Download or read book The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School written by Ken Derby and published by . This book was released on 2014-04-05 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Follows the humorous attempts of fifth grader Anthony "Tony Baloney" Madison to become a guest on his favorite television show, "The Late Show with David Letterman."
Download or read book The Top Ten Ways to Ruin the First Day of School written by Kenneth Derby and published by Scholastic Paperbacks. This book was released on 2006-07 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fifth-grader Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of The Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the jokes, the silly routines, and most of all the top ten lists-and Tony will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. He's even devising his own repertoire of Stupid Human Tricks and top ten lists sure to put him next in line as Dave's replacement. But to get all the way from Kansas to the big time in New York City, he will have to pull out all the stops. Tony Baloney takes his friends, family, and teachers on an uproarious and wild ride to remember.
Download or read book Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child written by Anthony Esolen and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2023-07-18 with total page 213 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Play dates, soccer practice, day care, political correctness, drudgery without facts, television, video games, constant supervision, endless distractions: these and other insidious trends in child rearing and education are now the hallmarks of childhood. As author Anthony Esolen demonstrates in this elegantly written, often wickedly funny book, almost everything we are doing to children now constricts their imaginations, usually to serve the ulterior motives of the constrictors. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child takes square aim at these accelerating trends, in a bitingly witty style reminiscent of C. S. Lewis, while offering parents—and children—hopeful alternatives. Esolen shows how imagination is snuffed out at practically every turn: in the rearing of children almost exclusively indoors; in the flattening of love to sex education, and sex education to prurience and hygiene; in the loss of traditional childhood games; in the refusal to allow children to organize themselves into teams; in the effacing of the glorious differences between the sexes; in the dismissal of the power of memory, which creates the worst of all possible worlds in school—drudgery without even the merit of imparting facts; in the strict separation of the child’s world from the adult’s; and in the denial of the transcendent, which places a low ceiling on the child’s developing spirit and mind. But Esolen doesn’t stop at pointing out the problem; he offers clear solutions as well. With charming stories from his own boyhood and an assist from the master authors and thinkers of the Western tradition, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child is a welcome respite from the overwhelming banality of contemporary culture. Interwoven throughout this indispensable guide to child rearing is a rich tapestry of the literature, music, art, and thought that once enriched the lives of American children. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child confronts contemporary trends in parenting and schooling by reclaiming lost traditions. This practical, insightful book is essential reading for any parent who cares about the paltry thing that childhood has become, and who wants to give a child something beyond the dull drone of today’s culture.
Download or read book The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade written by Kenneth Derby and published by . This book was released on 2004 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade Fifth-grader Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of the Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the jokes, the silly routines, and most of all the top ten lists Dave features night after night; and Tony will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. He's even devising his own repertoire of Stupid Human Tricks and top ten lists (such as "The Top 10 Way to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade, #1: Get your foot stuck in a toilet in the boys' restroom and have to be rescued by the 911 guys") sure to put him next in line as Dave's replacement. But to get all the way from Kansas to the big time in New York City, he will have to pull out all the stops. With his own brand of top ten lists, and stunts that range from photocopying his hinder to taking to the field in a bear suit at a professional football game, Tony Baloney takes his friends, family, and readers on a uproarious and wild ride to remember.
Download or read book The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School written by Kenneth Derby and published by . This book was released on 2005 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Follows the humorous attempts of fifth grader Anthony "TB" Madison to become a guest on his favorite television show, "The Late Show with David Letterman."
Download or read book The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School written by Ken Derby and published by . This book was released on 2012-11-01 with total page 134 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 122,000 copies in print! Originally published as The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade, but now it has a new cover and a new title, The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School. It is the same humorous book with the same humorous story that kids love! An International Reading Association and Children's Book Council "Children's Choices" Honor Book An Alabama "Children's Choice Book Award Program" Winner "Nonstop wacky action." - School Library Journal "A quick, fun read that will appeal to would-be show-offs everywhere." - Booklist "This very funny, very silly book is filled with kids, teachers and parents who will make you laugh - when you're not chuckling about Tony's latest antics." -The Washington Post Summary: Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of the Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the Late Show and will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. But to get from Kansas City to New York City, he'll have to pull out all the stops. With his own brand of Top Ten lists, and stunts that range from photocopying his hinder to taking to the field in a bear suit at a professional football game, Tony takes the NFL, MTV, New York City, the Hells Angels, his teacher, friends, family, and readers on an uproarious ride to remember. Hey kids! Have fun submitting your own hilarious Top Ten lists online at Top Ten School! And . . . you can become an official member of the Top Ten Rockers at Top Ten School! Hardcover originally published by Holiday House.Paperback originally published by Scholastic.Paperback re-released by Illusion Publishing.
Download or read book How to Almost Ruin Your Summer written by Taryn Souders and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2016-06-07 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Top Three Reasons Camp Minnehaha is The Worst 1. The spiders (wayyyy too many legs) 2. King Arthur (a rampaging goat intent on my destruction) 3. Victoria a.k.a The Diva (an evil cabin mate obsessed with French beauty products and my humiliation) Chloe McCorkle knew a summer camp where you had to learn a career was a bad idea. She tried to tell her parents, but they just had to go on vacation to Alaska and ship her off for two weeks. It's not ideal, but she's going to try to make the best of it. She might even learn some skills that will help her make money for the new bike she's been eyeing. But Chloe quickly discovers there's only one area at which she excels; she manages to get more demerits than anyone else in camp...
Download or read book How to Ruin Your Life written by Ben Stein and published by ReadHowYouWant.com. This book was released on 2010-07 with total page 318 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How to Ruin Your Life is a powerful self-help tool in the form of a work of humor. It is sardonic advice, presented with tongue in cheek, explaining how people can ''ruin' their lives. The essays cover topics such as ''Convince Yourself That Youre All That Matters,' Think the Worst of Everyone,' ''Pour Salt on Those Wounds,' and ''You Can Change People.' Seriously, though, to anyone who reads this book, it is an earnest warning about falling into traps of self-destructive behavior that can ruin any man or womans life. More than that, it comprises 35 steps that - if read and understood - provide a road map to making life work in the most effective way possible. It is humor and self-help all in one, delivered by Ben Stein, a man who has witnessed more than his share of people who did ruin their lives - as well as those whose lives have been wildly successful.
Download or read book Look Both Ways written by Jason Reynolds and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-10-27 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A collection of ten short stories that all take place in the same day about kids walking home from school"--
Download or read book How to Ruin Your Children s Lives written by Mary McHugh and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2004 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but the alien known as teenager comes from a place way beyond those two. What else would account for that incredible transformation from loving child to the hostile creature who wants zilch to do with dear old Mom and Dad? How to Ruin Your Children's Lives is a survival manual for enduring this transmutation and-with a little luck-maintaining enough sanity to one day hear those longed-for words, Hey, I guess you weren't so stupid after all.Purple hair? Belly rings? Bizarre musical tastes? Not a problem as long as readers have How to Ruin Your Children's Lives' nearly 300 tips and tactics close at hand. With resident teenagers slamming doors and screaming at the top of their lungs, Mom! You're ruining my life! parents should at least make certain they're handling the job with aplomb.Consider these tips: o Call them at their friend's house to ask if they want lasagna for dinner.o Ask them about girlfriends (or boyfriends) in front of relatives.o Tell them about the time you streaked when you were in college.o Sing old Beatles songs when their friends are in the car.o Dress like Christina Aguilera.Author Mary McHugh is right on target. She shows parents how to match attitude with attitude and how to carry on whether the teen-parent subject is sex, using the family car, grades, or curfews. This book's perfect for any parent in the trenches and for empty nesters trying to stem their tears.
Download or read book 50 Rules Kids Won t Learn in School written by Charles J. Sykes and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2007-08-21 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Charles J. Sykes offers fifty life lessons not included in the self-esteem-laden, reality-light curriculum of most schools. Here are truths about what kids will encounter in the world post-schooling, and ideas for how parents can reclaim lost ground---not with pep talks and touchy-feely negotiations, but with honesty and respect. Sykes's rules are frank, funny, and tough minded, including: #1 Life is not fair. Get used to it. #7 If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you FEEL about it. #15 Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it "opportunity." #42 Change the oil. #43 Don't let the success of others depress you. #48 Tell yourself the story of your life. Have a point. Each rule is explored with wise, pithy examples that parents, grandparents, and teachers can use to help children help themselves succeed---in school and out of it. A few rules kids won't learn in school: #9 Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. #14 Looking like a slut does not empower you. #29 Learn to deal with hypocrisy. #32 Television is not real life. #38 Look people in the eye when you meet them. #47 You are not perfect, and you don't have to be. #50 Enjoy this while you can.
Download or read book Project Hail Mary written by Andy Weir and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2021-05-04 with total page 497 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of The Martian, a lone astronaut must save the earth from disaster in this “propulsive” (Entertainment Weekly), cinematic thriller full of suspense, humor, and fascinating science—in development as a major motion picture starring Ryan Gosling. HUGO AWARD FINALIST • ONE OF THE YEAR’S BEST BOOKS: Bill Gates, GatesNotes, New York Public Library, Parade, Newsweek, Polygon, Shelf Awareness, She Reads, Kirkus Reviews, Library Journal • “An epic story of redemption, discovery and cool speculative sci-fi.”—USA Today “If you loved The Martian, you’ll go crazy for Weir’s latest.”—The Washington Post Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission—and if he fails, humanity and the earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn’t know that. He can’t even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he’s been asleep for a very, very long time. And he’s just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company. His crewmates dead, his memories fuzzily returning, Ryland realizes that an impossible task now confronts him. Hurtling through space on this tiny ship, it’s up to him to puzzle out an impossible scientific mystery—and conquer an extinction-level threat to our species. And with the clock ticking down and the nearest human being light-years away, he’s got to do it all alone. Or does he? An irresistible interstellar adventure as only Andy Weir could deliver, Project Hail Mary is a tale of discovery, speculation, and survival to rival The Martian—while taking us to places it never dreamed of going.
Download or read book 10 Best Parenting Ways to Ruin Your Teenager written by Israel Galindo and published by . This book was released on 2005 with total page 90 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book By the Book written by Amanda Sellet and published by HMH Books For Young Readers. This book was released on 2020 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A teen obsessed with 19th century literature tries to cull advice on life and love from her favorite classic heroines to disastrous results--especially when she falls for the school's resident lothario"--
Download or read book Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade written by Kenneth Derby and published by . This book was released on 2004-01 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Crabtree School 1 Year Two Forever and Ever written by Lauren Pearson and published by Scholastic UK. This book was released on 2015-12-03 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ava can't wait for her first day of Year 3 at Crabtree School. But there is a problem: the Year 6 class from last year are refusing to leave. Now those pesky 11-year-olds are clogging up the whole school, and Ava is going to be stuck in Year 2 forever and ever. Ava and her friends must come up with a plan to get the Year Sixes out, for good.
Download or read book Children s Books in Print 2007 written by and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
