Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 607 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

Download or read book Python One Liners written by Christian Mayer and published by No Starch Press. This book was released on 2020-05-12 with total page 217 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Python programmers will improve their computer science skills with these useful one-liners. Python One-Liners will teach you how to read and write "one-liners": concise statements of useful functionality packed into a single line of code. You'll learn how to systematically unpack and understand any line of Python code, and write eloquent, powerfully compressed Python like an expert. The book's five chapters cover tips and tricks, regular expressions, machine learning, core data science topics, and useful algorithms. Detailed explanations of one-liners introduce key computer science concepts and boost your coding and analytical skills. You'll learn about advanced Python features such as list comprehension, slicing, lambda functions, regular expressions, map and reduce functions, and slice assignments. You'll also learn how to: • Leverage data structures to solve real-world problems, like using Boolean indexing to find cities with above-average pollution • Use NumPy basics such as array, shape, axis, type, broadcasting, advanced indexing, slicing, sorting, searching, aggregating, and statistics • Calculate basic statistics of multidimensional data arrays and the K-Means algorithms for unsupervised learning • Create more advanced regular expressions using grouping and named groups, negative lookaheads, escaped characters, whitespaces, character sets (and negative characters sets), and greedy/nongreedy operators • Understand a wide range of computer science topics, including anagrams, palindromes, supersets, permutations, factorials, prime numbers, Fibonacci numbers, obfuscation, searching, and algorithmic sorting By the end of the book, you'll know how to write Python at its most refined, and create concise, beautiful pieces of "Python art" in merely a single line.

Download or read book 5 000 Great One Liners written by Grant Tucker and published by Biteback Publishing. This book was released on 2012-09-25 with total page 355 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

Download or read book Perl One Liners written by Peteris Krumins and published by No Starch Press. This book was released on 2013-11-13 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Part of the fun of programming in Perl lies in tackling tedious tasks with short, efficient, and reusable code. Often, the perfect tool is the one-liner, a small but powerful program that fits in one line of code and does one thing really well. In Perl One-Liners, author and impatient hacker Peteris Krumins takes you through more than 100 compelling one-liners that do all sorts of handy things, such as manipulate line spacing, tally column values in a table, and get a list of users on a system. This cookbook of useful, customizable, and fun scripts will even help hone your Perl coding skills, as Krumins dissects the code to give you a deeper understanding of the language. You'll find one-liners that: * Encode, decode, and convert strings * Generate random passwords * Calculate sums, factorials, and the mathematical constants π and e * Add or remove spaces * Number lines in a file * Print lines that match a specific pattern * Check to see if a number is prime with a regular expression * Convert IP address to decimal form * Replace one string with another And many more! Save time and sharpen your coding skills as you learn to conquer those pesky tasks in a few precisely placed keystrokes with Perl One-Liners.

Download or read book Pundamentalist written by Gary Delaney and published by Headline. This book was released on 2020-10-01 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

Download or read book The Little Guide to Friends written by Hippo! Orange and published by Little Books. This book was released on 2020-10 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The One We All Love to Remember. Friendsmay have stopped filming in 2004 but Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey have never left our screens or our hearts. Now let their words comfort and cajole you through the tricky, sticky and downright funny times in life. The One About Their Best One-Liners: The Little Guide to Friendscontains 170 quotes straight from the mouths of Manhattan's most famous sextet. They'll be there for you as you tackle some of the biggest topics in our existences: life, work, dating, relationships, self-knowledge, sarcasm and... food. Could it BE any easier to get life advice from your favourite Friendscharacters? 'I'm gonna go get one of those job things.' Rachel faces reality after cutting financial ties with her dad. As seen on BuzzFeed.com, 16 December 2015, by Krystie Lee Yandoli. 'I'm Chandler and I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.' Chandler fumbles introducing himself to Monica's ex, Richard. As seen on BuzzFeed.com, 22 September 2014, by Ariana Lange. 'You hung up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends.' Joey almost rumbles Rachel trying to hook up with the cute delivery guy. As seen on USAToday.com, 18 September 2019, by USA Today staff.

Download or read book Gagged and Bound written by Nick Jones and published by Full Media Ltd. This book was released on 2015-06-15 with total page 133 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.

Download or read book 5 000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One Liners written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

Download or read book The Book of Witty One Liners written by Manhardeep Singh and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2020-07-23 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Would you like to be the smartest person in the room? These 1000 one-liners will make you the wittiest one people have ever met. The Book of Witty One-liners can: * Help you break the ice in any situation * Make you look the sharpest * Project you as the funniest * Attract people through your continuous one-liners * Give you a happy time reading them The Book of Witty One-liners is the p(h)unniest, wittiest, and the most hilarious compilation of one-liners that is sure to get your gut-busting. If you like to laugh your way to hilarity, have endless one-liners up your sleeve, then you'll love Manhardeep Singh's one-liners book. Buy The Book of Witty One-liners and have a hearty laugh!

Download or read book One Liners written by Ram Dass and published by Harmony. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ram Dass has always been a master of the one-liner. Here is the nitty-gritty by the author of Be Here Now—more than 200 penetrating observations and pithy spiritual instructions on such topics as How It All Is, Love and Devotion, Suffering, Aging, Planes of Consciousness, Death and Dying, Service and Compassion, Psychedelics, Social Awareness, and Liberation. “This book is a kind of spiritual brandy, a distillation of the lectures I’ve given over the course of the past decade or so. These quotes are the little “aha!” moments, the cameos that have been served up out of our collective consciousness from time to time that seem to summarize something about our human journey. I think of this book as something you might have next to the coffeepot to pick up in the morning, or as something you might tuck into your backpack to pull out during your bus ride to work, in order to reframe the way you look at your day.” —Ram Dass

Download or read book Picasso s One liners written by Pablo Picasso and published by Artisan Publishers. This book was released on 1997 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Picasso's "one-liners" constitute a small but delightful contribution to the artist's great body of drawings. Although his prominence as a draughtsman has long been recognized, the unique nature of Picasso's one-liners has never been fully examined, or collected before in a single volume. These 50 drawings offer a fascinating look at this whimsical side of the artist's work. Color throughout.

Download or read book The Ultimate Dad Joke Book written by Hugh Murmie and published by . This book was released on 2020-05-10 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

Download or read book The Amazing Joke Book written by Joel (Writer) Jessup and published by . This book was released on 2019-04 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Winning with One Liners written by Pat Williams and published by HCI. This book was released on 2002-08-15 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Laughter is power. Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds. In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories—from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos—these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring. While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers.

Download or read book Boom One Liners written by L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club and published by . This book was released on 2016-07-30 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny One Liners! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! With this funny collection of one-liner jokes for adults you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh and laugh at this funny joke book. Funny One-Liner Jokes for Adults! Sex jokes Bar jokes Blonde jokes Divorce jokes Men and Women jokes The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!

Download or read book Python One Liners written by Christian Mayer and published by No Starch Press. This book was released on 2020-06-02 with total page 217 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Python programmers will improve their computer science skills with these useful one-liners. Python One-Liners will teach you how to read and write "one-liners": concise statements of useful functionality packed into a single line of code. You'll learn how to systematically unpack and understand any line of Python code, and write eloquent, powerfully compressed Python like an expert. The book's five chapters cover tips and tricks, regular expressions, machine learning, core data science topics, and useful algorithms. Detailed explanations of one-liners introduce key computer science concepts and boost your coding and analytical skills. You'll learn about advanced Python features such as list comprehension, slicing, lambda functions, regular expressions, map and reduce functions, and slice assignments. You'll also learn how to: Leverage data structures to solve real-world problems, like using Boolean indexing to find cities with above-average pollution Use NumPy basics such as array, shape, axis, type, broadcasting, advanced indexing, slicing, sorting, searching, aggregating, and statistics Calculate basic statistics of multidimensional data arrays and the K-Means algorithms for unsupervised learning Create more advanced regular expressions using grouping and named groups, negative lookaheads, escaped characters, whitespaces, character sets (and negative characters sets), and greedy/nongreedy operators Understand a wide range of computer science topics, including anagrams, palindromes, supersets, permutations, factorials, prime numbers, Fibonacci numbers, obfuscation, searching, and algorithmic sorting By the end of the book, you'll know how to write Python at its most refined, and create concise, beautiful pieces of "Python art" in merely a single line.

Download or read book Perl One Liners written by Peteris Krumins and published by No Starch Press. This book was released on 2013-11-26 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Part of the fun of programming in Perl lies in tackling tedious tasks with short, efficient, and reusable code. Often, the perfect tool is the one-liner, a small but powerful program that fits in one line of code and does one thing really well. In Perl One-Liners, author and impatient hacker Peteris Krumins takes you through more than 100 compelling one-liners that do all sorts of handy things, such as manipulate line spacing, tally column values in a table, and get a list of users on a system. This cookbook of useful, customizable, and fun scripts will even help hone your Perl coding skills, as Krumins dissects the code to give you a deeper understanding of the language. You'll find one-liners that: –Encode, decode, and convert strings –Generate random passwords –Calculate sums, factorials, and the mathematical constants pi and e –Add or remove spaces –Number lines in a file –Print lines that match a specific pattern –Check to see if a number is prime with a regular expression –Convert IP address to decimal form –Replace one string with another And many more! Save time and sharpen your coding skills as you learn to conquer those pesky tasks in a few precisely placed keystrokes with Perl One-Liners.