Download or read book Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy written by Bradley Sands and published by . This book was released on 2010-09 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bizarro humorist Bradley Sands returns with one of the strangest, most hilarious collections of the year.In Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, the pope gets sued, a headless man falls in love with a bowl of rice, and architects dismantle the earth. A war breaks out over greeting cards. A suicidal amputee tries to kill himself. William S. Burroughs becomes an amateur archaeologist and Tao Lin drinks an ape-flavored smoothie.Between a breakfast of clocks, a lunch date with Adolf Hitler, and breakdancing in outer space, anything is possible in the work of Bradley Sands. Just never wear a bear costume to an orgy.
Download or read book Heavy Feather Review 1 1 written by and published by Heavy Feather Review LLC. This book was released on with total page 123 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Summer of the Vigilantes written by Christopher Poole and published by Author House. This book was released on 2006-12-29 with total page 492 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In an age when crime runs rampant through the urban jungle of New York City, and the ruthless subsist by preying upon the weak, a clandestine organization of enforcers digs in its heels, and fights back. Led by the obsessed Gary Parker, the multitalented Vigilantes operate in secrecy, taking no prisoners in their never-ending crusade against the powers of corruption, injustice, and evil. From a game of cat-and mouse with the most powerful gangster on the eastern seaboard, to a blood-soaked showdown with the Chinese mafia, to a narcotics war with a rogue Mexican general, the Vigilantes are taking justice to street level. Therell be no talk of Miranda rights this evening. If the Vigilantes give you your right to remain silent, it will be by way of cutting your throat.
Download or read book Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You written by Bradley Sands and published by . This book was released on 2011-02 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What the crap is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing on the cover of Rico Slade's book? This is Rico Slade's goddamn book. Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero. Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery. Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can rip out a throat with his bare hands. But Rico Slade's arch nemesis, Baron Mayhem, is threatening to drop a bomb on the Earth that will kill every human being except himself while leaving the world's currency intact. To save the planet, Rico Slade must journey across Hollywood to find Baron Mayhem. Unfortunately, Rico Slade's crime fighting style involves ripping out the throat of anyone who gets in his way, including grandmothers and Midwestern tourists. As Rico Slade leaves Hollywood in ruins, the only person who can stop him from destroying the city is his Jewish psychologist, Harold Schwartzman. Until he does, Rico Slade will kill as many people as it takes to thwart Baron Mayhem's evil scheme. Rico Slade will fucking kill everyone. RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.
Download or read book Welcome On Board written by Vinamra Longani and published by Om Books International. This book was released on 2017-02-02 with total page 236 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is saucy, raunchy, free-spirited, revealing, heartfelt, cheeky and downright entertaining, and it isn’t the latest Bollywood potboiler! It’s the journey of an international flight attendant over the last 12 years, and not an ordinary one at that. This hilarious collection of experiences swings between a vision of goodness and your worst nightmares, depending on the circumstances, the mood of the flight attendant, the cabin you are flying in and if you are cute or not. Be it dealing with difficult people on the plane or doomed relationships on the ground, quickies in the air or infidelity off the plane, here’s an uncensored insight into his colourful life. So fasten your seat belts and follow the instructions since we are ready for take-off!
Download or read book Ruined written by Simone Elkeles and published by Llewellyn Worldwide. This book was released on 2011-12-08 with total page 230 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One girl + two guys = three hot summers. It all adds up to some steamy romance—and a few complications. Can Amy Nelson-Barak juggle the gorgeous guys in her life without ruining everything? From Simone Elkeles, the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Rules of Attraction and Perfect Chemistry, comes this e-book trilogy edition of her popular books How to Ruin a Summer Vacation (a YALSA 2007 Teens’ Top Ten selection), How to Ruin My Teenage Life, and How to Ruin Your Boyfriend’s Reputation. “A great read—alike for fans of Meg Cabot, Melissa Kantor, and Sarah Dessen.”—VOYA on How to Ruin Your Boyfriend’s Reputation “The choice for teens who seek realistic YA fiction.”—School Library Journal on How to Ruin My Teenage Life Also, don’t miss Simone Elkeles’s critically acclaimed Leaving Paradise and New York Times bestselling Return to Paradise!
Download or read book Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face written by Bradley Sands and published by . This book was released on 2011-10-01 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A tour-de-force. A harrowing comic masterpiece. A timely novel that transcends the times. An instant American classic. This is what critics are not saying about Bradley Sands' latest magnum opus, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel. A novel in three parts, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel is the story of one boy detective, the worst ninja in the world, and the great American fast food wars. It is a novel of loss, destruction, and-incredibly-genuine hope. Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel contains three classic Bradley Sands novellas: Frankie Nougat and the Missing Heart, Cheesequake Smash-Up, and Apocalypse Ninja.
Download or read book Liquid Status written by Bradley Sands and published by . This book was released on 2017-02-18 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When grandmother dies and the front door disappears, one family will have to explore the inner dimensions of their house, themselves, and each other in order to find a way out. Bradley Sands' novelette reimagines the idea that a house becomes a home, and instead asks what happens when a family becomes a house. Liquid Status is family drama reimagined as a surreal, existential nightmare.
Download or read book The Envy of Topshelf written by Kevin Mulligan and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2006-11 with total page 362 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to Fizzle, an isolated, backward place teeming with crisis. It is a nation like none other on Earth, and to survive in it, citizens have developed a state of mind equally unmatched. With an antic group of revolutionaries on a quest for truth (more or less), the termination of a great warrior caste, and a pair of exiled lovers, twinned in ambition (one has discovered the urge to write a beautiful, sublime poem, and the other desires to avoid hearing it), Fizzle is a state of constant flux. Add to the mix a 500-year-old murder mystery, an offended comet aiming for vengeance, and an overseeing deity who delights in human bewilderment, and you have the key ingredients of author Kevin Mulligan's visionary novel, The Envy of Topshelf. A 1,200-year-old monarchy has recently collapsed, and the result is two decades of civil chaos, toggling between the comic and the tragic. Just when the political leadership thinks it has finally achieved stability, havoc cries out for second helpings. The Envy of Topshelf is literary farce with an epic scope, Swiftian outlandishness infused with slapstick urgency.
Download or read book After Anderson written by Jamila Mikhail and published by Keep Your Good Heart. This book was released on 2019-04-15 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The day that Anderson brought a gun to school was the day Aly's life changed forever. Her fellow classmates were murdered right before her eyes as her former best friend embarked on the deadliest high school massacre since Columbine. Now, nearly two years later, Aly sets foot in the halls that nearly cost her her life for the first time since the shooting, ready to face her demons. Unanswered questions linger, anxiety abounds and flashbacks are frequent as Aly struggles to understand how Anderson could've mercilessly gunned down her friends and classmates and how she's not only going to forgive him, but herself as well, for the role she might have played in influencing his actions. Was she to blame? Did she have blood on her hands? Could she have done something more? Could anyone have done anything more? Aly sets out to find the elusive answers to just that as she also attempts to rebuild the life that was shattered by gunfire that otherwise quiet Friday morning nearly two years prior. Jamila Mikhail pens a story of tragedy in After Anderson. Two years have passed since Aly Feldman's best friend, Anderson Massey, entered their high school and began shooting. “Twenty people paid with their lives for everyone’s collective failure.” Aly remains tormented by the massacre. She feels great remorse for all those who lost their lives, especially Anderson. Although she survived, Aly lost her life that day as well. Two years of therapy hadn’t really helped and, consumed with memories, her recovery is unrealized. The pain comes and goes, but never leaves; it has become part of her. Yet, it is time to somehow move forward, time to return to Belden High School, the place where her life changed forever. On her return to school, Aly discovers friendship and moral support from the Petrov twins. Her new found friends become instrumental in bridging the gap between Aly’s old life and a new one. Is it really possible to have a life “After Anderson?” “After you survive Anderson Massey your life doesn’t just pick up where it left off.” After Anderson by Jamila Mikhail wrenches your heart, challenges your soul, tests your personal morality and beliefs. I totally agree with the author’s statement in her commentary, if it “doesn’t bother you there’s something wrong.” We all need to learn to listen to the spoken and unspoken, and really pay attention to those around us. There were many aspects I admired, even more that I appreciated, and a few I could have done without. The story is multi-cultural, a bit political (honestly, my patriotism was battered a bit), yet very insightful. There is no denying, “The universe, with all of its flaws and disasters, was so beautifully and intricately crafted.” This line continues to echo in my mind. In saying that, how does one enjoy a book about a mass shooting? You don’t, but you do hope to gain an understanding of the cause of such a tragedy. Jamila Mikhail reveals the trauma that lingers long after such a violent act. After Anderson is the story of a survivor. Written in the first person, the heroine’s thoughts and emotions are explicitly described, thus felt. Page by page, her character grows and evolves beyond the tragedy. She befriends an unlikely duo, the twins who open her eyes, change her perspective and encourage her to move forward. One of the key elements within the narrative are the letters between Aly and Anderson; they create raw realness and depth of soul. The words exchanged in those passages are my favorite part of the story. As the story concludes, the denouement reveals that life truly goes on. There is life “After Anderson.” —Reviewed by Cheryl E. Rodriguez for Readers' Favorite
Download or read book It Came from Below the Belt written by Bradley Sands and published by . This book was released on 2006-02 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: IT CAME FROM BELOW THE BELT, BY BRADLEY SANDS Meet Grover Goldstein: Twenty-First Century rascal, trainee provocateur, boy next door who won't stop snickering at you from behind the lawn gnome. Swallowed by a giraffe and regurgitated oodles of years into the future, Grover must satisfy his urge to go home-even if it means going back to high school and helping his severed, and sentient, penis win the presidential election. Come along to Assumption High as Grover tries to answer the age-old question, What if I had forgotten then what I don't know now? Absurdism at its finest, and part of the new and expanding Bizarro genre, this highly-anticipated first novel is by the editor of the zine Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens.
Download or read book Dodgeball High written by Bradley Sands and published by . This book was released on 2014-10-01 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On the dodgeball court, no one can hear you scream. Justin Lucas just started at a new high school, but there are no classes in really important stuff like English literature, mathematics, science, or history. Instead, the entire curriculum is dedicated to playing Dodgeball. Justin is...perplexed. Where are the pencils and textbooks? Why are there so many explosives strapped to the balls? And what's up with the barbed wire? Does the school administration really think it's appropriate to wrap the balls in barbed wire? Dodgeball High does not seem like a safe environment for a young man. But his classmates don't care. They kinda remind him of junior Mafia Dons, little serial killers, and pint-sized dictators from third world countries. And they are all really good at Dodgeball (and the shedding of their classmates' blood), while Justin totally sucks. And to make matters worse, Justin's parents are like...total dicks. They won't let him go to a different school because they think he's full of crap about this "Dodgeball nonsense." Not to mention that Dodie Manson, the greatest player in the school, has a gigantic crush on Justin. And whoever Dodie wants, Dodie gets, and her BFs have a habit of experiencing intense pleasure prior to their "mysterious" decapitations. Does Justin have what it takes to survive and make it to the top of his class before graduation? Or will he be eliminated permanently? Read "Dodgeball High" to find out, but watch out for the ball that's coming at your head!
Download or read book Amazing Stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster written by Cameron Pierce and published by . This book was released on 2011-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On the seventh day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster said, "Read me, for I am good." In Amazing Stories, the Flying Spaghetti Monster goes on trial to earn his godhood among a council of deities that includes Jehovah, the Buddha, Ganesh, Cthulhu, and Charlie Sheen. He is interviewed for an exclusive episode of the celebrity talk show In the Monster's Studio to discuss his relationship with Godzilla and other famous monsters. He rears his head at an archeological dig in a desert wasteland and dines with a horde of food demons in Hell. He rescues pirates, authors, and prisoners from the cold hand of death while banishing children to suffering and starvation. He is a just god, but only if you compliment his vodka sauce. Like an all-spaghetti evening of Adult Swim, Amazing Stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster will show you the many realms of His Noodly Appendage. Learn of those who worship him and the lives he touches in distant, mysterious ways. Enjoy with Italian food and a side of Darwinism.
Download or read book Crystal Mortem and the Library of Eternal Knowledge written by Bradlee Love and published by Dorrance Publishing. This book was released on 2021-05-13 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Crystal Mortem and the Library of Eternal Knowledge By: Bradlee Love After a massacre on a faraway world, Guardians Dash and Petey are sent to find a lost friend. But all is not as it seems when the dreaded Duxin Empire frames them for the crime. Now they must embark on a journey to prove their innocence and discover an ancient crystal that houses the entire knowledge of the universe.
Download or read book Deadly Ties written by Jaycee Clark and published by Beyond The Page. This book was released on 2011-08-16 with total page 300 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Deadly Ties is just an all-around amazing story. The suspense will have readers at the edge of their seats!” —Fallen Angel Reviews: Five Angels: Recommended Read Some bonds are love . . . Taylor Reese is done with men—especially egotistical ones—no matter how charming they may be. The only exception to her “no men” rule is her eight-year-old adopted son, Ryan, who is wonderfully adjusted considering the environment his parents forced him to endure. Both are starting over in the Washington, D.C., area and aren’t looking for anything more than peace and quiet. Thanks to Gavin Kinncaid, that peace and quiet is nothing more then a fleeting dream. Some ties can never be broken . . . Dr. Gavin Kinncaid, one of the most successful doctors in his field and well aware of it, knows women—or so he thinks, until he meets Taylor Reese and realizes he doesn’t know anything about the opposite sex. Taylor is nothing like any woman he’s ever met. More than that, she’s the only woman he’s ever wanted to strangle. But when fate throws them together on a rain-swept deserted road, passion soon twists their feelings into more than antagonism. First desire, then friendship, and finally love. And some bonds are deadly . . . As the three of them grow closer, learning to trust and building bonds none of them ever thought they’d have, a menace approaches. A menace that will destroy each of them and the bonds they've worked so hard to forge: Ryan's mother has escaped from prison, and she has only one plan—to rip this happy family apart and reclaim what she considers hers, no matter the cost.
Download or read book Chasing Alpha written by Philip Augar and published by Bodley Head Childrens. This book was released on 2009 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "* Chasing Alpha is the definitive insider s history of Britain s financial services sector, from the early days of New Labour to the present day. At the heart of the action is the revival of the City s institutions in the mid-nineties. Augar uses his peerless connections with the people and firms that made it happen to give a compelling narrative of how the City s golden generation turned London round. Then, as so often happens in finance, the City got carried away with its own success, boasting of a new risk-free economic paradigm that would make the world a richer place. Northern Rock gave the lie to this claim. Far from heralding the eclipse of finance capital, Augar will show how the City stands poised to emerge from the credit crunch stronger than ever. As New Labour heads towards electoral meltdown, the industry it did so much to nurture will embrace the opportunities afforded by David Cameron s even more business-friendly Conservatives. The guiding principle of th"
Download or read book A Ruin of Roses written by K. F. Breene and published by . This book was released on 2021-10-10 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I could save him, but he would ruin me. The beast. The creature who stalks the forbidden wood. The dragon prince.He has suffered a fate worse than death. We all have. A curse put upon us by the mad king.We are a kingdom locked in time. Shifters unable to feel our animals. Stuck here by a deal between the late king and a demon who seeks our destruction. The only one keeping this kingdom alive is Nyfain, the golden prince to a stolen throne. The last dragon shifter. He's our hope. He's my nightmare. When he catches me trespassing in the forbidden wood, he doesn't punish me with death, as he's entitled. He takes me, instead. Forces me back to the castle as his prisoner. Seeks to use me. Apparently I can save him. I can save the whole forgotten kingdom, locked away by the demon king's power. But it would mean taming the monster beneath his skin. It would mean giving myself to him. It would mean my ruin._ _ _ _ _ _This is a dark and sexy Beauty and the Beast retelling featuring a strong heroine, a dangerous anti-hero, and a humorous supporting cast.
