Download or read book Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2011-02-21 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Polly is a real estate solicitor. She is also losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress -- the dry cleaner's. And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on -- and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out. From one of the funniest voices in comic fiction today comes a hilarious tale of pigs and parallel worlds.
Download or read book Heroes Zombies and Sausages A Sampler written by Hachette Assorted Authors and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2011-01-15 with total page 275 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Included in this compilation of samples from our upcoming titles for Winter/Spring 2011 is a wide array of Science Fiction and Fantasy titles for every reader. All types of mythical beasties and villains abound-including vampire assassins stalking the canals of Venice in Jon Courtenay Grimwood's The Fallen Blade, zombie infestations everywhere in Jesse Petersen's Flip this Zombie, and, of course, a mysterious, if somewhat confused, pig in Tom Holt's hilarious Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages. Also, Gail Z. Martin returns to the world of The Summoner in a new series starting with The Sworn. Joe Abercrombie takes us down into the dirt and blood of a battlefield and shows us all the true face of heroism in The Heroes. And, finally, the urban fantasists are back with the new Matthew Swift book from Kate Griffin, The Neon Court, the next entry in Trent Jamieson's Death Works series with Managing Death, Sabina Kane's return in Green-Eyed Demon by Jaye Wells and, a special treat, the entire Dante Valentine series in one volume from Lilith Saintcrow!
Download or read book The Rise of the Iron Moon written by Stephen Hunt and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2012-01-03 with total page 484 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On the run after killing a guard in the Royal Breeding House, orphan Purity Drake learns from her mysterious rescuer that he is working against terrible monsters that would enslave the entire kingdom to punish its corrupt government.
Download or read book Grailblazers written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 234 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fifteen hundred years have passed and the Holy Grail is still missing, presumed ineffable. The knights have dumped the quest and now deliver pizzas, while the sinister financial services of the lost kingdom of Atlantis threatens the universe with fiscal Armageddon.
Download or read book The Proof House written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2009-11-05 with total page 466 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'One of the most entertaining fantasy debuts in recent years... incredibly vivid, refreshing, fun, thoughtful, absorbing.' - SFX 'Action-packed adventure ... An intriguing tale of magic, manipulation and revenge' - STARBURST COLOURS IN THE STEEL and THE BELLY OF THE BOW, the first two volumes of the Fencer Trilogy, introduced a remarkable new voice in fantasy fiction. THE PROOF HOUSE is the final volume in K.J. Parker's brilliant Fencer Trilogy. After years spent in the saps under the defences of the apparently impregnable city of Ap' Iscatoy, Bardas Loredan, sometime fencer-at-law and the betrayed defender of the famed Triple City, is suddenly a hero of the Empire. His reward is a boring administrative job in a backwater, watching armour tested to destruction in the Proof House. But the fall of Ap' Iscatoy has opened up unexpected possibilities for the expansion of the Empire into the land of the Plains people, and Bardas Loredan is the one man Temrai the Great, King of the Plains tribes, fears the most... The powerful and gripping final volume in The Fencer Trilogy, now reissued with a stunning new cover style. Books by K.J. Parker: Fencer Trilogy The Colours in the Steel The Belly of the Bow The Proof House Scavenger Trilogy Shadow Pattern Memory Engineer Trilogy Devices and Desires Evil for Evil The Escapement Saloninus Blue and Gold The Devil You Know Two of Swords The Two of Swords: Part 1 The Two of Swords: Part 2 The Two of Swords: Part 3 Novels The Company The Folding Knife The Hammer Sharps Savages Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City My Beautiful Life
Download or read book Snow White and the Seven Samurai written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 235 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Once upon a time, everything was fine. Humpty Dumpty sat on his wall, Jack and Jill went about their lawful business, the Big Bad Wolf did what big bad wolves do, and the wicked queen plotted murder most foul. But the humans hacked, cried havoc, shut down the wicked queen's system, and corrupted her database-and suddenly everything was not fine at all. But at least we know that they'll all live happily ever after. Don't we?
Download or read book You Don t Have to Be Evil to Work Here But it Helps written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 267 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A novel set in the magical offices of The Portable Door, now a majorly fantastical film starring Christoph Waltz, Sam Neill, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author Colin Hollinghead is a young man going nowhere fast. Working for his dad might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but starting at the bottom in the widget-making industry has, predictably, lost its appeal. And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things around – a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for all eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail – and the arch fiend definitely seems to be involved in some capacity. Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help. . . The J.W. Wells & Co. Series: The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Other titles from Tom Holt: Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side Holt Writing as K. J. Parker: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
Download or read book Falling Sideways written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 410 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the moment Homo Sapiens descended from the trees, possibly onto their heads, humanity has striven towards civilization. Fire. The Wheel. Running Away from furry things with more teeth than one might reasonably expect-all are testament to man's ultimate supremacy. It is a noble story and so, of course, complete and utter fiction. For one man has discovered the hideous truth: that humanity's ascent to civilization has been ruthlessly guided by a small gang of devious frogs. The man's name is David Perkins, and his theory is not, on the whole, widely admired, particularly not by the frogs themselves, who had invested a great deal of time and effort in keeping the whole thing quiet.
Download or read book Who s Afraid of Beowulf written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Digging up the remains of an ancient band of Vikings, archaeologist Hildy is astounded when they rise from the dead, bearing an appetite for seagulls, a twelve-thousand-year-old grudge, and a thirst for war.
Download or read book When It s A Jar written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2013-12-17 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Maurice has just killed a dragon with a bread knife. And had his destiny foretold. . . and had his true love spirited away. That's precisely the sort of stuff that'd bring out the latent heroism in anyone. Unfortunately, Maurice is pretty sure he hasn't got any latent heroism. Meanwhile, a man wakes up in a jar in a different kind of pickle (figuratively speaking). He can't get out, of course, but neither can he remember his name, or what gravity is, or what those things on the ends of his legs are called. . . and every time he starts working it all out, someone makes him forget again. Forget everything. Only one thing might help him. The answer to the most baffling question of all. . . When is a door not a door?
Download or read book Here Comes the Sun written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 215 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: All is not well with the universe -- cutbacks have taken their toll, and the sun is dirty and late, thanks to being 30 billion miles overdue on its next service. None of the committees can agree on anything, and extreme measures seem called for.
Download or read book The Two of Swords written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2015-11-10 with total page 52 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Why are we fighting this war? Because evil must be resisted, and sooner or later there comes a time when men of principle have to make a stand. Because war is good for business and it's better to die on our feet than live on our knees. Because they started it. But at this stage in the proceedings," he added, with a slightly lop-sided grin, "mostly from force of habit." A soldier with a gift for archery. A woman who kills without care. Two brothers, both unbeatable generals, now fighting for opposing armies. No-one in the vast and once glorious United Empire remains untouched by the rift between East and West, and the war has been fought for as long as anyone can remember. Some still survive who know how it was started, but no-one knows how it will end. This serial novel from the World Fantasy Award winning K. J. Parker is the story of a war on a grand scale, told through the eyes of its soldiers, politicians, victims and heroes. The first three parts of The Two of Swords will arrive in March 2014, with further instalments to be released monthly.
Download or read book Open Sesame written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There was something wrong! Just as the boiling water was about to be poured on his head and the man with the red book appeared and his life flashed before his eyes, Akram the Terrible, the most feared thief in Baghdad, knew this had happened before. Many times. And he was damned if he was going to let it happen again. Just because he was a character in a story didn't mean that it always had to end this way. Meanwhile, back in Southampton, it's a bit of a shock for Michelle when she puts on her Aunt Fatima's ring and the computer and the telephone start to bitch at her for past misdemeanors. But that's nothing compared to the story that her kitchen appliances have to tell her.
Download or read book Wish You Were Here written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 238 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It was a busy day on Lake Chicopee, where an eclectic bunch of sightseers and tourists had the strange local residents rubbing their hands with delight. Among them was a young man from England, who was there because he knew about the legend of the ghost of Okeewana and what she promised.
Download or read book Saevus Corax Captures the Castle written by K. J. Parker and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2023-11-21 with total page 293 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From one of the most original voices in fantasy comes a twisted tale of murder, betrayal, and battlefield salvage. For more from K. J. Parker, check out: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled CityHow to Rule an Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World The Two of SwordsThe Two of Swords: Volume OneThe Two of Swords Volume TwoThe Two of Swords: Volume Three The Fencer TrilogyColours in the SteelThe Belly of the BowThe Proof House The Scavenger TrilogyShadowPatternMemory Engineer TrilogyDevices and DesiresEvil for EvilThe Escapement The CompanyThe Folding KnifeThe HammerSharps
Download or read book Earth Air Fire and Custard written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2012-09-04 with total page 325 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A novel set in the magical offices of The Portable Door, now a majorly fantastical film starring Christoph Waltz, Sam Neill, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author J.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is, in fact, a deeply sinister organization with a mighty peculiar management team. Paul thought he was getting the hang of it – particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague, Sophie – but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Our love-struck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings. The J.W. Wells & Co. Series: The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Other titles from Tom Holt: Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side Holt Writing as K. J. Parker: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World
Download or read book An Orc on the Wild Side written by Tom Holt and published by Orbit. This book was released on 2019-09-10 with total page 400 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An Orc on the Wild Side is the latest comic masterpiece from one of the funniest writers in fantasy. Winter is coming, so why not get away from it all? Being the Dark Lord and Prince of Evil is not as much fun as it sounds, particularly if you are a basically decent person. King Mordak is just such a person. Technically he's more goblin than person, but the point is that he is really keen to be a lot less despicable than his predecessors. Not that the other goblins appreciate Mordak's attempts to redefine the role. Why should they when his new healthcare program seems designed to actually extend life expectancy, and his efforts to end a perfectly reasonable war with the dwarves appear to have become an obsession? With confidence in his leadership crumbling, what Mordak desperately needs is a distraction. Perhaps some of these humans moving to the Realm in search of great homes at an affordable price will be able to help? For more from Tom Holt, check out: The Management Style of the Supreme BeingsThe Good, The Bad, and the SmugThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeWhen It's a JarDoughnutLife, Liberty, and the Pursuit of SausagesBlonde Bombshell
