Download or read book Moms Who Drink and Swear written by Nicole Knepper and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-04-02 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Download or read book The Cursing Mommy s Book of Days written by Ian Frazier and published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. This book was released on 2012-10-02 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Based on his widely read columns for The New Yorker, Ian Frazier's uproarious first novel, The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days, centers on a profoundly memorable character, sprung from an impressively fertile imagination. Structured as a daybook of sorts, the book follows the Cursing Mommy—beleaguered wife of Larry and mother of two boys, twelve and eight—as she tries (more or less) valiantly to offer tips on how to do various tasks around the home, only to end up on the ground, cursing, surrounded by broken glass. Her voice is somewhere between Phyllis Diller's and Sylvia Plath's: a hilariously desperate housewife with a taste for swearing and large glasses of red wine, who speaks to the frustrations of everyday life. Frazier has demonstrated an astonishing ability to operate with ease in a variety of registers: from On the Rez, an investigation into the lives of modern day Oglala Sioux written with a mix of humor, compassion, and imagination, to Dating Your Mom, a sidesplitting collection of humorous essays that imagines, among other things, how and why you might begin a romance with your mother. Here, Frazier tackles another genre with his usual grace and aplomb, as well as an extra helping of his trademark wicked wit. The Cursing Mommy's failures and weaknesses are our own—and Frazier gives them a loving, satirical spin that is uniquely his own.

Download or read book Mommy Cusses written by Dorman Serena and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2021-06-25 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of Go the F*ck to Sleep, Mommy Cusses is a hilarious novelty parenting book full of tell-it-like-it-is quotes, snarky lists, and too-true anecdotes that will resonate with new moms everywhere. For new-ish mothers who need to laugh at the absurdity of parenting so they don't cry, who are looking for a we're-in-this-together sense of solidarity, and who don't have time to read a "real" book, here is a hilarious and highly relatable collection of mom malarkey. There are real-talk quotes, helpful lists (such as "How to Look Like You Have Your Act Together"), "mom-tivities," and quizzes, all delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Packaged in a handy trim size with colorful illustrations throughout, Mommy Cusses is the perfect gift for moms and moms-to-be who need some comic relief. • GREAT GIFT: Mommy Cusses is super relatable and laugh-out-loud funny, making it an easy gift for Mother's Day or a baby shower, or an anytime gift for a parent. • PERENNIAL TOPIC: It doesn't take long to experience all the ups and downs of parenting. Mommy Cusses features timeless mommy humor that won't go out of style and a fresh look and feel that speaks to young parents. Perfect for: • Expectant parents and parents of children under 5 • Shoppers looking for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift for a friend, spouse, or daughter • Followers of the Mommy Cusses blog or Instagram account

Download or read book MOM AF written by Christine Michel Carter and published by Sarsins LLC. This book was released on 2019-10-25 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christine Carter may run on caffeine, chaos, and cuss words, but she wants nothing more than to become a well-rounded parent, wife, and professional. Like most young moms, she aspires to live a stress-free life. But when her world becomes unbalanced, and a separation thwarts her, Carter must look inside herself and address several issues.

Download or read book Amateur Hour written by Kimberly Harrington and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 293 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Kimberly Harrington deftly and hilariously uncovers all of the lies and bullshit women are told about motherhood. This book made me laugh, sure, but it also made me feel seen.” — Jennifer Romolini, chief content officer at Shondaland.com and author of Weird in a World That’s Not An emotionally honest, arresting, and funny collection of essays about motherhood and adulthood. “Being a mother is a gift.” Where’s my receipt? Welcome to essayist Kimberly Harrington’s poetic and funny world of motherhood, womanhood, and humanhood, not necessarily in that order. It’s a place of loud parenting, fierce loving, too much social media, and occasional inner monologues where timeless debates are resolved such as Pro/Con: Caving to PTO Bake Sale Pressure (“PRO: Skim the crappiest brownies for myself. CON: They’re really crappy.”) With accessibility and wit, she captures the emotions around parenthood in artful and earnest ways, highlighting this time in the middle—midlife, the middle years of childhood, how women are stuck in the middle of so much. It’s a place of elation, exhaustion, and time whipping past at warp speed. Finally, it’s a quiet space to consider the girl you were, the mother you are, and the woman you are always becoming.

Download or read book There Are Moms Way Worse Than You written by Glenn Boozan and published by Workman Publishing. This book was released on 2022-03-29 with total page 65 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A rhyming illustrated humor book for moms who feel they're not doing a good job (and that's all moms, right?). Packed with scientifically true examples of terrible parents in the animal kingdom, to remind and reassure any mother that there are way worse moms out there.

Download or read book Design Mom written by Gabrielle Stanley Blair and published by Artisan. This book was released on 2015-04-07 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times best seller Ever since Gabrielle Stanley Blair became a parent, she’s believed that a thoughtfully designed home is one of the greatest gifts we can give our families, and that the objects and decor we choose to surround ourselves with tell our family’s story. In this, her first book, Blair offers a room-by-room guide to keeping things sane, organized, creative, and stylish. She provides advice on getting the most out of even the smallest spaces; simple fixes that make it easy for little ones to help out around the house; ingenious storage solutions for the never-ending stream of kid stuff; rainy-day DIY projects; and much, much more.

Download or read book Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts written by Karen Kleiman and published by Workman Publishing. This book was released on 2019-07-19 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 90 percent of new mothers will have scary, intrusive thoughts about their baby and themselves. What if I drop him? What if I snap and hurt my baby? Mothering is so hard—I don't know if I really want to do this anymore. Gosh, I'm so terrible for thinking that! Yet for too many mothers, those thoughts remain secret, hidden away in a place of shame that can quickly grow into anxiety, postpartum depression, and even self-harm. But here's the good news: you CAN feel better! Author Karen Kleiman—coauthor of the seminal book This Isn't What I Expected and founder of the acclaimed Postpartum Stress Center—comes to the aid of new mothers everywhere with a groundbreaking new source of hope, compassion, and expert help. Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts is packed with world-class guidance, simple exercises, and nearly 50 stigma-busting cartoons from the viral #speakthesecret campaign that help new moms validate their feelings, share their fears, and start feeling better. Lighthearted yet serious, warm yet not sugary, and perfectly portioned for busy moms with full plates, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts is the go-to resource for moms, partners, and families everywhere who need help with this difficult period.

Download or read book Life I Swear written by Chloe Dulce Louvouezo and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-12-07 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Foreword by Elaine Welteroth In this stunningly illustrated essay collection inspired by the popular podcast Life, I Swear, prominent Black women reflect on self-love and healing, sharing stories of the trials and tribulations they’ve faced and what has helped them confront pain, heal wounds, and find connection. With essays by Eniafebiafe Isis Adewale • Lauren Ash • Gabrielle Williams • Lindsey Farrar • Nneke Julia • Elaine Welteroth • Meryanne Loum-Martin • Lili Lopez • Deun Ivory • Morgan Ashley • Dydine Umunyana • Adriana Parrish • Orixa Jones • Offeibea Obubah • Alex Elle • Kalkidan Gebreyohannes • Esther Boykin • Brooke Hall • Qimmah Saafir • Josefina H. Sanders • Julee Wilson • Shay Jiles • Danasia Fantastic A mixture of poignant essays, gorgeous photography, and sophisticated design elements, Life, I Swear is a chronicle of transformation and growth by and for modern-day Black women. Some of today’s most influential Black female voices chronicle their private journeys, offering testimonies of living through pain and joy with raw honesty and unapologetic self-love. In each episode of her podcast, Life, I Swear, emotive storyteller Chloe Dulce Louvouezo explores the nuances of our diverse experiences. In one-on-one interviews and personal prose, the podcast centers on personal stories that offer universal insights into topics relevant to modern women’s lives, from identity and family to trauma and motherhood, told through the lens of Black women. A catalyst for change, this revelatory book builds on the premise of the podcast by diving deeper into themes of mental health, identity and resilience. Life, I Swear is sure to spark lively, thought-provoking, and necessary conversations that encourage Black women to return home to themselves through self-examination and grace. Life, I Swear features 100-125 full-color photographs throughout.

Download or read book Swearing Like a Motherfucker written by Colorful Swearing Dreams and published by . This book was released on 2019-07 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: GAG GIFT IDEA - SWEAR WORD COLORING BOOK FOR GROWN-UPS This is an Adult Coloring Book of 20 Hilarious Swearing Words and Relaxing Designs where men, women, co-workers, managers or anyone else can relief their stress by coloring & without cussing out loud! For Adult Only. Cover Soft Silky Matte Cover Size 8.5 x 11 inches (21.59 x 27.94 cm) Features 20 Unique & Relaxing Designs to Color for Adult Only This Coloring book Contains 20 hilarious Uncensored Swear Words (including F-words, C-words, etc.) Each Swear word is designed around Mandalas, Paisley Patterns, Flowers & more Each Coloring Page is designed for Laughing, Relaxing & Passing Time The Variety of Designs offer something for every skill level Your choice of coloring tools can be used (Gel Pens, Colored Pencils, Markers, Crayons, etc.) Each Coloring Page is Printed on One Side of white paper for best results. Examples of Cuss Words you can find in this Coloring Book ""I'm Sick of this Shit"" ""The Art of not Giving a Fuck"" ""Fifty Shades of Bullshit"" ""Shut the Fuck Up"" and more! These coloring books are the best funny gag gift ideas for White Elephant, Retirement, Birthdays, Christmas for moms, dads, coworkers, colleagues, directors, etc. Unleash your inner artist as you color this therapeutic antistress coloring book, perfect for getting rid of negative feelings & staying stress-free. TIME TO COLOR THE STRESS AWAY

Download or read book Weed Mom written by Danielle Simone Brand and published by Ulysses Press. This book was released on 2020-12-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Navigate the worlds of cannabis and parenting with this essential guide for women interested in learning more about THC, dispensaries, micro-dosing, edibles, and how to incorporate it all into a healthy family life. With national marijuana legalization on the horizon, more and more mothers are looking for information about how to safely and responsibly use cannabis. Known as “weed moms,” these trailblazers are breaking down the social stigma surrounding cannabis and parenting, creating a modern culture all their own. Weed Mom is the first and only book for these mothers, celebrating how weed can be a safe and healthy way to relax, destress, and improve their social lives and relationships. As mothers find themselves on the frontline of a societal shift, this book is more timely than ever. Packed with information for both the seasoned and first-time user, this book offers friendly and practical advice including: the basics of THC and CBD what to look for at the dispensary tips and tricks for various intake methods micro-dosing cannabis-friendly talking points for family and friends how to use cannabis to improve your romantic relationships and much more!

Download or read book From Where I Watch You written by Shannon Grogan and published by Soho Press. This book was released on 2015-08-04 with total page 200 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sixteen-year-old Kara is about to realize her dream of becoming a professional baker. Beautifully designed and piped, her cookies are masterpieces, but also her ticket out of rainy Seattle—if she wins the upcoming national baking competition and its scholarship prize to culinary school in California. Kara can no longer stand the home where her family lived, laughed, and ultimately imploded after her mean-spirited big sister Kellen died in a drowning accident. Kara’s dad has since fled, and her mom has turned from a high-powered attorney into a nutty holy-rolling Christian fundamentalist peddling “Soul Soup” in the family café. All Kara has left are memories of better times. But the past holds many secrets, and they come to light as Kara faces an anonymous terror: Someone is leaving her handwritten notes. Someone who knows exactly where she is and what she’s doing. As the notes lead her to piece together the events that preceded Kellen’s terrible, life-changing betrayal years before, she starts to catch glimpses of her dead sister: an unwelcome ghost in filthy Ugg boots. If Kara doesn’t figure out who her stalker is, and soon, she could lose everything. Her chance of escape. The boy she’s beginning to love and trust. Even her life.

Download or read book The First Time Mom s Pregnancy Handbook written by Bryn Huntpalmer and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2019-12-03 with total page 187 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The essential pregnancy guide for the modern woman The vast amount of information in encyclopedia-sized pregnancy books for first-time moms can be overwhelming and anxiety inducing. The First-Time Mom's Pregnancy Handbook is different. Including need-to-know advice relevant to the majority of women and pregnancies. This week-by-week guide will prepare and empower you during pregnancy and beyond. In the world of pregnancy books for first-time moms, this one is a go-to. With weekly goals you can focus on, including nutrition and milestone trackers, questions for OB-GYNs or midwifes, and tips on caring for your newborn, you'll be more than prepared for the big day. This standout among pregnancy books for first-time moms delivers: 40+ weekly milestones—From conception through the first few months of baby's life, set and accomplish goals based on your weekly priorities and needs. Baby and mom stats—Of all pregnancy books for first-time moms, this one offers a week-by-week rundown of your baby's development, symptoms you may be experiencing, major appointments, and more. Postpartum prep—Tips for focusing on your emotional health, healing your body after childbirth, taking care of your newborn, and thriving as a new mother. When you're thinking about pregnancy books for first-time moms, think about this one.

Download or read book Mother s Curse written by Thaddeus Nowak and published by . This book was released on 2012-02-01 with total page 269 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Heirs of Cothel Series, Book 1 Sword Woman, Princess, ... Cursed Witch Tradition holds that a mother who commits a mortal sin against the gods will be cursed with a daughter born a witch. Stephenie, the youngest princess of Cothel is just such a curse. Hostage to her mother's will while her father and older brother fight a war two countries away, Stephenie must overcome her mother's plots if she is to save her father, brother, and the many soldiers she trained with. Fearful of her mother's growing traitorous behavior, Stephenie must escape Antar Castle. But to do so, she might have to rely upon her hidden powers, risking others discovering she is a witch...a risk that would most certainly result in her death by burning. With the help of a select group of soldiers and an unexpected ally, she just might survive.

Download or read book A Swear Word Coloring Book for Adults written by Honey Badger Coloring and published by Honey Badger Coloring. This book was released on 2017-09-12 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Swearing Like a Motherfucking Lawyer written by Colorful Swearing Dreams and published by . This book was released on 2019-07-16 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: GAG GIFT IDEA - SWEAR WORD COLORING BOOK FOR GROWN-UPS This is an Adult Coloring Book of 20 Hilarious Lawyer Related Swearing Words and Relaxing Designs where men, women, advocates who can relief their stress by coloring & without cussing out loud! FOR ADULT ONLY. Cover Soft Silky Matte Cover Size 8.5 x 11 inches (21.59 x 27.94 cm) Features 20 Unique & Relaxing Designs to Color for Adult Only This Coloring book Contains 20 hilarious Uncensored Swear Words (including F-words, C-words, etc.) Each Swear word is designed around Mandalas, Paisley Patterns, Flowers & more Each Coloring Page is designed for Laughing, Relaxing & Passing Time The Variety of Designs offer something for every skill level Your choice of coloring tools can be used (Gel Pens, Colored Pencils, Markers, Crayons, etc.) Each Coloring Page is Printed on One Side of white paper for best results. Examples of Cuss Words you can find in this Coloring Book "It Takes a Big Heart to Win Cases for Dipshits" "Clients Think "It's not my Fault", Lawyers Think "Zero Fucks Given"" "Verdict time, You Better Pray Motherfuckers" and more! These coloring books are the best funny gag gift ideas for White Elephant, Retirement, Birthdays, Christmas for social workers moms, dads, coworkers, colleagues, etc. Unleash your inner artist as you color this therapeutic antistress coloring book, perfect for getting rid of negative feelings & staying stress-free. TIME TO COLOR THE STRESS AWAY

Download or read book Montecore written by Jonas Hassen Khemiri and published by Knopf. This book was released on 2011-03-01 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At the start of this dazzlingly inventive novel from Jonas Hassen Khemiri, Abbas, a world-famous photographer and estranged father to a young novelist—also named Jonas Hassen Khemiri—is standing on a luxurious rooftop terrace in New York City. He is surrounded by rock stars, intellectuals, and political luminaries gathered to toast his fiftieth birthday. And yet how did Abbas, a dirt-poor Tunisian orphan and Swedish émigré, come to enjoy such success? Jonas is fresh off the publication of his first novel when answers to this question come in the form of an unexpected e-mail from Kadir, a lifelong friend of Abbas and an effervescent storyteller with delightfully anarchic linguistic idiosyncrasies. The portrait Kadir paints of Abbas—from a voluntarily mute boy who suffers constant night terrors, to a soulful young charmer, to a Swedish immigrant and political exile—proves to be vastly different from Jonas’s view of his father. As the two jagged versions reconcile in Kadir and Jonas’s impassioned correspondence, we’re given a portrayal of a man that is at once tender and feverishly imagined. With an arresting blend of humor and wit, Montecore marks the stateside arrival of an already acclaimed international novelist. Winner of the PO Enquist Literary Prize for accomplished European novelists under forty, Jonas Hassen Khemiri has created a world that is as heartbreaking as it is exhilarating. From the Hardcover edition.