Download or read book More Bollocks People Tell You written by Laura Tong and published by Laura Tong. This book was released on 2014-06-07 with total page 99 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Frankly Frank says... The original ground breaking 'The Bollocks People Tell You' struck a mighty blow against all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks, politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies desperate to ram their knob head opinions down anyone and everyone's throat. However, the fight goes on - there are still mounds of grubby little tapeworms spreading their unwanted and nauseating opinions into every nook and cranny of our lives and I, Frankly Frank, promise not sleep until they are dispatched back to the invidious wormcasts they came from. It still seems that if we don’t measure up to their impossibly tedious 'ideals' of endeavor or health and safety or 'citizenship' or 'family values' that our very existence is squalid and hollow. Therefore it still remains for me to make the world a better place by shoving these self-styled 'experts' ideas and opinions up their respective asses. The good news is that we are not alone – there has already been a nationwide campaign involving much bloodshed of experts and the like so relax, flop into a lazy boy with a brace of burgers and a crate of special brew or sink into a hot bathtub with a truffle and caviar pasty and be assured once again that a murderous number of ‘experts’ were severely mutilated in the making of this book. * Here then is the fervently awaited definitive, all-encompassing follow up anthology ... More Bollocks People Tell You

Download or read book The Bollocks People Tell You written by Laura Tong and published by Laura Tong. This book was released on 2014-06-07 with total page 105 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Frankly Frank says... Just thinking about all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks, politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies - desperate, to ram their knob head opinions down my throat makes me want to spew. There is no area of life left without some grubby little tapeworm smearing its unwanted and nauseating opinion into it. The bastards cheerfully inform us if we don’t measure up to some impossibly tedious ideal encapsulated in some bullshit celebrity ‘save the plankton’ type book or Government ‘fuck responsibly’ type pamphlet our miserable existences are an insult to mankind's eternal struggle to distinguish itself from the primordial slime it came from. The only real certainty is that the world would be a better place if all these self-styled 'experts' shoved their endless opinions up their respective asses. However, as this is unlikely to happen, without a nationwide campaign involving much bloodshed, glide instead into a chaise longue with a glass of Chardonnay and a coarse cut Brussels pate or slump into a easy chair with a bottle of Newcastle Brown and a battered saveloy, and rest assured that many ‘experts’ were harmed in the making of this book.

Download or read book Wild Dogs and Nutters written by Laura Tong and published by Laura Tong. This book was released on 2014-06-07 with total page 84 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Please note this is a three part series - this is part one - London to Iran. This journey was undertaken in a time without mobile phones, without the Internet, without digital cameras and wireless connections. Without blue tooth and denture whitening, Skype, hype and liposuction. In a time when a blackberry was a fruit, an Apple a vegetable and a nasty rash and boils, incurable. Indeed without the aid of most of the critical inventions of the past 15 years. That such a monumental odyssey was possible at all in such primitive times may be the cause of disbelief but despite the catalog of disasters, bad decisions and wild swings from feeling like intrepid explorers to feeling like a luxury hotel with en suite everything we did set out from London one morning on a tandem and arrive eighteen months later in Sydney, almost in one piece. Our route took us across Western and what was then still Eastern Europe and over the Bosphorus into Asia and onto the Silk Route made famous by Marco Polo. Despite initially being refused a visa and the British Consulate warning us not to go, Iran followed Turkey and then Pakistan and the Himalayas into North China. Three months later we emerged to continue into Thailand, through Malaysia and Indonesia and then eventually across to Australia and down to Sydney, 32,248 kilometers of cycling later. In between were celebrity sponsorship, fifteen countries, a failed attempt to cross a war zone, the highest road pass in the world, two arrests, crashes, breakdowns, dengue fever, earth tremors, fires, an ambush and stoning in a remote Himalayan valley and a game of cat and mouse with the Chinese Public Security Bureau. Recognized by Guinness as a World Record, we’ve been trading on this ridiculous feat of deluded endeavor ever since and Wild Dogs and Nutters is on its way to being the silliest and most inspiring feel good account of resculpting one’s buttocks across 32,000 kilometers of some of the world’s most extreme landscapes. Please note this is a three part series - this is part one - London to Iran.

Download or read book More Bollocks to Alton Towers written by Alex Morris and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2008-04-03 with total page 488 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Leave the hordes behind, pack some sandwiches and head off for a grand day out. Whether it's the National Fruit Collection or the pub where time stood still, Britain is stuffed full of surprising and idiosyncratic local attractions. The authors of Bollocks to Alton Towers, the bestselling celebration of the plucky underdogs of tourism, have ventured even farther off the beaten track and into the corners that corporate branding forgot, to bring you more unique, glorious and uncomonly British days out. Here you'll discover: The garden centre with a replica of Del Boy's living room The joys of a Melton Mowbray pork pie pilgramage The rude charms of the Boscastle Witchcraft Museum The Clowns' Gallery that paints a smile on Hackney's face This book is a reminder of all the odd things that make the British what we are. A hidden, eccentric and joyous world of teas, fans, trains, shoes and puppets is waiting for you out there - far from the sodding crowd.

Download or read book Right Said Fred written by Andrew Flintoff and published by Kings Road Publishing. This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page 155 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When social distancing is over, can people still keep their distance? I only do the things I like now, rather than the things I should - is that alright? And these days, why has everyone got an opinion on everything and insist on sharing it? Oh. Scratch that one. From one of Britain's most-loved national treasures, comes a much-needed Bible of straight-talking honesty and sharp observational humour: following an unprecedented time of collective global insanity, Freddie is ready to impart his effortless charm, wit and wisdom on a wild array of topics. From the significant: climate change - maybe it's our time to go? To the time-worn: what even is political correctness and has the world really gone mad? To the essential: just what do you get when you receive the coveted Toby Carvery Gold Card? In Right, Said Fred, Freddie takes you on a whirlwind tour of his brain as he ponders more of life's most unfathomable questions.

Download or read book The Little Book of Management Bollocks written by Alistair Beaton and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2001 with total page 147 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his previous books, where he first took on the self-help craze then New Labour's addiction to spin, Alistair Beaton now tackles the management gurus. Read this book and you will be transformed overnight into a successful modern manager, capable of talking authentic management bollocks at any hour of the day or night, because, let's face it, talking bollocks is what modern management is all about. Below are a few of the gems contained within THE LITTLE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT BOLLOCKS...RISK MANAGEMENT Improve risk management outcomes by never investing in anything. INSPIRING OTHERS As a manager, it's your job to inspire others. If there's nothing inspiring about you, just use fear instead.

Download or read book Here We Go Gathering Cups In May written by Nicky Allt and published by Canongate Books. This book was released on 2007-09-06 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Seven European Cup finals. Seven fans. Seven amazing adventures following the team they love. This book celebrates the achievements of Liverpool FC in Europe, and in particular a love affair with Old Big Ears - the European Cup. It's an ongoing affair that began with the legendary and, in those days, unprecedented exodus of 30,000 Liverpool fans to Rome in 1977, has taken in the glories of Paris and Istanbul, endured the horror of Brussels, and still burns as brightly today with Athens 2007, just the latest staging post of Liverpool's trans-European express. Above all, Here We Go Gathering Cups In May tells of the bond between a club and its fans: the lengths those fans will go to in order to be there at the final to cheer on their team, vivid accounts of what happened along the way, their escapades in some of Europe’s iconic capitals, and their recollections of those historic nights – nights of glory and, sometimes, nights of tragedy.

Download or read book The Little Book of Brexit Bollocks written by Alistair Beaton and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-10-03 with total page 159 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Truly brilliant' - Matthew Parris, Times columnist If any event in recent British history has spawned more bollocks than Brexit, it is hard to remember when. Now, in a successor volume to the perennial bestsellers The Little Book of Complete Bollocks and The Little Book of Management Bollocks, comes the definitive and hilarious insight into what politicians really mean when they talk about Brexit. We know all the phrases - 'Orderly Departure', 'Crashing Out', 'Remoaners' and many more - but in The Little Book of Brexit Bollocks all is finally made crystal clear by authors Alistair Beaton and Tom Mitchelson. They reveal which notorious politician devised the term 'Ever Closer Union', and what he was actually talking about; one daily newspaper branded three High Court judges 'Enemies of the People', but this book reveals who the true enemies are. So whether you believe Nigel Farage is a national hero or a national embarrassment, this book will finally bring some cheer and relief from the agony of Brexit as we head into the Transition Period (which in the end may outlast us all).

Download or read book Naughty Bastards Twenty One True Stories written by Kate Kray and published by Kings Road Publishing. This book was released on 2010-04-19 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There is a deadly code of conduct that operates beyond the boundaries of the everyday. It's a world where anger, strength, and terrifying ferocity must be controlled with total precision and perfect timing. It is an art known to only a few. In this unique project, Kate Kray has met such men and talked to them on their own ground. They have opened up to her, told her their stories--the hunger and poverty they have endured as kids with crime and violence on every street corner, a world where it's a thin line between survival and the cold slab in the city mortuary. With integrated photographs, the portraits of these men reveal not only their awesome and terrifying presence, their power and brutal strength, but their underlying humanity and dignity too. The result of this collaboration is a revelation--portraits in words and pictures of tough guys who are smooth, loaded, and hard as rock. Men who have gone to the brink, and have survived to turn their lives around to tell their tale.

Download or read book Audition Speeches for Women written by Jean Marlow and published by Psychology Press. This book was released on 2001 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jean Marlow, who runs The Actors' Theatre School in London, has chosen a variety of speeches especially designed for auditioning for television and stage parts as well as for applications to drama schools. Also included is helpful advice from film and theatre director Sir Peter Hall, casting director Doreen Jones, and stage and film dialect coach Penny Dyer.

Download or read book Duende written by Jason Webster and published by Crown. This book was released on 2004-03-09 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The music started: two guitarists beating out more Alboreás. The women took turns to dance in a frenzy, each trying to outdo the other. “Deep Song always sings in the night,” Lorca had written. It was the credo of the flamenco: a rejection of the mundane, the ordinary, the life of the everyday man, embracing, rather, an extreme world – extreme passions, extreme feelings, the extremes of life and death. And it was a way of life I wanted to believe in – its excitement, its danger, the affirmation it gave you that you were different, and alive. Destined for a sedate and predictable life in academia, Jason Webster was derailed in his early twenties when his first love, an aloof Florentine beauty, dumped him unceremoniously. Loveless and eager for adventure – and determined to fulfill a secret dream -- he left Oxford and headed for Spain, the country that had long captivated his imagination, and set off in search of duende, the intense and mysterious emotional state – part ecstasy, part melancholy – that is the essence of Spain’s signature art form: flamenco. Duende is Webster’s captivating memoir of the years he spent in Spain pursuing his obsession. Studying flamenco guitar until his fingers bleed, he becomes involved in a passionate yet doomed affair with Lola, a flamenco dancer (and older woman) married to the gun-toting Vicente, only to flee the coastal city of Alicante in fear for his life. He ends up in Madrid, miserable and lovelorn, but it’s here that he has his first taste of the gritty world of flamenco’s progenitors – the Gypsies whose edgy lives and fervent commitment to the art of flamenco vividly illustrate the path to duende. Before long he is deeply immersed in a flamenco underworld that combines music and dance with drugs and crime. After two years Webster moves on to Granada where, bruised and battered, he reflects on his discovery of the emotional heart of Spain.

Download or read book Cleaning Up written by Tania Glyde and published by Profile Books. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Imagine not drinking a bottle of wine before making a pass; not moving in like a starving cat when someone is at the bar; not apologising for something you don't remember doing. Once upon a time, Tania Glyde couldn't imagine living any other way. She wondered whether she had a problem, but so many people drank more and as a clock-watching 6pm-er who hardly ever threw up in public, by general standards she was fine - despite the constant hangover and the bottle of vodka stashed in her handbag. At the end of a 23-year love affair with alcohol, Tania Glyde remembers her inner white wine witch. Exposing the culpability of the drinks industry, the enabling qualities of Class As and our powerful sense of entitlement to drink until we fall over, Cleaning Up examines a moral panic of our time, exploring why women drink, how to stop and what life after alcohol is really like

Download or read book Talking Bollocks written by R. Lingo and published by Crombie Jardine Publishing. This book was released on 2015-10-01 with total page 60 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: TALKING BOLLOCKS! examines 52 ridiculous phrases in everyday use such as "e;How long's a piece of string?"e;, "e;I laughed my head off"e; and "e;What, none at all?"e;

Download or read book And When I Die written by Russel D McLean and published by Saraband. This book was released on 2016-06-10 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Families Can Be Murder His family believes he’s dead. The police believe he’s dead. But Ray Scobie, a killer who can’t feel pain, doesn’t die so easily. Betrayed by his own father, near-fatally wounded and lying in hospital as ‘John Doe’, Ray wants payback against his family – who just happen to run one of Glasgow’s most brutal crime syndicates. Family secrets and old grudges collide with the dark motives of an undercover cop who’s strayed beyond his brief to the point of no return. And the cop’s still in thrall to Ray’s favourite cousin, with whom he’s had an illicit relationship, endangering them both.

Download or read book Even the Dogs written by Jon McGregor and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2010-04-22 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On a cold, quiet day between Christmas and the New Year, a man's body is found in an abandoned apartment. His friends look on, but they're dead, too. Their bodies found in squats and sheds and alleyways across the city. Victims of a bad batch of heroin, they're in the shadows, a chorus keeping vigil as the hours pass, paying their own particular homage as their friend's body is taken away, examined, investigated, and cremated. All of their stories are laid out piece by broken piece through a series of fractured narratives. We meet Robert, the deceased, the only alcoholic in a sprawling group of junkies; Danny, just back from uncomfortable holidays with family, who discovers the body and futiley searches for his other friends to share the news of Robert's death; Laura, Robert's daughter, who stumbles into the junky's life when she moves in with her father after years apart; Heather, who has her own place for the first time since she was a teenager; Mike, the Falklands War vet; and all the others. Theirs are stories of lives fallen through the cracks, hopes flaring and dying, love overwhelmed by a stronger need, and the havoc wrought by drugs, distress, and the disregard of the wider world. These invisible people live in a parallel reality, out of reach of basic creature comforts, like food and shelter. In their sudden deaths, it becomes clear, they are treated with more respect than they ever were in their short lives. Intense, exhilarating, and shot through with hope and fury, Even the Dogs is an intimate exploration of life at the edges of society--littered with love, loss, despair, and a half-glimpse of redemption.

Download or read book Anger is an Energy My Life Uncensored written by John Lydon and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-10-09 with total page 728 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: John Lydon has secured prime position as one of the most recognizable icons in the annals of music history. As Johnny Rotten, he was the lead singer of the Sex Pistols - the world's most notorious band, who shot to fame in the mid-1970s with singles such as 'Anarchy in the UK' and 'God Save the Queen'. So revolutionary was his influence, he was even discussed in the Houses of Parliament, under the Traitors and Treasons Act, which still carries the death penalty. Via his music and invective he spearheaded a generation of young people across the world who were clamouring for change - and found it in the style and attitude of this most unlikely figurehead. With his next band, Public Image Ltd (PiL) Lydon expressed an equally urgent impulse in his make-up - the constant need to reinvent himself, to keep moving. From their beginnings in 1978 he set the groundbreaking template for a band that continues to challenge and thrive in the 2010s. He also found time for making innovative new dance records with the likes of Afrika Baambaata and Leftfield. Following the release of a solo record in 1997, John took a sabbatical from his music career into other media, most memorably his own Rotten TV show for VH1 and as the most outrageous contestant ever on I'm a Celebrity…. Get Me Out of Here!He then fronted the Megabugsseries and one-off nature documentaries and even turned his hand to a series of much loved TV advertisements for Country Life butter. Lydon has remained a compelling and dynamic figure - both as a musician, and, thanks to his outspoken, controversial, yet always heartfelt and honest statements, as a cultural commentator. The book a fresh and mature look back on a life full of incident from his beginnings as a sickly child of immigrant Irish parents who grew up in post-war London, to his present status as a vibrant, alternative national hero.

Download or read book The Self Esteem Team s Guide to Sex Drugs and WTFs written by Grace Barrett and published by Kings Road Publishing. This book was released on 2015-08-06 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Being a teenager can seem nothing but people telling you what you should do, and how spectacularly you are effing it all up. The Self-Esteem Team know this, because they were teenagers once--enduring bullying, chronic skin issues, "puppy fat," and angst. Later, they battled self-harm, depression and an eating disorder. That's why The Self-Esteem Team offers real answers. They won't tell you that if you have sex you'll definitely get an STI and die, but they will help you decide if you're ready. They won't tell you never to watch porn, but they will help you decipher what you see. They won't ask you not to embrace fashion, but they will give you the info you need to rock your own brand of gorgeous.