Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Colts Fan Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-01-05 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Colts' Fan jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Colts' Fan Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Colts' Fan Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Colts' Fan joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Colts' Fan jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Colts' Fan s wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Colts' Fan and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Colts' Fan brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Colts' Fan who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Colts' Fan s laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book The Dynasty written by Jeff Benedict and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-09-07 with total page 592 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The definitive inside story of the New England Patriots dynasty"--

Download or read book League of Denial written by Mark Fainaru-Wada and published by Crown. This book was released on 2014-08-26 with total page 457 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The story of how the NFL, over a period of nearly two decades, denied and sought to cover up mounting evidence of the connection between football and brain damage “League of Denial may turn out to be the most influential sports-related book of our time.”—The Boston Globe “Professional football players do not sustain frequent repetitive blows to the brain on a regular basis.” So concluded the National Football League in a December 2005 scientific paper on concussions in America’s most popular sport. That judgment, implausible even to a casual fan, also contradicted the opinion of a growing cadre of neuroscientists who worked in vain to convince the NFL that it was facing a deadly new scourge: a chronic brain disease that was driving an alarming number of players—including some of the all-time greats—to madness. In League of Denial, award-winning ESPN investigative reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Steve Fainaru tell the story of a public health crisis that emerged from the playing fields of our twenty-first-century pastime. Everyone knows that football is violent and dangerous. But what the players who built the NFL into a $10 billion industry didn’t know—and what the league sought to shield from them—is that no amount of padding could protect the human brain from the force generated by modern football, that the very essence of the game could be exposing these players to brain damage. In a fast-paced narrative that moves between the NFL trenches, America’s research labs, and the boardrooms where the NFL went to war against science, League of Denial examines how the league used its power and resources to attack independent scientists and elevate its own flawed research—a campaign with echoes of Big Tobacco’s fight to deny the connection between smoking and lung cancer. It chronicles the tragic fates of players like Hall of Fame Pittsburgh Steelers center Mike Webster, who was so disturbed at the time of his death he fantasized about shooting NFL executives, and former San Diego Chargers great Junior Seau, whose diseased brain became the target of an unseemly scientific battle between researchers and the NFL. Based on exclusive interviews, previously undisclosed documents, and private emails, this is the story of what the NFL knew and when it knew it—questions at the heart of a crisis that threatens football, from the highest levels all the way down to Pop Warner.

Download or read book When the Colts Belonged to Baltimore written by William Gildea and published by Houghton Mifflin. This book was released on 1994 with total page 311 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Describes 1950s Baltimore, offers profiles of famous Colts players of the era, and recounts the author's relationship with his father

Download or read book Winning From Walk On to Captain in Football and Life written by Gary Brackett and published by Clerisy Press. This book was released on 2012-01-10 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Framed within the frenzy leading up to a Super Bowl, Gary Brackett flashes back to the defining moments and lessons in his journey leading to the threshold of a championship season. With his heart metaphorically on his jersey sleeve, Gary invites the reader inside the world of NFL football and the drama leading up to the biggest game day of the year. Along the way, Gary provides glimpses of real-life heroes, on and off the field, as he recounts the stories in this touching testament to the memory of his mom, dad and brother.

Download or read book Fatso written by Arthur J. Donovan, Jr. and published by Avon Books. This book was released on 1988-10-01 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Don t Know Tough written by Eli Cranor and published by Soho Press. This book was released on 2022-03-22 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WINNER OF THE EDGAR AWARD WINNER OF THE PETER LOVESEY FIRST CRIME NOVEL CONTEST Friday Night Lights gone dark with Southern Gothic; Eli Cranor delivers a powerful noir that will appeal to fans of Wiley Cash and Megan Abbott. In Denton, Arkansas, the fate of the high school football team rests on the shoulders of Billy Lowe, a volatile but talented running back. Billy comes from an extremely troubled home: a trailer park where he is terrorized by his mother’s abusive boyfriend. Billy takes out his anger on the field, but when his savagery crosses a line, he faces suspension. Without Billy Lowe, the Denton Pirates can kiss their playoff bid goodbye. But the head coach, Trent Powers, who just moved from California with his wife and two children for this job, has more than just his paycheck riding on Billy’s bad behavior. As a born-again Christian, Trent feels a divine calling to save Billy—save him from his circumstances, and save his soul. Then Billy’s abuser is found murdered in the Lowe family trailer, and all evidence points toward Billy. Now nothing can stop an explosive chain of violence that could tear the whole town apart on the eve of the playoffs.

Download or read book The Last Enforcer written by Charles Oakley and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-02-01 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this “incredible read on some incredible days and nights in the old association” (Adrian Wojnarowski, ESPN senior NBA insider) Charles Oakley—one of the toughest and most loyal players in NBA history—tells his unfiltered stories about his basketball journey and his relationships with Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Phil Jackson, Pat Riley, James Dolan, Donald Trump, George Floyd, and many others. If you ask a New York Knicks fan about Charles Oakley, you better prepare to hear the love and a favorite story or two. But his individual stats weren’t remarkable, and while he helped power the Knicks to ten consecutive playoffs, he never won a championship. So why does he hold such a special place in the minds, hearts, and memories of NBA players and fans? Because over the course of nineteen years in the league, Oakley was at the center of more unbelievable encounters than Forrest Gump, and nearly as many fights as Mike Tyson. He was the friend you wish you had, and the enemy you wish you’d never made. If any opposing player was crazy enough to start a fight with him, or God forbid one of his teammates, Oakley would end it. “I can’t remember every rebound I grabbed but I do have a story—the true story—of just about every punch and slap on my resume,” he says. In The Last Enforcer, Oakley shares one incredible story after the next—all in his signature “unflinchingly tough, honest, and ultimately endearing” (Harvey Araton, New York Times bestselling author) style—about his life in the paint and beyond, fighting for rebounds and respect. You’ll look back on the era of the 1990s NBA, when tough guys with rugged attitudes, unflinching loyalty, and hard-nosed work ethics were just as important as three-point sharpshooters. You’ll feel like you were on the court, in the room, can’t believe what you just saw, and need to tell everyone you know about it.

Download or read book Sapp Attack written by Warren Sapp and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2012-08-21 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In his no-holds-barred memoir, Sapp Attack!, Warren Sapp, one of the NFL's most hilarious and candid personalities, reveals a side of football most fans have never before seen. Big Man. Big Talent. Big Star. Big Mouth. Big Heart. Big Personality. Big Smile. Big Headlines. Warren Sapp, one of pro football's most dominating defensive players both on and off the field, has a reputation for being bold, brash, knowledgeable, and outspoken. During his All-American career at the University of Miami, 13 seasons as an NFL star, four years on the NFL Network and one very big season on Dancing with the Stars, Sapp has never held back. Now he brings that same fearless attitude to his memoir, a book that will create controversy and headlines; in other words, pure Warren Sapp. Sapp has won every award possible for a defensive player, but it wasn't just his extraordinarily athletic ability that made him a star; it was also his ability to understand the subtleties of the game. He writes about working his way up from the high school gridiron to one of the top college football programs in the country, to the NFL, and reveals how the system actually works—the behind-the-scenes plays that fans rarely get to see. He'll discuss what it was like to face some of the greatest players in NFL history, including Hall of Famers Steve Young and Jerry Rice, both of whom he put out of the game, and Bret Favre, whom he sacked eleven times during his career. In this revealing, hilarious, and must-read book, Sapp offers readers a look inside the life of one of football's biggest stars and shares his often controversial opinions about the state of pro football today and its future.

Download or read book NFL Confidential written by Johnny Anonymous and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-01-05 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Johnny Anonymous. No, that’s not his real name. But he is a real, honest-to-goodness pro football player. A member of the League. A slave, if you will, to the NFL. For the millions of you out there who wouldn’t know what to do on Sundays if there wasn’t football, who can’t imagine life without the crunch of helmets ringing in your ears, or who look forward to the Super Bowl more than your birthday, Johnny Anonymous decided to tell his story. Written during the 2014–2015 season, this is a year in the life of the National Football League. This is a year in the life of a player—not a marquee name, but a guy on the roster—gutting it out through training camp up to the end of the season, wondering every minute if he’s going to get playing time or get cut. Do you want to know how players destroy their bodies and their colons to make weight? Do you wonder what kind of class and racial divides really exist in NFL locker rooms? Do you want to know what NFL players and teams really think about gay athletes or how the League is really dealing with crime and violence against women by its own players? Do you wonder about the psychological warfare between players and coaches on and off the field? About how much time players spend on Tinder or sexting when not on the field? About how star players degrade or humiliate second- and third-string players? What players do about the headaches and memory loss that appear after every single game? This book will tell you all of this and so much more. Johnny Anonymous holds nothing back in this whip-smart commentary that only an insider, and a current player, could bring. Part truth-telling personal narrative, part darkly funny exposé, NFL Confidential gives football fans a look into a world they’d give anything to see, and nonfans a wild ride through the strange, quirky, and sometimes disturbing realities of America’s favorite game. Here is a truly unaffiliated look at the business, guts, and glory of the game, all from the perspective of an underdog who surprises everyone—especially himself. JOHNNY ANONYMOUS is a four-year offensive lineman for the NFL. Under another pseudonym, he’s also a contributor for the comedy powerhouse Funny Or Die. You can pretty much break NFL players down into three categories. Twenty percent do it because they’re true believers. They’re smart enough to do something else if they wanted, and the money is nice and all, but really they just love football. They love it, they live it, they believe in it, it’s their creed. They would be nothing without it. Hell, they’d probably pay the League to play if they had to! These guys are obviously psychotic. Thirty percent of them do it just for the money. So they could do something else—sales, desk jockey, accountant, whatever—but they play football because the money is just so damn good. And it is good. And last of all, 49.99 percent play football because, frankly, it’s the only thing they know how to do. Even if they wanted to do something “normal,” they couldn’t. All they’ve ever done in their lives is play football—it was their way out, either of the hood or the deep woods country. They need football. If football didn’t exist, they’d be homeless, in a gang, or maybe in prison. Then there’s me. I’m part of my own little weird minority, that final 0.01 percent. We’re such a minority, we don’t even count as a category. We’re the professional football players who flat-out hate professional football.

Download or read book Hawk written by Ken Hawk Harrelson and published by Triumph Books (IL). This book was released on 2019-03-26 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Anyone who's tuned in to a White Sox game during the past four decades has heard his calls and catchphrases: "Mercy " "Rack 'em up " "He gone " Ken Harrelson is a man who knows how to talk and is brimming with stories, but even the most dedicated fans haven't heard them all; many of "Hawk's" most memorable tales are simply not suitable for television broadcasts. Now, in his memoir, Harrelson opens up on a wide variety of topics, from his volatile childhood, to life in the major leagues, to stints as a professional golfer and MLB general manager, and of course his storied years in the broadcast booth. He minces no words when reflecting on brawls, blowups, and encounters with figures ranging from Mickey Mantle and Arnold Palmer to Frank Sinatra and Bobby Kennedy. Packed with the enthusiasm and candor audiences have come to expect, Hawk is a no-holds-barred look at a singular life and career.

Download or read book Moneyball The Art of Winning an Unfair Game written by Michael Lewis and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2004-03-17 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Michael Lewis’s instant classic may be “the most influential book on sports ever written” (People), but “you need know absolutely nothing about baseball to appreciate the wit, snap, economy and incisiveness of [Lewis’s] thoughts about it” (Janet Maslin, New York Times). One of GQ's 50 Best Books of Literary Journalism of the 21st Century Just before the 2002 season opens, the Oakland Athletics must relinquish its three most prominent (and expensive) players and is written off by just about everyone—but then comes roaring back to challenge the American League record for consecutive wins. How did one of the poorest teams in baseball win so many games? In a quest to discover the answer, Michael Lewis delivers not only “the single most influential baseball book ever” (Rob Neyer, Slate) but also what “may be the best book ever written on business” (Weekly Standard). Lewis first looks to all the logical places—the front offices of major league teams, the coaches, the minds of brilliant players—but discovers the real jackpot is a cache of numbers?numbers!?collected over the years by a strange brotherhood of amateur baseball enthusiasts: software engineers, statisticians, Wall Street analysts, lawyers, and physics professors. What these numbers prove is that the traditional yardsticks of success for players and teams are fatally flawed. Even the box score misleads us by ignoring the crucial importance of the humble base-on-balls. This information had been around for years, and nobody inside Major League Baseball paid it any mind. And then came Billy Beane, general manager of the Oakland Athletics. He paid attention to those numbers?with the second-lowest payroll in baseball at his disposal he had to?to conduct an astonishing experiment in finding and fielding a team that nobody else wanted. In a narrative full of fabulous characters and brilliant excursions into the unexpected, Michael Lewis shows us how and why the new baseball knowledge works. He also sets up a sly and hilarious morality tale: Big Money, like Goliath, is always supposed to win . . . how can we not cheer for David?

Download or read book Family Huddle written by Peyton Manning and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Peyton and Eli Manning are now NFL superstars, but they are still kids in Family Huddle. Readers of all ages will follow along as Eli and Petyon pile into the car with older brother Cooper for a trip to visit their grandparents. Their dad, former NFL star Archie Manning, isat the wheel. The boys joke around and play football at every opportunity. Readers learn about the famous family and football too, as the boys run fun plays like the buttonhook, quarterback sneak, and hook and ladder.Family and football have always been a big deal in the Manning family. Family Huddle is based on some of the Mannings' memories from their days in Louisiana and Mississippi.

Download or read book Playing with the Boys written by Niamh McKevitt and published by . This book was released on 2015-08-17 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The amazing and inspirational story of talented young international footballer, Niamh McKevitt, who has battled with teachers, coaches and the Football Association for the right to play against, and alongside, boys. Currently the only girl playing organised, FA-affiliated football in an U16 boys team, Niamh has faced relentless sniggering and occasionally outright abuse. But her success as a player is proving them all wrong! An uplifting story that shows girls are just as good as boys (and sometimes much better!) when it comes to football.

Download or read book Watch My Smoke written by Eric Dickerson and published by Haymarket Books. This book was released on 2022-01-18 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: His style was iconic, and vintage ‘80s: aviator goggles, Jheri curls, neck roll, boxy pads. Eric Dickerson is the greatest player in Los Angeles Rams history and the NFL’s single season record holder for most rushing yards. In 2019, Dickerson was named to the National Football League’s 100th Anniversary All-Time Team. With an elegant upright running style that produced some of football’s most-watched highlights, it was said he was so smooth you couldn’t hear his pads clack as he glided past you. But during his Hall of Fame career, his greatness was often overshadowed by his contentious disputes with Rams management about his contract. In the pre-free agency era, tensions over his exploitative contract often overshadowed his accomplishments. What’s his problem? went the familiar refrain from the media. Can’t he just shut up and run? It’s time to reexamine how Eric Dickerson was portrayed. For the first time, he’s telling his story. And he’s not holding anything back.

Download or read book The Jock Joke Book written by Wince, Ewell and published by . This book was released on 1988 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Marketing in the Round written by Gini Dietrich and published by Que Publishing. This book was released on 2012-04-24 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Drive more value from all your marketing and communications channels--together! Demolish your silos and sync all your messaging, strategies, and tactics (really!). Optimize every medium and platform, from iPad and Facebook to TV and direct. This book is a must-read for every senior marketing, communications, and PR decision-maker. It’s not about social media. Or new (or old) media. It’s about results—and there’s only one way to get results. You must finally bite the bullet, tear down your silos, and integrate all your marketing and communications. That’s how you choose the best platforms and messages for each customer. That’s how you make research and metrics work. That’s how you overcome today’s insane levels of complexity and clutter. You’re thinking: Oh, that’s all I need to do? “Just” integrate my whole organization? Are you nuts? No. We’re not. It can be done. This book’s authors have done it. They’ve shown others how to do it. And now they’re going to show you. Step by step. Strategy. Tactics. Research. Metrics. Culture. Social. Mobile. Direct. Broadcast. Print. All of it. With you, the marketing/communications decision-maker, right at the center...right where you belong! Even now, organizational silos prevent most companies from conversing coherently with customers, delivering the right targeted messages, and building real synergies across all their marketing and communications programs. Now, Gini Dietrich and Geoff Livingston show how to finally break down those silos, bridging traditional and newer disciplines to drive more value from all of them. You’ll learn how to create a flexible marketing hub with integrated spokes including sales, PR, advertising, customer service, HR, social media, and the executive team. Then, you’ll learn how to use your hub to speak cohesively with each customer through the tools and platforms that deliver the best results at the lowest cost. Dietrich and Livingston guide you through hands-on strategic planning, illustrating key points with real case studies and offering practical exercises for applying their principles. You’ll learn how to perform baseline analyses of media from iPad apps to radio, optimize resource allocation, change culture to overcome siloed behavior, use measurement to clear away obstacles, and gain more value from every marketing investment you make. Pull it all together--finally! How to successfully integrate your tactics, tools, messages, and teams Better goals, better results: beyond “SMART” to “SMARTER” Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound, evaluate, and reevaluate Better listening: stakeholders, customers, and research that works How to make sure you hear what really matters Four powerful ways to market in the round When to go direct, come from above, use the groundswell, or execute flanking maneuvers