Download or read book The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet written by Jake Maia Arlow and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2024-05-28 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilariously honest book about surviving middle school while navigating a chronic illness from the Stonewall Honor-winning author of Almost Flying. Twelve-year-old Al Schneider is too scared to talk about the two biggest things in her life: 1. Her stomach hurts all the time and she has no idea why. 2. She’s almost definitely 100% sure she likes girls. So she holds it in…until she can’t. After nearly having an accident of the lavatorial variety in gym class, Al finds herself getting a colonoscopy and an answer—she has Crohn’s disease. But rather than solving all her problems, Al's diagnosis just makes everything worse. It’s scary and embarrassing. And worst of all, everyone wants her to talk about it—her overprotective mom, her best friend, and most annoyingly her gastroenterologist, who keeps trying to get her to go to a support group for kids with similar chronic illnesses. But, who wants to talk about what you do in the bathroom? The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet is a wildly funny and honest story about finding community, telling the truth even when it’s hard, and the many indignities of middle school life.

Download or read book Almost Flying written by Jake Maia Arlow and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2023-08-01 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this Stonewall Honor book, a week-long amusement park road trip becomes a true roller coaster of emotion when Dalia realizes she has more-than-friend feelings for her new bestie. "Dalia’s journey to self-discovery is refreshingly honest, and this entire cast of characters will steal your heart.” – Maulik Pancholy, actor and Stonewall Honor-winning author of The Best At It Would-be amusement park aficionado Dalia only has two items on her summer bucket list: (1) finally ride a roller coaster and (2) figure out how to make a new best friend. But when her dad suddenly announces that he's engaged, Dalia's schemes come to a screeching halt. With Dalia's future stepsister Alexa heading back to college soon, the grown-ups want the girls to spend the last weeks of summer bonding--meaning Alexa has to cancel the amusement park road trip she's been planning for months. Luckily Dalia comes up with a new plan: If she joins Alexa on her trip and brings Rani, the new girl from her swim team, along maybe she can have the perfect summer after all. But what starts out as a week of funnel cakes and Lazy River rides goes off the rails when Dalia discovers that Alexa's girlfriend is joining the trip. And keeping Alexa's secret makes Dalia realize one of her own: She might have more-than-friend feelings for Rani.

Download or read book Motel of the Mysteries written by David Macaulay and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 1979-10-11 with total page 97 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is the year 4022; all of the ancient country of Usa has been buried under many feet of detritus from a catastrophe that occurred back in 1985. Imagine, then, the excitement that Howard Carson, an amateur archeologist at best, experienced when in crossing the perimeter of an abandoned excavation site he felt the ground give way beneath him and found himself at the bottom of a shaft, which, judging from the DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging from an archaic doorknob, was clearly the entrance to a still-sealed burial chamber. Carson's incredible discoveries, including the remains of two bodies, one of then on a ceremonial bed facing an altar that appeared to be a means of communicating with the Gods and the other lying in a porcelain sarcophagus in the Inner Chamber, permitted him to piece together the whole fabric of that extraordinary civilization.

Download or read book How to Excavate a Heart written by Jake Maia Arlow and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2022-11-01 with total page 311 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stonewall Honor author Jake Maia Arlow delivers a sapphic Jewish twist on the classic Christmas rom-com in a read perfect for fans of Kelly Quindlen and Casey McQuiston. It all starts when Shani runs into May. Like, literally. With her mom’s Subaru. Attempted vehicular manslaughter was not part of Shani’s plan. She was supposed to be focusing on her monthlong paleoichthyology internship. She was going to spend all her time thinking about dead fish and not at all about how she was unceremoniously dumped days before winter break. It could be going better. But when a dog-walking gig puts her back in May’s path, the fossils she’s meant to be diligently studying are pushed to the side—along with the breakup. Then they’re snowed in together on Christmas Eve. As things start to feel more serious, though, Shani’s hurt over her ex-girlfriend’s rejection comes rushing back. Is she ready to try a committed relationship again, or is she okay with this just being a passing winter fling?

Download or read book Um Mommy I Think I Flushed My Brother Down the Toilet Again written by Jeff Rivera and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-10-06 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The exciting SEQUEL (PART 2) to the original bestselling children's book Welcome to 'Yuck Kingdom'-AGAIN! Falisha Whiskers has flushed her little brother Jesse down the toilet even after she promised, no matter how annoying he is, to never ever to do it again! Now she has to flush herself down onto the muddy streets made of smelly jelly fellies, even though she'd hoped to never step foot inside that gross place again. This time Falisha discovers she is on a special mission to rescue Jessie and all the Urpie Burpies from The Toilet Paper King-The Most Evil King in all of Yuck Kingdom-before it's too late. Will she and a team of Slumpy Bumpies find them and get home before Falisha and Jessie's daddy comes home or will Jessie have to stay in 'Yuck Kingdom' with The Toilet Paper King forever?

Download or read book The Evil Wizard Smallbone written by Delia Sherman and published by Candlewick Press. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a hilarious tale reminiscent of T. H. White, a lost boy finds himself an unlikely apprentice to the very old, vaguely evil, mostly just grumpy Wizard Smallbone. When twelve-year-old Nick runs away from his uncle’s in the middle of a blizzard, he stumbles onto a very opinionated bookstore. He also meets its guardian, the self-proclaimed Evil Wizard Smallbone, who calls Nick his apprentice and won’t let him leave, but won’t teach him magic, either. It’s a good thing the bookstore takes Nick’s magical education in hand, because Smallbone’s nemesis—the Evil Wizard Fidelou—and his pack of shape-shifting bikers are howling at the borders. Smallbone might call himself evil, but compared to Fidelou, he’s practically a puppy. And he can’t handle Fidelou alone. Wildly funny and cozily heartfelt, Delia Sherman’s latest is an eccentric fantasy adventure featuring dueling wizards, enchanted animals, and one stray boy with a surprising knack for magic.

Download or read book Homesick for Another World written by Ottessa Moshfegh and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2017-01-17 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times Book Review Notable Book of 2017 An electrifying first collection from one of the most exciting short story writers of our time "I can’t recall the last time I laughed this hard at a book. Simultaneously, I’m shocked and scandalized. She’s brilliant, this young woman."—David Sedaris Ottessa Moshfegh's debut novel Eileen was one of the literary events of 2015. Garlanded with critical acclaim, it was named a book of the year by The Washington Post and the San Francisco Chronicle, nominated for a National Book Critics Circle Award, short-listed for the Man Booker Prize, and won the PEN/Hemingway Award for debut fiction. But as many critics noted, Moshfegh is particularly held in awe for her short stories. Homesick for Another World is the rare case where an author's short story collection is if anything more anticipated than her novel. And for good reason. There's something eerily unsettling about Ottessa Moshfegh's stories, something almost dangerous, while also being delightful, and even laugh-out-loud funny. Her characters are all unsteady on their feet in one way or another; they all yearn for connection and betterment, though each in very different ways, but they are often tripped up by their own baser impulses and existential insecurities. Homesick for Another World is a master class in the varieties of self-deception across the gamut of individuals representing the human condition. But part of the unique quality of her voice, the echt Moshfeghian experience, is the way the grotesque and the outrageous are infused with tenderness and compassion. Moshfegh is our Flannery O'Connor, and Homesick for Another World is her Everything That Rises Must Converge or A Good Man is Hard to Find. The flesh is weak; the timber is crooked; people are cruel to each other, and stupid, and hurtful. But beauty comes from strange sources. And the dark energy surging through these stories is powerfully invigorating. We're in the hands of an author with a big mind, a big heart, blazing chops, and a political acuity that is needle-sharp. The needle hits the vein before we even feel the prick.

Download or read book Mulrox and the Malcognitos written by Kerelyn Smith and published by Fog Field Press. This book was released on 2020-03-29 with total page 364 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A wildly fun adventure about friendship, imagination, and embracing your imperfections. When an ogre poet’s bad ideas come to life, he must go on a quest to save them before his world descends into chaos. For ages 8-12, fans of The Phantom Tollbooth, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz will delight in this wacky and insightful children’s fantasy novel. A bad idea is nothing to worry about… until it knocks on your door. Mulrox the ogre harbors a secret desire to become the world's greatest poet. Unfortunately, all of his ideas are rotten. But when his terrible ideas come to life, Mulrox soon finds himself on a quest to protect the very ideas he loathes, the malcognitos as they call themselves. Accompanied by his sassy pet toad, quirky neighbor, and a hoard of mischievous bad ideas, Mulrox must travel to the malcognitos' realm, uncover the mystery of the beast hunting them, and return home in time to deliver the best poem of his life. If you like prophetic rodents, spellbinding sneezes, and ferocious sheep, you'll love this book. Join Mulrox and his friends for a wild ride full of antics, strange new creatures, and lots of bad poetry.

Download or read book Dear Life written by Alice Munro and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2012-11-13 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WINNER OF THE NOBEL PRIZE© IN LITERATURE 2013 A New York Times Notable Book A Washington Post Notable Work of Fiction A Best Book of the Year: The Atlantic, NPR, San Francisco Chronicle, Vogue, AV Club In story after story in this brilliant new collection, Alice Munro pinpoints the moment a person is forever altered by a chance encounter, an action not taken, or a simple twist of fate. Her characters are flawed and fully human: a soldier returning from war and avoiding his fiancée, a wealthy woman deciding whether to confront a blackmailer, an adulterous mother and her neglected children, a guilt-ridden father, a young teacher jilted by her employer. Illumined by Munro’s unflinching insight, these lives draw us in with their quiet depth and surprise us with unexpected turns. And while most are set in her signature territory around Lake Huron, some strike even closer to home: an astonishing suite of four autobiographical tales offers an unprecedented glimpse into Munro’s own childhood. Exalted by her clarity of vision and her unparalleled gift for storytelling, Dear Life shows how strange, perilous, and extraordinary ordinary life can be.

Download or read book Oh Crap Potty Training written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 167 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.

Download or read book Evvie Drake Starts Over written by Linda Holmes and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2022-03-29 with total page 401 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Read with Jenna Book Club Pick as Featured on Today • “Everything a romantic comedy should be: witty, relatable, and a little complicated.”—People A heartfelt debut about the unlikely relationship between a young woman who’s lost her husband and a major league pitcher who’s lost his game. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY NPR In a sleepy seaside town in Maine, recently widowed Eveleth “Evvie” Drake rarely leaves her large, painfully empty house nearly a year after her husband’s death in a car crash. Everyone in town, even her best friend, Andy, thinks grief keeps her locked inside, and Evvie doesn’t correct them. Meanwhile, in New York City, Dean Tenney, former Major League pitcher and Andy’s childhood best friend, is wrestling with what miserable athletes living out their worst nightmares call the “yips”: he can’t throw straight anymore, and, even worse, he can’t figure out why. As the media storm heats up, an invitation from Andy to stay in Maine seems like the perfect chance to hit the reset button on Dean’s future. When he moves into an apartment at the back of Evvie’s house, the two make a deal: Dean won’t ask about Evvie’s late husband, and Evvie won’t ask about Dean’s baseball career. Rules, though, have a funny way of being broken—and what starts as an unexpected friendship soon turns into something more. To move forward, Evvie and Dean will have to reckon with their pasts—the friendships they’ve damaged, the secrets they’ve kept—but in life, as in baseball, there’s always a chance—up until the last out. A joyful, hilarious, and hope-filled debut, Evvie Drake Starts Over will have you cheering for the two most unlikely comebacks of the year—and will leave you wanting more from Linda Holmes. Praise for Evvie Drake Starts Over “A quirky, sweet, and splendid story of a woman coming into her own.”—Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling author of Daisy Jones & The Six “Effortlessly enjoyable . . . [a] pitch-perfect . . . adult love story that is as romantic as it is real.”–USA Today “Charming, hopeful, and gently romantic . . . Evvie Drake is great company.”—Rainbow Rowell, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Eleanor & Park

Download or read book The Panic Years written by Nell Frizzell and published by Flatiron Books. This book was released on 2021-02-09 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Renowned journalist Nell Frizzell explores what happens when a woman begins to ask herself: should I have a baby? We have descriptors for many periods of life—adolescence, menopause, mid-life crisis, quarter-life crisis—but there is a period of profound change that many women face, often in their late twenties to early forties, that does not yet have a name. Nell Frizzell is calling this period of flux “the panic years,” and it is often characterized by a preoccupation with one major question: should I have a baby? And from there—do I want a baby? With whom should I have a baby? How will I know when I’m ready? Decisions made during this period suddenly take on more weight, as questions of love, career, friendship, fertility, and family clash together while peers begin the process of coupling and breeding. But this very important process is rarely written or talked about beyond the clichés of the “ticking clock.” Enter Frizzell, our comforting guide, who uses personal stories from her own experiences in the panic years to illuminate the larger social and cultural trends, and gives voice to the uncertainty, confusion, and urgency that tends to characterize this time of life. Frizzell reminds us that we are not alone in this, and encourages us to share our experiences and those of the women around us—as she does with honesty and vulnerability in these pages. Raw and hilarious, The Panic Years is an arm around the shoulder for every woman trying to navigate life’s big decisions against the backdrop of the mother of all questions.

Download or read book Me Talk Pretty One Day written by David Sedaris and published by Back Bay Books. This book was released on 2009-05-04 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A new collection from David Sedaris is cause for jubilation. His recent move to Paris has inspired hilarious pieces, including Me Talk Pretty One Day, about his attempts to learn French. His family is another inspiration. You Cant Kill the Rooster is a portrait of his brother who talks incessant hip-hop slang to his bewildered father. And no one hones a finer fury in response to such modern annoyances as restaurant meals presented in ludicrous towers and cashiers with 6-inch fingernails. Compared by The New Yorker to Twain and Hawthorne, Sedaris has become one of our best-loved authors. Sedaris is an amazing reader whose appearances draw hundreds, and his performancesincluding a jaw-dropping impression of Billie Holiday singing I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weinerare unforgettable. Sedariss essays on living in Paris are some of the funniest hes ever written. At last, someone even meaner than the French! The sort of blithely sophisticated, loopy humour that might have resulted if Dorothy Parker and James Thurber had had a love child. Entertainment Weekly on Barrel Fever Sidesplitting Not one of the essays in this new collection failed to crack me up; frequently I was helpless. The New York Times Book Review on Naked

Download or read book Linked written by Gordon Korman and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2021-07-20 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An unforgettable novel from the New York Times bestseller Gordon Korman Link, Michael, and Dana live in a quiet town. But it's woken up very quickly when someone sneaks into school and vandalizes it with a swastika. Nobody can believe it. How could such a symbol of hate end up in the middle of their school? Who would do such a thing? Because Michael was the first person to see it, he's the first suspect. Because Link is one of the most popular guys in school, everyone's looking to him to figure it out. And because Dana's the only Jewish girl in the whole town, everyone's treating her more like an outsider than ever. The mystery deepens as more swastikas begin to appear. Some students decide to fight back and start a project to bring people together instead of dividing them further. The closer Link, Michael, and Dana get to the truth, the more there is to face-not just the crimes of the present, but the crimes of the past. With Linked, Gordon Korman, the author of the acclaimed novel Restart, poses a mystery for all readers where the who did it? isn't nearly as important as the why?

Download or read book Liam Goes Poo in the Toilet written by Jane Whelen-Banks and published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. This book was released on 2008-11-15 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'This is Liam. Every day Liam eats lots of good food. Each time Liam eats, his tummy gets fuller and fuller... and fuller... until Liam's tummy starts to stretch' Successful toilet training is a time of celebration for both parents and child. It marks the end of dirty diapers and a forward step in the development of a child. Fraught with both stress and triumph, the period of toilet training can take from days to months. For a typical child, learning to gain control over the body's internal stimuli can be at best challenging. For many children, however, these internal cues can be overwhelming and confusing, leading to both a frustrating and traumatic toileting experience. Liam Goes Poo in the Toilet illustrates the relationship between eating and excreting. It provides visual instructions on how to 'relax and push'. After much fanfare, Liam finally masters going `poo' in the toilet, and both he and Mum bask in the glory of a job well done.

Download or read book The Toilet of Doom written by Michael Lawrence and published by . This book was released on 2001 with total page 221 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A boy plays a computer game and accidentally swaps bodies with a girl.

Download or read book Go Diaper Free written by Andrea Olson and published by . This book was released on 2021-02-17 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stop changing diapers?start potting your baby. Over half the world's children are potty trained by one year old, yet the average potty training age in the United States is currently three years old. This leaves parents wondering: What did people do before diapers? and How do I help my own baby out of diapers sooner?Elimination Communication, also known as EC, is the natural alternative to full-time diapers and conventional toilet training. Although human babies have been pottied from birth for all human history, we've modernized the technique to work in today's busy world.Go Diaper Free shows parents of 0-18 month babies, step-by-step, how to do EC with confidence, whether full time or part time, with diapers or without. "Diaper-free" doesn't mean a naked baby making a mess everywhere - it actually means free from dependence upon diapers. With this book, new parents can avoid years of messy diapers, potty training struggles, diaper rash, and unexplained fussiness. Also helpful for those considering EC, in the middle of a potty pause, or confused about how to begin.This 6th edition includes a new section on The Dream Pee, a full text and graphic revision, more photos of EC in action, and a complete list of further resources.MULTIMEDIA EDITION: includes the book and access to private video library, helpful downloads, additional troubleshooting, and our private online support group run by our Certified Coaches. For less than the cost of a case of diapers, you can learn EC hands-on, the way it's meant to be learned.