Download or read book I Just Want to Pee Alone written by and published by Throat_punch Books. This book was released on 2013-02-27 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Subtitle on cover: A collection of hilarious essays about motherhood.
Download or read book I Still Just Want to Pee Alone written by Jen Mann and published by Throat_punch Books. This book was released on 2015-03-12 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Motherhood is tough. You'll laugh or cry, so you might as well laugh. I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is the third book in the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series! Motherhood is STILL the toughest - and STILL the funniest - job you'll ever love. We know that raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful - TGIF means nothing to a mother! You said it before and you're saying it again, "I STILL just want to pee alone!" I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is ANOTHER collection of hilarious and heartwarming essays from 40 MORE of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat Bad Parenting Moments Let Me Start By Saying The Sh*tastrophy. Featuring essays like: It's Not Pee. It's You. Open Letter to My Daughter: My Mother was Right and You Should Think I Am, Too. And Then God Laughed Flames, Knives, and Fear: A Family Dinner Let's Piss Off the Babies
Download or read book People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2014-09-09 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
Download or read book 3 Day Potty Training written by Lora Jensen and published by Lora Jensen. This book was released on 2014-03-04 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 3 Day Potty Training is a fun and easy-to-follow guide for potty training even the most stubborn child just 3 days. Not just for pee and poop but for day and night too! Lora’s method is all about training the child to learn their own body signs. If the parent is having to do all the work, then the child isn’t truly trained, but with Lora’s method your child will learn when their body is telling them that they need to use the potty and they will communicate that need to you.
Download or read book I Just Want to Be Alone written by Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat and published by @throat_punch Books. This book was released on 2014-03 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The second volume in the best-selling I Just Want to Pee Alone series! Don't get us wrong, we love the men in our lives -- we do (most of the time). It's just that sometimes we would like them to go away. Not forever or anything like that. Just for an hour ... or a day ... or a weekend. We want some time to ourselves to read a good book or take a walk or do anything other than try to make a dent in the never ending mound of dirty clothes that keeps piling up on his side of the bed. We just want to be alone. All alone. Is that too much to ask? I Just Want to Be Alone is a collection of humorous essays from 37 of the most Super Cool Lady Writers you'll find on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Baby Sideburns, A.K. Turner, My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream, and Bad Parenting Moments.
Download or read book I Just Want to Be Perfect written by Jen Mann and published by Throat_punch Books. This book was released on 2016-05-26 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Just Want to Be Perfect is the fourth book in the bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. It brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect. The cult of perfection is a thing. As women, we are constantly inundated with "helpful" and/or "ah-may-zing" tips to improve our looks, please our men, raise the next Einstein (in a wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free environment), and feng shui the crap out of our homes. Whether it's the hot new diet that involves only eating what you can forage from the floor of your minivan, bleaching everything from your hair to your teeth to your butt hole, or clearing your clutter by mindfully thanking your ratty underwear for its long, dedicated service before you toss them, we've all tried something to be more perfect. We all try strive for perfection and balance in our lives, and most of us fail--spectacularly. These are those stories.
Download or read book Go Diaper Free written by Andrea Olson and published by . This book was released on 2021-02-17 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stop changing diapers?start potting your baby. Over half the world's children are potty trained by one year old, yet the average potty training age in the United States is currently three years old. This leaves parents wondering: What did people do before diapers? and How do I help my own baby out of diapers sooner?Elimination Communication, also known as EC, is the natural alternative to full-time diapers and conventional toilet training. Although human babies have been pottied from birth for all human history, we've modernized the technique to work in today's busy world.Go Diaper Free shows parents of 0-18 month babies, step-by-step, how to do EC with confidence, whether full time or part time, with diapers or without. "Diaper-free" doesn't mean a naked baby making a mess everywhere - it actually means free from dependence upon diapers. With this book, new parents can avoid years of messy diapers, potty training struggles, diaper rash, and unexplained fussiness. Also helpful for those considering EC, in the middle of a potty pause, or confused about how to begin.This 6th edition includes a new section on The Dream Pee, a full text and graphic revision, more photos of EC in action, and a complete list of further resources.MULTIMEDIA EDITION: includes the book and access to private video library, helpful downloads, additional troubleshooting, and our private online support group run by our Certified Coaches. For less than the cost of a case of diapers, you can learn EC hands-on, the way it's meant to be learned.
Download or read book Oh Crap Potty Training written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.
Download or read book I Just Want to Hang Out with You written by Jen Mann and published by . This book was released on 2020-08-25 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Parenting humor
Download or read book Will I Ever Pee Alone Again written by Emma Conway and published by Sphere. This book was released on 2022-10-27 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Uplifting poems on motherhood, from much-loved YouTuber and Instagrammer Brummy Mummy of 2 - the perfect gift for any moms in your life. There's a pyjama-clad woman from Brum, She's a mostly-happy (sometimes-snappy) mum, She's written some verse - it's a little perverse - and she hopes you find it side-splitting-ly fun! In her first book, happy-go-lucky YouTuber and Instagrammer Emma Conway explores motherhood in all its glory through the medium of hilarious and uplifting poetry. A mum to two young humans aged 7 and 9, she revisits the days of no sleep, potty training and toddler tantrums; dives deep into first days of school, sibling bickering and watching your babies grow into little people; and writes frankly about life after having kids, embracing the mum bod and giving zero sods. Written with huge amounts of warmth and love, and just the right amount of piss-takery, this is the reassuring hug-in-a-book you and all the mums in your life need.
Download or read book Verity written by Colleen Hoover and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2021-10-05 with total page 295 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whose truth is the lie? Stay up all night reading the sensational psychological thriller that has readers obsessed, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Too Late and It Ends With Us. #1 New York Times Bestseller · USA Today Bestseller · Globe and Mail Bestseller · Publishers Weekly Bestseller Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of the night her family was forever altered. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents could devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue loving her.
Download or read book But Did You Die written by Jen Mann and published by . This book was released on 2017-05-02 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: But Did You Die? is the fifth hilarious installment in the New York Time bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. But Did You Die? is a collection of terrible (but also kind of good) parenting advice from some of the funniest moms and dads on the 'net. And that one super helpful childless friend we all have who loves to tell us we're parenting wrong. Put your kids in front of the TV and let them eat junk while you read this book and laugh your tail off. We set the bar low so you can feel better about your parenting skills. You're welcome.
Download or read book The Other End of the Leash written by Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2009-02-19 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.
Download or read book Scary Mommy s Guide to Surviving the Holidays written by Jill Smokler and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-11-17 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From New York Times bestselling author and acclaimed “Scary Mommy” blogger Jill Smokler comes a funny and practical guide filled with essays, recipes, and tried-and-true tips sure to get any parent through the holiday season—without losing your marbles. Ah, the holidays: a time of joy, celebration, serenity, and peace… Unless, of course, you have whiny, screaming children demanding presents, attention, and a personal appearance by Santa or Judah the Maccabee. Then you’re screwed. But wait, there’s hope: Scary Mommy Guide to Surviving the Holidays to the rescue! Yes, in this handy holiday guide, you’ll find everything you need to survive the fall/winter rush of cheer in style, and without having a mental breakdown. From relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids’ table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas, this book is your ticket to peace of mind—and a laugh—during the busy, crazy holiday season!
Download or read book Midlife Bites written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2022-01-04 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A smart, personal, darkly funny examination of what it’s like to be a woman at the crossroads of a midlife crisis, from the New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat “I inhaled this book in one sitting; it’s a must-read for anyone over forty. This should become the gift all girlfriends give one another.”—Zibby Owens, host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books Jen Mann had what appeared to be the perfect life: a successful career as a bestselling author and award-winning blogger, a devoted husband, teenage kids who weren’t total jerks, and a badass minivan. So imagine her surprise when, at forty-seven years old, a midlife crisis kicked her straight in the ladybits. Midlife Bites offers Jen’s trademark wit and honesty when it comes to important conversations and observations about women in midlife. Here, readers will be able to come together and find anecdotes and practical ideas to help navigate through this major point in their lives. For women who may feel isolated or overlooked, this collection of original essays offers valuable insights, takeaways, and, most important, a productive way forward. Jen shares her own story as well as advice and wisdom from the online community she built, tackling everything that bites about midlife, where nothing is off-limits: raging hormones; sex (after forty); finding your purpose; learning to make new friends (yes, even as a grown-up); moving out of your comfort zone; having conversations that count, no more small talk; and how to deal with rogue chin hairs (and other nuisances). Jen Mann is leading the movement to create a new space where middle-aged women can share openly and honestly with one another. This no-BS collection of essays will help start the conversation and keep it going, because as women, we all have a right to be happy, fulfilled, and whole, no matter what stage of life.
Download or read book The Mad Wolf s Daughter written by Diane Magras and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2019-02-12 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ***A New York Times Editors’ Choice*** A Scottish medieval adventure about the youngest in a war-band who must free her family from a castle prison after knights attack her home--with all the excitement of Ranger's Apprentice and perfect for fans of heroines like Alanna from The Song of the Lioness series. One dark night, Drest's sheltered life on a remote Scottish headland is shattered when invading knights capture her family, but leave Drest behind. Her father, the Mad Wolf of the North, and her beloved brothers are a fearsome war-band, but now Drest is the only one who can save them. So she starts off on a wild rescue attempt, taking a wounded invader along as a hostage. Hunted by a bandit with a dark link to her family's past, aided by a witch whom she rescues from the stake, Drest travels through unwelcoming villages, desolate forests, and haunted towns. Every time she faces a challenge, her five brothers speak to her in her mind about courage and her role in the war-band. But on her journey, Drest learns that the war-band is legendary for terrorizing the land. If she frees them, they'll not hesitate to hurt the gentle knight who's become her friend. Drest thought that all she wanted was her family back; now she has to wonder what their freedom would really mean. Is she her father's daughter or is it time to become her own legend?
Download or read book How to Pee Potty Training for Girls written by Dr. Todd Spector and published by Henry Holt and Company (BYR). This book was released on 2016-04-05 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Out with the old and in with the new! Family physician Dr. Todd Spector presents a fresh and outrageously fun way to encourage little girls to give up their diapers. They can try it fresh-air style (in the backyard!), or use the potty with the help of a few props and plenty of imagination. Peeing in the potty is a lot more fun if you do it princess style, dance-party style, or gymnast style! Inspired by Dr. Spector's own experiences potty training his children, this combination of laugh-out-loud scenarios and useful advice turns the dreaded potty-training process into an exciting adventure for all.
