Download or read book Oh Crap I Think I Shat Myself written by True Stories Told by Jay Bouchard and published by . This book was released on 2007-05-01 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Years of the frustrating inability to control intestinal urges because of a recently discovered food allergy have put me in some embarrassing and unusual predicaments. There have been times when I have or nearly have had accidents in my pants. I have been forced to use nature and any form of a working plumbing system, regardless of condition, location or cleanliness. After many years of sharing these stories, a friend of mine inspired me to write and publish them as he thought others would enjoy them as much as he did. These are true stories and they have not been embellished. Some people, although their names are not mentioned in this book, were not aware of the circumstances that had transpired. I have compiled the best stories, from grade school to adulthood, that have been told over the years. Many of you like me may have been in these types of situations before, but have never told...until now. In one of the stories, an incident occurred while traveling to an exposition in Massachusetts that my wife and I frequent every year. The year after the incident, we saw the t-shirt, the one I am wearing on the cover of this book, at the Vermont Flannel store and I had to have it. It stands for Protest Outrageous Oil Profits. If you are interested in ordering the t-shirt, please visit www.poopdood.com.
Download or read book Oh Crap Potty Training written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.
Download or read book Figuring Shit Out written by Amy Biancolli and published by Behler Publications, LLC. This book was released on 2014-09-29 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.
Download or read book Oh Crap I Have a Toddler written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Gallery Books. This book was released on 2019-06-04 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Real-world, from-the-trenches toddler parenting advice from the author of the bestselling Oh Crap! Potty Training. Toddlers—commonly defined as children aged between two and five years old—can be a horribly misunderstood bunch. What most parents view as bad behavior is in fact just curious behavior. Toddlerdom is the age of individuation, seeking control, and above all, learning how the world works. But this misunderstanding between parents and child can lead to power struggles, tantrums, and even diminished growth and creativity. The recent push of early intellectualism coupled with a desire to “make childhood magical” has created a strange paradox—we have three-year-olds with math and Mandarin tutors who don’t know how to dress themselves and are sitting in their own poop. We are pushing the toddler mind beyond its limit but simultaneously keeping them far below their own natural capabilities. In the frank, funny, and totally authentic Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler, social worker Jamie Glowacki helps parents work through what she considers the five essential components of raising toddlers: —Engaging the toddler mind —Working with the toddler body —Understanding and dealing with the toddler behavior —Creating a good toddler environment —You, the parent Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler is about doing more with less—and bringing real childhood back from the brink of over-scheduled, over-stimulated, helicopter parenting. With her signature down-and-dirty, friend-to-friend advice, Jamie is here to help you experience the joy of parenting again and giving your child—and yourself—the freedom to let them grow at their own pace and become who they are.
Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself Books 1 4 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself #1. Do you believe in ghosts? Bill End doesn't, but as his first night back as a Security Guard, he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible! I Nearly Shit Myself #2. A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan! I Nearly Shit Myself #3. When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As his drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself #4. When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! The, I Nearly Shit Myself, series are now being published under new titles with alternative endings.
Download or read book It s Kind of a Funny Story written by Ned Vizzini and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2010-09-25 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
Download or read book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F ck written by Mark Manson and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
Download or read book Man UNcivilized written by Traver Boehm and published by . This book was released on 2018-08-17 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is the guidebook for the newly emerging paradigm of masculinity. One that includes and celebrates both the primal and divine aspects of men.
Download or read book One Day You ll Thank Me written by Cameran Eubanks Wimberly and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-06-21 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The fan favorite star of the Bravo hit series Southern Charm offers a witty and candid collection of essays on dating, motherhood, and everything in between"--
Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 3 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 78 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself 3, is a dark tale from Joe KING that will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour/humor will be pushed to its limits! When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As Joel’s drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself 3 is now being published as, The PLONKER with an alternative ending.
Download or read book Bad Boys Do written by Victoria Dahl and published by HQN Books. This book was released on 2011-09-27 with total page 378 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: While on an outing with her book club, newly divorced Olivia Bishop, who has sworn off of men, finds trouble in the form of Jamie Donovan, a sexy bad boy who may be too tempting to avoid.
Download or read book Dirty Discourse written by Robert L. Hilliard and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2008-04-15 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Changes in American society, the pluralistic nature of itscitizens, and its geographic preclude a common definition of whatis indecent, profane, or obscene. What may appear to be "dirtydiscourse" to some may be considered to be laudable satire toothers. Renowned media scholars and authors Robert Hilliard andMichael Keith examine the blue side of the airways in DirtyDiscourse: Sex and Indecency in Broadcasting. This first-everanalysis of the history and nature of off-color program contentexplores the treatment of once-forbidden topics in the electronicmedia, investigating the beliefs, attitudes and actions of thosewho present such material, those who condemn it, and those whodefend it. Written from a social and cultural perspective, Dirty Discourseconcentrates on the means of greatest distribution - radio, withits phenomenal growth of 'shock jocks' and rap music lyrics, andprovides coverage of television and the Internet. The book showshow and why broadcasting has evolved from the ribald antics of theRoaring 20's to today's streaming cybersex, contrasting thestandards and actions of the FCC v. the First Amendment amidst theover-the-air and in-the-court battles of over-the-top radio. Itexamines political pressures and legal considerations, includingSupreme Court decisions, and efforts to protect children from mediasmut.
Download or read book Tenth of December written by George Saunders and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2013-01-03 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The prize-winning, New York Times bestselling short story collection from the internationally bestselling author of Lincoln in the Bardo 'The best book you'll read this year' New York Times 'Dazzlingly surreal stories about a failing America' Sunday Times WINNER OF THE 2014 FOLIO PRIZE AND SHORTLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD 2013 George Saunders's most wryly hilarious and disturbing collection yet, Tenth of December illuminates human experience and explores figures lost in a labyrinth of troubling preoccupations. A family member recollects a backyard pole dressed for all occasions; Jeff faces horrifying ultimatums and the prospect of Darkenfloxx(TM) in some unusual drug trials; and Al Roosten hides his own internal monologue behind a winning smile that he hopes will make him popular. With dark visions of the future riffing against ghosts of the past and the ever-settling present, this collection sings with astonishing charm and intensity.
Download or read book Behind the Chutes written by Greg McCaffrey and published by Page Publishing Inc. This book was released on 2022-12-12 with total page 181 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Being raised in a small town high in the Sierra's of Northern California, Greg was raised working on many local ranches as soon as he could saddle his own horse. While in high school, he joined the High School Rodeo Association, and by the time he graduated, he was driving semitrucks, hauling rodeo stock to different events both locally and nationally. These are stories of the younger years in the life of a cowboy, rodeo rider, and truck driver and the unknown stories of how someone becomes what they are, from a kid owning his first horse, working on a ranch, riding in rodeos, learning to drive trucks with his father and uncle, driving semitrucks, hauling bucking horses and bulls to and from an event, what it takes to put on an event, and the unknown events that really happen behind the chutes.
Download or read book Just Take Another Step written by M.D. Oakwood and published by Balboa Press. This book was released on 2017-03-02 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just take another step follows the roller coaster ride of one womans life during an unrelenting four years. The reader is thrust headlong into the familys chaos and pain at the sudden death of her beloved husband. As she plummets into a new world of learning how to grieve, she must endure the pain of watching her best friend face imminent death. Although the worst time of her life, it is a time when she learns to feel and know her love for those most important to her. Yet, the ride is not over as she comes to the very edge of her own demise and more. As we follow M Ds story we walk beside her as she shares beautiful, mad, happy and life-affirming memories that form her mantra of resilience, to just take another step.
Download or read book Within Your Reach written by Chris Lynch and published by BalboaPress. This book was released on 2012-12-26 with total page 153 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In 2008, Chris Lynchs life was transformed in four dramatic days when he was hospitalized with diabetic ketoacidosis, hyperkalemia, and atrial fibrillation. Diagnosed with a blood sugar level of 1,469 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dl), Chris faced near-death and a lifetime of insulin dependence. Realizing his survival was a miracle made possible by God, Chris began a new journey into health and renewed faith, successfully reducing his insulin dependence from 120 units per day to zero. Always a positive spirit dedicated to helping others, Chris determined to share his story with other people, along with a simple, powerful message: Believe, Receive, and Reciprocate. A dynamic and engaging speaker, Chris humor, down-to-earth approach, and unforgettable story come together in this book. Chris plans to inspire people experiencing trauma and pain to turn around their approach to life: from fear to engagement; from denial to acceptance; from self-aggrandizement to enabling hope, love, and peace to others, within their reach.
