Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Essex Girl Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-07-17 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Essex Girl jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Essex Girl Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Essex Girl Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Essex Girl joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Essex Girl jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Essex Girls wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Essex Girl and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Essex Girl brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Essex Girl who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Essex Girls laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book Essex Girls written by Sarah Perry and published by Serpent's Tail. This book was released on 2020-10-01 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Not all Essex girls are party girls. They can be sages, martyrs, leaders. In her neat and provocative little book, Sarah Perry celebrates their courage and vivacity.' Hilary Mantel A defence and celebration of the Essex Girl by the best-selling author of The Essex Serpent Essex Girls are disreputable, disrespectful and disobedient. They speak out of turn, too loudly and too often, in an accent irritating to the ruling classes. Their bodies are hyper-sexualised and irredeemably vulgar. They are given to intricate and voluble squabbling. They do not apologise for any of this. And why should they? In this exhilarating feminist defence of the Essex girl, Sarah Perry re-examines her relationship with her much maligned home county. She summons its most unquiet spirits, from Protestant martyr Rose Allin to the indomitable Abolitionist Anne Knight, sitting them alongside Audre Lorde, Kim Kardashian and Harriet Martineau, and showing us that the Essex girl is not bound by geography. She is a type, representing a very particular kind of female agency, and a very particular kind of disdain: she contains a multitude of women, and it is time to celebrate them.

Download or read book The Essex Joke Book written by Nicholas Knights and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-09-13 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings Essex Forget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen. What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion. What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels. An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says. ‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says. ‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl. The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Girl Scout Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-06-05 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Girl Scout jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Girl Scout Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Girl Scout Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Girl Scout joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Girl Scout jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Girl Scouts wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Girl Scout and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Girl Scout brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Girl Scout who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Girl Scouts laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-07-17 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Cyclist jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Cyclist joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Cyclist jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Cyclists wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Cyclist and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Cyclist brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Cyclist who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Cyclists laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book Barking in Essex written by Clive Exton and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2013-10-25 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Freedom finally beckons for Algie Packer, Essex's most notorious gangster. He's done seven years inside and now he's coming home to collect his reward – £3,672,000 in untraceable notes. But there's something Algie's family have forgotten to mention . . . The Packers are Essex's lovable, but most dysfunctional family. Witness their desperate attempts to cover their tracks before Algie arrives to collect what is rightfully his. Barking In Essex is a riotously funny comedy by Clive Exton, published and produced for the first time in 2013.

Download or read book Little Bee written by Chris Cleave and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-02-16 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Millions of people have read, discussed, debated, cried, and cheered with Little Bee, a Nigerian refugee girl whose violent and courageous journey​ puts a stunning face on the worldwide refugee crisis​. “Little Bee will blow you away.” —The Washington Post The lives of a sixteen-year-old Nigerian orphan and a well-off British woman collide in this page-turning #1 New York Times bestseller, book club favorite, and “affecting story of human triumph” (The New York Times Book Review) from Chris Cleave, author of Gold and Everyone Brave Is Forgiven. We don’t want to tell you too much about this book. It is a truly special story and we don’t want to spoil it. Nevertheless, you need to know something, so we will just say this: It is extremely funny, but the African beach scene is horrific. The story starts there, but the book doesn’t. And it’s what happens afterward that is most important. Once you have read it, you’ll want to tell everyone about it. When you do, please don’t tell them what happens either. The magic is in how it unfolds.

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Mike Young Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2011-11-14 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Blond, Italian, Irish, Blond, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Australian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Mike Young jokes is for you. While this book, appears to be aimed at a specific group, it's not. It's designed to show how jokes are funny regardless of the target—even if it's you.In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Mike Young Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. This book of Mike Young jokes is so unoriginal, it's actually original. And, if you don't burst out laughing (or at least get a smile on your face), from at least one accountant joke in this book, there's something wrong with you.For example:Why does Mike Young wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace.***An Mike Young and Diane Young were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning. Mike Young turned to Diane Young and said: “When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff.”“Why would you want me to do that?,” asked Diane Young.“I figure that you'll eventually remarry, and I don't want some asshole using my stuff,” replied Mike Young.Diane Young said: “What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?”***Why did Mike Young two jackets when he painted his house?The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”***Why does Mike Young laugh three times when he hears a joke? Once when it is told to him, once when it is explained to him, and once when he understands it.

Download or read book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil written by John Berendt and published by Random House. This book was released on 1994-01-13 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A modern classic of true crime, set in a most beguiling Southern city—now in a 30th anniversary edition with a new afterword by the author “Elegant and wicked . . . might be the first true-crime book that makes the reader want to book a bed and breakfast for an extended weekend at the scene of the crime.”—The New York Times Book Review Shots rang out in Savannah’s grandest mansion in the misty, early morning hours of May 2, 1981. Was it murder or self-defense? For nearly a decade, the shooting and its aftermath reverberated throughout this hauntingly beautiful city of moss-hung oaks and shaded squares. In this sharply observed, suspenseful, and witty narrative, John Berendt skillfully interweaves a hugely entertaining first-person account of life in this isolated remnant of the Old South with the unpredictable twists and turns of a landmark murder case. It is a spellbinding story peopled by a gallery of remarkable characters: the well-bred society ladies of the Married Woman’s Card Club; the turbulent young gigolo; the hapless recluse who owns a bottle of poison so powerful it could kill every man, woman, and child in Savannah; the aging and profane Southern belle who is the “soul of pampered self-absorption”; the uproariously funny drag queen; the acerbic and arrogant antiques dealer; the sweet-talking, piano-playing con artist; young people dancing the minuet at the black debutante ball; and Minerva, the voodoo priestess who works her magic in the graveyard at midnight. These and other Savannahians act as a Greek chorus, with Berendt revealing the alliances, hostilities, and intrigues that thrive in a town where everyone knows everyone else. Brilliantly conceived and masterfully written, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is a sublime and seductive reading experience.

Download or read book Dictionary of British Cartoonists and Caricaturists written by Mark Bryant and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2022-01-25 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Originally published in 1994, this dictionary provides a unique 'who’s who' of the major figures in the world of British cartoons and caricatures. It was the first book to encompass the entire field from c.1730 when Hogarth published the first of his 'modern moral pictures' to 1980. In addition to describing the careers and achievements of the artists and the characteristics of their styles, more than 500 entries give details of their publications, their illustrations to books and periodicals, exhibitions of their work, public collections in which their work is represented and literature on or referring to them. More than 150 illustrations are included. This is a comprehensive reference work and will be of interest to social and political historians as well as cartoon and caricature enthusiasts.

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Chemical Engineer Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-06-14 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Chemical Engineer jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Chemical Engineer Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Chemical Engineer Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Chemical Engineer joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Chemical Engineer jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Chemical Engineers wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Chemical Engineer and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Chemical Engineer brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Chemical Engineer who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Chemical Engineers laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English written by Tom Dalzell and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2015-06-26 with total page 864 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Booklist Top of the List Reference Source The heir and successor to Eric Partridge's brilliant magnum opus, The Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English, this two-volume New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English is the definitive record of post WWII slang. Containing over 60,000 entries, this new edition of the authoritative work on slang details the slang and unconventional English of the English-speaking world since 1945, and through the first decade of the new millennium, with the same thorough, intense, and lively scholarship that characterized Partridge's own work. Unique, exciting and, at times, hilariously shocking, key features include: unprecedented coverage of World English, with equal prominence given to American and British English slang, and entries included from Australia, New Zealand, Canada, India, South Africa, Ireland, and the Caribbean emphasis on post-World War II slang and unconventional English published sources given for each entry, often including an early or significant example of the term’s use in print. hundreds of thousands of citations from popular literature, newspapers, magazines, movies, and songs illustrating usage of the headwords dating information for each headword in the tradition of Partridge, commentary on the term’s origins and meaning New to this edition: A new preface noting slang trends of the last five years Over 1,000 new entries from the US, UK and Australia New terms from the language of social networking Many entries now revised to include new dating, new citations from written sources and new glosses The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English is a spectacular resource infused with humour and learning – it’s rude, it’s delightful, and it’s a prize for anyone with a love of language.

Download or read book Unbroken written by Laura Hillenbrand and published by Random House Trade Paperbacks. This book was released on 2014-07-29 with total page 530 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE • Look for special features inside. Join the Random House Reader’s Circle for author chats and more. In boyhood, Louis Zamperini was an incorrigible delinquent. As a teenager, he channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that had carried him to the Berlin Olympics. But when World War II began, the athlete became an airman, embarking on a journey that led to a doomed flight on a May afternoon in 1943. When his Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean, against all odds, Zamperini survived, adrift on a foundering life raft. Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater. Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will. Appearing in paperback for the first time—with twenty arresting new photos and an extensive Q&A with the author—Unbroken is an unforgettable testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit, brought vividly to life by Seabiscuit author Laura Hillenbrand. Hailed as the top nonfiction book of the year by Time magazine • Winner of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for biography and the Indies Choice Adult Nonfiction Book of the Year award “Extraordinarily moving . . . a powerfully drawn survival epic.”—The Wall Street Journal “[A] one-in-a-billion story . . . designed to wrench from self-respecting critics all the blurby adjectives we normally try to avoid: It is amazing, unforgettable, gripping, harrowing, chilling, and inspiring.”—New York “Staggering . . . mesmerizing . . . Hillenbrand’s writing is so ferociously cinematic, the events she describes so incredible, you don’t dare take your eyes off the page.”—People “A meticulous, soaring and beautifully written account of an extraordinary life.”—The Washington Post “Ambitious and powerful . . . a startling narrative and an inspirational book.”—The New York Times Book Review “Magnificent . . . incredible . . . [Hillenbrand] has crafted another masterful blend of sports, history and overcoming terrific odds; this is biography taken to the nth degree, a chronicle of a remarkable life lived through extraordinary times.”—The Dallas Morning News “An astonishing testament to the superhuman power of tenacity.”—Entertainment Weekly “A tale of triumph and redemption . . . astonishingly detailed.”—O: The Oprah Magazine “[A] masterfully told true story . . . nothing less than a marvel.”—Washingtonian “[Hillenbrand tells this] story with cool elegance but at a thrilling sprinter’s pace.”—Time “Hillenbrand [is] one of our best writers of narrative history. You don’t have to be a sports fan or a war-history buff to devour this book—you just have to love great storytelling.”—Rebecca Skloot, author of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

Download or read book Hacker Hoaxer Whistleblower Spy written by Gabriella Coleman and published by Verso Books. This book was released on 2015-10-06 with total page 497 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate book on the worldwide movement of hackers, pranksters, and activists collectively known as Anonymous—by the writer the Huffington Post says “knows all of Anonymous’ deepest, darkest secrets” “A work of anthropology that sometimes echoes a John le Carré novel.” —Wired Half a dozen years ago, anthropologist Gabriella Coleman set out to study the rise of this global phenomenon just as some of its members were turning to political protest and dangerous disruption (before Anonymous shot to fame as a key player in the battles over WikiLeaks, the Arab Spring, and Occupy Wall Street). She ended up becoming so closely connected to Anonymous that the tricky story of her inside–outside status as Anon confidante, interpreter, and erstwhile mouthpiece forms one of the themes of this witty and entirely engrossing book. The narrative brims with details unearthed from within a notoriously mysterious subculture, whose semi-legendary tricksters—such as Topiary, tflow, Anachaos, and Sabu—emerge as complex, diverse, politically and culturally sophisticated people. Propelled by years of chats and encounters with a multitude of hackers, including imprisoned activist Jeremy Hammond and the double agent who helped put him away, Hector Monsegur, Hacker, Hoaxer, Whistleblower, Spy is filled with insights into the meaning of digital activism and little understood facets of culture in the Internet age, including the history of “trolling,” the ethics and metaphysics of hacking, and the origins and manifold meanings of “the lulz.”

Download or read book The Virginian written by Owen Wister and published by The Floating Press. This book was released on 2012-01-01 with total page 485 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This groundbreaking novel is considered by many to be one of the most important early entries in the western genre. Recounting in rich detail the daily life of a foreman on a vast ranch in Wyoming, this gripping tale has sparked imaginations for more than a century, inspiring at least six film and television versions.

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Nets Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-09-20 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Nets' Jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Nets' Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Nets Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Nets' Joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Nets' Jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Nets' Fans wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Nets' Fan and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Nets' Fan brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Nets' Fan who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Nets' Fans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Fireman Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-06-05 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Fireman jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Fireman Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Fireman Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Fireman joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Fireman jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Firemans wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Fireman and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Fireman brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Fireman who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Firemans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***