Download or read book Sh t My Dad Says written by Justin Halpern and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-05-04 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.

Download or read book I Suck at Girls written by Justin Halpern and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2012-05-15 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance. "Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Download or read book More Shit My Dad Says written by Justin Halpern and published by Boxtree. This book was released on 2013-07-01 with total page 153 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Growing up, every time I saw a men's magazine cover that had a headline about '73 Ways to Please Your Girlfriend', all I could think was 'I'm good with one; just tell me one way to please her. Also, I don't have a girlfriend. Is there an article about that?'" Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): "Just take a day to think about it." This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, to the adventures and misadventures of teenage relationships. Crossing the warmth of The Wonder Years with the candour and observational humour of David Sedaris, this follow-up to the hottest comedy debut of last year is a hilarious, toe-curlingly true book about life, and love.

Download or read book Dad How Do I written by Rob Kenney and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-05-18 with total page 230 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the host of the YouTube channel that went viral—Dad, How Do I?—comes a book that’s part memoir/part inspiration/part DIY. Rob Kenney’s father left him and his seven siblings when he was fourteen years old, and the youngest had to fend for themselves. He wished that he had someone who could teach him the basics—how to tie a tie, jump-start a car, unclog a drain, use tools properly—as well as succeed in life. But he and his siblings had to figure these things out on their own. Now a father himself, Rob decided that he would help people out by providing how-to tips as well as advice—and even throw in some bad dad jokes. He started a YouTube channel for anyone looking for fatherly advice, and in the course of three months, gained a following of nearly 2.5 million subscribers, with millions of views for his how-to and inspirational videos. In this book, Rob shares his story of overcoming a difficult childhood with the strength of faith and family, and offers inspiration and hope. In addition, he provides 50 practical DYI instructions (30 of which will be unique to the book), illustrated with helpful line drawings.

Download or read book Pittsburgh Dad written by Chris Preksta and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2015-04-28 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Pittsburgh Dad debuted on YouTube, creators Chris Preksta and Curt Wootton little suspected their sitcom would receive more than sixteen million views and turn their blue-collar everyman into a nationally known figure. Illustrated with hilarious black-and-white photos, Pittsburgh Dad shares the best of the best, from rants about swimming pool rules to reflections on coaching little league to curmudgeonly movie reviews. With its heavy dose of nostalgia and pitch-perfect sensibility, Pittsburgh Dad will have readers laughing in recognition, especially those who love recent blockbusters like Sh*t My Dad Says and Dad Is Fat.

Download or read book Sh t the Moon Said written by Gerard Powell and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-01-30 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "It was during my eighth or ninth plant medicine journey that I was finally getting a real sense of freedom. I was feeling so elated that I told the moon I had a special request. I explained that this life had been so full of pain for me that I didn't think I could do it all again. So I asked her if in my next life she could make sure that I found the plant medicine as soon as possible. Her reply floored me. She typed, ‘Gerry, that's a request about next time, but it's the same one you used last time.'" Plant medicine? The moon typing? It probably seems incomprehensible. Gerard Armond Powell was a rags-to-riches success story—a member of the 1 percent—but also an extremely unhappy person with multiple addictions. On a fast track to destroying every relationship that ever mattered to him and considering suicide, he was looking for a miracle, a way out. He found it in the form of plant medicine and a shaman who introduced him to the truth of his life, and laid the groundwork for a psycho-spiritual journey that would lead him to reconnect with his soul, heal his addictions, and, finally, achieve a lasting sense of peace and happiness. This experience changed Powell, and convinced him to share the universal truths he learned with as many people as he could, which he does at the acclaimed Rythmia Life Advancement Center in Costa Rica, and now with readers in Sh*t the Moon Said. This mesmerizing story gives readers a blueprint to chart their own course to happiness. The first step is to learn who they really are and the possibilities of what they can still become. Second, they have to achieve a reconnection with their souls. And third, they must heal their hearts. Sh*t the Moon Said provides us with an irreverent way of highlighting our shared unconscious wisdom and its life-changing potential. Powell's candid tale and unlikely journey will help inspire readers to know themselves better, and to find the path to their own greatest redemption.

Download or read book My Fat Dad written by Dawn Lerman and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2015-09-29 with total page 345 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of the New York Times Well Blog series, My Fat Dad Every story and every memory from my childhood is attached to food… Dawn Lerman spent her childhood constantly hungry. She craved good food as her father, 450 pounds at his heaviest, pursued endless fad diets, from Atkins to Pritikin to all sorts of freeze-dried, saccharin-laced concoctions, and insisted the family do the same—even though no one else was overweight. Dawn’s mother, on the other hand, could barely be bothered to eat a can of tuna over the sink. She was too busy ferrying her other daughter to acting auditions and scolding Dawn for cleaning the house (“Whom are you trying to impress?”). It was chaotic and lonely, but Dawn had someone she could turn to: her grandmother Beauty. Those days spent with Beauty, learning to cook, breathing in the scents of fresh dill or sharing the comfort of a warm pot of chicken soup, made it all bearable. Even after Dawn’s father took a prestigious ad job in New York City and moved the family away, Beauty would send a card from Chicago every week—with a recipe, a shopping list, and a twenty-dollar bill. She continued to cultivate Dawn’s love of wholesome food, and ultimately taught her how to make her own way in the world—one recipe at a time. In My Fat Dad, Dawn reflects on her colorful family and culinary-centric upbringing, and how food shaped her connection to her family, her Jewish heritage, and herself. Humorous and compassionate, this memoir is an ode to the incomparable satisfaction that comes with feeding the ones you love.

Download or read book Dad Is Fat written by Jim Gaffigan and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so he's now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.

Download or read book Figuring Shit Out written by Amy Biancolli and published by Behler Publications, LLC. This book was released on 2014-09-29 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.

Download or read book Tweak written by Nic Sheff and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-12-11 with total page 393 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER NOW A MAJOR FILM, STARRING STEVE CARELL AND BAFTA AND GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATED TIMOTHEE CHALAMET ‘It was like being in a car with the gas pedal slammed down to the floor and nothing to do but hold on and pretend to have some semblance of control. But control was something I'd lost a long time ago.’ Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age 11. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer to convince him otherwise. In a voice that is raw and honest, Nic spares no detail in telling us the compelling true story of his relapse and the road to recovery. He paints an extraordinary picture for us of a person at odds with his past, with his family, with his substances, and with himself. Tweak is a raw, harrowing, and ultimately hopeful tale of the road from relapse to recovery and complements his father’s parallel memoir, Beautiful Boy. Praise for Nic Sheff:- ‘Difficult to read and impossible to put down.’Chicago Tribune 'Nic Sheff's wrenching tale is told with electrifying honesty and insight.' Armistead Maupin

Download or read book Dads Be Like written by Trey Kennedy and published by . This book was released on 2018-11-10 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dads and dad jokes have been as much of an inseparable reality as Kardashians and athletes. Dads love trying to be funny. Emphasis on trying. I think it's time for an update. Starting on the Vine app in 2014, I posted my first dad video that went on to surpass 50 million views. I have been creating content online ever since with my dad character prominently featured. It has garnered hundreds of millions of views amongst several dozen different videos posted across social media. Taking the classic corny dad stereotype we all know and love, I "milliennialized" it through video. And now I'm doing it Christmas style through my first book. I hope you like it. If you don't, well then at least recycle it, Ebenezer. So as you turn the page to begin this Christmas edition dad book, may your reading be merry and bright. After all, 'tis the season to be swaggy.

Download or read book Rap Dad written by Juan Vidal and published by Atria Books. This book was released on 2020-03-17 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This timely reflection on male identity in America that explores the intersection of fatherhood, race, and hip-hop culture “is a page-turner…drenched in history and encompasses the energy, fire, and passion that is hip-hop” (D. Watkins, New York Times bestselling author). Just as his music career was taking off, Juan Vidal received life-changing news: he’d soon be a father. Throughout his life, neglectful men were the norm—his own dad struggled with drug addiction and infidelity—a cycle that, inevitably, wrought Vidal with insecurity. At age twenty-six, with barely a grip on life, what lessons could he possibly offer a kid? Determined to alter the course for his child, Vidal did what he’d always done when confronted with life’s challenges—he turned to the counterculture. In Rap Dad, the musician-turned-journalist takes a thoughtful and inventive approach to exploring identity and examining how today’s society views fatherhood. To root out the source of his fears around parenting, Vidal revisits the flash points of his juvenescence, a feat that transports him, a first-generation American born to Colombian parents, back to the drug-fueled streets of 1980s–90s Miami. It’s during those pivotal years that he’s drawn to skateboarding, graffiti, and the music of rebellion: hip-hop. As he looks to the past for answers, he infuses his personal story with rap lyrics and interviews with some of pop culture’s most compelling voices—plenty of whom have proven to be some of society’s best, albeit nontraditional, dads. Along the way, Vidal confronts the unfair stereotypes that taint urban men—especially Black and Latino men. “A heartfelt examination of the damage that wayward fathers can leave in their wake” (The Washington Post), Rap Dad is “rich with symbolism…a poetic chronicle of beats, rhymes, and life” (NPR).

Download or read book Oh Sh t I m Going To Be A Dad written by Dale Chube and published by . This book was released on 2019-11-21 with total page 84 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Oh Sh*t, I'm Going to be a Dad playbook is the modern guide for new dads to help you prepare for fatherhood. This playbook will give you the essential steps you need to take to walk confidently - and consciously - into fatherhood. Dale wrote this as a modern take on fatherhood to empower and educate not only his own son, but also the next generation of men.Fatherhood is about embracing who you are, your strengths and your weaknesses, and helping your family weather whatever storms may come. That's what this playbook is going to do. It's going to prepare you to lead your family when your newborn arrives, and then continue to help your new family grow and thrive.

Download or read book Metal Cowboy written by Joe Kurmaskie and published by Three Rivers Press (CA). This book was released on 2002 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This heartwarming collection of true stories reveals the thrill and the freedom of traveling America's back roads on a bicycle, and the joy of discovering unforgettable characters along the way.From the moment he borrowed his big sister's banana-seat bike and careened down the neighborhood hill at the age of five, Joe Kurmaskie has known the intoxicating freedom and power of the bicycle. In this big-hearted collection of stories, Joe -- dubbed the Metal Cowboy by a blind rancher he encountered one icy morning in Idaho -- tells of his whimsical, wild adventures through the American landscape.

Download or read book Happy Go Lucky written by David Sedaris and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2022-05-31 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: David Sedaris, the “champion storyteller,” (Los Angeles Times) returns with his first new collection of personal essays since the bestselling Calypso Back when restaurant menus were still printed on paper, and wearing a mask—or not—was a decision made mostly on Halloween, David Sedaris spent his time doing normal things. As Happy-Go-Lucky opens, he is learning to shoot guns with his sister, visiting muddy flea markets in Serbia, buying gummy worms to feed to ants, and telling his nonagenarian father wheelchair jokes. But then the pandemic hits, and like so many others, he’s stuck in lockdown, unable to tour and read for audiences, the part of his work he loves most. To cope, he walks for miles through a nearly deserted city, smelling only his own breath. He vacuums his apartment twice a day, fails to hoard anything, and contemplates how sex workers and acupuncturists might be getting by during quarantine. As the world gradually settles into a new reality, Sedaris too finds himself changed. His offer to fix a stranger’s teeth rebuffed, he straightens his own, and ventures into the world with new confidence. Newly orphaned, he considers what it means, in his seventh decade, no longer to be someone’s son. And back on the road, he discovers a battle-scarred America: people weary, storefronts empty or festooned with Help Wanted signs, walls painted with graffiti reflecting the contradictory messages of our time: Eat the Rich. Trump 2024. Black Lives Matter. In Happy-Go-Lucky, David Sedaris once again captures what is most unexpected, hilarious, and poignant about these recent upheavals, personal and public, and expresses in precise language both the misanthropy and desire for connection that drive us all. If we must live in interesting times, there is no one better to chronicle them than the incomparable David Sedaris.

Download or read book Dad written by Mifflin Lowe and published by . This book was released on 2021-05 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dad: The Man, The Myth, The Legend is an epic--and totally unexaggerated--tale for dads everywhere! Heroic, hilarious, and heartwarming, it's the sweet saga of Dad: protector, provider, and child's best friend.

Download or read book Sh t My President Says The Illustrated Tweets of Donald J Trump written by Shannon Wheeler and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2017-08-15 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: FDR had radio. JFK had TV. Trump has Twitter. Eisner-winning cartoonist Shannon Wheeler depicts the "fire and fury" unleashed daily on Twitter by Donald Trump, our "very stable genius" and president. For the first time, these revealing snapshots of the world’s most powerful man are collected, curated, and brought to memorable new life as cartoons. Some people are saying, I don’t know, you tell me, but a lot of people are saying this is the greatest book of the year. This guy, Shannon Wheeler, he draws these cartoons for the New Yorker, MAD, the Onion — he’s very, very, good, okay? Now he’s illustrated the most incredible tweets. Wow! You won’t believe what he does with these tweets. I mean, these tweets changed the world, folks. It’s true! It’s very true. EVERYONE is going to want this book — even the haters and losers (Sad!). In Sh*t My President Says, Donald Trump's most revealing tweets are transformed into razor-sharp cartoons, offering a subversive and illuminating insight into the mind of the most divisive political figure of our time. Whether you love him or hate him, this take on Trump will help you come to grips with the man and his ideas thanks to Wheeler's signature mix of slapstick and sophistication. Nominated for the 2018 Ringo Award for Best Humor Comic.