Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Baby written by Jacob Sager Weinstein and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Download or read book Top 10 Ways To Kill Your Kids written by Steve Hudgins and published by . This book was released on 2020-02-20 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Imagine the look on your kid's face when they see you reading this book! If you're really looking for the top 10 ways to kill your kids, stop what you're doing and seek psychiatric help immediately! For the rest of you, bring some humor to your day! This book is all about the reaction you get when someone sees it sitting on your bed stand or if they witness you actually reading it! Take it on a trip. Chill out with it in the living room. The creative possibilities of being seen with this book are endless! There is a funny little story within the book, but that's secondary to the response you'll get when people catch a glimpse of you with this! Great for a practical joke or some light hearted black humor, this prank book will surely bring a demented smile to the faces of those who share the same sick sense of humor as you. Also makes a great gag gift for a mom, dad, relatives, white elephant, all that kind of stuff! Sick fun for the whole family!
Download or read book How Not To Kill written by Nealy Brown; Sarah Tierney; Shannon Hunt and published by . This book was released on 2013-09-18 with total page 156 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Out of all the relationship books I’ve read, this one's at the top of my list! The first book I would recommend to anyone. It's funny, inspiring, with incredibly powerful ideas." – Dr. Mike Nichols “The principles in this book have literally changed my life, and given me practical tools for every relationship. I am confident it can do the same for you, wherever you are on your journey." – Melissa Drobnak “This book gives hope to the hopeless relationship. Each chapter gets straight to the heart of relationship issues and provides the know how to make change happen.” – Chelsea Wells Filled with moments to make you laugh, stories to inspire you, and insights to find effective solutions, these pages contain tools for every relationship you face. Developed from decades of research and clinical experience, Dr. Nealy Brown has introduced thousands across the globe to these life changing truths. Learn how to navigate difficult situations, quickly end conflicts, and touch cold hearts, even in your most challenging relationships, through simple, practical methods. Discover true stories of people facing impossible bosses, shattered marriages, and distant kids, and the steps that lead to amazing relationships where you never before thought it was possible. Restore your marriage even after your spouse has walked out. Heal that relationship with your teenager who’s slipping away. Revive your work life in the job you dread to face each day. Strengthen your healthy relationships even further.
Download or read book Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill Revised and Updated Edition written by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and published by Harmony. This book was released on 2014-08-05 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Completely revised and updated, a much-needed call to action for every parent, teacher, and citizen to help our children and stop the wave of killing and violence gripping America's youth Newtown, Aurora, Virginia Tech, Columbine. Thereis no bigger or more important issue in America than youth violence. Kids, some as young as ten years old, take up arms with the intention to murder. Why is this happening? Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano believe the root cause is the steady diet of violent entertainment kids see on TV, in movies, and in the video games they play—witnessing hundreds of violent images a day. Offering incontrovertible evidence based on recent scientific studies and research, they posit that this media is not just conditioning children to be violent and see killing as acceptable but teaching them the mechanics of killing as well. Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill supplies the statistics, interprets the copious research that exists on the subject, and suggests the many ways to make a difference in your home, at school, in your community, in the courts, and in the larger world. In using this book, parents, educators, social-service workers, youth advocates, and anyone interested in the welfare of our children will have a solid foundation for effective action and prevention of future Columbines, Jonesboros, and Newtowns.
Download or read book When Kids Kill written by Jonathan Paul and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-10-31 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jonathan Paul goes behind the sensationalist headlines of 'child killers' to investigate why these crimes happen. He examines child homicide in today's violent, confusing world and contextualises it against the cruel unforgiving retribution of yesterday. Children are increasingly experimenting with drugs and committing offences, but there are those who commit the worst possible crimes: to end another person's life before their own could properly have begun. The cases are shocking but sometimes the path towards them is even more so. This is a fascinating exploration of disturbing events aimed at discovering what happens when childhood is trodden underfoot, and when and why kids kill.
Download or read book Don t let Your Kids Kill You written by Charles Rubin and published by SCB Distributors. This book was released on 2011-02-12 with total page 200 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Defies the myth that parents must sacrific themselves. Instead, shows them how to reclaim their power, balance, happiness...and lives. When kids turn to substance abuse, parents also become victims as they watch their children transform into irrational and antisocial individuals. This harrowing scenario finds parents buckling beneath the stress--often with catastrophoric consequences: Divorce, career upsets, breakdowns and worse. "Don't Let Your Kids Kill You" is a landmark work that dares focus on the plight of the confused, distressed parent and not the erring child. It sets aside any preconceived ideas that parents are to blame for what is essentially a full-blown global crisis. Drawing on interviews with parents who've survived the heartbreak of kids on drugs, combined with his own experience, Charles Rubin provides practical advice on how parents can help themselves and their families by first attending to their own needs. Liberation begins when you open this book.
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Children written by Kenneth Charles Hutchin and published by . This book was released on 1968 with total page 318 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Baby written by Jacob Sager Weinstein and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This tongue-in-cheek parenting book is a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual parents have ever cringed over.
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Children written by and published by . This book was released on 1968 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book P How to Kill Yourself Instead of Your Children written by Quincy Scott Jones and published by . This book was released on 2021-09-15 with total page 84 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Renisha McBride. Tamir Rice. Jordan Davis. Trayvon Martin. Michael Brown. Freddie Gray. Aiyana Stanley-Jones. At a certain point, BIPOC families must have "the Conversation," a discussion and set of instructions for surviving a world of policing, presumed guilt, and the racial inequities that threaten our very lives. It's labeled "the Conversation," but this discussion is never an intimate moment, never a one-time event. Instead it's a constant choir of dissent and disembodied voices whispering and wailing night and day. Through a mix of lyric, found text, and hybridity, How to Kill Yourself Instead of Your Children highlights some of these voices: adults and children, murderers and victims, bookshelves and wanted posters, carnival barkers and political pundits. Inspired by Audre Lorde's "Power" How to Kill Yourself Instead of Your Children calls upon the past and present in an attempt to find a language higher than the circular rhetoric that falls in and out of mass media, to hold a conversation that is constant even in silence, to escape the cycle of violence and Black death.
Download or read book Children Who Kill written by Carol Anne Davis and published by Allison & Busby. This book was released on 2014-05-22 with total page 307 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why would two young boys abduct, torture and kill a toddler? What makes a teenage girl plot with her classmates to kill her own father? Society regards children as harmless - but for some the age of innocence is shortlived, messy and ultimately murderous.Mary Bell, Robert Thompson and Jon Venables are infamous for their crimes against other children, but many of the less familiar studies here are equally as shocking. Thirteen murderers - the youngest only ten - used fire, poison, bullets and strangulation on victims from infants to pensioners. In a comprehensive study of juvenile homicide, Carol Anne Davis offers new psychological insights and a hard-hitting look at the role of society in an area too shocking to ignore.
Download or read book When a Child Kills written by Paul Mones and published by . This book was released on 1992 with total page 394 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compassionate yet shattering exploration of the dark world of parricide. Attorney Paul Mones comes to the defense of abused children who kill their parents in this gripping, soul-wrenching, and detailed look at who these children are and why they kill. "Disturbing . . . but highly recommended".--ALA Booklist.
Download or read book How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids written by Jancee Dunn and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2017-03-21 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Get this for your pregnant friends, or yourself" (People): a hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice. Recommended by Nicole Cliffe in Slate Featured in People Picks A Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the Year One of Mother magazine's favorite parenting books of the Year How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper? Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate -- and rebuild -- your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children. Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.
Download or read book Did God Really Command Genocide written by Paul Copan and published by Baker Books. This book was released on 2014-11-11 with total page 331 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A common objection to belief in the God of the Bible is that a good, kind, and loving deity would never command the wholesale slaughter of nations. Even Christians have a hard time stomaching such a thought, and many avoid reading those difficult Old Testament passages that make us squeamish. Instead, we quickly jump to the enemy-loving, forgiving Jesus of the New Testament. And yet, the question doesn't go away. Did God really command genocide? Is the command to "utterly destroy" morally unjustifiable? Is it literal? Are the issues more complex and nuanced than we realize? In the tradition of his popular Is God a Moral Monster?, Paul Copan teams up with Matthew Flannagan to tackle some of the most confusing and uncomfortable passages of Scripture. Together they help the Christian and nonbeliever alike understand the biblical, theological, philosophical, and ethical implications of Old Testament warfare passages. Pastors, youth pastors, campus ministers, apologetics readers, and laypeople will find that this book both enlightens and equips them for serious discussion of troubling spiritual questions.
Download or read book I Kill the Mockingbird written by Paul Acampora and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2014-05-20 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Best friends Lucy, Elena, and Michael are excited to see "To Kill A Mockingbird" on their summer reading list. But not everyone in their class shares the same enthusiasm. So they hatch a plot to get the entire town talking about Harper Lee's classic novel.
Download or read book Kids who Kill written by Herma Silverstein and published by Twenty First Century Books. This book was released on 1997-01 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Examines the causes, cases, and social and personal impact of the increasing incidence of murders being committed by children and teenagers.
Download or read book Not My Idea written by Anastasia Higginbotham and published by Ordinary Terrible Things. This book was released on 2018-09 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: People of color are eager for white people to deal with their racial ignorance. White people are desperate for an affirmative role in racial justice. Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness helps with conversations the nation is, just now, finally starting to have.
