Download or read book Reader s Digest Dumb Dad Stories written by Editors of Readers Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-04-07 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In this collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. You’re a dumb criminal if…you’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department. During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain

Download or read book Reader s Digest Dumb Dad Jokes written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-05-07 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is your dad funny? Is he funny looking? Just kidding. In the Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 6 to 106. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Most dads get their best material from their families. And that's what we have here: a collection of riddles, jokes, one-liners, hilarious anecdotes and pointed wit that see families for what they truly are--our chief source of amusement! Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many columns in the magazine. This collection is pulled right from that humorous source. "Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world!"

Download or read book The Dumb Book written by Editors of Readers Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-03-18 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The old adage truth is stranger than fiction can also be construed as truth is funnier than fiction and we see no shortage of real people doing and saying dumb things and making us laugh in the process. The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In our first collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. “You’re a dumb criminal if…You’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department.” “During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD “In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA “I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain

Download or read book Reader s Digest Fun Jokes for Funny Kids vol 3 written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 90 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Loaded with knock knock jokes, riddles, one liners, tongue twisters and puns, Fun Jokes for Funny Kids Vol. 3 will give kids hours of new material. They will keep their friends and family rolling in laughter. Perfect for kids 6-12. Knock knock jokes, riddles, tongue twisters, one liners and puns gauranteed to make your kids -and you- laugh out loud. Icon's for Alexa's Favorites denote her hand picked, favorite jokes. Alexa, a real life 4th grader from new York who loves telling jokes, is our resident guest editor!

Download or read book Reader s Digest Laughter is the Best Medicine All Time Favorites written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-04-05 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.

Download or read book Dad s Big Idea written by Jill Goldowsky and published by Reader's Digest Children's Books. This book was released on 2003 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A boy and his friends like to make noise when they get together, but when his father is worried they will wake the baby, he helps them build a tree house to play in.

Download or read book Best of Reader s Digest Vol 3 Celebrating 100 Years written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-10-04 with total page 387 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From heartwarming and humorous stories about community, pets, and family to insightful essays from influential writers and stirring accounts of everyday heroes, The Best of Reader’s Digest will inspire you, amuse you, and always remind you of the good in humanity. This impressive collection contains the very best of 100 years of Reader’s Digest stories. The book is brimming with inspiring tales about family and society, funny takes on human nature, and poignant personal accounts of important cultural events and historical eras. With essays from influential writers and entertainers nestled alongside remarkable tales about everyday heroes, this volume is sure to have something for everyone. You’ll laugh, learn, reflect, and be inspired by the diverse stories, including: *Queens of the Road: An adult daughter reflects upon the humorous, occasionally exasperating exchanges she has with her mother while they “enjoy” long road trips together; she offers tongue-in-cheek and witty advice to those looking to do the same. *I Get a Lot More Than I Give: Entertainer and USO legend Bob Hope gives a touching firsthand account of performing for GIs at Christmastime in Vietnam, describes the valuable life lessons he’s learned in the process, and shares emotional memories of encounters with wounded soldiers. *Fire Lover: Writer Joseph Wambaugh delivers a page-turning account of the investigation into a series of California arsons that occurred in the 1980s. Now-infamous arson investigator John Orr intimately participates in the case, but he’s ultimately revealed to be the arsonist in question. *Why We Forgive: In an intimate essay, revered activist and theologian Desmond Tutu meditates on the value of forgiveness. Recalling the physical and verbal abuse his father inflicted upon his family, Tutu acknowledges that forgiveness can be difficult but reminds readers that “the only way to experience healing and peace is to forgive.” *A Fight for Life at 35,000 Feet: When 35-year-old Theresa de Bara goes into premature labor in the middle of a flight, the crew and passengers have no choice but to jump to action. This dramatic and suspenseful account describes the efforts of two paramedics and a doctor on board to ensure the safety and health of Theresa and her baby. In addition, the book features hilarious jokes and cartoons, classic illustrations and photographs, and true stories from readers like you.

Download or read book Don Quixote U S A written by Richard Powell and published by Bantam Books. This book was released on 1966 with total page 296 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Insignificant Peace Corps man, sent to promote banana culture on a Caribbean island, rises to great heights of public favor despite being trapped between two conflicting factions.

Download or read book Readers Digest Funny Family Jokes written by Editors at Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-10-21 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many humor features. In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. We hope you and your family will take the time to read, share and laugh together. Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.

Download or read book The Official John Wayne Big Book of Dad Jokes written by Jeremy Brown and published by Media Lab Books. This book was released on 2021-04-13 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From giving as good as he got at the Harvard Lampoon to his comedic work in such films and TV shows as Donovan’s Reef, North to Alaska, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, I Love Lucy, Dean Martin Celebrity Roast and The Red Skelton Hour, John Wayne was never shy about exhibiting his wry, knowing sense of humor. It’s this facet of Duke that The Official John Wayne Big Book of Dad Jokes captures. A father of six children himself, Duke was no stranger to making kids crack up (or at least trying to). This book presents those stories of Duke as practical joker as well as willing victim, embedded within more than 400 clever, yet dreadful jokes, stories, riddles and puns, perfect for family members of every age. Some of the jokes are Duke- and Western-themed, but most are simply good, original Dad jokes: some good, some bad, some awful, but all funny. Readers will also find inside nearly three dozen fun photos of Duke exhibiting his good humor for all to see, laughing with his kids or fellow actors on set and behind the scenes, making this book a treasure for fans and fathers alike.

Download or read book Sixteen Thousand Six Hundred Eighty Five Sunrises written by Leah Ambler Hawkins and published by Covenant Books, Inc.. This book was released on 2020-01-09 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sixteen Thousand Six Hundred Eighty-five Sunrises is a collection of humorous episodes concerning the life of John Estall Berry Jr. Most of the time, I was a willing participant in these, as I like to call them "Dad Stories." Dad only lived a short time here on earth, but each day he lived was filled with fun, as well as some not-so-fun teaching moments. Over the years, our family has recounted our memories and smile, cry, or simply laugh ourselves silly. Minus a smidge of poetic license and perhaps just a hint of exaggeration by the author, these stories are as truthfully told as can possibly be.

Download or read book Alive written by Editors of Reader's Digest and published by Reader's Digest. This book was released on 2014-05-06 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Alive! is a heart-stopping collection of survival stories from the archives of Reader’s Digest’s ‘Drama in Real Life’ series. Readers will be on the edge of their seats as they are drawn into the dramatic tales of everyday people suddenly cast into life or death situations. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring readers Alive! Extraordinary Stories of Ordinary People Who Survived Deadly Tornadoes, Avalanches, Shipwrecks and More. In “Super Storm,” Rick Gregory, an off-duty patrolman watches an F3 tornado ravage his small Tennessee town where split-second decisions make the difference between life and death. In “Avalanche!” Luke Edgar, a young father and backcountry snowboarder goes out with a buddy for a fun day on Mt. Rainier and gets buried alive in an avalanche. “Swarm,” tells the story of the Walker family, out for a day trip in the Florida marsh when they get entangled in a yellow-jacket nest. The mother, Debbie, fighting anaphylactic shock must leave her injured husband and children in order to find help as time runs out. Adventure writer Tim Cahill recounts how he barely survives the extreme heat of Death Valley despite his experience as an outdoorsman in “Across the Valley of Fire”; and in “Pacific Cyclone,” Tony Farrington tells the harrowing story of the crews of three sailboats who run into an unimaginable storm in the normally calm South Pacific. Whether out on a planned adventure or simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, the heroes of these stories are connected by their fierce desire to survive against all odds. Wildfires, blizzards, attacks by grizzlies, jet crashes in the jungle, are just some of the conditions people face in these stories of survival. Readers will be on the edge of their seats as they follow adventurers and laymen alike as they face down nature’s fury in the most extreme circumstances, and find strength they didn’t know they had, proving the depth and resilience of the human spirit. As Tim Cahill so elegantly puts it, “Then I knew, really knew, that there is a way to get from one extreme to the other, the peaks and valleys. And there is a beauty so fierce only savage emotions like fear and triumph allow us to see it.”

Download or read book The Best of Reader s Digest written by Editors of Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-04-28 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More than two dozen timeless favorites from the Reader's Digest archives. From everyday heroes to larger-than-life characters, small moments to historic events, the unforgettable stories in Reader's Digest come alive as never before in this keepsake book. Our editors have combed the archives for the narratives—sometimes funny, often poignant, always inspirational—that still strike deep chords today, such as: The gripping tale of a North Carolina woman and her Shepherd, Gandalf, who found a lost Boy Scout in the woods during their first search-and-rescue job The tragic account of the crash of the Columbia Space Shuttle The miracle of the old letter that led to a couple being reunited after nearly 60 years apart The heroic actions of an eighteen-year-old girl who carried a young boy to safety after being pulled out to sea in a riptide The hilarious anecdote about the one exception to humorist Calvin Trillin’s happy childhood, a sickly collie named Chubby Featuring the best of the best fron the present and past, this collection of timeless favorites will thrill your senses, warm your heart, and brighten your day.

Download or read book READER S DIGEST CONDENSED BOOKS VOLUME 2 1985 written by and published by . This book was released on 1985 with total page 594 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Treasury of Joy Inspiration written by Editors of Reader's Digest and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-10-03 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To celebrate 90 years of publishing “reads of lasting interest,” Reader’s Digest offers this editors’ selection of our best stories since our founding in 1922. Chock-full of essays and true tales by some of America’s most famous authors and thought leaders, these great reads inspire and uplift, open the door to new possibilities and connect us emotionally. In this volume, readers will be inspired by stories like these: Author James Michener recounts the mysterious present from a neighbor that changed the course of his life Playwright Neil Simon witnesses his mother experience a moment of pure happiness Pulitzer prize winner Alex Haley shares why he broke down in tears when he first visited the offices of a famous newspaper Former President Dwight Eisenhower urges all American students to complete their college education Novelist Susan Shreve recalls the fierce love that motivated her mother to reach out to the famous shoe designer Salvatore Ferragamo for help Organized around timeless American values—joy, miracles, giving, gratitude, holidays and healing—readers will laugh, cry, cheer, sigh and renew their faith as they enjoy the powerful impact of a well-told story.

Download or read book Laughter Totally is the Best Medicine written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-10-16 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More than 1,000 of the funniest, laugh-out-loud jokes, quips, quotes, anecdotes, and cartoons from Reader’s digest magazine—guaranteed to put laughter in your day. This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with more than 1,000 jokes, anecdotes, funny things kids say, cartoons, quotes, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction. “If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? – Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Why do Pilgrims’ pants fall down? Because their belts are on their hats! Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Overheard in an office: Supervisor to team leader: "So our people aren’t astute enough to understand these comments on the document?" Leader: "What does astute mean?"

Download or read book Dad Is Fat written by Jim Gaffigan and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so he's now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.