Download or read book On Santa s Lap written by N. K. Pockett and published by . This book was released on 2016-06-20 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Santa is scary with his pot stomach and beard that God knows what's inside and his abusive name calling. I mean, he calls everyone hoes." Evelyn Monroe hates Christmas with a passion, and she vows to hate it till the day she dies. Up until she was seventeen, she was a firm believer about all things Christmas, including that Father Christmas exists. But after reality slapped her hard, all she wants to do with Christmas spirit is to shoot it down. Christmas season drives her borderline crazy, and things just got a tad harder when an insanely hot Santa with a six-pack starts following her around. Nik McArthur a.k.a 'Santa' was busy greeting kids when he saw the Grinch in human form, albeit a prettier and more charming version. Now, he wants nothing short of her for Christmas, and he's gonna find her and turn her into his own little elf no matter how fast she runs. Between holiday parties and a Santa stalker hot on her heels, Evelyn is clearly struggling to keep up. Everything only goes off the charts hilarious when a jealous ex and a six-year- old kid whoknows way too much join the mix. Will this daft turn of events push her over the edge? Or will it make her believe in Chistmas once more? On a different note, will Nik ever discover why she hates Christmas so much? One thing's for sure, this will take a Christmas miracle to sort out. Looking for a witty yet heart-warming Christmas tale that's sure to crack you up? Join Evelyn on her most awkward Christmas as of yet, grab your copy now!
Download or read book The Two Sides of Santa s Lap written by Jae El Foster and published by . This book was released on 2020-11 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Enjoy the magic of Christmas with this eclectic anthology of six exquisitely entertaining stories by three remarkable authors. Displaying both sides of Santa's list - the naughty and the nice - Christmas has never felt so fun! Romance melds with such genres as contemporary, comedy, thriller, and action adventure in this exciting and incomparable collection of sweet and spicy enjoyment. Whether you've been good or bad this year, Santa has a treat in this sack of goodies that is just perfect to satisfy your cravings. Have a seat on Santa's lap and let all of your literary Christmas wishes be granted.
Download or read book Scared of Santa written by Denise Joyce and published by William Morrow Paperbacks. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He's huge and hairy and hulking. He dresses in strange furry clothing. He sneaks into people's homes at night. Who wouldn't be afraid of . . . Santa Claus ?!? Nothing says Christmas quite like innocent children shrieking with terror as a stranger dressed in red drags them kicking and screaming onto his lap. Now this time-honored rite of passage is celebrated with a hilarious collection of more than two hundred and fifty priceless photos of kids' traumatic trips to Santa's workshop. Scared of Santa offers a cornucopia of photographic funnies—from sixty-year-old family heirlooms to last year's howlers—along with delightful commentary on those unforgettable childhood visits to scary ol' Saint Nick.
Download or read book We Are Santa written by Ron Cooper and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2020-09-11 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Who doesn't love Santa Claus? From award-winning photographer Ron Cooper comes a beautifully curated collection of fifty professional Santas from across the country. We Are Santa is a fascinating glimpse into the lives of those who slip into the red suit to spread Christmas cheer. Before and after portraits, behind-the-scenes stories of custom made costumes and specialized training, and surprising anecdotes of on-the-job encounters bring these Santas to life. Just as Humans of New York captures the lives of everyday people, We Are Santa celebrates the humanity of everyday Santas. From a third-generation Kris Kringle to an Orthodox Jew who has been playing Santa for fifty years, Cooper's portraits are a testament to the holiday spirit. When Santa Mike, a Navy veteran and aircraft mechanic, meets a six-year-old girl with a prosthetic hand just like his own, he says, "Her eyes got big, and she threw her arms around my neck. It was the highlight of my season. That's why I’m Santa."
Download or read book Santa Talks written by Glenn Heald and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2013-01-08 with total page 91 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The magic of Santa Claus has been raising questions in the minds of children around the world for centuries. In Santa Talks!, Glenn Heald relies on his research and personal experience playing Santa as he shares details of Saint Nicholass life and creatively answers the questions often asked by children while sitting on Santas lap. Beginning with Nicholass early childhood when he happily lived with monks, Heald narrates the fascinating story of Santas coming-of-age journey through life. After sixteen-year-old Nicholas joins the order to serve the poor, the young bishop soon inherits a fortune from his parents, providing him with the capacity to help the less fortunate. As he throws bags of gold through the windows of children, it is not long before Nicholas encounters a locked window and decides to drop the bag through the chimney. And so begins Santas mission to bring happiness to boys and girls around the world. Tailored for grandparents, parents, and children of all ages, Santa Talks! keeps Christ in Christmas while sharing the magical story of Saint Nicholass journey to becoming the most beloved holiday character of all time.
Download or read book The Night I Met Santa written by and published by NlJ Books. This book was released on 2007 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wondering why he is still getting presents, even when Santa knew how naughty he had been that day, Jeremy asks, "Santa, why did you bring me presents?" "Ahhh, the question I hoped you'd ask. Let me tell you a story to help answer your question."
Download or read book Santa s Special Letter written by Josephine Collins and published by . This book was released on 2010 with total page 24 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Santa is in such a muddle. He has lost a very special letter! Santa's littlest helper is determined to help him find it, and races off to search the workshop.
Download or read book Santa Claus written by Gerry Bowler and published by McClelland & Stewart. This book was released on 2011-07-27 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An entertaining, often surprising look at the life of the world’s most influential fictional character. He is the embodiment of charity and generosity, a creation of mythology, a tool of clever capitalists. The very idea of him is enduring and powerful. Santa Claus was born in early-nineteenth-century America, but his family tree goes back seven hundred years to Saint Nicholas, patron saint of children. Intervening generations were shaggy and strange — whip-wielding menaces to naughty boys and girls. Yet as the raucous, outdoor, alcohol-fuelled holiday gave way to a more domestic, sentimental model, a new kind of gift-bringer was called for — a loveable elf, still judgmental but far less threatening. In this engaging social and cultural history, Gerry Bowler examines the place of Santa Claus in history, literature, advertising, and art. He traces his metamorphosis from a beardless youth into a red-suited peddler. He reveals the lesser-known aspects of the gift-bringer’s life — Santa’s involvement with social and political causes of all stripes (he enlisted on the Union side in the American Civil War), his starring role in the movies and as adman for gun-makers and insurance companies. And he demolishes the myths surrounding Santa Claus and Coca-Cola. Santa Claus: A Biography will stand as the classic work on the long-lived and multifarious Mr. Claus.
Download or read book Sketchy Santas written by Will Zweigart and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ho, ho, huh? Who’s that excessively jolly fellow with the fake beard, shifty eyes, sweaty hands, and boozy breath? Why, it’s not just Santa but sketchy Santa! Yes, ’tis the season for awkward photos of small children posed precariously on the laps of some of the most clownish, irritable, and just plain weird-looking Santa wannabes—guys you’d give a wide berth to if you passed them on the street. Inside this painfully hilarious collection of holiday photos, you’ll discover the pop culture history of the sketchy Santa, and how to identify sketchy Santas in shopping malls everywhere . . . making this the perfect gift for anyone who understands that "He sees you when you’re sleeping" is a deeply disturbing thought.
Download or read book My Santa Claus written by Lily Karr and published by Scholastic Incorporated. This book was released on 2012 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Santa Claus brings surprises for children.
Download or read book Christmas Crisis written by Nancy Krulik and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2003 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After zapping some toys from Santa's workshop, Sabrina has to catch the next sleigh to the North Pole and roll up her sleeves in Santa's workshop.
Download or read book The Violets Are Mine written by Lester Morris and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2011-10-10 with total page 355 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Violets Are Mine Previous Title – “The Green Penny-Farthing Bike” What others are saying about “The Violets Are Mine” “ The saga of an English boy begins with a child who is beaten by caretakers who ran the orphanages during the 30’s and 40’s in England. You will laugh and you will cry, but you will be captivated with the book and will not be able to put it down. It speaks to growing up without a home and the love of a family. It is written as Lester speaks, and does what many an author cannot do, it speaks from the heart. This is a success story about the trials of Lester, about the penny-farthing bike experience and the fun of a child, about life—but something more than that! A lot of things happen to successful people; but it just doesn’t happen by chance to Lester. He tells it as he sees it, and his success comes from his love of life, his wife Val, and the many people who come into contact with Lester—a truly unforgettable character. Read the book – you will be a better person for it!” – Pat Tucker “Lester paints scenes that come alive in amazing detail. I love the misadventures and the humor.” Cindy Jones “The Violets Are Mine is reminiscent of Charles Dickens or “Angela’s Ashes” but he added a twist – a much needed sense of humor.” Denniger Bolton
Download or read book The Maverick s Christmas Baby written by Victoria Pade and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2013-11-19 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's a white Christmas in Rust Creek Falls--and USA TODAY bestselling author Victoria Pade weaves the perfect holiday romance between a single dad and the soon-to-be-mom he just can't resist! RUST CREEK RAMBLINGS Rejoice, ye merry Mavericks! As Christmas approaches, we here at The Rust Creek Falls Rambler thought we'd reward our devoted followers with a blind item guaranteed to put a little extra jingle in your stockings. Which rugged Rust Creek Traub has been spotted canoodling with a very pregnant lady of the Crawford kind? Astute readers will guess we're talking about divorced rancher Dallas Traub, who rescued expectant shopkeeper Nina Crawford from a snowy car wreck a few weeks back. Can these holiday honeys survive feuding families, three boisterous boys and a little bundle of joy intent on an early arrival? Only Santa knows for sure. . .and he might just be bringing the gift of love down the chimney this year!
Download or read book Sunbreaks written by Greg Messel and published by Trafford Publishing. This book was released on 2009-09-22 with total page 303 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sunbreaks is the poignant story of a man's search for a new and fulfilling life after tragedy throws him into a tailspin.
Download or read book Plant Life written by Pamela Duncan and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2003-04-01 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Her luminous first novel, Moon Women, won the hearts of both readers and critics, who called it “richly textured...a pleasure to be savored by a writer to watch.” (Kirkus Reviews) Now Pamela Duncan returns to the rich landscape of the human heart with a lush, resonant novel about mothers and daughters, about family and friendship, about a woman at a turning point in her life and the extraordinary world she discovers in a place called home… Plant Life It’s Christmastime in Russell, North Carolina. For Laurel Granger, the holiday can’t pass quickly enough. With her fifteen-year marriage ending, the visit to her hometown is bound to be even more painful than usual. And the worst part will be looking at the lives of her mother, Pansy, and Pansy’s gossipy group of friends, for whom life revolves around the plant, the aging textile mill where for decades they have found companionship, a modest livelihood, and a purpose. But with her own marriage disintegrating--the full scope of the disaster hasn’t become clear to her yet--Laurel has nowhere else to turn except Russell, and to the women of the plant. And soon what Laurel begins to see is not the stifling town she couldn’t wait to leave, nor women whose lives seem petty and plain, but a place where powerful secrets have been kept...where hearts and lives have been broken...and where a group of extraordinary women may have a thing or two to teach her about life. Most of all, as Laurel starts to live and even love a little again, she is faced with her mother, and her mother before her, and what their complex relationship has meant for Laurel all these years. Weaving together the voices of several remarkable women across generations, Pamela Duncan tells a story of faith and forgiveness, acts of love and acts of betrayal. With the same artful brushstrokes that made Moon Women a wonder, Duncan paints a masterful portrait of seemingly ordinary lives, and of what it means to grow a life and a future--in the rich soil of the past.
Download or read book Santa Claus Confidential written by Kevin Neary and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-11-05 with total page 121 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hilarious, true stories from a professional Santa Claus! For the past twenty-five years, Kevin Neary has lived a double life. He even went as far as wearing a disguise and altering his appearance. Yes, it is true that during this time, he played the role of Santa Claus for a local department store. In Santa Claus Confidential, Neary describes his experiences working as Santa and the interactions with the clever children he encountered. Some of the many hilarious topics he discusses include: Why Santa never introduces new reindeer to his crew. How Santa can enter the home when it has no chimney. Whether Santa’s sleigh has safety belts. How long Santa and Mrs. Claus have been married. And many others! The perfect Christmas gift, Neary’s delightful tales are bound to get you feeling the holiday spirit!
Download or read book Barrel Fever written by David Sedaris and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2009-05-04 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves. David Sedaris made his debut on NPR's Morning Edition with "SantaLand Diaries", recounting his strange-but-true experiences as an elf at Macy's, and soon became one of the show's most popular commentators. With a perfect eye and a voice infused with as much empathy as wit, Sedaris writes stories and essays that target the soulful ridiculousness of our behavior. Barrel Fever is like a blind date with modern life, and anything can happen.
