Download or read book Pork Belly Tacos with a Side of Anxiety written by Yvonne Castañeda and published by Santa Monica Press. This book was released on 2022-02-22 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Pork Belly Tacos with a Side of Anxiety, Yvonne Castañeda shares vibrant stories of her childhood growing up in Miami as the daughter of humble immigrants from Mexico and Cuba . . . and how she came to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. To help ease her mami’s nervios, Yvonne becomes a perfectionist from a young age, achieving high grades at school and mastering the piano. But as her Cuban family members openly make comments about her awkward desarrollo, or puberty, Yvonne enters a new phase of self-consciousness that begins her obsession with weight. She abandons the piano for the high school cheerleading team, and reinvents herself, becoming both skinny and popular. However, as a first-generation adolescent born in the United States, Yvonne wrestles with the conflict between the cultural norms of her Hispanic/Latino heritage and American societal expectations. Plagued by doubt and low self-esteem, Yvonne begins a vicious cycle of weight gain and loss, as she battles Bulimia Nervosa. Beleaguered by feelings of guilt, shame, and inferiority, she develops anxiety, depression, and a reliance on dangerous coping mechanisms. Ultimately, sage advice from her dear abuela in Guadalajara, Mexico, guides Yvonne to a realization that shifts her perspective of herself and the purpose of her life, providing a foundation for inner peace, and la solución to her past struggles.

Download or read book Writing Children s Books For Dummies written by Lisa Rojany and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2022-04-04 with total page 435 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Create the next very hungry caterpillar, big red dog, or cat in the hat with a hand from this trusted guide In Writing Children’s Books For Dummies, you’ll learn what to write between “Once upon a time . . .” and “The End” as you dive into chapters about getting started writing, how to build great characters, and how to design a dramatic plot. On top of the technical writing advice, you’ll discover how talented illustrators work and how to find an agent. The newest edition of this popular For Dummies title even shows you how to choose a publisher—or self-publish—and how to use social media and other marketing and PR to get the word out about your new masterpiece. In the book, you’ll learn about: The fundamentals of writing for children, including common book formats and genres, and the structure of the children’s book market Creating a spellbinding story with scene description, engaging dialogue, and a child-friendly tone Polishing your story to a radiant shine with careful editing and rewriting Making the choice between a traditional publisher, a hybrid publisher, or self-publishing Using the most-effective marketing and publicity techniques to get your book noticed Perfect for anyone who’s ever dreamed of creating the next Ferdinand the Bull or Grinch, Writing Children’s Books For Dummies is an essential, easy-to-read guide for budding children’s authors everywhere.

Download or read book Spicebox Kitchen written by Linda Shiue and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2021-03-16 with total page 529 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A renowned chef and physician shares her secrets to a healthy life in this cookbook filled with healthy recipes that will fuel and energize your body and mind. "I like to think of a spicebox as the cook's equivalent of a doctor's bag--containing the essential tools to use in the art of cooking. Learning to use spices is the best way to add interest and vibrancy to simple home cooking."—from the Introduction In her first cookbook, chef and physician Linda Shiue puts the phrase "let food be thy medicine" to the test. With 175 vegetarian and pescatarian recipes curated from her own kitchen, Dr. Shiue takes you on a journey of vibrant, fresh flavors through a range of spices from amchar masala to za'atar. With a comprehensive "Healthy Cooking 101" chapter, lists of the healthiest ingredients out there, and tips for prevention, Spicebox Kitchen is a culinary wellness trip you can take in your own kitchen.

Download or read book Flowing with the Pearl River Autobiography of a Red China Girl written by Amy Chan Zhou and published by . This book was released on 2022-02-22 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Flowing with the Pearl River: Autobiography of a Red China Girl is a young adult memoir about Amy Chan Zhou and her family's struggles to survive in China from the time the Communists took power in 1949 through the end of the Mao era in 1976. Narrated through the eyes and voice of Chan Zhou, Flowing with the Pearl River is an insightful, accurate, and in-depth look at the devastating impact the many political campaigns and revolutions had on multiple generations of her family. As the Communists take control of the country in 1949, we follow the harrowing experiences of Chan Zhou's great-grandparents, grandparents, father, and mother during the branding of landlords, business owners, and scholars as "bad elements" and "class enemies." The author and her family members were among those whose lives were shattered and who suffered from the political campaigns and revolutions. The struggles continue as the Communist political leaders pit people against people and breed fear and distrust by coercing informants to turn on innocent citizens, forcing re-education in labor camps and instigating the Cultural Revolution. Chan Zhou's personal observations and emotional experiences are at the heart of the story from her childhood and middle school years in China to her father's escape to Hong Kong and Chan Zhou's eventual immigration to the United States at age 14. Chan Zhou's childhood stories as a wild child growing up in the countryside with primitive conditions are marked by the family's everyday struggle to obtain food, the hardship that resulted when Chan Zhou's school became a child labor camp, and the horror of attending "public denouncing" meetings and witnessing relatives being tortured on a stage. However, Chan Zhou's childhood also featured rural beauty and the simple joys of raising farm animals or catching fish in a local river. When Chan Zhou sells vegetables in the black market, she is accused of being a "little capitalist trader"; the death of Mao ultimately saves her from being sent to a detention center, and her family's destiny is forever altered by Deng Xiaoping's reform that allowed Chan Zhou's family to reunite in Hong Kong and their subsequent immigration to the USA. A blend of Wild Swans and The Red Scarf Girl, Flowing with the Pearl River presents rich and detailed depictions of one family's painful experiences during Communism and the Cultural Revolution in China. It is a comprehensive and vividly accurate portrayal of the impact of those events on Chinese culture and society that remains largely unknown to modern readers and risks being forgotten. Flowing with the Pearl River aims to ensure that this history and the memories of millions of families similar to Chan Zhou's remain alive and remembered for eternity.

Download or read book The New Brooklyn Cookbook written by Melissa Vaughan and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-10-05 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compendium of delicious, signature recipes from thirty-one bold Brooklyn restaurants that you can cook up in your own kitchen. Filled with mouthwatering recipes, beautiful photographs, and scenes from some of the most vibrant restaurants in America today, The New Brooklyn Cookbook celebrates the wave of culinary energy that has transformed this thriving borough and infused its kitchens and dining rooms with passion, vigor, and big flavors. Starring the trail-blazing chefs and entrepreneurs who made it all happen, this gorgeous book helps readers recreate the signature dishes of Brooklyn in the comfort of their own kitchens. With enthusiasm and insight, husband-and-wife duo Melissa and Brendan Vaughan highlight the “new” tastes of Brooklyn, including: Steak and Eggs Korean Style (The Good Fork) Cast-Iron Chicken with Caramelized Shallots and Sherry Pan Sauce (Vinegar Hill House) Seared Swordfish with Sautéed Grape Tomatoes, Fresh Corn and Kohlrabi Salad, and Avocado Aioli (Rose Water) Beef Sauerbraten with Red Cabbage and Pretzel Dumplings (Prime Meats) Doug’s Pecan Pie Sundae (Buttermilk Channel) Hoppy American Brown Ale—Home Brew Version (Sixpoint Craft Ales brewery) The Vaughans also profile some of Brooklyn’s best food makers and purveyors, from cheesemakers and picklers to chocolatiers and bakers, giving readers an inside look at the ingredients behind their favorite restaurant dishes and the food culture that supports their creation. Featured Restaurants: Al Di Là; The Grocery; Saul; Rose Water; Convivium Osteria; Locanda Vini e Olii; DuMont; Aliseo Osteria del Borgo; Marlow & Sons; Franny’s; iCi; Applewood; Egg; Northeast Kingdom; The Good Fork; Dressler; The Farm on Adderley; Flatbush Farm; Palo Santo; Lunetta; Beer Table; James; The General Greene; Five Leaves; Char No. 4; No. 7; Buttermilk Channel; Roberta’s; Vinegar Hill House; Prime Meats; The Vanderbilt

Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

Download or read book The Dude Diet written by Serena Wolf and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-10-25 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From chef and creator of the popular food blog Domesticate-Me.com, 125 outrageously delicious yet deceptively healthy recipes for dudes (and the people who love them), accompanied by beautiful full-color photography. Dudes. So well intentioned when it comes to healthy eating, even as they fail epically in execution—inhaling a "salad" topped with fried chicken fingers or ordering their Italian hero on a whole wheat wrap (that makes it healthy, right?). There are several issues with men going on diets. First, they seem to be misinformed about basic nutrition. They are also, generally, not excited about eating "health food." You can lead a dude to the salad bar, but you can’t make him choose lettuce. Enter Serena Wolf—chef, food blogger, and caretaker of a dude with some less than ideal eating habits. As a labor of love, Serena began creating healthier versions of her boyfriend’s favorite foods and posting them on her blog, where she received an overwhelming response from men and women alike. Now, in The Dude Diet, Serena shares more than 125 droolworthy recipes that prove that meals made with nutrient-dense whole foods can elicit the same excitement and satisfaction associated with pizza or Chinese take-out. The Dude Diet also demystifies the basics of nutrition, empowering men to make better decisions whether they’re eating out or cooking at home. Better still, each recipe is 100% idiot-proof and requires only easily accessible ingredients and tools. With categories like Game Day Eats, On the Grill, Serious Salads, and Take Out Favorites, The Dude Diet will arm dudes and those who love them with the knowledge they need to lead healthier, happier lives—with flattened beer bellies and fewer meat sweats. The Dude Diet includes 102 full-color photographs.

Download or read book Nancy Clark s Sports Nutrition Guidebook written by Nancy Clark and published by Human Kinetics. This book was released on 2013-10-11 with total page 520 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Boost your energy, manage stress, build muscle, lose fat, and improve your performance. The best-selling nutrition guide is now better than ever! Nancy Clark’s Sports Nutrition Guidebook will help you make the right choices in cafes, convenience stores, drive-throughs, and your own kitchen. Whether you’re preparing for competition or simply eating for an active lifestyle, let this leading sports nutritionist show you how to get maximum benefit from the foods you choose and the meals you make. You’ll learn what to eat before and during exercise and events, how to refuel for optimal recovery, and how to put into use Clark’s family-friendly recipes and meal plans. You’ll find the latest research and recommendations on supplements, energy drinks, organic foods, fluid intake, popular diets, carbohydrate and protein intake, training, competition, fat reduction, and muscle gain. Whether you’re seeking advice on getting energized for exercise or improving your health and performance, Nancy Clark’s Sports Nutrition Guidebook has the answers you can trust.

Download or read book Love Other Disasters written by Anita Kelly and published by Forever. This book was released on 2022-01-18 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first openly nonbinary contestant on America’s favorite cooking show falls for their clumsy competitor in this delicious romantic comedy debut that USA Today hailed as “an essential read.” Recently divorced and on the verge of bankruptcy, Dahlia Woodson is ready to reinvent herself on the popular reality competition show Chef’s Special. Too bad the first memorable move she makes is falling flat on her face, sending fish tacos flying—not quite the fresh start she was hoping for. Still, she's focused on winning, until she meets someone she might want a future with more than she needs the prize money. After announcing their pronouns on national television, London Parker has enough on their mind without worrying about the klutzy competitor stationed in front of them. They’re there to prove the trolls—including a fellow contestant and their dad—wrong, and falling in love was never part of the plan. As London and Dahlia get closer, reality starts to fall away. Goodbye, guilt about divorce, anxiety about uncertain futures, and stress from transphobia. Hello, hilarious shenanigans on set, wedding crashing, and spontaneous dips into the Pacific. But as the finale draws near, Dahlia and London’s steamy relationship starts to feel the heat both in and outside the kitchen—and they must figure out if they have the right ingredients for a happily ever after. Booklist's Best Romance Debuts of the Year Women's Health's Best Romance Novels of the Year Bookpage's Best Romance Novels of the Year

Download or read book Solutions and Other Problems written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 528 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER For the first time in seven years, Allie Brosh—beloved author and artist of the extraordinary #1 New York Times bestseller Hyperbole and a Half—returns with a new collection of comedic, autobiographical, and illustrated essays. Solutions and Other Problems includes humorous stories from Allie Brosh’s childhood; the adventures of her very bad animals; merciless dissection of her own character flaws; incisive essays on grief, loneliness, and powerlessness; as well as reflections on the absurdity of modern life. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features all-new material with more than 1,600 pieces of art. Solutions and Other Problems marks the return of a beloved American humorist who has “the observational skills of a scientist, the creativity of an artist, and the wit of a comedian” (Bill Gates). Praise for Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half: “Imagine if David Sedaris could draw….Enchanting.” —People “One of the best things I’ve ever read in my life.” —Marc Maron “Will make you laugh until you sob, even when Brosh describes her struggle with depression.” —Entertainment Weekly “I would gladly pay to sit in a room full of people reading this book, merely to share the laughter.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer “In a culture that encourages people to carry mental illness as a secret burden….Brosh’s bracing honesty is a gift.” —Chicago Tribune

Download or read book Journey Through Trauma written by Gretchen L. Schmelzer, PhD and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2018-02-06 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For survivors of PTSD and repeated, relational trauma -- and the people who love them. Gretchen Schmelzer watched too many people quit during treatment for trauma recovery. They found it too difficult or too frightening or just decided that for them it was too late. But as a therapist and trauma survivor herself, Dr. Schmelzer wants us to know that it is never too late to heal from trauma, whether it is the suffering caused within an abusive relationship or PTSD resulting from combat. Sometimes what feels like a big setback is actually an unexpected difficult step forward. So she wrote Journey Through Trauma specifically for survivors--to help them understand the terrain of the healing process and stay on the path. There are three basic principles that every trauma survivor should know: Healing is possible. It requires courage. And it cannot be done alone. Traumas that happen more than once--child abuse, sexual abuse, domestic violence, gang violence, even war--are all relational traumas. They happened inside a relationship and therefore must be healed inside a relationship, whether that relationship is with a therapist or within a group. Journey Through Trauma gives us a map to help guide us through that healing process, see where the hard parts show up, and persevere in the process of getting well. We learn the five phases that every survivor must negotiate along the way and come to understand that since the cycle of healing is not linear, circling back around to a previous stage does not mean defeat - it actually means progress as well as facing new challenges. Authoritative and accessible, Journey Through Trauma provides support for survivors and their loved ones through one of the most challenging but necessary processes of healing that anyone can face.

Download or read book The Only Road written by Alexandra Diaz and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-10-04 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: PURA BELPRÉ HONOR BOOK ALA NOTABLE BOOK “An important, must-have addition to the growing body of literature with immigrant themes.” —School Library Journal (starred review) Twelve-year-old Jaime makes the treacherous and life-changing journey from his home in Guatemala to live with his older brother in the United States in this “powerful and timely” (Booklist, starred review) middle grade novel. Jaime is sitting on his bed drawing when he hears a scream. Instantly, he knows: Miguel, his cousin and best friend, is dead. Everyone in Jaime’s small town in Guatemala knows someone who has been killed by the Alphas, a powerful gang that’s known for violence and drug trafficking. Anyone who refuses to work for them is hurt or killed—like Miguel. With Miguel gone, Jaime fears that he is next. There’s only one choice: accompanied by his cousin Ángela, Jaime must flee his home to live with his older brother in New Mexico. Inspired by true events, The Only Road is an individual story of a boy who feels that leaving his home and risking everything is his only chance for a better life. The story is “told with heartbreaking honesty,” Booklist raved, and “will bring readers face to face with the harsh realities immigrants go through in the hope of finding a better, safer life, and it will likely cause them to reflect on what it means to be human.”

Download or read book Low Slow Cooking written by Robyn Almodovar and published by Page Street Publishing. This book was released on 2020-01-14 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There’s No Shortcut to Great Flavor Savor the experience of preparing a well-marinated, slow-simmered roast with Chef Robyn Almodovar, winner of both Chopped and Cutthroat Kitchen. The techniques she’s perfected help you master the art of slow cooking to build depth of flavor in every bold, satisfying dish. Her innovative recipes reimagine tried-and-true classics as new, stunning meals including: • Not Your Ordinary Pot Roast • Nothing Baby about These Ribs • Pork Belly This • Beefed Up Bourguignon • 2-Steppin’ Spare Ribs • Dutch Oven Bread • Lamb Shank with Orange Gremolata • Cassoulet, My Way • Piggy Mac Robyn has found a way to transform cooking from a chore into a joy with showstopping dishes that only call for simple preparation and hands-off cooking so that every roast, shank and chop turns out mouthwateringly tender. Each dish in this book develops a symphony of flavors sure to satisfy any palate.

Download or read book Every Grain of Rice written by Fuchsia Dunlop and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2019-11-14 with total page 357 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fuchsia Dunlop trained as a chef at China's leading cooking school and is internationally renowned for her delicious recipes and brilliant writing about Chinese food. Every Grain of Rice is inspired by the healthy and vibrant home cooking of southern China, in which meat and fish are enjoyed in moderation, but vegetables play the starring role. Try your hand at blanched choy sum with sizzling oil, Hangzhou broad beans with ham, pock-marked old woman's beancurd or steamed chicken with shiitake mushrooms, or, if you've ever in need of a quick fix, Fuchsia's emergency late-night noodles. Many of the recipes require few ingredients and are startlingly easy to make. The book includes a comprehensive introduction to the key seasonings and techniques of the Chinese kitchen, as well as the 'magic ingredients' that can transform modest vegetarian ingredients into wonderful delicacies. With stunning photography and clear instructions, this is an essential volume for beginners and connoisseurs alike.

Download or read book Poppy Cooks written by Poppy O'Toole and published by Appetite by Random House. This book was released on 2021-11-09 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "[Poppy’s] recipes are unshowy, unfussy (for all her Michelin training) and simply make you want to go skipping into the kitchen to cook."—Nigella Lawson, Nigella.com With Chef and TikTok sensation Poppy O’Toole you'll learn the basics, up your cooking game, with delicious results every time. This is a cookbook with no judgement. Together, we’ll learn how to make incredible food at home. We’ll start with the basics: 12 core recipes (or go-to skills) that everyone needs to know, like how to make a pasta sauce, roast a chicken or make a killer salad dressing. Then we’ll use these core skills as a base for delicious and adaptable recipes that will up your cooking game—the Staple, the Brunch, the Potato Hero (of course they make an appearance) and the Fancy AF. So, once you’ve nailed that classic tomato sauce (which I promise will become the new go-to in your kitchen), you can stir it through pasta, or bake it with eggs for the perfect Shakshuka and, before you know it, you’ll be getting real fancy and making a show-stopping Chicken Parmigiana to impress your friends. I'll walk you through 75 delicious recipes, including: White Sauce: think Mac and Cheese and Bacon-y Garlicky Gratin. Dough: easy flatbreads for Halloumi Avo Breads and Salmon Tikka wraps. Emulsions: Chicken Caesar Salad with homemade mayo and next level Steak Béarnaise with Hollandaise and Crunchy Roast Chips. Meringue: from Eton Mess Pancakes through to Simply the Zest Lemon Meringue Pie Whether you’re completely new to the kitchen or looking to elevate your basics with clever tricks, my step-by-step guidance will help you nail delicious food every time. As a Michelin-trained chef with over ten years’ experience in professional kitchens, I’ve done the years of training so you don’t have to. It’s okay to make a few mistakes along the way, and together, we'll help you fix them and achieve incredible results at home. I am passionate about the importance of great food at home, every day—it’s what we all deserve. This is not just the food you want. It’s the food you need.

Download or read book Methland written by Nick Reding and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2009-07-01 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times Bestseller Winner of the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize Winner of the Hillman Prize for Book Journalism Named a best book of the year by: the Los Angeles Times the San Francisco Chronicle the Saint Louis Post-Dispatch the Chicago Tribune the Seattle Times "A stunning look at a problem that has dire consequences for our country.”-New York Post The dramatic story of Methamphetamine as it comes to the American Heartland-a timely, moving, account of one community's attempt to confront the epidemic and see their way to a brighter future. Crystal methamphetamine is widely considered to be the most dangerous drug in the world, and nowhere is that more true than in the small towns of the American heartland. Methland is the story of the drug as it infiltrates the community of Oelwein, Iowa (pop. 6,159), a once-thriving farming and railroad community. Tracing the connections between the lives touched by meth and the global forces that have set the stage for the epidemic, Methland offers a vital and unique perspective on a pressing contemporary tragedy. Oelwein, Iowa is like thousand of other small towns across the county. It has been left in the dust by the consolidation of the agricultural industry, a depressed local economy and an out-migration of people. If this wasn't enough to deal with, an incredibly cheap, long-lasting, and highly addictive drug has come to town, touching virtually everyone's lives. Journalist Nick Reding reported this story over a period of four years, and he brings us into the heart of the town through an ensemble cast of intimately drawn characters, including: Clay Hallburg, the town doctor, who fights meth even as he struggles with his own alcoholism; Nathan Lein, the town prosecutor, whose case load is filled almost exclusively with meth-related crime, and Jeff Rohrick, who is still trying to kick a meth habit after four years. Methland is a portrait of a community under siege, of the lives the drug has devastated, and of the heroes who continue to fight the war. It will appeal to readers of David Sheff's bestselling Beautiful Boy, and serve as inspiration for those who believe in the power of everyday people to change their world for the better.

Download or read book The Onion Book of Known Knowledge written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.