Download or read book Sorry I Peed on You and Other Heartwarming Letters to Mommy written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2011-03-22 with total page 66 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wouldn't you love to know what your toddler's thinking when he refuses to stop jumping on the couch? Jeremy Greenberg's hilarious and thoughtful letters give parents a glimpse into the minds of their little ones. Finally, we can hear "first person" how a kid really isn't fooled by broccoli buried in cheese, how he'd really appreciate it if he could start going down the slide by himself, or how he'd like to apologize for peeing on you during the two seconds it took for you to reach for a fresh diaper. From Daddy's latest four-letter vocab lessons to the dog's (not the toddler's) repeated milk dribbles on the carpet, this hilarious book answers a question every mother of a toddler wants to know: What in the world are they thinking?!
Download or read book ManWords written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-06-18 with total page 203 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: So your bros are hanging around the grill, shooting the shit while putting back brews from a pony keg. The air's heavy with barbecue sauce, stale belches, and testosterone. And you want to sound manly, like you read Maxim, not GQ. Like you watch football, not gymnastics. You want to use words like "crack-back," "low rider," and "mojo." You need ManWords. If you want to be a high roller, a mac daddy, or a player, you also need this book. And if "taupe," "ruching," and "brow gel" are words you actually know, get this book now. You can probably still be saved.
Download or read book Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2011-10-11 with total page 66 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog—and human—nature.
Download or read book Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-04-02 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This cleverly funny collection of letters provides cat lover a window into the whiskered souls of our favorite feline family members"--Publisher description.
Download or read book Kitty Hearts Doggy Kitty Loves Doggy written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-12-17 with total page 76 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kitty Hearts Doggy (Kitty Loves Doggy) is a sweetly funny collection of photos and relationship profiles from some of the most unlikely couples. With “aw”-inspiring images of cats and dogs cuddling, and tongue-in-ear relationship advice to keep from biting each other’s heads off (sometimes literally), there’s tail-wagging laughter on every page to help us purr-fect our relationships.
Download or read book Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2011-10-11 with total page 69 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A light and lively companion to Sorry I Peed on You, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is a hilarious collection of full-color photos and letters of apologies and suggestions from dogs to the people who love them—no matter what bad thing they’ve done! Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.
Download or read book I Could Pee on This written by Francesco Marciuliano and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-08-03 with total page 111 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical animal book reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable). Ideal for that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with our feline friends.
Download or read book Before We Were Strangers written by Renée Carlino and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-08-18 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M
Download or read book Sorry I Slept on Your Face written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2016-11-08 with total page 65 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What does it mean when your cat bites your toes as hard as she can? When she suffocates you with her body, is she just getting comfortable or is she trying to tell you she needs more space? In Sorry I Slept on Your Face, cats, in all their superiority, break up with their owners through sorry/not sorry letters illustrated with cute, funny, sweet photographs. This book will make you laugh and make you ponder your relationship with your own cat.
Download or read book Sorry I Humped Your Leg written by Jeremy Greenberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2017-06-06 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The bestselling author who brought you Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe and Sorry I Slept on Your Face presents a new collection of hilarious letters from over-enthusiastic, manners-challenged dogs paired with painfully cute photographs. Gronk apologizes for his passion, but he honestly thought humping your leg would bring you closer. Ladybug just wants to help you with your nature photography, so she selflessly alerts you to any nearby skunks. Truman was just trying to help you save face when he licked the carving board at Thanksgiving—the embarrassment of a leaky turkey would surely bring you nothing but shame for years. He does taste the tarragon. Sorry I Humped Your Leg contains letters from well-meaning pooches who go above and beyond for you. From escaping every enclosure you can dream up in order to spend more time together to helpfully licking the toilet bowl clean, these pups aim to please.
Download or read book I Knead My Mommy written by Francesco Marciuliano and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2014-08-05 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just when we all thought things couldn't get any cuter, from the author of the New York Times bestselling I Could Pee on This comes I Knead My Mommy, a book of confessional poems about the triumphs, trials, and daily discoveries of being a kitten. From climbing walls to claiming hearts, these little cats bare all in such instant classics as "And Then You Said 'No,'" "Ode to a Lizard I Didn't Know Is Also a Pet in This House," and "I Will Save You." With adorable photos of the poetic prodigies throughout, this volume gives readers a glimpse into their confused and curious feline minds as they encounter the world around them.
Download or read book I Love Jesus But I Want to Die written by Sarah J. Robinson and published by WaterBrook. This book was released on 2021-05-11 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.
Download or read book Dear Daughter written by Heather B. Armstrong and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-04-03 with total page 166 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of It Sucked and Then I Cried, creator of Dooce.com, and “Queen of the Mommy Bloggers” (The New York Times)—a collection of disarmingly honest, irreverent, and heartwarming letters that Heather wrote to her daughter, Leta, every month for the first seven years of her life. A mother’s love is unconditional: There are quiet snuggles, off-key sing-alongs, un-controllable belly laughs, and daily miracles that only a parent can understand. Heather Armstrong first wrote to her daughter when Leta was just eight weeks old. For the next five years, Heather wrote a letter every month, capturing the ups and downs of motherhood and chronicling the milestones and surprises of their lives together. These are letters that we wish we had written for our own children: disarmingly honest, self-deprecating, heartwarming, and irreverently funny. From the first time Leta holds a rattle; to her first steps; to her first curse word; to her excitement over becoming a big sister, Dear Daughter is a heartfelt and hilarious ode to the wonders of parenthood that will have mothers everywhere nodding, laughing, and wiping away tears. *** Dear Leta, You have changed so much since that first morning you spent with us, a morning that altered my life so drastically that sometimes it still feels like I’m catching my breath. I imagine that I won’t ever stop feeling this way, won’t ever stop having a portion of my brain dedicated to the thought of where you are and what you’re doing, won’t ever be able to escape the constant, nagging hope that you are happy and fulfilled. My pulse is forever close to the surface because of you, because of my responsibility toward you, and I can’t thank you enough for the dimension that this has added to what it means to be alive. Love, Mama
Download or read book Dog Shaming written by Pascale Lemire and published by Crown. This book was released on 2013-09-24 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Based on the runaway web phenomenon (dogshamingdotcom), Dog Shaming features the most hilarious, most shameful, and never-before-seen doggie misdeeds. Our dogs are our best friends. They are always happy to see us. They comfort us in our times of need. They also eat our shoes, stain our carpets, and embarrass us in front of our guests. Dog owners everywhere have found their outlet in Dog Shaming, where they can confess their dogs' biggest (and often grossest!) sins, which turn out to be recognizably universal—complete with snapshots of ridiculously cute but shamed pups who don't seem capable of humping humans, pooping on pillows, or snagging steak straight from a grill. So share in the shaming and laugh through your frustration as Dog Shaming reminds us that unconditional love goes both ways.
Download or read book Between the Lines written by Jodi Picoult and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-06-25 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Told in their separate voices, sixteen-year-old Prince Oliver, who wants to break free of his fairy-tale existence, and fifteen-year-old Delilah, a loner obsessed with Prince Oliver and the book in which he exists, work together to seek his freedom.
Download or read book I Could Chew on This written by Francesco Marciuliano and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2013-07-30 with total page 113 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times bestseller? Oh, you know the dogs weren't going to let the cats get away with that! This canine companion to I Could Pee on This, the beloved volume of poems by cats, I Could Chew on This will have dog lovers laughing out loud. Doggie laureates not only chew on quite a lot of things, they also reveal their creativity, their hidden motives, and their eternal (and sometimes misguided) effervescence through such musings as "I Dropped a Ball," "I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House," and "Can You Smell That?" Accompanied throughout by portraits of the canine poets in all their magnificence, I Could Chew on This is a work of unbridled enthusiasm, insatiable appetite, and, yes, creative genius. Plus, this is a fixed-format version of the book, which looks nearly identical to the print version.
Download or read book All Cats Are Introverts written by Francesco Marciuliano and published by . This book was released on 2019-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the #1 New York Times-bestselling author of I Could Pee on This comes this humorous collection of self-reflective poetry from cats that clearly shows them to be the insightful, often alert, crowd-averse, personally engaging, probably napping-as-we-speak introverts of the animal kingdom.
