirth is funny—the participants are some of the best comic writers and performers today, turning their attention very close to home and sparing no one, particularly themselves. The thirty-five pieces include: • Caroline Aaron on what it feels like when the kid moves out of the house ("The New Parenting Paradigm") • Christie Mellor on why it's dangerous to tell people what you really think about being a mommy ("Yahooey") • Joan Rater on parenting the unexpected ("Attachment Adoption") • Neil Pollack on unforeseeable and unreasonable parental rage ("The Tennis Pro") • Matt Weiner on trying not to parent violently like his father did ("Go Easy on the Old Man")