Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Christmas Islander Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-09-28 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Christmas Islander jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Christmas Islander Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Christmas Islander Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Christmas Islander joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Christmas Islander jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Christmas Islanders wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Christmas Islander and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Christmas Islander brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Christmas Islander who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Christmas Islanders laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book Best Kids Christmas Jokes Ever written by Highlights and published by Highlights Press. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ho, ho, ho-larious jokes for kids! This entertaining holiday-themed joke collection will keep kids 6 and up laughing all season long. Curated by the editors at Highlights, Best Kids' Christmas Jokes Ever contains over 500 age-appropriate, hilarious jokes in a variety of types, like riddles, knock-knocks and more. What did the dog say to the Christmas tree? My bark is louder than yours! This humor collection features hundreds of clever jokes as well as hilarious black-and-white cartoons to round out the fun. These wholesome jokes will appeal to kids' sense of humor and are great for sharing at school, play dates or parties. With jokes about Santa, reindeer, Christmas carols and more, kids will amuse themselves—and their friends and family—with this jolly joke book. Joke books encourage kids to read for fun and provide screen-free entertainment for road trips, rainy days and more—a great option for reluctant readers! Plus, sharing jokes with friends and family isn’t just fun; wordplay found in jokes and riddles boosts young readers’ language skills. Telling jokes also helps kids build confidence and social-emotional skills to help them succeed in school.

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Virgin Islander Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-10-02 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Virgin Islander jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Virgin Islander Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Virgin Islander Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Virgin Islander joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Virgin Islander jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Virgin Islanders wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Virgin Islander and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Virgin Islander brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Virgin Islander who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Virgin Islanders laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Cocos Islander Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-09-28 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Cocos Islander jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Cocos Islander Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Cocos Islander Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Cocos Islander joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Cocos Islander jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Cocos Islanders wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Cocos Islander and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Cocos Islander brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Cocos Islander who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Cocos Islanders laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Solomon Islander Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-10-02 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Solomon Islander jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Solomon Islander Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Solomon Islander Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Solomon Islander joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Solomon Islander jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Solomon Islanders wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Solomon Islander and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Solomon Islander brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Solomon Islander who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Solomon Islanders laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Falkland Islander Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-09-28 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Falkland Islander jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Falkland Islander Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Falkland Islander Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Falkland Islander joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Falkland Islander jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Falkland Islanders wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Falkland Islander and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Falkland Islander brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Falkland Islander who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Falkland Islanders laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book All I Got for Christmas was this Lousy Joke Book written by Nick Harris (Joke book compiler) and published by . This book was released on 2017 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Christmas Islanders written by Mark Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2013-05-09 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Christmas Islanders is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Christmas Islanders appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Christmas Islander knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Christmas Islander, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Christmas Islanders. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***

Download or read book Best Christmas Joke Book Ever written by Mist Publishing and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2023-11-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Makes a GREAT stocking stuffer for kids! Enjoy good laughs with the whole family with 113 non-religious winter and holiday themed jokes, including knock-knock jokes. This collection of goofy (sometimes corny) winter and holiday themed jokes is sure to make the whole family laugh. Kids love telling jokes and making people laugh. This little book of 113 jokes, including a knock-knock joke on every page, is sure to keep you smiling. Make some warm memories this year! Best Christmas Jokes Ever - Laugh Out Loud Holiday Fun for Kids features: 32 pages of clean jokes. Fun, non-religious winter and holiday themed jokes, including knock-knock jokes. Great for car trips. An ideal screen-free activity for those holiday car trips. Easy to Read. Great for all reading levels.

Download or read book That Reminds Me Finding the Funny in a Serious World written by Michael Close and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2012-12-01 with total page 220 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Michael Close is an inveterate joke teller whose stories have brought gales of laughter from audiences around the world. For more than twenty years, Michael's friends and colleagues have eagerly awaited a collection of jokes from his enormous repertoire. "That Reminds Me" is that compilation - more than 250 of the best clean (and not so clean) jokes you've ever read. But this is much more than a joke book. Michael shares heartfelt reminiscences of the funny people who have enriched his life, stories of crazy personal experiences, and thoughts on the importance of "finding the funny" in your own life. This is the perfect book for anyone who needs a good laugh. Foreword by Penn Jillette [The jokes in this collection range from squeaky clean to R-rated. Words that you can't use on network television appear occasionally. If such language offends you, please don't purchase this book.]

Download or read book The Black Count written by Tom Reiss and published by Crown. This book was released on 2012-09-18 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WINNER OF THE PULITZER PRIZE FOR BIOGRAPHY • ONE OF ESQUIRE’S BEST BIOGRAPHIES OF ALL TIME General Alex Dumas is a man almost unknown today, yet his story is strikingly familiar—because his son, the novelist Alexandre Dumas, used his larger-than-life feats as inspiration for such classics as The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers. But, hidden behind General Dumas's swashbuckling adventures was an even more incredible secret: he was the son of a black slave—who rose higher in the white world than any man of his race would before our own time. Born in Saint-Domingue (now Haiti), Alex Dumas made his way to Paris, where he rose to command armies at the height of the Revolution—until he met an implacable enemy he could not defeat. The Black Count is simultaneously a riveting adventure story, a lushly textured evocation of 18th-century France, and a window into the modern world’s first multi-racial society. TIME magazine called The Black Count "one of those quintessentially human stories of strength and courage that sheds light on the historical moment that made it possible." But it is also a heartbreaking story of the enduring bonds of love between a father and son.

Download or read book The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids written by Carole Roman and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2019-08-27 with total page 200 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze! Discover more than 800 silly jokes for kids in this hilarious kids joke book Reading jokes can tickle your funny bone AND help boost reading skills. The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids is chock-full of knock-knock jokes, riddles, tongue twisters, and puns you can share with your friends and family for hours and hours of laughing! Funny facts and illustrations—Find some very silly illustrations that match the jokes, and fun trivia about the joke topics—did you know that elephants can't jump? Beginner joke-writing tips—This joke book for kids explains how setups and punchlines works and includes tips and exercises to help you write your own jokes. Take jokes anywhere—Bring this book on road trips, plane trips, and more so you can have fun everywhere you go. Give the gift of laughter—Whether it's a birthday gift, a stocking stuffer, an Easter basket stuffer, or a present for any occasion, this book makes an educational and hilarious gift for every kid who loves to laugh! The perfect joke book for kids of all ages, The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids promises to keep the young readers entertained and amused.

Download or read book The Santa s Big Book of Christmas Tales 500 Novels Stories Poems Carols Legends written by Charles Dickens and published by DigiCat. This book was released on 2023-11-14 with total page 8820 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Within the pages of 'The Santa's Big Book of Christmas Tales: 500+ Novels, Stories, Poems, Carols & Legends' lies a treasure trove of carefully curated works, each contributing to the rich tapestry of Christmas literature across the ages. This anthology boasts an impressive array of literary styles, from the gilded narratives of Charles Dickens to the poignant verses of William Wordsworth, enveloping readers in the diverse and multifaceted celebrations of Christmas. Noteworthy for its inclusivity and breadth, the collection showcases a vast spectrum of emotional and thematic variations on the Yuletide spirit, making it a quintessential compendium for the holiday season. The collection stands out for its embracement of both the legendary, as seen in the fantastical tales of George Macdonald, and the intimately personal, as reflected in Emily Dickinson's delicately wrought poetry, offering a panoramic view of Christmas through the literary lens. The assembled authors, a veritable who's who of literary giants spanning centuries, bring together a harmonious blend of voices that reflect their respective eras, cultural backgrounds, and personal philosophies. From the romantic optimism of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow to the critical social narratives of Charles Dickens, the anthology bridges the gap between past and present, making timeless themes of hope, generosity, and reflection accessible to a contemporary audience. The diversity of literary movements represented—from Romanticism to Realism and beyond—enriches the collection, providing a layered and nuanced exploration of Christmas traditions and their evolution. By delving into 'The Santa's Big Book of Christmas Tales,' readers are afforded an unparalleled opportunity to explore the depth and breadth of Christmas literature. The collection not only serves as a testament to the enduring allure of holiday storytelling but also as an educational journey through the landscapes of literary history. It is an essential addition to the libraries of scholars and enthusiasts alike, inviting a deepened appreciation for the artistic and cultural dimensions of the holiday season. Offering more than just entertainment, this anthology stimulates a dialogue between the classic and the contemporary, the solemn and the celebratory, encouraging readers to revisit and rediscover the enchantment of Christmas through the ages.

Download or read book The Big Book of Christmas Tales written by Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson and published by Good Press. This book was released on 2023-12-20 with total page 8818 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This holiday, we are offering to you our unique Christmas book set of the greatest Christmas novels, magical Christmas tales, legends, most famous carols and the poems dedicated to this one and only holiday: The Origin and Associations of Christmas The Earlier Celebrations of the Festival The Gift of the Magi The Fir Tree The Little Match Girl The Snow Queen Life and Adventures of Santa Claus Christmas-Tree Land The Little City of Hope Peter Pan Little Women The Wonderful Wizard of OZ Little Lord Fauntleroy Christmas with Grandma Elsie Anne of Green Gables The Christmas Angel At the Back of the North Wind Black Beauty The Christmas Child Granny's Wonderful Chair The Romance of a Christmas Card Wind in the Willows The Wonderful Life The Holy Night Little Gretchen and the Wooden Shoe A Letter from Santa Claus The Tale of Peter Rabbit A Christmas Carol The Chimes The Cricket on the Hearth Poems & Carols: Silent Night The Three Kings (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) Christmas Bells (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) Christmas At Sea (Robert Louis Stevenson) Angels from the Realms of Glory (James Montgomery) Christmas in the Olden Time (Sir Walter Scott) Marmion: A Christmas Poem (Sir Walter Scott) Old Santa Claus (Clement Clarke Moore) The Twelve Days of Christmas Minstrels (William Wordsworth) Ring Out, Wild Bells (Alfred Lord Tennyson) Christmas In India (Rudyard Kipling) Hymn On The Morning Of Christ's Nativity (John Milton) A Christmas Carol (Samuel Taylor Coleridge) The Oxen (Thomas Hardy) A Christmas Ghost Story (Thomas Hardy) The Savior Must Have Been A Docile Gentleman (Emily Dickinson) 'Twas just this time, last year, I died (Emily Dickinson) The Magi (William Butler Yeats) The Mahogany Tree (William Makepeace Thackeray)

Download or read book Pretty Good Joke Book written by Garrison Keillor and published by Blackstone Publishing. This book was released on 2021-08-10 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Download or read book We Want Fish Sticks written by Nicholas Hirshon and published by University of Nebraska Press. This book was released on 2018-12-01 with total page 311 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The NHL’s New York Islanders were struggling. After winning four straight Stanley Cups in the early 1980s, the Islanders had suffered an embarrassing sweep by their geographic rivals, the New York Rangers, in the first round of the 1994 playoffs. Hoping for a new start, the Islanders swapped out their distinctive logo, which featured the letters NY and a map of Long Island, for a cartoon fisherman wearing a rain slicker and gripping a hockey stick. The new logo immediately drew comparisons to the mascot for Gorton’s frozen seafood, and opposing fans taunted the team with chants of “We want fish sticks!” During a rebranding process that lasted three torturous seasons, the Islanders unveiled a new mascot, new uniforms, new players, a new coach, and a new owner that were supposed to signal a return to championship glory. Instead, the team and its fans endured a twenty-eight-month span more humiliating than what most franchises witness over twenty-eight years. The Islanders thought they had traded for a star player to inaugurate the fisherman era, but he initially refused to report and sulked until the general manager banished him. Fans beat up the new mascot in the stands. The new coach shoved and spit at players. The Islanders were sold to a supposed billionaire who promised to buy elite players; he turned out to be a con artist and was sent to prison. We Want Fish Sticks examines this era through period sources and interviews with the people who lived it.

Download or read book My Very Best Friend written by Cathy Lamb and published by Kensington Books. This book was released on 2015-07-28 with total page 480 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A poignant novel of two women whose childhood friendship transforms to a journey of discovery—from the acclaimed author of All About Evie. Charlotte Mackintosh is an internationally known bestselling romance writer who has no love life and remains a mystery to her fans. In fact, she has little in her life besides her work, her pampered cats, and her secluded home off the coast of Washington. And then there is her very best friend, Bridget, who lives in Scotland, where Charlotte lived until she was fifteen. Bridget, whom Charlotte hasn’t seen in twenty years, but continues to write to—though the replies have stopped. Hurt by the silence, an opportunity arises to find answers—and maybe much more. Charlotte must finally return to Scotland to sell her late father’s cottage. It was his tragic death when Charlotte was fifteen that began her growing isolation, and the task is fraught with memories. But her plans are slowed when she’s confronted with the beautiful but neglected house, the irresistible garden—and Toran, Bridget’s brother. Capable and kind, Toran has the answers Charlotte seeks. And as she is drawn deeper into the community she thought she’d left behind, Charlotte learns not only more about her dear friend, but about herself—and discovers a new and unexpected path. “[A] poignant, funny and winsome novel . . . Witty, wise and wonderful, My Very Best Friend is another winner for me.”—Book’d Out “An epic story of love and loss . . . satisfying and heartfelt.”—Compass Book Ratings