Download or read book The Old Farts Flatulence Log Book written by Schultz and published by . This book was released on 2019-09-28 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate gag gift! Want to laugh your stinky butt off? Makes a great gift for a boy with a love of potty humor to a co-workers white elephant gift exchange! Grab a few copies and always have a gift on hand! Use this book to record all the rump rippling details such as: Date, Time, Place Who the Butt Burper Was Spectator Reactions Sound Level (whisper, thunder and more) Linger Level (how long that gas lasts) Scent Level (merely a nasal annoyance or did people pass out?) Duration (from a snap to honk and more) A place to journal all the nose tingling notes Name your fart, sketch the stench and rank the rank (Rotten eggs, Beans, Skunk, Skunk That Ate Beans and more! Dimensions: 6x9, 118 pages to record your fart facts

Download or read book Old Farts A Spotter s Guide written by Amos Tinker and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2016-10-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This newest title in the wildly popular Spotter's Guide series leads readers through the distinct field marks of flatulence in the latter years of life, from "The Crank" (the fart that chases pesky kids—and everyone else—off the lawn) through "The ReAnimator" (the sudden eruption of post-holiday meal flatulence that brings Great Aunt Gladys back from the brink). Each spread is devoted to a singular fart profile and includes helpful information such as age of onset, key characteristics for identification, and prominent subtypes. Detailed "in situ" illustrations and ten distinct push-button sounds complete this indispensable reference to farting happily and healthfully into the autumn years of life.

Download or read book I m an Old Fart and I Love Fishing written by Old Fart and published by . This book was released on 2019-08-04 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now, old farts can track their fishing expeditions with this journal that includes space to enter location, weather conditions, details about fish caught and much more.

Download or read book The Aging of an Old Fart written by Randal Lee Gritzner and published by . This book was released on 2019-02-11 with total page 264 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are many ways for a young boy to grow into a man. Randal Gritzner took his own unique path. His personality and character were influenced by many people. Many of those people offered good Christian influence, and some offered influence of less positive nature. Randal's parents were strong Christians with exceptional work ethic. Having all four strong Christian grandparents living within one mile offered additional foundation. Randal entered the US Navy with strong convictions that he would never drink alcoholic beverages. He did not live up to those convictions. He became a pot-smoking, beer-drinking man very much the opposite of his intentions. Individuals do come to mind who offered such influence, but Randal made those decisions himself. Nobody else is to blame, but Randal himself. Part of becoming a teacher is learning how to learn. There are many ways to learn, and most universities that offer bachelor degrees in education spend huge amounts of time discussing learning styles. Some people are auditory learners, some are visual learners, and some are tactile-kinesthetic learners. Randal understands and uses all three methods but frequently chose to learn by making mistakes, feeling the pain, and deciding not to feel that pain again. Fortunately for him, he didn't get caught in some of his worst mistakes. That would have changed his life so dramatically that he would have never gotten a job in a room full of teenagers or been loved by the "love of his life." How different would his life be had he never been allowed to teach? How different would his life be had Elvia never taken a second look at him in 1983? She was not looking for an immoral man lacking in integrity. Elvia is a strong Texas woman who doesn't need a man. She has proven to Randal that life with the right person can be incredibly richer than life alone!

Download or read book Old Farts Short Stories about Aging from Romania written by Sorina Vazelina and published by Life. This book was released on 2020-10-16 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of visually diverse, humorous stories about old folks, told through their observations about daily life, musings about the past, and abstrast parables.

Download or read book Fitness for Old Farts written by Tim Plewman and published by Penguin Random House South Africa. This book was released on 2013-05-06 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you’re an Old Fart who needs to do something about your shape, or you’d like to help the Old Fart in your life shape up, this is the perfect book for you. If you’re engrossed by TV ads that claim that taking their pills will make your fat disappear or that strapping on and plugging in a device will shock your abs into shape, you’re an Old Fart. If you believe that by exercising your wallet you can look like that 20-something-year-old body builder in the ad, you’re an Old Fart. If money is no object, as long as getting into shape does not mean getting off the couch and actually exercising, then you are an Old Fart who needs to read this seriously funny book. It was after the death of yet another friend in his 50s due to heart failure, that actor/writer Tim Plewman and a group of his friends formed a ‘Fellowship of Old Farts’ to try to avoid a similar fate. Fitness for Old Farts is the outcome and proof that the programme they followed really does work. With humour and empathy, Tim provides practical and honest help to men over the age of 50 hoping to rediscover good health and a respectable physique, while still enjoying mealtimes. Using himself and his friends as role models on what can be achieved with the correct, progressive gym exercise programmes, as well as healthy food choices in the form of tasty and simple-to-prepare recipes, he goes right to the heart of the matter because he understands the problems, fears and motivations relevant to old farts. Tim Plewman’s Fitness for Old Farts will keep you in stitches.

Download or read book Old Farts Club written by Jh Notebooks and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-06-10 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: OLD FARTS CLUB We all live with them....decrepid, surly, wrinkled...tin need of either plastic surgery or euthenasia?...but we love 'em. Lined pages - room for their inner cumudgeoning. Dead skin wipes off easily. Great funny gift for those approaching their 30s....or 40s or 50s or 60s...you get the picture.

Download or read book Farts A Spotter s Guide written by Crai S. Bower and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2008-10-29 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sure, everyone does it; but everyone tries to hide it a little differently. Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

Download or read book Old MacDonald Heard a Fart written by Derek Landy and published by HarperCollins Children's Books. This book was released on 2017-04-06 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.

Download or read book Old Farts Are Forever written by Lee Lorenz and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2010-04-22 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Legendary New Yorker cartoonist Lee Lorenz showcases his well-seasoned, fan-favorite characters in this one-of-a-kind collection titled Old Farts Are Forever. Lee's colorful old farts have been featured in boardrooms and bedrooms from snowy New England to balmy Boca Raton. They are the disappearing breed of ruthless senior industrialists and a growing legion of hapless victims of modern technology. His old farts face daunting doctors, pets that tyrannize their homes, and spouses who'd rather push them out of a moving car than share the last piece of coffee cake. C'est la vie, for an old fart. Welcome to Lee Lorenz's world. Old Farts Are Forever is the fabled cartoonist's first collection. The millions of age-challenged Americans and the masses of New Yorker cartoon fiends who love Lee won't be disappointed. "I looked in the mirror one day and discovered that after so many years of drawing old farts, I had become one. Old Farts Are Forever is both a celebration of America's favorite minority and an apology to a public I now realize was right all along." --Lee Lorenz

Download or read book The Big Book of Farts written by James Carlisle and published by . This book was released on 2016-11-21 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This wonderfully quirky, laugh out loud book is the PERFECT GIFT for FART lovers of all ages.

Download or read book No One Likes a Fart written by Zoe Foster Blake and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2020-01-14 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.

Download or read book Farts in the Wild written by H. W. Smeldit and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-01-25 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From tiny bubble-popping goldfish toots to thunderously loud elephant gas, learn how to spot the funniest (and smelliest) farts in the animal kingdom! Hilarious tidbits identify the odor, range, frequency, and aftereffects of ten different types of gassy expulsions, while the attached battery-powered fart machine reproduces each emanation with astounding accuracy. This is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

Download or read book An Old Farts Survival Guide written by Ron Foster and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-11-21 with total page 552 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!

Download or read book The Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers Second Big Book of Farty Facts written by M.D. Whalen and published by . This book was released on 2018-03-28 with total page 142 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you know that plants fart? Kids go to jail for farting? That there's a movie award for Best Fart? Do you secretly think farts are not only funny, but fascinating? Increase your Fart IQ and impress your friends and teachers with this gas-powered, illustrated fact-filled follow-up to the best-selling original Big Book of Farty Facts.

Download or read book Whoever Smelt It Dealt It Funny Fart Journal written by Schultz and published by . This book was released on 2019-09-28 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate gag gift! Want to laugh your stinky butt off? Makes a great gift for a boy with a love of potty humor to a co-workers white elephant gift exchange! Grab a few copies and always have a gift on hand! Use this book to record all the rump rippling details such as: Date, Time, Place Who the Butt Burper Was Spectator Reactions Sound Level (whisper, thunder and more) Linger Level (how long that gas lasts) Scent Level (merely a nasal annoyance or did people pass out?) Duration (from a snap to honk and more) A place to journal all the nose tingling notes Name your fart, sketch the stench and rank the rank (Rotten eggs, Beans, Skunk, Skunk That Ate Beans and more! Dimensions: 6x9, 118 pages to record your fart facts

Download or read book Art of Fart written by Dougie Brimson and published by eBook Partnership. This book was released on 2012-01-01 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The most detailed examination of the flatulent arts of modern times.!With subjects ranging from the real reasons why women seem to have such a problem with the call of the colon, through to the delights of stealth farting, no wind related subject remains unexplored in what is quite possibly the most politically incorrect book ever.