Download or read book Necrophenia written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2008-12-01 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ONE IN EVERY THREE PEOPLE LIVING IS ACTUALLY DEAD! It is a matter of historical record that during the latter part of World War II, England's top-secret Ministry of Serendipity enlisted the services of arch-magician Aleister Crowley to create a Homunculus. Why? Well that's a long story, spanning almost seven decades as it follows the life and career of Tyler, rock star, private eye - and notable for the fact that he almost saved Mankind. The cast of millions also includes ukulele maestro George Formby, Mick Jagger, Mama Cass, Elvis Presley and Lazlo Woodbine. And Tyler's brother, Andy, who impersonates animals (and who single-handedly brought about the Swinging Sixties). And a lady named Clara from Croydon, who unlocked the meta-phenomena of the Multiverse. And a corner shopkeeper from Brentford, who created a sitting room for God. And a great many living dead. Oh yes, and it also involves a monster in human form whose intention it is to turn the Earth into a Necrosphere, a planet totally devoid of life ...
Download or read book The Brightonomicon written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2011-06-16 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Our teenage hero, having been thrown from Brighton Pier by the leader of The Canvey Island Mod Squad, narrowly escapes drowning thanks to the Perfect Master, Cosmic Dick and self-styled Logos of the Aeon (not to mention the reinventer of the Ocarina), Hugo Rune Himself. Our hero has lost his memory, and, in desperation, agrees to join The Lad Himself in the solving of twelve cases based upon The Brightonomicon, the new zodiac signs formed by the alignment of Brighton streets and discovered by Rune: carriageway constellations. And together they must find the Chronovision before it falls into the wrong hands and affords ultimate power to the would-be world dictator. And this being an adventure most exciting, they must find it before the sinister Count Otto Black, would-be World Dictator and all-round bad guy. Or the whole world will all go to pot.
Download or read book The Toyminator written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2011-06-02 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Somewhere over the rainbow and just off the Yellow Brick Road stands Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town. And things are not going well for the city's inhabitants. There have been outbreaks of STC - Spontaneous Toy Combustion - and there are strange signs and portents in the Heavens. Preachers of Toy City's many religions are predicting that the End Times are approaching and that a Toy City Apocalypse will soon come to pass. But can this possibly be true, or is there a simple explanation - an alien invasion, for instance. With the body count rising and the forces of law and order baffled, it is the time for a hero to step forward and attempt to save the day. Well, two heroes actually, Eddie Bear, Toy City Private Eye and his loyal sidekick, Jack: our courageous twosome are about to face their biggest challenge yet, to save not only toykind, but the world of mankind too. Which should keep them out of the pub for a while.
Download or read book The Antipope written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 1992-02 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fantasy-roman.
Download or read book The Book of Ultimate Truths written by ROBERT. RANKIN and published by Corgi. This book was released on 2017-06-29 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He had walked the earth as Nostradamus, Uther Pendragon, Count Cagliostro and Rodrigo Borgia. He could open a tin of sardines with his teeth, strike a Swan Vesta on his chin, rope steers, drive a steam locomotive and hum all the works of Gilbert & Sullivan without becoming confused or breaking down in tears. He died, penniless, at a Hastings boarding house, in his ninetieth year. His name was Hugo Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, and he was never bored. Hailed as the 'guru's guru', Rune penned more than eight million words of genius including his greatest work, The Book of Ultimate Truths. But vital chapters of The Book were suppressed, chapters which could have changed the whole course of human history. Now, seventeen-year-old Cornelius Murphy, together with his best friend Tuppe, sets out on an epic quest. Their mission - recover the missing chapters. Re-publish The Book of Ultimate Truths. And save the world.
Download or read book The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and Other Unnatural Attractions written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2010-09-09 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The pickled Martian's tentacles are fraying at the ends and Professor Coffin's Most Meritorious Unnatural Attraction (the remains of the original alien autopsy, performed by Sir Frederick Treves at the London Hospital) is no longer drawing the crowds. It's 1895; nearly a decade since Mars invaded Earth, chronicled by H.G. Wells in THE WAR OF THE WORLDS. Wrecked Martian spaceships, back-engineered by Charles Babbage and Nikola Tesla, have carried the Queen's Own Electric Fusiliers to the red planet, and Mars is now part of the ever-expanding British Empire. The less-than-scrupulous sideshow proprietor likes Off-worlders' cash, so he needs a sensational new attraction. Word has reached him of the Japanese Devil Fish Girl; nothing quite like her has ever existed before. But Professor Coffin's quest to possess the ultimate showman's exhibit is about to cause considerable friction amongst the folk of other planets. Sufficient, in fact, to spark off Worlds War Two.
Download or read book Web Site Story written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 2001 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: They wrote it off as a scare story. The Millennium Bug was the non-event of the 20th century. But they were wrong, because the bug was real. It's a computer virus and it's about to do a deadly species cross-over, from machine to mankind.
Download or read book The Bridge to Never Land written by Dave Barry and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2011-08-09 with total page 448 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One summer morning while Aidan and Sarah are visiting their grandfather, they discover a secret compartment in his battered wooden desk. Inside is a yellowed envelope that contains a piece of very thin, almost translucent, white paper, on which, handwritten in black ink, are a series of seemingly random lines; among them are what appear to be fragments of letters, but not enough to make sense. At the bottom of the page is a verse about Peter Peter and a reference to a real hotel in London. As it happens, the family is about to embark on a trip to Europe, so the children decide that while in London, they will try to locate the hotel.
Download or read book The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2011-06-16 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious comic fantasy from the bestselling cult creator of the Brentford Triangle Trilogy Once upon a time Jack set out to find his fortune in the big city. But the big city is Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town, and it has grown considerably since the good old days and isn't all that jolly any more. And there is a serial killer loose on the streets. The old, rich nursery rhyme characters are being slaughtered one by one and the Toy City police are getting nowhere in their investigations. Meanwhile, Private Eye Bill Winkie has gone missing, leaving behind his sidekick Eddie Bear to take care of things. Eddie may be a battered teddy with an identity crisis, but someone's got to stop the killer. When he teams up with Jack, the two are ready for the challenge. Not to mention the heavy drinking, bad behaviour, car chases, gratuitous sex and violence, toy fetishism and all-round grossness along the way. It's going to be an epic adventure!
Download or read book The Mechanical Messiah and Other Marvels of the Modern Age written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2012-09-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Colonel Katterfelto has lately returned to London. He departed America under something of a cloud ... of smoke, issuing from his Spiritual Laboratory, which the townsfolk of Wormcast, Arizona, marched upon with their flaming torches. This catastrophic conflagration caused considerable concern to the pious colonel, who had been engaged in the creation of 'Heaven's last and best gift to Mankind', The Mechanical Messiah. And he was, after all, being guided in this Great Work by holy angels, communicating to him through his monkey butler, Darwin. It is 1897, twelve years since The War of the Worlds and two since Worlds War Two*. The British Empire encompasses Mars, and an uneasy peace exists between the peoples of Venus, Jupiter and Earth. In London there are many marvels of the modern age to be experienced. Amongst these is The Electric Alhambra Music Hall, where crowds thrill to The Earl Grey Whistle Test, a musical extravaganza featuring such top turns as Hayward's Acrobatic Kiwis, The Travelling Formbys and the newly-arrived Colonel Katterfelto's Clockwork Minstrels. But all is far from well in old Whitechapel, where a monster is once more abroad in the night-time streets, committing hideous acts of murder. Can this be the return of Jack the Ripper, or has something altogether unearthly materialised to spread fear, panic and mayhem? Something Hellishly evil? Famed consulting detective Cameron Bell is already on the case, but it may take nothing less than the New Messiah Himself to save London, The Empire and all of the solar system from the impending apocalypse! 'Stark raving genius' Observer *See The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and other Unnatural Attractions.
Download or read book The Publishers Weekly written by and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 792 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Retromancer written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2010-09-15 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There is big and evil magic abroad upon the face of the Earth. History has been changed. The Germans have won WWII. America is a nuclear wasteland. And worst of all, the breakfast menu at The Wife's Legs Café in Brentford is serving Bratwurst rather than the proper big boys' British banger. Something is Not Right. And when the world's all wrong and it needs setting right, who're you gonna call? Hugo Rune, that's who. A man who offers the world his genius, and asks only, in return, that the world cover his expenses. And so, with the aid of his faithful acolyte and companion Rizla, the guru's guru, also known as the hokus bloke, the Lad Himself and the Retromancer*, sets out to rewrite history the way it should be. Together they return to war-torn London, to solve the twelve cosmic conundra based on Hugo Rune's personal tarot deck, each one leading them closer to a final terrifying confrontation. They must match their wits against beautiful spies, advanced alien technology, killer robots and death rays, do battle with an ancient god, and come face to face once more with Hugo Rune's arch-enemy, the sinister Count Otto Black, all the while finding time to drink ale, talk the toot and dine out in some of London's swankiest eateries. Without ever paying the bill.
Download or read book Nostradamus Ate My Hamster written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 1997 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Robert wants to be a star in the movies. He has invented a system with his computer that could put the old stars back on the screen, alongside him. He has the script and the money, but Hollywood isn't keen. Could the perfect partnership lie with Ernest Fudgepacker of Fudgepacker's Emporium?
Download or read book Sprout Mask Replica written by Robert Rankin and published by Corgi. This book was released on 1997 with total page 350 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's all down to the butterfly His great-grandfather died at the Battle of Little Big Horn. He wasn't with Custer though. He was holding a sprout-bake in the field next door and went over to complain about the noise. His grandfather was a preacherman, who wore weighted shoes in the pulpit to avoid any embarrassing levitations during moments of extreme rapture. His father practised body-modification and once shinned up the inside of a drainpipe to win a bet with his mum. And then there was him. And he was the Chosen One. He had THE GIFT. You've heard of the Butterfly of Chaos Theory? The one that flaps its wings in the Andes and causes a thunderstorm in Penge? Well, he could do that. Shift a biro in his top pocket and cause the Tokyo Stock Exchange to rise twenty two points. Put a paperclip on his ear and make England win the World Cup. And with a gift like that, imagine what you could do. You could change this world into paradise. Or you could really screw up. BIG TIME!
Download or read book The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 1999 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Originally published: London: Doubleday, 1998.
Download or read book The Witches of Chiswick written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2011-06-16 with total page 448 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We have all been lied to. A great and sinister conspiracy exists to keep us from uncovering the truth about our past. Have you ever wondered how Victorians dreamed up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might just have been based upon fact? That THE WAR OF THE WORLDS was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo' s Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? That there really was an invisible man? And what about the other stuff? Did you know that Queen Victoria had a sexual relationship with Dr Watson? Or that the elephant man was a product of an E.T./human hybridisation programme? Or that Jack the Ripper was a terminator robot sent from the future? Read on: and learn how a cabal of Victorian Witches from the Chiswick Townswomen's Guild, working with advanced Babbage super-computers, rewrote 19th Century history, and how a 23rd Century boy called Will Starling uncovered the truth about everything.
Download or read book Waiting for Godalming written by Robert Rankin and published by Doubleday UK. This book was released on 2000 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: God's other son, Colin, who was edited out of the Bible when Jesus got artistic control, is a bit pissed off. Well wouldn't you be, with your brother stealing the lime-light like that? But now God's been murdered, and there's no way Colin's gonna let the meek inherit the Earth. He's in charge now.
