Download or read book When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us written by Jane Adams and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-06-20 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet -- and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children -- Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!
Download or read book I m Still Your Mother written by Jane Adams and published by Delta. This book was released on 1995 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A witty, warm and supportive book for forty-, fifty- and sixty-something parents who want to maintain close and loving relationships with their grown-up children. Adams offers creative, positive steps parents can take to affirm family bonds and guide their children toward building fulfilling adult lives.
Download or read book When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart written by Joel Young and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2013-12-03 with total page 267 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?" These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to "saving" their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation.
Download or read book Now That They Are Grown written by Ronald J. Greer and published by Abingdon Press. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 138 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We don’t stop being parents when our kids are grown...but some things do change. Life is filled with change. As our sons and daughters move into young adulthood, our role of what it means to be loving parents changes dramatically. This book aims to help readers miss as many potholes as possible in making the transition from parenting children to being parents of young adults. Here are ways to nurture our adult children while encouraging their independence and maturity. Learn to have balance. Here is how to respond to them in times of struggle. Readers will see how to be supportive, yet not intrusive, caring without enabling dependency. The questions are important. The answers are not obvious. It is a new day in our relationships with our children. The page has been turned, and we are now writing the new chapter in the life of our family. It is important that we get it right.
Download or read book When Your Child Breaks Your Heart written by Barbara Johnson and published by Revell. This book was released on 2008-10 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Beloved author Barbara Johnson offers hope to families facing difficulty coming to terms with a child's decisions in life, sharing how God brought her through the deep waters--and how he will do the same for them.
Download or read book Difficult written by Judith R. Smith and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2022-02-15 with total page 283 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A much-needed perspective on how to mother difficult adult children while balancing one’s own needs. Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers relatable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child? With guidance for finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child, Difficult is a compassionate resource for those living in a family situation which too many keep secret and allows readers to see that they are not alone.
Download or read book Doing Life with Your Adult Children written by Jim Burns, Ph.D and published by Zondervan. This book was released on 2019-03-26 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.
Download or read book Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children written by Allison Bottke and published by Harvest House Publishers. This book was released on 2019-12-03 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finally…Hope for Parents in Pain What parent doesn’t want their children to grow up to be happy, responsible adults? Yet despite parents’ best efforts, most heartfelt prayers, and most loving environments, some kids never successfully make the transition to independently functioning adulthood. Following her own journey, Allison Bottke developed a tough-love approach to parenting adult children that helps both you and your child by focusing on setting you free from the repeated pain of your adult child’s broken promises, lies, and deception. Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children offers practical hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God As you love your child with arms and heart wide open, know that no matter what happens you are never alone. God is in control and will be with you.
Download or read book Loving Our Kids on Purpose written by Danny Silk and published by Destiny Image Publishers. This book was released on 2009-12-28 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here is a fresh look at the age-old role of parenting.Loving Our Kids on Purpose brings the principles of the Kingdom of God and revival into our strategy as parents. 2 Corinthians 3:17 tells us that Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. Most parenting approaches train children to learn to accept being controlled by well meaning parents and adults. Unfortunately, God is not going to control us as we gain independence from our parents.We must learn to control ourselves.This book will teach parents to train their children to manage their freedoms and protect their important heart to heart relationships.
Download or read book Rules of Estrangement written by Joshua Coleman, PhD and published by Harmony. This book was released on 2021-03-02 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.
Download or read book Failure to Launch written by Mark McConville, Ph.D. and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-01-05 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From an expert in adolescent psychology comes a groundbreaking, timely, and necessary guide for parents of the 2.2 million young adults in America who are struggling to find their way in the world. In Dr. Mark McConville's decades of experience as a family clinical psychologist, perhaps no problem has been more fraught than that of young adults who fail to successfully transition from adolescence into adulthood. These kids--technically adults--just can't get it together: They can't hold a job, they struggle to develop meaningful relationships, and they often end up back in their parents' spare bedroom or on the couch. In fact, studies show that one in four Americans aged twenty-five to thirty-four neither work nor attend school, and it's a problem that spans all socioeconomic and geographic boundaries. McConville investigates the root causes of this problem: Why are modern kids "failing to launch" in ever-increasing numbers? The key, McConville has found, is that they are struggling with three critical skills that are necessary to make the transition from childhood to adulthood--finding a sense of purpose, developing administrative responsibility, and cultivating interdependence. In Failure to Launch, McConville breaks these down into achievable, accessible goals and offers a practical guide for the whole family, to help parents instill those skills in their young adults--and to get their kids into the real world, ready to start their lives.
Download or read book How to Stop Enabling Your Adult Children written by Melody Devonish and published by . This book was released on 2014-06-24 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: DISCOVER HOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELF TO STOP ENABLING YOUR ADULT CHILDREN AND TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AS YOU LEARN PRACTICAL STEPS TO STOP RESCUING This book will start you on your journey to stop enabling. If you just can't maintain boundaries with your adult child/children, and you find yourself constantly taken advantage of, then this book is for you. Discover the wealth of shared experience that can exist in a parent/adult child relationship that is not dominated by unrealistic expectations, manipulations and resentment. The goal is to empower you, as you understand the enabling cycle and then learn some very practical tools to help you stop. The enabling cycle can be challenged, and change will happen. Getting your power back in your life, and feeling the freedom of being in control of your decisions is an amazingly freeing process. It does however take work, and that is where this very practical book can get you started.You may find that your needs are constantly disregarded, while your adult child expects you to continually be there to pick up the pieces and rescue them again and again. It is time to learn HOW TO put firm boundaries in place in a calm and dignified manner.This book will help you see what lies are keeping you in your current stressful and unfulfilling situation. You will learn how to start the journey towards sharing a mutually fulfilling mature relationship with your adult child. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn Understanding the Enabler or Rescuer How the Enabling Cycle Continues and Grows Boundaries Are Your Friend! Dignified Assertiveness The Importance of Individuation It's Not Cruel To Say 'No'! Changing Your Thinking (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) Practical Steps For Putting Your New Thinking and Boundaries Into Action Take action right away to start your empowering journey today by buying this book, "How To Stop Enabling Your Adult Children"
Download or read book It Takes a Village written by Hillary Rodham Clinton and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-12-11 with total page 455 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ten years ago one of America's most important public figures, First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, chronicled her quest both deeply personal and, in the truest sense, public to help make our society into the kind of village that enables children to become able, caring resilient adults. IT TAKES A VILLAGE is a textbook for caring, filled with truths that are worth a read, and a reread. In her substantial new introduction, Senator Clinton reflects on how our village has changed over the last decade, from the internet to education, and on how her own understanding of children has deepened as she has watched Chelsea grow up and take on challenges new to her generation, from a first job to living through a terrorist attack. She discusses how the work she is doing in the Senate is helping children and looks at where America has been successful, improvements in the foster care system and support for adoption, and where there is still work to be done, providing pre-school programmes and universal health care to all our children. This new edition elucidates how the choices we make about how we raise our children, and how we support families, will determine how all nations will face the challenges of this century.
Download or read book Our Missing Hearts written by Celeste Ng and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2022-10-04 with total page 286 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An instant New York Times bestseller • A New York Times Notable Book of 2022 • Named a Best Book of 2022 by People, TIME Magazine, The Washington Post, USA Today, NPR, Los Angeles Times, and Oprah Daily, and more • A Reese's Book Club Pick • New York Times Paperback Row Selection From the #1 bestselling author of Little Fires Everywhere, comes the inspiring new novel about a mother’s unshakeable love. “It’s impossible not to be moved.” —Stephen King, The New York Times Book Review “Riveting, tender, and timely.” —People, Book of the Week “Thought-provoking, heart-wrenching . . . I was so invested in the future of this mother and son, and I can’t wait to hear what you think of this deeply suspenseful story!” —Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club Pick) Twelve-year-old Bird Gardner lives a quiet existence with his loving father, a former linguist who now shelves books in a university library. His mother Margaret, a Chinese American poet, left without a trace when he was nine years old. He doesn’t know what happened to her—only that her books have been banned—and he resents that she cared more about her work than about him. Then one day, Bird receives a mysterious letter containing only a cryptic drawing, and soon he is pulled into a quest to find her. His journey will take him back to the many folktales she poured into his head as a child, through the ranks of an underground network of heroic librarians, and finally to New York City, where he will finally learn the truth about what happened to his mother, and what the future holds for them both. Our Missing Hearts is an old story made new, of the ways supposedly civilized communities can ignore the most searing injustice. It’s about the lessons and legacies we pass on to our children, and the power of art to create change.
Download or read book Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child written by Tina Gilbertson and published by New World Library. This book was released on 2020-04-28 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches. Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson has developed these techniques and tools over years of face-to-face and online work with parents, who have found her strategies transformative and even life-changing. Gilbertson cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship. Parents will feel heard and understood but also challenged — and guided — to reclaim their role as"tone setter" and grow psychologically. Exercises, examples, and sample scripts empower parents who have felt powerless. Gilbertson shows that reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is well worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.
Download or read book There Are No Grown ups written by Pamela Druckerman and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2018-05-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The best-selling author of BRINGING UP BÉBÉ investigates life in her forties, and wonders whether her mind will ever catch up with her face. When Pamela Druckerman turns 40, waiters start calling her "Madame," and she detects a new message in mens' gazes: I would sleep with her, but only if doing so required no effort whatsoever. Yet forty isn't even technically middle-aged anymore. And there are upsides: After a lifetime of being clueless, Druckerman can finally grasp the subtext of conversations, maintain (somewhat) healthy relationships and spot narcissists before they ruin her life. What are the modern forties? What do we know once we reach them? What makes someone a "grown-up" anyway? And why didn't anyone warn us that we'd get cellulite on our arms? Part frank memoir, part hilarious investigation of daily life, There Are No Grown-Ups diagnoses the in-between decade when... • Everyone you meet looks a little bit familiar. • You're matter-of-fact about chin hair. • You can no longer wear anything ironically. • There's at least one sport your doctor forbids you to play. • You become impatient while scrolling down to your year of birth. • Your parents have stopped trying to change you. • You don't want to be with the cool people anymore; you want to be with your people. • You realize that everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently. • You know that it's ok if you don't like jazz. Internationally best-selling author and New York Times contributor Pamela Druckerman leads us on a quest for wisdom, self-knowledge and the right pair of pants. A witty dispatch from the front lines of the forties, THERE ARE NO GROWN-UPS is a (midlife) coming-of-age story--and a book for anyone trying to find their place in the world.
Download or read book The Course of Love written by Alain de Botton and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-06-14 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “An engrossing tale [that] provides plenty of food for thought” (People, Best New Books pick), this playful, wise, and profoundly moving second novel from the internationally bestselling author of How Proust Can Change Your Life tracks the beautifully complicated arc of a romantic partnership. We all know the headiness and excitement of the early days of love. But what comes after? In Edinburgh, a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love. They get married, they have children—but no long-term relationship is as simple as “happily ever after.” The Course of Love explores what happens after the birth of love, what it takes to maintain, and what happens to our original ideals under the pressures of an average existence. We see, along with Rabih and Kirsten, the first flush of infatuation, the effortlessness of falling into romantic love, and the course of life thereafter. Interwoven with their story and its challenges is an overlay of philosophy—an annotation and a guide to what we are reading. As The New York Times says, “The Course of Love is a return to the form that made Mr. de Botton’s name in the mid-1990s….love is the subject best suited to his obsessive aphorizing, and in this novel he again shows off his ability to pin our hopes, methods, and insecurities to the page.” This is a Romantic novel in the true sense, one interested in exploring how love can survive and thrive in the long term. The result is a sensory experience—fictional, philosophical, psychological—that urges us to identify deeply with these characters and to reflect on his and her own experiences in love. Fresh, visceral, and utterly compelling, The Course of Love is a provocative and life-affirming novel for everyone who believes in love. “There’s no writer alive like de Botton, and his latest ambitious undertaking is as enlightening and humanizing as his previous works” (Chicago Tribune).
