Download or read book Shatnerquake written by Jeff Burk and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 83 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After a reality bomb goes off at the first ever ShatnerCon, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.

Download or read book Shatnerquest written by Jeff Burk and published by . This book was released on 2013-04-01 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After the apocalypse, three Star Trek fans and their morbidly obese cat embark on a quest to save their beloved idol, the one and only William Shatner, from the hostile world America has become. But their journey will not be easy, for the wasteland is filled with cannibal cults, Klingon biker gangs, Zombie Borg, and all manner of mutant creatures. And once they arrive at their destination, they discover that William Shatner has been transformed into Shatzilla - a giant 100-story radioactive monster hell-bent on destroying all of Los Angeles. Now instead of saving Shatner from this new apocalyptic world, these three fans must save the world from this new apocalyptic Shatner. If only there was another giant monster who could take him down... From the author who brought you the cult hit "Shatnerquake," comes another Shat-tastic sci-fi comedy that proves once and for all that there actually is something even bigger than William Shatner's ego. And it is... William Shatner.

Download or read book Cripple Wolf written by Jeff Burk and published by . This book was released on 2011-09-01 with total page 152 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Part man. Part wolf. 100% crippled. Welcome to Fetish Flights, the only airline where BDSM flight attendants service your every need. Aboard a red-eye flight from Tokyo, Japan to Portland, Oregon, a disabled Vietnam vet is harboring a secret. Every full moon he turns into a ravenous killing machine. When he transforms mid-flight and slaughters most of the passengers and crew, a Japanese punk band, a limbless superhero, a Muslim terrorist, and two stoner pilots must fight to stay alive until they reach land. In the spirit of Snakes on a Plane and Tokyo Gore Police, Cripple Wolf is a hilarious, perverted, and hyper-violent ride for fans of video games, comic books and trash culture. This collection includes six additional stories: Punk Rock Nursing Home, Adrift with Space Badgers, Cook for Your Life, Just Another Day in the Park, Frosty and the Full Monty, and House of Cats.

Download or read book The Egg Said Nothing written by Caris O'Malley and published by Caris O'Malley. This book was released on 2010 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Manny. He's your average shut-in with a penchant for late night television and looting local fountains for coins. With eight locks on his door and newspapers covering his windows, he's a more than a bit paranoid, too. His wasn't a great life, but it was comfortable-at least it was until the morning he awoke with an egg between his legs. But what might have been a curse becomes a charm as this unlikely event leads him to all night diner, where he finds inedible pie, undrinkable coffee, and the girl of his dreams. But can this unexpected chance at love survive after the egg cracks and time itself turns against him, dead-set on rerouting history and putting a shovel to the face of the one person who could bring real and lasting change to Manny's world?

Download or read book Bucket of Face written by Eric Hendrixson and published by Eric Hendrixson. This book was released on 2010-10 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thirteen years after a police officer searching a suspected child molester's home spilled a vial of silver pollen, America is still struggling with how to recognize its sentient fruit population. Charles is just a normal guy working at a doughnut shop until an apple and a banana shoot each other in a mafia dispute, leaving a briefcase full of foreign currency and a specimen bucket at the corner booth. When Charles turns the wiseguys into doughnuts and steals their luggage, hoping for a better life for himself and his kiwi fruit girlfriend, he finds himself in the middle of a mafia war. As his girlfriend travels the DC metro area, selling off the contents of the bucket, Charles finds he is the target of a seasoned hit-tomato, who happens to be the biggest Michael Jackson fan who ever lived.

Download or read book Muscle Memory written by Steve Lowe and published by Steve Lowe. This book was released on 2010-10 with total page 77 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Billy Gillespie wakes up one morning to discover his junk is gone. In its place is his wife's junk. Billy is now Tina, and Tina is dead. That's because Billy's dead. His lifeless body is still in bed and empty beer bottles and a container of antifreeze litter the kitchen counter. Over the next 24 hours, Billy and an odd assortment of neighbors, all experiencing their own bouts of body switcheroo, try to figure out what happened and why. Can they do it before the Feds find Billy's body? Was it aliens that caused this, or God, or the government? And did Edgar Winter really sleep with his sheep? Pro football Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw has those answers in a story that asks, What Would Kirk Cameron Do?

Download or read book Super Giant Monster Time written by Jeff Burk and published by . This book was released on 2010-03-01 with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Aliens are invading the Earth and their ray guns turn people into violent punk rockers. At the same time, the city is being overtaken by giant monsters tougher than Godzilla and Mothra combined--P. [4] of cover.

Download or read book Satan Burger 15th Anniversary Edition written by Carlton Mellick III and published by Eraserhead Press. This book was released on 2016-07-01 with total page 296 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.

Download or read book Zombies and Shit written by Carlton Mellick III and published by . This book was released on 2010-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boraded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon realize they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there's only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight off the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other."--Page 4 of cover.

Download or read book Archelon Ranch written by Garrett Cook and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-05 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Archelon Ranch is a metafictional thrill ride on a wild gilawalrus, as merciless in its critique of narrative privilege as it is to its characters. Pay your money, take your chance, keep your concept of the self inside the vehicle at all times. The management is not responsible for personae that are lost or mangled."Scott Nicolay, World Fantasy Award Winner, author of Ana Kai TangataJe ne suis pas un chapeau. Je suis un homme... In an overgrown, primeval, jungle-city state, Bernard is a test subject for science experiments. His father and Professor Sagramour have been injecting him with hallucinogenic mud and reality affirming drugs so that one day man will be immune to the insanity inducing, zombifying sentient green mud that is choking the suburbs. But Bernard is beginning to display side effects. Experiencing greater and greater levels of Objectivity cause his consciousness to become one with entities as diverse as pterosaurs and martinis. In the mind of the tyrannosaurus he hears the call of Archelon Ranch, a primal paradise like no other. Will Bernard's unique talents be enough to get him out of the senseless prehistoric cyberpunk city or will dinosaurs, Sagramour's Standardizers and the desire to lose himself in other entities be too much?

Download or read book Who Can Save Us Now written by Owen King and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-07-24 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Twenty-two of today's most talented writers (and comics fans) unite in Who Can Save Us Now?, an anthology featuring brand-new superheroes equipped for the threats and challenges of the twenty-first century -- with a few supervillains thrown in for good measure. Edited and with contributions by Owen King (We're All in This Together) and John McNally (America's Report Card), Who Can Save Us Now? enriches the superhero canon immeasurably. With mutations stranger than the X-Men and with even more baggage than the Hulk, this next generation of superheroes is a far cry from your run-of-the-mill caped crusader. From the image-conscious and not-very-mysterious masked meathead who swoops in and sweeps the tough girl reporter off her feet; to the Meerkat, who overcomes his species' cute and cuddly image to become the resident hero in a small Midwestern city; to the Silverfish, "the creepy superhero," who fights crime while maintaining the slipperiest of identities; to Manna Man, who manipulates the minds of televangelists to serve his own righteous mission, these protectors (and in some cases antagonizers) of the innocent and the virtuous will delight literary enthusiasts and comic fans alike. With stunning illustrations by artist Chris Burnham, Who Can Save Us Now? offers a vibrant, funny, and truly unusual array of characters and their stories.

Download or read book Lint written by Steve Aylett and published by . This book was released on 2007 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jeff Lint was author of some of the strangest & most inventive satirical SF of the 20th century. He transcended genre in classics such as 'Jelly Result' & 'The Stupid Conversation', becoming a cult figure. Aylett follows Lint through his immersion in pulp SF; his disastrous scripts for Star Trek; & his belated success in the 1990s.

Download or read book Time Pimp written by Garrett Cook and published by . This book was released on 2013-10-01 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "One part Doctor Who, one part Hustler Magazine, and the most fun you'll have reading cosmic smut." - Jeff Burk, author of Shatnerquake "A wonderfully ridiculous book . . . delivers imagination balanced by genuinely caring and adept writing." - Kris Saknussemm, author of The Humble Assessment The Time Pimp has been saving the galaxy by getting history's most important figures laid. From Caligula to Teddy Roosevelt, the Time Pimp has rolled up to the scene in his interstellar purple Cadillac and got them some ass. But a new power threatens the future of the Time Pimp - The Morality Front, a prudish force hell-bent on imposing its values on the galaxy. With the aid of the Death Pimp they will stop at nothing to end Free Love across time and space. But the Time Pimp ain't taking no shit from these jive-ass turkeys!

Download or read book Jimmy Plush Teddy Bear Detective written by Garrett Cook and published by . This book was released on 2011-05 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a city ridden with prostitute furries, cannibal cops and warehouse-sized mob bosses, I've got my work cut out for me. My name is Jimmy Plush. I'm a private detective. I'm also a teddy bear. It all started when the original Jimmy Plush entered my life, offering to take my gambling debts away if I agreed to switch bodies with him. But I didn't know that being a three-foot-high plush toy would be such a living hell, especially now that everyone in town wants a piece of me. All I've gotten out of this deal is a faithful Chinese chauffeur, a custom teddybear .45, and a girlfriend who won't take off the fox suit she turns tricks in. Now I've got to keep this town clean and try to track down the real Jimmy Plush without losing my stuffing for good. Only one thing is for sure: Life is hard when you're soft. Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective is a high octane pulp satire. In the tradition of Sam Spade, The Shadow, Dick Tracy, Hellboy and Howard the Duck comes a new kind of hero, a hero that reminds us that the measure of a man is in his guts and his gun.

Download or read book Zombie Punks Fuck Off written by Sam Richard and published by . This book was released on 2018-10-09 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We've been hearing forever that Punk is Dead. And zombie stories are even deader. ZOMBIE PUNKS FUCK OFF is here to show that is bullshit. This antho is loaded with 14 stories of gnawing teeth, shredded entrails, rotting masses, punk as fuck fury, post-punk weirdness, and beautiful decay. Within these pages are a touring Christian Punk band run afoul of a horde of living dead, a group of zombie-infected anarcho-punks staging a revolution in London, Hank William's far-distant great-grandson struggling against the restraints of universal fame, and guitars that gently eat. "This is my dream book, I can't believe it exists!" --Jeff Burk, author of Shatnerquake and The Very Ineffective Haunted House

Download or read book The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction written by Jeff Burk and published by . This book was released on 2010-03 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The premier magazine of the bizarro genre. Issue three features the novella "Re-Mancipator" by Garrett Cook, short fiction by Cody Goodfellow, Monica J. O'Rourke, Bruce Taylor, and James Steele, comics by Andrew Goldfarb and Richard Tingley, poetry by Kevin L. Donihe, articles by Patrick Wensink, a spotlight on author Carlton Mellick III, artist profile on Jase Daniels, reviews, and more!

Download or read book Island of the Super People written by Kevin Shamel and published by . This book was released on 2011-08-01 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Super Friends meets Gorillas in the Mist Four students and their anthropology professor journey to a remote island to study its indigenous population. But this is no ordinary native culture. They're super heroes and villains with flesh costumes and outlandish abilities like self-detonation, musical eyelashes, microwave hands, whalemancing, super boobs, and the power to turn anything into fuzzy pink bunnies. When evil government forces threaten the island, the students and super people must join together to fight. Only through their combined powers can they save themselves from total destruction. Bizarro author Kevin Shamel unleashes a novel of cyber-soldiers, colossal battles and naked super heroes. Excelsior!