Download or read book I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus written by S.G. Browne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-10-30 with total page 175 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping...he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice....

Download or read book I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus written by S.G. Browne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-10-30 with total page 203 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just in time for the holidays—a hilarious Christmas novella and sequel to the author’s highly acclaimed Breathers, “a zombie comedy with brains” (Kirkus Reviews). “One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping . . . he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice. . . .

Download or read book I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus written by Matt Mogk and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a new spin on a holiday classic that tells the story of a suburban zombie outbreak and the little boy who knows just what to do. When Johnny finds out that his mother has turned into a zombie and has attacked Santa Claus, he knows that it’s up to him to put the living dead (back) to rest. While the chaos spreads from the mall to the Christmas parade, Johnny finds his friends Glenn, Barb, and Ben, and they devise a plan to not only protect themselves—and their dog—but to make sure to get to Grandma’s house before the zombies take over town. While they’ve planned for the worst, nothing could prepare them for watching jolly old Saint Nick get devoured by mindless zombies. This clever take on a Christmas tradition is right up the alley of anyone who ever wondered what would happen if a zombie outbreak took place during the holiday season. I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a beautifully gory tale that’s sure to become a classic for fans of the holidays and the living dead.

Download or read book It s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies written by Michael P. Spradlin and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, andthe classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!

Download or read book Big Egos written by S.G. Browne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-08-06 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A young man is having an identity crisis while working as the head of the Investigations Department for the Los Angeles bioengineering firm Engineering Genetics Organizations and Systems. A quarter of the way into the twenty-first century, EGOS has developed and produced a groundbreaking technology in the form of a consumer product called, oddly enough, Egos. This product allows customers to become a fictional character or a dead celebrity for six to eight hours by injecting a DNA-laced cocktail into their brain stem, revolutionizing the concept of role-playing games. When a colleague stumbles upon an anomaly in a group of Egos that the unnamed protagonist has been injecting regularly for the past three years, the brass at EGOS waves it off as nothing to be worried about--except he is exhibiting behaviors that are in line with the reported anomaly. The truth is, he's started to lose the ability to separate fact from fiction. The more he continues to play the role of someone else, the less of him remains, as the lines of reality and fantasy continue to blur.

Download or read book Breathers written by S. G. Browne and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2011-03-03 with total page 211 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket, to the SPCA, to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.

Download or read book Lucky Bastard written by S.G. Browne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-06-18 with total page 369 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A radically funny, irreverent, satirical novel about a loan shark who is able to steal people's luck--perfect for fans of bestselling authors Christopher Moore and Chuck Palahniuk. Nick Monday is a private detective with a penchant for coffeehouse baristas and the ability to steal other people's luck. Politicians and celebrities. Lottery winners and game show contestants. Accident survivors and successful athletes. All it takes is a handshake and Nick walks away with their good fortune, which he sells on the black market to the highest bidder. But lately, business has been slow. So when the sexy daughter of San Francisco's mayor offers Nick $100,000 to find her father's stolen luck, Nick thinks this is his big break. But he soon ends up blackmailed by the feds, kidnapped by the Chinese mafia, and accosted by vegans and angry naked women with knives ... all while trying to save a ten-year-old kid with the purest luck he's ever seen. Hailed as "pitch-perfect" by The Washington Post and deemed "one of America's best satiric novelists" by Kirkus Reviews, Browne's masterful combination of humor and biting social commentary make for an irresistible read"--

Download or read book Parenting in the Zombie Apocalypse written by Steven J. Kirsh and published by McFarland. This book was released on 2019-05-17 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Parenting is difficult under the best of circumstances--but extremely daunting when humanity faces cataclysmic annihilation. When the dead rise, hardship, violence and the ever-present threat of flesh-eating zombies will adversely affect parents and children alike. Depending on their age, children will have little chance of surviving a single encounter with the undead, let alone the unending peril of the Zombie Apocalypse. The key to their survival--and thus the survival of the species--will be the caregiving they receive. Drawing on psychological theory and real-world research on developmental status, grief, trauma, mental illness, and child-rearing in stressful environments, this book critically examines factors influencing parenting, and the likely outcomes of different caregiving techniques in the hypothetical landscape of the living dead.

Download or read book Big Egos written by S.G. Browne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-08-06 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The brand-new novel from the author of Lucky Bastard and Breathers—“one of today’s very best writers” (Jonathan Maberry). Does your lifestyle not fit the person inside you? Then try someone else on for size! Call him whatever. Call him whomever. He can be any legally authorized fictional character or dead celebrity he wants for six to eight hours, simply by injecting a DNA-laced cocktail into his brain stem. It’s called Big Egos and it’s the ultimate role-playing fantasy from Engineering Genetics Organization and Systems (aka EGOS.) And, as one of the quality controllers for EGOS, he’s the ultimate ego-tripper, taking on more artificial identities than advisable—and having a hell of a time doing it. Problem is, he’s starting to lose the ability to separate fact from fiction. His every fantasy is the new reality. And the more roles he plays, the less of him remains. Sure, it’s dangerous. Yes, he’s probably losing his mind. Okay, hundreds of others could be at risk. But sometimes who you are isn’t good enough. And the truth is, reality is so overrated. . . . With his insightful wit, smart humor, and electrifying narrative, acclaimed author S. G. Browne takes readers on a satirical and provocative trip into the not-too-distant future, where, for some, pretending to be someone you’re not is just another day at the office.

Download or read book Fated written by S. G. Browne and published by Piatkus Books. This book was released on 2011 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over the past few thousand years, Fabio has come to hate his job. As Fate, he's in charge of assigning the fortunes and misfortunes that befall most of the human race - the 83 per cent who keep screwing things up. And with the steady rise in population since the first Neanderthal set himself on fire, he can't exactly take a vacation. Frustrated with his endless parade of drug addicts and career politicians, it doesn't help watching Destiny guide her people to Nobel Peace Prizes. To make matters worse, he has a five-hundred-year-old feud with Death, and his best friends are Sloth and Gluttony. And worst of all? He's just fallen in love with a human. Sara Griffen might be on Destiny's path, but Fabio keeps bumping into her - by accident at first, and then on purpose. Getting involved with her breaks Rule No. 1 - and about ten others - setting off some cosmic-sized repercussions that could strip him of his immortality...or lead to a fate worse than death.

Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror 24 written by Stephen Jones and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2013-10-03 with total page 366 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For nearly twenty-five years The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror has been the world's leading annual anthology dedicated solely to showcasing the best in contemporary horror fiction. Comprising the most outstanding new short fiction by both contemporary masters of horror and exciting newcomers, this multiple award-winning series also offers an overview of the year in horror, a comprehensive necrology of recent obituaries, and an indispensable directory of contact details for dedicated horror fans and writers. The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror remains the world's leading annual anthology dedicated solely to presenting the best in contemporary horror fiction. Praise for previous Mammoth Books of Best New Horror: 'Stephen Jones . . . has a better sense of the genre than almost anyone in this country.' Lisa Tuttle, The Times. 'The best horror anthologist in the business is, of course, Stephen Jones, whose Mammoth Book of Best New Horror is one of the major bargains of this as of any other year.' Roz Kavaney. 'An essential volume for horror readers.' Locus

Download or read book The Best Horror of the Year written by Ellen Datlow and published by Start Publishing LLC. This book was released on 2013-08-27 with total page 604 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Darkness, both literal and psychological, holds its own unique fascination. Despite our fears, or perhaps because of them, readers have always been drawn to tales of death, terror, madness, and the supernatural, and no more so than today when a wildly imaginative new generation of dark dreamers is carrying on in the tradition of Poe and Lovecraft and King, crafting exquisitely disturbing literary nightmares that gaze without flinching into the abyss—and linger in the mind long after. Multiple award-winning editor Ellen Datlow knows the darkest corners of fiction and poetry better than most. Once again, she has braved the haunted landscape of modern horror to seek out the most chilling new works by both legendary masters of the genre and fresh young talents. Here are twisted hungers and obsessions, human and otherwise, along with an unsettling variety of spine-tingling fears and fantasies. The cutting edge of horror has never cut deeper than in this comprehensive showcase of the very best the field has to offer. Enter at your own risk.

Download or read book Story Power written by Kate Farrell and published by Mango Media Inc.. This book was released on 2020-06-16 with total page 219 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A straightforward guide to creating a great story that keeps your audience riveted. The art of telling stories has been around as long as humans. And in today’s noisy, techy, automated world, storytelling is not only prevalent?it’s vital. Whether you're interested in enlivening verbal communication, building your business brand, making presentations, sharing family wisdom, or performing on stage, Story Power shows you how to make use of a good story. Telling stories is the most effective verbal communication?if you know how to use it. Story Power provides techniques for creating and framing personal stories alongside effective tips for telling them in any setting. Plus, this book models stories with unique storytelling examples, exercises, and prompts, as well as storytelling techniques for delivery in a spontaneous, authentic style. Story Power is an engaging, lively guide to the art of telling stories from author and librarian Kate Farrell, a seasoned storyteller and founder of the Word Weaving Storytelling Project. In Story Power, more than twenty skillful contributors with a range of diverse voices share their secrets to creating, crafting, and telling tales. In this book discover: How to share your own coming-of-age stories and family folklore The importance of a personal branding story and storytelling marketing Seven Steps to Storytelling, along with helpful tools, organizers, and media options With a foreword by New York Times bestselling, award-winning author Susan Wittig Albert Praise for Story Power “You can read a lot of books that tell you how to tell a story. Unlike them, Story Power illustrates the art, with twenty-one diverse voices and fascinating tales that entertain as you learn how to create and craft personal stories of all types.” —Nina Amir, bestselling author of How to Blog a Book, The Author Training Manual, and Creative Visualization for Writers “Mining her own experiences, Farrell offers small narrative gems alongside craft tips, commentary, and writing samples from an impressive list of acclaimed writers. Learn travel writing from Lisa Alpine, for example, or keys to crafting adventure stories from Mary Mackey, or personal branding from Marissa Moss . . . . Engaging and accessible, Story Power will help you jump-start and sustain your writing practice.” —Mary Volmer, author of Reliance, Illinois

Download or read book Less Than Hero written by S.G. Browne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-03-17 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With the razor-sharp satire that earned him rave reviews for Big Egos and Lucky Bastard, among others, S.G. Browne delivers another irresistible read, about an unlikely band of heroes who use their medical complications to gain fame, confront villains, and bring their own unique brand of justice to New York City. Faster than a spreading rash! More powerful than dry heaves! Able to put villains to sleep with a single yawn! Convulsions. Nausea. Headaches. Sudden weight gain. For the pharmaceutical soldiers on the front lines of medical science—volunteers who test experimental drugs for cash—these common side effects are a small price to pay to defend your right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of antidepressants. Lloyd Prescott, thirty-year-old professional guinea pig and victim of his own inertia, is the first to notice the bizarre, seemingly implausible consequences of years of testing not-quite-legal drugs: his lips go numb, he becomes overwhelmed with exhaustion, and instantly a stranger crumples into a slumbering heap before him. Under cover of night, Lloyd and his guinea pig friends band together to project their debilitating side effects onto petty criminals who prey upon the innocent. When a horrible menace with powers eerily similar to their own threatens the city, only one force can stop this evil: the handful of brave men who routinely undergo clinical trials. “One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne fills the prescription for a hilarious and biting commentary on our overmedicated society. Citizens, rest assured that tonight, no matter your ailment—anxiety, depression, super villains—there’s a pill to save the day.

Download or read book Just Be Claus written by Barbara M. Joosse and published by . This book was released on 2021 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A little boy named Claus worries that he is different from other kids: he likes to wear red all the time and his favorite hangout is the workshop with his grandmother. His grandmother tells him his differences make him special and a Christmas snowstorm helps Claus appreciate his talents.

Download or read book Shooting Monkeys in a Barrel written by S.G. Browne and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-03-27 with total page 157 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of Breathers, Fated, and Lucky Bastard comes a collection of ten dark and humorous tales about extraterrestrial sex toys, a family of luck poachers, a group of professional guinea pigs, the immortal personifications of the Seven Deadly Sins, and a zombie gigolo. Just to name a few. “A Zombie’s Lament”—A newly reanimated corpse attends Undead Anonymous meetings with other zombies and comes to terms with the reality of his new existence. “Softland”—A family of luck poachers living in central California attempts to turn around its fortunes from a deal gone bad. “My Ego Is Bigger than Yours”—A new designer drug reinvents role-playing games by allowing its users to temporarily become dead celebrities and fictional characters. “Dream Girls”—A futuristic tale of sexual obsession, extraterrestrial intelligence, the death of Marilyn Monroe, and the assassination of JFK. “Shooting Monkeys in a Barrel”—A writer suffering from writer’s block becomes addicted to the words he purchases from a drug dealer. “Captivity” —A lonely and horrifying look at what it might be like if you were a bottle of shampoo. “The Sodom and Gomorrah Shore”—The Seven Deadly Sins star in the original reality television show, set back during the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. “Homer’s Reprise”—A modern day story of Odysseus that blends Greek mythology with Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. “Dr. Lullaby”—A panhandler and professional guinea pig discovers that the pharmaceutical drugs he’s been testing have given him unusual side effects. “Zombie Gigolo”—A day in the life of a living corpse who provides a unique service for lonely and desperate female zombies.

Download or read book Apocalypse Yesterday written by Brock Adams and published by Crooked Lane Books. This book was released on 2020-09-08 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With his best and craziest days behind him, a Florida call center employee struggles through mind-numbing drudgery day after day--but he just might have a way to reclaim the madness and his former life. The zombie apocalypse is over. The humans have won. Life is back to normal. And Rip is bored as hell. It's not much of a life sitting in a call center in the poor town of Spanish Shanty, Florida, answering emails like a drone and listening to customer complaints. Rip was ruler of a tiny kingdom in the Lazy River waterpark, killing zombies by day and making passionate love at night. He misses the danger, the camaraderie, and the blistering love he once knew. He longs to feel Santana--his trusty machete--in his hand, and Davia--the fiercest woman alive--in his arms once again. He can still picture it-- life on the razor's edge--and he would do anything to get that feeling back. But what if Rip could get it back? He's totally desperate. Not normal desperate--more like ready-to-restart-the-apocalypse desperate. Condemning humanity to a repeat merely for an adrenaline rush is probably not a good idea. But life at the call center is nothing more than a slow death, and Rip might not be able to go on without trying to find out.