Download or read book Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way written by Bruce Campbell and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2015-10-01 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What you're reading right now is known as the "cover copy," or “flap copy.” This is where the 84,951 words of my latest book are cooked down to 350 words or less to capture your imagination/download. I pondered how to do that. Should I cut to the chase and reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "the killer is Mr. Porter"? No. I have too much respect for you as an intelligent consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You clicked your way to this page, so you either: A. Know who I am. B. Like the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the cover. Or: C. Thought this was a secret link to Ashley Madison. Is it a sequel to my autobiography If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it much harder to write. Is it an "autobiographical novel"? Yes. I am the lead character in the story (coincidentally an actor), and I am a real person, and everything in the book actually happened - except for the stuff that didn't. The action revolves around my preparations for a pivotal role in the A-list relationship film, Let's Make Love! My Homeric attempt to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fair is hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production that becomes infected by something called the "B-movie virus" - symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting. From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. And if the 84,951 words are too time-consuming, there are lots and lots of cool graphics – all of which have been upgraded to vibrant color since the first publication. I hope you enjoy the book – and if you learn anything at all about making love, please share it with me! Regards, Bruce "Go Ahead and Call Me Ash" Campbell

Download or read book Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way written by Bruce Campbell and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What you're reading right now is known as the "flap copy." This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book, Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, are cooked down to fit in a 3 1⁄2-by-9 1⁄2-inch column. But how does one do that with a fictional story about a B movie actor's disastrous attempt to finally star in a big-budget Hollywood movie? Do you tantalize readers with snappy zingers like the one in chapter six where Biff the Wonder Boy says, "You may be bred in ol' Kentucky, but you're only a crumb up here"? Or do you reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "The killer is Mr. Potter!" I have too much respect for you as an attention-deficient consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You've already picked up the book, so you either: A. Know who I am B. Like the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the cover C. Have just discovered that the bookstore restroom is out of toilet paper Is this a relationship book? Well, if by "relationship book" you mean that the characters in it have relationships or are related to someone, then yes, absolutely. Will you learn how to pick up chicks? Good heavens, I can only hope so, though for best results in that department you should both read this book and be Brad Pitt. Is it a sequel to my autobiography, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it much harder to write. According to my publisher, I haven't "done" enough since 2001 to warrant another memoir. Is it an "autobiographical novel"? Yes. I'm the lead character in the story and I'm a real person and everything in the book actually happened, except for all the stuff that didn't. Mostly, the action revolves around my preparations for a pivotal role in director Mike Nichols's A-list relationship film Let's Make Love!, starring Richard Gere, Renée Zellweger, and Christopher Plummer. This is the kind of break most actors can only dream of. But my Homeric attempt to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fare is hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production that becomes infected by something called the "B movie virus," symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting. When someone fingers me as the guy responsible for the virus, thus ruining my good standing in the entertainment industry (hey, I said it was fiction, okay?), I become a fugitive racing against the clock, an innocent patsy battling the shadowy forces of the studio system to clear my name, save my career, and destroy the Death Star. In a jaw-dropping twist worthy of Hitchcock (page 274), you'll gasp as I turn the tables on Hollywood and attempt to salvage my reputation in a town where you're only as good as your last remake. From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. If you like John Grisham, Tom Clancy, or one too many run-on sentences, you'll absolutely love Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way. And if the 72,444 words are too time-consuming, there are lots and lots of cool graphics. Regards, Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell ~ Bruce Campbell's first book, If Chins Could Kill, was a major sleeper hit and became a New York Times and national bestseller. His immense energy and sharp wit are in evidence again in Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, a novel that will have readers laughing out loud.

Download or read book Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way written by Bruce Campbell and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2006-08-22 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this autobiographical novel, the King of "B" movie actors gives his legions of fans the inside view of his hilarious attempt to become an "A" list actor.

Download or read book If Chins Could Kill written by Bruce Campbell and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2015-10-01 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor Here we are together in the digital universe. Somehow, you've clicked yourself to this page. If you came here of your own free will and desire, you and I are going to get along just fine. Life is full of choices. Right now, yours is whether or not to download the autobiography of a mid-grade, kind of hammy actor. Am I supposed to know this guy? you think to yourself. No-and that's exactly the point. You can download a terabyte of books about famous actors and their high-falootin' shenanigans. I don't want to be a spoilsport, but we've all been down that road before. Scroll down to that Judy Garland biography. You know plenty about her already-great voice, troubled life. Scroll down a little further to the Charlton Heston book. Same deal. You know his story too-great voice, troubled toupee. The truth is that though you might not have a clue who I am-unless you watch cable very late at night-there are countless working stiffs like me out there, grinding away every day at the wheel of fortune. If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor documents my time in blue-collar Hollywood, where movies are cheap, the hours are long, and the filmmaking process can be very personal. To keep up with the times, I've digitized Chins. It was originally published in hardcover/analog fifteen years ago, which is a vast amount of time in the evolution of books and technology, and it was time to get current. The advance of technology is great for a book like this, which is jammed full of pictures. When it came out originally, the photographs all had to be black and white and moderately sized on the page. Now, any photo that was originally taken in color can strut its stuff. Overall, the resolution of the images is off-the-charts better than the first go-around. This is one "sequel" that I'm happy to be a part of, since we could make so many technical improvements. The process was very similar to restoring an old movie. Since I knew that it was going to be reissued, I also had a look at the story being told and decided to condense, move, or clarify some chapters, all or in part. I also tried to add a hint of historical context, since it has been a decade and a half since Chins first came out. I hope you enjoy it. Regards, Bruce Campbell

Download or read book Hail to the Chin written by Bruce Campbell and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2017-08-15 with total page 331 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times bestseller Introduction by New York Times bestselling author and famous minor television personality John Hodgman One of my dad’s favorite jokes about getting older was: “I went out for coffee when I was twenty-one and when I got back I was fifty-eight!” I get what he meant now. Time flies. My first book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a "B" Movie Actor, was published back in 2001 and it chronicles the adventures of a “mid-grade, kind of hammy actor" (my words), cutting his teeth on exploitation movies far removed from mainstream Hollywood. This next book, an “Act II” if you will, could be considered my “maturing years” in show business, when I began to say “no” more often and gravitated toward self-generated material. Taking stock in the overall quality of my life, I fled Los Angeles and moved to a remote part of Oregon to renew, regroup and reload. If that sounds tame, the journey from Evil Dead to Spider-Man to Burn Notice was long, with plenty of adventures/mishaps along the way. I never pictured myself hovering above Baghdad in a Blackhawk helicopter, facing a pack of wild dogs in Bulgaria, or playing an aging Elvis Presley with cancer on his penis - how can you predict this stuff? The sheer lunacy of show business is part of the fun for me and I hope you'll come along for the ride. – Bruce “Don’t Call Me Ash” Campbell

Download or read book The Cool Side of My Pillow written by Bruce Campbell and published by . This book was released on 2021-03-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Cool Side of My Pillow is a collection of essays by actor, cult icon and New York Times bestselling author Bruce Campbell, sharing some of his experiences and observations outside of the entertainment industry.In Campbell's own words, "What's it about? Mostly, things that matter to me, like putting in the effort, being honest and not treating the environment like it's the enemy. Is it self-help? I hope not, but you will find musings about fame, mysterious carvings, UFOs and my general disdain of loud noises. Is it political? If it is, I'll refund your money. There are no conspiracy theories in The Cool Side of my Pillow, just snarky humor and a sincere desire for us all to find peace on earth."

Download or read book Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way written by Bruce Campbell and published by Saint Martin's Paperbacks. This book was released on with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Evil Dead Companion written by Bill Warren and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2001-01-15 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "First published in Great Britain by Titan Books"--T.p. verso.

Download or read book House Divided written by Bruce Campbell and published by . This book was released on 2021-12 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a country torn between left and right, two politicians are about to make history. How? By working together! In a nutshell, that's the premise of this book.House Divided is a political satire, but it's really a political fantasy, because it takes two opposing candidates, who wouldn't normally be caught dead together, and challenges them to spend a weekend in the remote Oregon desert - hiking together, camping together, even getting wasted together!Having lived in rural Oregon for over twenty years, I can assure you that the characters presented in this fictional book are almost all based on actual people. In the Oregon backcountry, almost anything goes, so the idea that a "far-right" veteran and a "far-out" hippie might run for the same county commissioner seat is not as absurd as you might think.While this book was not written to solve the country's political problems, I do think we need to have a laugh at both sides and everything in-between - it's time to put the party back into politics!

Download or read book Maynard s House written by Herman Raucher and published by Diversion Books. This book was released on 2015-05-03 with total page 301 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Told with icy precision of eye and ear and a wink of wicked humor . . . First-rate haunted-house creepiness” from the bestselling author of Summer of ’42 (Kirkus Reviews). Austin Fletcher, a disturbed young Vietnam War vet, is willed a small house deep in the woods of northern Maine. He comes to own it by the generosity of a brother-in-arms—a fellow soldier and confidante, Maynard Whittier, killed in action by a wayward mortar shell. The rugged landscape of Maine is an intoxicating blend of claustrophobic interiors and endless frozen wastelands. Little by little, the mysterious force in the house asserts itself until Austin isn’t exactly sure what is in his mind and what is real. And just when our hero’s had enough and is ready to quit the place, a blizzard arrives and the real haunting begins. “An unsettling experience . . . Confounding, touching and well-written.” —The New York Times Book Review

Download or read book The Ranger written by Monica McCarty and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2010-12-28 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Chosen to help Robert the Bruce in his quest to free Scotland from English rule and claim his crown, the legendary team of warriors known as the Highland Guard battles on. Embedded deep behind enemy lines, Arthur “Ranger” Campbell is prized for his razor-sharp senses and his ability to blend into the shadows. But when Arthur infiltrates the clan of the chieftain who murdered his father, his heart is locked on revenge. Inside he faces unexpected resistance from the sweetest of obstacles—a honey-haired siren who is his enemy’s daughter. Intrigued by this ruggedly handsome newcomer to her father’s forces, the vivacious, enchanting Anna MacDougall is a woman whose skill at uncovering deception rivals Arthur’s own. Though yearning for a quiet life with a good man to love, Anna is drawn to this mysterious knight whose eyes devour her but whose words push her away. As danger, treachery, and the threat of looming war draw them closer into each other’s arms, a warrior made of steel must make a choice from the heart: love or revenge.

Download or read book The Many Lives of The Evil Dead written by Ron Riekki and published by McFarland. This book was released on 2019-03-04 with total page 221 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of the top-grossing independent films of all time, The Evil Dead (1981) sparked a worldwide cult following, resulting in sequels, remakes, musicals, comic books, conventions, video games and a television series. Examining the legacy of one of the all-time great horror films, this collection of new essays covers the franchise from a range of perspectives. Topics include The Evil Dead as punk rock cinema, the Deadites' (demon-possessed undead) place in the American zombie tradition, the powers and limitations of Deadites, evil as affect, and the films' satire of neoliberal individualism.

Download or read book Marie and Bruce written by Wallace Shawn and published by Dramatists Play Service, Inc.. This book was released on 1980 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE STORY: As the play begins Marie and Bruce, a young married couple, are still in bed, he sleeping soundly, she excoriating him and vowing that she will put an end to their marriage. It seems that she had thrown away his ancient typewriter, which

Download or read book If I Ran the Zoo written by Dr. Seuss and published by RH Childrens Books. This book was released on 2013-10-22 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Animals abound in Dr. Seuss’s Caldecott Honor–winning picture book If I Ran the Zoo. Gerald McGrew imagines the myriad of animals he’d have in his very own zoo, and the adventures he’ll have to go on in order to gather them all. Featuring everything from a lion with ten feet to a Fizza-ma-Wizza-ma-Dill, this is a classic Seussian crowd-pleaser. In fact, one of Gerald’s creatures has even become a part of the language: the Nerd!

Download or read book The Love God written by Martin Campbell and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2014-08-21 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of the greatest historical love stories the world has ever seen is not one that is taught in schools. Across much of the pre-Christian Roman Empire sexuality was expressed very differently, but even in Ancient Rome romance can be a dangerous thing when it is with the wrong person.Antinous is handsome, athletic and intelligent, but being the son of a Bithynian fruit trader, his ambition to get to Rome is very distant indeed - that is, until the great Emperor Hadrian appears in his home city of Claudiopolis and their eyes meet across a crowded square. That one look sparks a world of historical romance intrigue for the young Antinous, and he is taken to Rome to be inducted into the Paedagogium, where the noble sons of the city are trained for their future lives. But he can never quite shake his dreams of intimacy with the greatest man in Rome.Hadrian is equally intrigued by the young Bithynian. When the time comes for a tour of his empire, the emperor chooses Antinous as an advisor, and together they set off on the dangerous voyage to the cold lands of the North. Shipwrecked off the coast of Britannia and staying in the royal palace of the Atrebate king, the two men find themselves lost as historical romance gay lovers with passion not seen since the time of Alexander the Great and his general, Hephaestion.But their intimacy and Antinous' growing influence over Hadrian has aroused the ire of the most powerful woman in the Roman Empire: Hadrian's wife. Scorned in public and determined to uphold the traditions of Ancient Rome romance gay lovers feel for each other is swept aside in a plot to remove the low-born Bithynian from his new-found position of power.

Download or read book Rooms written by Lauren Oliver and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2014-09-23 with total page 234 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The New York Times bestselling author of Before I Fall and the Delirium trilogy makes her brilliant adult debut with this mesmerizing story in the tradition of The Lovely Bones, Her Fearful Symmetry, and The Ocean at the End of the Lane—a tale of family, ghosts, secrets, and mystery, in which the lives of the living and the dead intersect in shocking, surprising, and moving ways. Wealthy Richard Walker has just died, leaving behind his country house full of rooms packed with the detritus of a lifetime. His estranged family—bitter ex-wife Caroline, troubled teenage son Trenton, and unforgiving daughter Minna—have arrived for their inheritance. But the Walkers are not alone. Prim Alice and the cynical Sandra, long dead former residents bound to the house, linger within its claustrophobic walls. Jostling for space, memory, and supremacy, they observe the family, trading barbs and reminiscences about their past lives. Though their voices cannot be heard, Alice and Sandra speak through the house itself—in the hiss of the radiator, a creak in the stairs, the dimming of a light bulb. The living and dead are each haunted by painful truths that will soon surface with explosive force. When a new ghost appears, and Trenton begins to communicate with her, the spirit and human worlds collide—with cataclysmic results. Elegantly constructed and brilliantly paced, Rooms is an enticing and imaginative ghost story and a searing family drama that is as haunting as it is resonant.

Download or read book Army Of Darkness Omnibus Volume 2 written by James Kuhoric and published by Dynamite Entertainment. This book was released on 2017-03-01 with total page 426 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dynamite proudly presents the second volume of the acclaimed Army of Darkness series collecting the next 15 issues in one massive omnibus designed for reading (or, in this case, DEVOURING) a HUGE chunk of awesome Dynamite Comics in one sitting! Featuring Ash vs. the Classic Monsters (volume 1, issues 8-11), The Death of Ash (issues 12-13), From The Ashes (volume 2, issues 1-4), The Long Road Home (issues 5-8) and Home Sweet Hell (issues 9-12). Featuring the work of James Kuhoric (Freddy vs. Ash vs. Jason), Mike Raicht (Zombie), Kevin Sharpe (Nova), Pere Perez (Action Comics) and more. Also collecting a complete cover gallery showcasing the art of Arthur Suydam (Marvel Zombies), Sean Phillips (Marvel Zombies), Jae Lee (Stephen King's The Dark Tower), Tony Moore (The Walking Dead), Nick Bradshaw (X-Men), Stjepan Sejic (Witchblade) and many more!