Download or read book Walking in Circles Before Lying Down written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2006-08-01 with total page 285 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dawn Tarnauer’s life isn’t exactly a success story. Already twice divorced, the young Californian is too busy job-hopping to start a career, her current boyfriend insists on living “off the grid,” her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations, her eccentric mother is busy promoting the culmination of her life’s work: The Every Holiday Tree, and her father is ending his brief third marriage while scheduling two dates for the same night. Dawn’s only source of security and comfort, it seems, is Chuck, a pit-bull mix from the pound. So, when her boyfriend announces that he’s leaving her for another woman, a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace. “I should have said something sooner,” Chuck confides, as he tries to console her. “Couldn’t you smell her on his pants?” Dawn is stunned. It’s one thing to talk to your pets, but what do you do when they start talking back? It’s not just Chuck, either; she can hear all dogs–and man’s best friend has a lot to say. The ever-enthusiastic Chuck offers his tried-and-true advice on the merits of knocking over garbage and strewing it everywhere, auxiliary competitive peeing etiquette, and the curative powers of tossing a ball. Doubtful of her own sanity, Dawn considers that, in the ways of life and love, it might be better to trust Chuck’s doggie instincts instead of her own. Filled with sharp wit, biting humor, and canine conversation that would make Doctor Dolittle’s jaw drop, Merrill Markoe’s engaging, cleverly written novel is about the confusing search for love and the divine acts of dog.

Download or read book Walking in Circles Before Lying Down written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2007-08-28 with total page 286 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dawn Tarnauer’s life isn’t exactly a success story. Already twice divorced, the young Californian is too busy job-hopping to start a career, her current boyfriend insists on living “off the grid,” her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations, her eccentric mother is busy promoting the culmination of her life’s work: The Every Holiday Tree, and her father is ending his brief third marriage while scheduling two dates for the same night. Dawn’s only source of security and comfort, it seems, is Chuck, a pit-bull mix from the pound. So, when her boyfriend announces that he’s leaving her for another woman, a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace. “I should have said something sooner,” Chuck confides, as he tries to console her. “Couldn’t you smell her on his pants?” Dawn is stunned. It’s one thing to talk to your pets, but what do you do when they start talking back? It’s not just Chuck, either; she can hear all dogs–and man’s best friend has a lot to say. The ever-enthusiastic Chuck offers his tried-and-true advice on the merits of knocking over garbage and strewing it everywhere, auxiliary competitive peeing etiquette, and the curative powers of tossing a ball. Doubtful of her own sanity, Dawn considers that, in the ways of life and love, it might be better to trust Chuck’s doggie instincts instead of her own. Filled with sharp wit, biting humor, and canine conversation that would make Doctor Dolittle’s jaw drop, Merrill Markoe’s engaging, cleverly written novel is about the confusing search for love and the divine acts of dog.

Download or read book Horizontal Parenting written by Michelle Woo and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2021-10-11 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Need a break . . . now? Horizontal Parenting offers 50 hilarious and effective activities designed to entertain kids while you lie down. Children are exhausting! In the marathon of modern parenting, everyone needs a break—just 10 precious minutes to rest your body and tune out the chaos. Enter Horizontal Parenting, the super-simple parenting hack for everyone, everywhere. With creative and practical advice for overworked parents and caretakers who "just need a minute," this book includes 50 fun, effective, and hilarious games to play with toddlers and children while lying down. Activities include: • What's on My Butt • Hide and Seek-ish • Don't Wake the Giant • Railroad to Relaxation • And many more! Relax and let your little ones release some energy while you catch your breath (and maybe a few even a few z's). All you need is a comfortable surface, a few household items, and your child's imagination, and you too can master the sanity-saving art of horizontal parenting. • 50 activities to keep your kids engaged and keep you lying down • Entertaining ideas for children and toddlers • No endless supply lists, screens, or batteries needed • Perfect for long days at home • Great gift for new (or seasoned!) parents Perfect for: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and caretakers of kids ages 2+

Download or read book Cesar s Way written by Cesar Millan and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2006-08-08 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cesar Millan—nationally recognized dog expert—helps you see the world through the eyes of your dog so you can finally eliminate problem behaviors. From his appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show to his roster of celebrity clients to his reality television series, Cesar Millan is America’s most sought-after dog-behavior expert. But Cesar is not a trainer in the traditional sense—his expertise lies in his unique ability to comprehend dog psychology. Tracing his own amazing journey from a clay-walled farm in Mexico to the celebrity palaces of Los Angeles, Cesar recounts how he learned what makes dogs tick. In Cesar’s Way, he shares this wisdom, laying the groundwork for you to have stronger, more satisfying relationships with your canine companions. Cesar’s formula for a contented and balanced dog seems impossibly simple: exercise, discipline, and affection, in that order. Taking readers through the basics of dog psychology and behavior, Cesar shares the inside details of some of his most fascinating cases, using them to illustrate how common behavior issues develop and, more important, how they can be corrected. You'll learn: • What your dog really needs may not be what you’re giving him • Why a dog’s natural pack instincts are the key to your happy relationship • How to relate to your dog on a canine level • There are no “problem breeds,” just problem owners • How to choose a dog who’s right for you and your family • The difference between discipline and punishment • And much more! Filled with fascinating anecdotes about Cesar’s longtime clients, and including forewords by the president of the International Association of Canine Professionals and Jada Pinkett Smith, this is the only book you’ll need to forge a stronger, more rewarding connection with your four-legged companion.

Download or read book The Other End of the Leash written by Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2009-02-19 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

Download or read book The Big Sleep written by Raymond Chandler and published by DigiCat. This book was released on 2022-08-16 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "The Big Sleep" by Raymond Chandler. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.

Download or read book Zak George s Dog Training Revolution written by Zak George and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2016-06-07 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A revolutionary way to raise and train your dog, with “a wealth of practical tips, tricks, and fun games that will enrich the lives of many dogs and their human companions” (Dr. Ian Dunbar, veterinarian and animal behaviorist). Zak George is a new type of dog trainer. A dynamic YouTube star and Animal Planet personality with a fresh approach, Zak helps you tailor dog training to your pet’s unique traits and energy level—leading to quicker results and a much happier pup. For the first time, Zak has distilled the information from his hundreds of videos and experience with thousands of dogs into this comprehensive dog and puppy training guide that includes: • Choosing the right pup for you • Housetraining and basic training • Handling biting, leash pulling, jumping up, barking, aggression, chewing, and other behavioral issues • Health care essentials like finding a vet and selecting the right food • Cool tricks, traveling tips, and activities to enjoy with your dog • Topics with corresponding videos on Zak’s YouTube channel so you can see his advice in action Packed with everything you need to know to raise and care for your dog, this book will help you communicate and bond with one another in a way that makes training easier, more rewarding, and—most of all—fun!

Download or read book The Rings of Saturn written by W. G. Sebald and published by New Directions Publishing. This book was released on 2016-11-08 with total page 233 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The book is like a dream you want to last forever" (Roberta Silman, The New York Times Book Review), now with a gorgeous new cover by the famed designer Peter Mendelsund A masterwork of W. G. Sebald, now with a gorgeous new cover by the famed designer Peter Mendelsund The Rings of Saturn—with its curious archive of photographs—records a walking tour of the eastern coast of England. A few of the things which cross the path and mind of its narrator (who both is and is not Sebald) are lonely eccentrics, Sir Thomas Browne’s skull, a matchstick model of the Temple of Jerusalem, recession-hit seaside towns, wooded hills, Joseph Conrad, Rembrandt’s "Anatomy Lesson," the natural history of the herring, the massive bombings of WWII, the dowager Empress Tzu Hsi, and the silk industry in Norwich. W.G. Sebald’s The Emigrants (New Directions, 1996) was hailed by Susan Sontag as an "astonishing masterpiece perfect while being unlike any book one has ever read." It was "one of the great books of the last few years," noted Michael Ondaatje, who now acclaims The Rings of Saturn "an even more inventive work than its predecessor, The Emigrants."

Download or read book Arthur written by Mikael Lindnord and published by Greystone Books Ltd. This book was released on 2017-09-09 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The epic true story of an extreme athlete, a stray dog, and how they found each other—now a major motion picture from Lionsgate starring Mark Walhberg and Simu Liu. “A miraculous tale.”—Washington Post “Like all great tales, this one had an intriguing start: a small good deed with enormous consequences for the dog and his rescuers, the basis for a heroic and heartwarming story.”—Forbes When you're racing 435 miles through the jungles and mountains of South America, the last thing you need is a stray dog tagging along. But that's exactly what happened to Mikael Lindnord, captain of a Swedish adventure racing team, when he threw a scruffy but dignified mongrel a meatball one afternoon. When the team left the next day, the dog followed. Try as they might, they couldn't lose him—and soon Mikael realized that he didn't want to. Crossing rivers, battling illness and injury, and struggling through some of the toughest terrain on the planet, the team and the dog walked, kayaked, cycled, and climbed together toward the finish line, where Mikael decided he would save the dog, now named Arthur, and bring him back to his family in Sweden, whatever it took. Illustrated with candid photographs, Arthur provides a testament to the amazing bond between dogs and people.

Download or read book The Book of Even More Awesome written by Neil Pasricha and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-04-28 with total page 400 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the bestselling author of The Book of Awesome, You Are Awesome, and the award-winning, multimillion-hit blog 1000 Awesome Things comes even more of the little things that make us smile every day! Neil Pasricha is back with a collection of hundreds more awesome things from the website, as well as never-before-seen extraordinary moments that deserve celebration: • Letting go of the gas pump perfectly so you end on a round number • When a baby falls asleep on you • When your pet notices you’re in a bad mood and comes to see you • Pulling a weed and getting all the roots with it • When your windshield wipers match the beat of the song you’re listening to • When the hiccups stop • The smooth feeling on your teeth when you get your braces off • Driving from a rough road onto a smooth one • When the person you’re meeting is even later than you are • That guy who helps you parallel park There’s even space for you to write your very own Awesome Things in the back. Because couldn’t we all use (even more) awesome?

Download or read book Cool Calm Contentious written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2012-08-07 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This is so well written. [When a book like this] comes along, it’s, like, ‘Thank you!’ What a great way to spend an afternoon, an evening, reading these essays. . . . Absolutely great.”—Jon Stewart “[Merrill] Markoe is easily as funny as David Sedaris. She’s capable of manic riffs and acerbic skewering. Still, her good nature shines through.”—The Washington Post In this hilarious collection of candid essays, including two pieces new to this edition, New York Times bestselling author Merrill Markoe reveals much about her personal life—as well as the secret formula for comedy: Start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs, finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from years of navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people, and—voilà—you’re funny! Cool, Calm & Contentious is honest, unapologetic, sometimes heartbreaking, but always shot through with Merrill Markoe’s biting, bracing wit. “This has been a great year for funny women. . . . Let’s call Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling exhibits A and B. Both owe a debt to those who came before, including Merrill Markoe.”—The Boston Globe “Markoe’s goal is to find the absurdity in everyday life. That, coupled with her sharp wit, makes her writing sublime.”—BookPage “Laugh-out-loud humor.”—Tampa Bay Times “Not only crazy-funny, but crazy-heartbreaking.”—The New York Times

Download or read book These Precious Days written by Ann Patchett and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-11-23 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The beloved New York Times bestselling author reflects on home, family, friendships and writing in this deeply personal collection of essays. "The elegance of Patchett’s prose is seductive and inviting: with Patchett as a guide, readers will really get to grips with the power of struggles, failures, and triumphs alike." —Publisher's Weekly “Any story that starts will also end.” As a writer, Ann Patchett knows what the outcome of her fiction will be. Life, however, often takes turns we do not see coming. Patchett ponders this truth in these wise essays that afford a fresh and intimate look into her mind and heart. At the center of These Precious Days is the title essay, a surprising and moving meditation on an unexpected friendship that explores “what it means to be seen, to find someone with whom you can be your best and most complete self.” When Patchett chose an early galley of actor and producer Tom Hanks’ short story collection to read one night before bed, she had no idea that this single choice would be life changing. It would introduce her to a remarkable woman—Tom’s brilliant assistant Sooki—with whom she would form a profound bond that held monumental consequences for them both. A literary alchemist, Patchett plumbs the depths of her experiences to create gold: engaging and moving pieces that are both self-portrait and landscape, each vibrant with emotion and rich in insight. Turning her writer’s eye on her own experiences, she transforms the private into the universal, providing us all a way to look at our own worlds anew, and reminds how fleeting and enigmatic life can be. From the enchantments of Kate DiCamillo’s children’s books (author of The Beatryce Prophecy) to youthful memories of Paris; the cherished life gifts given by her three fathers to the unexpected influence of Charles Schultz’s Snoopy; the expansive vision of Eudora Welty to the importance of knitting, Patchett connects life and art as she illuminates what matters most. Infused with the author’s grace, wit, and warmth, the pieces in These Precious Days resonate deep in the soul, leaving an indelible mark—and demonstrate why Ann Patchett is one of the most celebrated writers of our time.

Download or read book It s My F ing Birthday written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “In the coming year,” she said, hoisting her blindingly clean and gleaming glass into the air, “may half of all your dreams come true.” “Mom,” I said to her, “isn’t that kind of pathetic?” “Well, it’s realistic.” It’s her thirty-sixth birthday, and she really thought things would be different this year—that she’d have figured out men and how to get along with her narcissistic parents enough to survive a birthday celebration. But nothing’s changed. Her disappointing day is capped off by the delivery of a huge bouquet of flowers from Carl, with whom she has recently, and bitterly, split. A gesture of reconciliation? Of passive aggression? She’s too unhinged to tell. It’s My F---ing Birthday unfolds in seven state-of-my-life addresses this hapless high school art teacher writes to herself on consecutive birthdays, as she is determined to break the patterns of behavior that are keeping her down. Her objective: to avoid making the same mistakes over and over and start making some new ones. Through seven outrageously funny years of needling parents, self-absorbed boyfriends, riots, O.J., and Monica—and bigger and bigger bouquets from Carl—she navigates a circuitous (and ultimately successful) route to happiness in a world where everything seems to conspire to the contrary. What I Learned This Year That I Need to Remember 1. No more taking the bait from Mom. Even if the fight becomes about not taking the bait. 2. No more dwelling in the past. 3. Try much harder to continue being a vegetarian. This will limit the restaurants the folks can take me to. 4. No more trying to decode the flowers from Carl. If he sends them again, just think of them as a fun, free thing, like a little sample box of cereal or detergent that suddenly appears in the mailbox. 5. Don’t make a big deal out of the fact that there were no guys this year. Perhaps that’s a better thing than continuing to get involved with guys who exhibit behavior from the beginning that indicates the whole thing is completely hopeless. So try to remember the above as a coping strategy when I am so crazed with horniness that I want to throw myself off a building. 6. No more mumbo jumbo. This means no more calling 900 astrology numbers listed at the end of horoscopes in women’s magazines to find out my love forecast. And no more going to psychics, no matter how dicey things get.

Download or read book Grown and Flown written by Lisa Heffernan and published by Flatiron Books. This book was released on 2019-09-03 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: PARENTING NEVER ENDS. From the founders of the #1 site for parents of teens and young adults comes an essential guide for building strong relationships with your teens and preparing them to successfully launch into adulthood The high school and college years: an extended roller coaster of academics, friends, first loves, first break-ups, driver’s ed, jobs, and everything in between. Kids are constantly changing and how we parent them must change, too. But how do we stay close as a family as our lives move apart? Enter the co-founders of Grown and Flown, Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington. In the midst of guiding their own kids through this transition, they launched what has become the largest website and online community for parents of fifteen to twenty-five year olds. Now they’ve compiled new takeaways and fresh insights from all that they’ve learned into this handy, must-have guide. Grown and Flown is a one-stop resource for parenting teenagers, leading up to—and through—high school and those first years of independence. It covers everything from the monumental (how to let your kids go) to the mundane (how to shop for a dorm room). Organized by topic—such as academics, anxiety and mental health, college life—it features a combination of stories, advice from professionals, and practical sidebars. Consider this your parenting lifeline: an easy-to-use manual that offers support and perspective. Grown and Flown is required reading for anyone looking to raise an adult with whom you have an enduring, profound connection.

Download or read book What the Dogs Have Taught Me written by Merrill Markoe and published by Villard. This book was released on 2011-08-24 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Award-winning comedy writer Merrill Markoe, the slightly warped mind behind Stupid Pet Tricks, is an old hand with dogs. She knows who’s boss (they are) and the myriad ways a loving pet can make you feel guilty twenty-four hours a day. This new edition of Merrill Markoe’s classic collection of humorous essays gives readers the choicest selections along with brand-new material. In these razor-sharp essays, Markoe recounts her dogs’ phone chats with animal communicators, her search for past lives, and her brief stint as a stun gun saleswoman. She describes the workshop that taught her how to launch an Internet porn business and another that gave proper instruction in the esoteric art of becoming a dominatrix. She shares insight into what it is like to structure your day using only dog rules, how to spot a really horrible restaurant, and what it’s like to have a romantic dinner with Fabio. There’s even a bright side to preparing for the apocalypse: “At last, it is time to forget about fat grams and low cholesterol.” This enchantingly rambunctious and boundlessly enjoyable book gives you Merrill Markoe at her best. You’ll devour it in one sitting (and so may your pet).

Download or read book Can Holding in a Fart Kill You written by Andrew Thompson and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-23 with total page 99 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The bestselling author of Hair of the Dog to Paint the Town Red share more than 150 baffling, bizarre, and enlightening facts in the fun trivia collection. This curious, captivating collection of trivia will surprise and intrigue readers with amazing answers to questions like: • Is Jurassic Park possible? • What causes “the shakes” after drinking a lot of alcohol? • Why do dogs walk in circles before lying down? • What makes popcorn pop? The follow-up to the bestselling What Did We Use Before Toilet Paper?, Can Holding in a Fart Kill You? has even more fun and fascinating trivia. Perfect for the ever-curious trivia lover, this book is the ultimate in truly extraordinary information. From silly to serious to outright bizarre, this expansive collection offers surprising answers and unexpected facts on everything from history and science to pop culture and nature. From the everyday to the fantastical—it's all here. “A very handy book that could honestly, save their life—or just answer all those questions they’re maybe too embarrassed to even google.” —Buzzfeed

Download or read book Merrill Markoe s Guide to Love written by Merrill Markoe and published by Atlantic Monthly Press. This book was released on 1998 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A zany look at the world of romance and love shares the author's observations on sex seminars, dating, the secrets of seduction, and marriage.