Download or read book Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2016-06-28 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Return to Mackerel Middle School with a special full-color extra-dumb diary from the New York Times–bestselling author! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever—but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she’s come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They’re going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, “She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and—forget it. I’m hungry. I want some cookies.” This is sure to go well. Praise for Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Download or read book Dumbness is a Dish Best Served Cold written by Jamie Kelly and published by . This book was released on 2016 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jamie and her friends Angeline and Isabella are studying "personal finance" in school, so they decide to put their heads together and come up with a way to earn serious money by creating some kind of food--the only trouble is none of them know anything about cooking.

Download or read book Dumbness Is a Dish Best Served Cold written by and published by . This book was released on 2016 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book What I Don t Know Might Hurt Me Dear Dumb Diary Year Two 4 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-06-25 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, continuing a new spin on a favorite series! Dear Dumb Diary, Just when I was pretty sure we could let the Student Awareness Committee quietly die a dignified death like some majestic old elephant or the Square Dancing Club, Angeline has to be aware of something. Great.And, of course, it couldn't be something interesting like nail polish or why maybe there should be a special class in nail polish and how to get it out of your beagle's ear. (Mom, if you're reading this, I'm not admitting anything. Somebody else could have painted a heart in his ear.)Angeline just had to be aware of one of those THINGS THAT ADULTS LIKE.

Download or read book Never Do Anything Ever Dear Dumb Diary 4 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 153 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

Download or read book Never Underestimate Your Dumbness Dear Dumb Diary 7 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sneak a peek inside the NY Times bestselling diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,Isabella is probably right. She almost always is.When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry-scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner -- although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.)But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to be the dumbest. . . .

Download or read book Can Adults Become Human Dear Dumb Diary 5 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,My social studies teacher, Mr. VanDoy, never smiles. I know that's hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right?Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than, like, a waterfall or a unicorn. I smile when I think about a unicorn kicking Angeline over a waterfall. But Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. I wonder if when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.

Download or read book That s What Friends Aren t For Dear Dumb Diary 9 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 152 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

Download or read book School Hasn t This Gone on Long Enough Dear Dumb Diary Year Two 1 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-06-25 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series! Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series!Dear Dumb Diary is a hilarious hit! Now after 12 books (each covering a month of her life), Jamie Kelly's upcoming diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. It's Dear Dumb Diary: Year Two! The diary entries are still laugh-out-loud funny -- but this is a whole new beginning. Everything is another year dumber!As Jamie grapples with school, grades, and middle school's Big Questions, don't miss even more of her words of wisdom like, "If someone is really, really intelligent, it would be polite if they would ugly it up a bit before they left the house."(Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

Download or read book Nobody s Perfect I m As Close As It Gets Dear Dumb Diary Year Two 3 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-06-25 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whatever you do, DON'T read Jamie Kelly's bestselling diaries! The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

Download or read book The Mouse and His Child written by Russell Hoban and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2016-01-26 with total page 215 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Like the fantasies of Tolkien, Thurber, E. B. White, The Mouse and His Child is filled with symbolism and satire, violence and vengeance, tears and laughter." -- The New York Times The images stay with you long after the book is done: the toy mouse and his father, on a journey together joined hand in hand; Manny Rat, the nefarious lord of the junkyard, stalking the toy mice for their clockwork parts; Uncle Frog, spouting wisdom and nonsense from within a glove; and the Bonzo Dog Food dog, repeating himself endlessly on a label, fading away to the last visible dog...Russell Hoban's novel is many things: a stirring adventure story, a sharp-witted comedy, and the moving tale of a father and son struggling to return to a state of grace.Called one of the great works of children's literature of the twentieth century -- but with an audience that spans ages and times -- The Mouse and His Child has been lovingly re-illustrated by Caldecott Medalist David Small for a new generation and a new millennium.

Download or read book Me Just Like You Only Better written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 167 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Middle schooler Jamie Kelly returns with another dumb diary: “You’ll laugh out loud at what this girl has to say.” —Knight Ridder Tribune Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It’s true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline’s flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she’s lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline’s failure to not be perfect. Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don’t tell her . . . Praise for New York Times–bestselling author Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Download or read book Okay So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers Dear Dumb Diary 11 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 166 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling author Jamie Kelly has been keeping diaries for years . . . and each one just gets funnier! But she has no idea that anyone is reading them. So please, please, please don't tell her.Something strange is happening at Mackerel Middle School. Even stranger than Jamie and Isabella becoming friends with Angeline. (Which is still really, really strange.) Jamie can suddenly and inexplicably understand the weirdest and most mysterious creatures around: Boys.And there's only one logical explanation --- superpowers.

Download or read book Am I the Princess or the Frog Dear Dumb Diary 3 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 169 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Download or read book The Worst Things in Life Are Also Free Dear Dumb Diary 10 written by Jim Benton and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 169 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.School's out for the summer, and that means no more Meat Loaf Thursdays, Sunday homework-cramming, or teachers (way way unsuccessfully) trying to act cool. It also means that certain Mackerel Middle Schoolers have a lot of time on their hands . . . and seriously empty pockets. Isabella is going to change all that. And Jamie and Angeline are going to help --- whether they like it or not. It's the best kind of teamwork: When a whole bunch of people work together to do something wrong, instead of doing it wrong one at a time.

Download or read book Beanstalker and Other Hilarious Scarytales written by Kiersten White and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2017-07-25 with total page 152 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kiersten White, the author of the NYT bestselling Paranormalcy trilogy, is ready to make her middle grade debut! Once upon a time, a girl skipped into the forest and became a zombie.Wait, no, that's not how this story is supposed to go. Let's try again.Once upon a time, a boy did a horrible job as a sheep-sitter and burned his tongue on stolen pie.No, children in these stories are always good and virtuous. From the top.Once upon a time, a king and queen tried to find a princess for their son to marry, and he wound up fleeing from a group of very hairy vampires.Hmmm...What about, once upon a time, a bunch of fairy tales got twisted around to be completely hilarious, a tiny bit icky, and delightfully spooky scarytales... in other words, exactly what fairy tales were meant to be. Grab some flaming torches, maybe don't accept that bowl of pease porridge, and get ready for a wickedly fun ride with acclaimed author Kiersten White and fairy tales like you've never heard them before.

Download or read book The Aquanaut A Graphic Novel written by Dan Santat and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2022-03-01 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dive in to this whimsically adventurous graphic novel from Caldecott Medalist and National Book Award Winner Dan Santat! Ever since her father was lost at sea, Sophia has been moping around Aqualand, the marine theme park her dad and uncle created. But Sophia's world is turned upside down when an "aquanaut" breaks into the park's research lab. To her amazement, Sophia discovers that the aquanaut is not what it seems -- inside lives a band of four goofy sea creatures! And when they all realize that Aqualand has evolved into something much darker than Sophia's dad had envisioned, Sophia is determined to help the aquanaut crew free the park's captive marine life before it's too late.