Download or read book How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You written by The Oatmeal and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-10-09 with total page 138 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!
Download or read book How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You written by The Oatmeal Staff and published by . This book was released on 2012-07-15 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Oatmeal 2013 Wall Calendar • The Oatmeal is one of the most popular Web comics online, getting an average of 4.6 million unique visitorsand more than 20 million page views a month. • Time magazine named TheOatmeal.com one of the best blogs of 2010. Based on Matthew Inman's hugely popular Web site and hisNew York Timesbest-selling book5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth,How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You 2013 Wall Calendarfeatures a quirky and humorous full-color comic each month along with a user-friendly grid. As a bonus, the calendar also includes a free, pull-out poster.
Download or read book Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby written by Matthew Inman and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2019-06-04 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog’s guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you’re not that big of a deal.
Download or read book My Dog The Paradox written by The Oatmeal and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 35 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”
Download or read book How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety written by Zachary Auburn and published by Crown. This book was released on 2016-10-04 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!
Download or read book 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth And Other Useful Guides written by The Oatmeal and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2010-10-01 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Sixtry of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.
Download or read book How to Pet a Cat written by Angela Staehling and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2022-03-08 with total page 81 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Keep your cat happy and pet them right with this cute and handy illustrated guide! Cats have quite a few opinions, but with easy-to-follow instructions and helpful diagrams, this book will teach you how—and how not—to illicit approving purrs, mews, and chirps. From "The Booty Lift Pet" to the "I Need That Catnip on My Desk Yesterday Pet," learn over 20 tips and tricks to be the person your cat wants you to be. With bonus insights into cat sounds, body language, and more—as well as charming, full-color illustrations—this fun, lighthearted book will delight cat lovers of all kinds! FUNNY AND RELATABLE: Everyone who has tried to pet a cat has experienced most if not all of these silly and sweet scenarios. SWEET AND EDUCATIONAL: While quirky, this book is still informative and educational. You may learn a thing or two, like why your cat loves having their face pet but will leave the room if you try to give their belly a rub. CUTE GIFT: With endearing illustrations and tongue-in-cheek advice, this is a wonderful gift for any cat owner or cat lover! Perfect for: • Cat lovers • Holiday and birthday gift shoppers • Those looking for a silly pick-me-up and something cute • For fans of How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, I Could Pee on This, and Herding Cats
Download or read book Cat Wars written by Peter P. Marra and published by Princeton University Press. This book was released on 2016-09-20 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why our cats are a danger to species diversity and human health In 1894, a lighthouse keeper named David Lyall arrived on Stephens Island off New Zealand with a cat named Tibbles. In just over a year, the Stephens Island Wren, a rare bird endemic to the island, was rendered extinct. Mounting scientific evidence confirms what many conservationists have suspected for some time—that in the United States alone, free-ranging cats are killing birds and other animals by the billions. Equally alarming are the little-known but potentially devastating public health consequences of rabies and parasitic Toxoplasma passing from cats to humans at rising rates. Cat Wars tells the story of the threats free-ranging cats pose to biodiversity and public health throughout the world, and sheds new light on the controversies surrounding the management of the explosion of these cat populations. This compelling book traces the historical and cultural ties between humans and cats from early domestication to the current boom in pet ownership, along the way accessibly explaining the science of extinction, population modeling, and feline diseases. It charts the developments that have led to our present impasse—from Stan Temple's breakthrough studies on cat predation in Wisconsin to cat-eradication programs underway in Australia today. It describes how a small but vocal minority of cat advocates has campaigned successfully for no action in much the same way that special interest groups have stymied attempts to curtail smoking and climate change. Cat Wars paints a revealing picture of a complex global problem—and proposes solutions that foresee a time when wildlife and humans are no longer vulnerable to the impacts of free-ranging cats.
Download or read book Your Cat Is Trying to Kill You a Coloring Book for People Who Fear Their Adorable Cats written by Straight Outta Color and published by . This book was released on 2019-08 with total page 62 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Looking for a gift for that friend with all the cats? You've been to that house and see those cats sneaking up on you. You've seen the scratch marks. That cat is definitely trying to kill them! Warn them with this hilarious adult coloring book. 30 high quality pages (one per paper to avoid bleed and keep all those pictures frame-able!)Grab your colored pencils (at least the ones the cats haven't scratched to death) and calm your nerves by coloring these killer cats!
Download or read book 404 Not Found written by The The Oatmeal and published by Oatmeal. This book was released on 2016-10-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: [This is] an adult coloring adventure book filled with mantis shrimp, angler fish, bear-o-dactyls, space cats, and other fantastical creatures from the wonderland of The Oatmeal.
Download or read book The Cat Owner s Manual written by Dr. David Brunner and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2004-08-01 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At last—a beginner’s guide to feline technology! The cat parent’s guide to common kitty quirks and what they really mean—featuring useful diagrams and hilarious insights! Scratch marks on your furniture. Dead mice on your doorstep. Stray hairs all over your clothes. It’s enough to make you cry out, “Why doesn’t my cat have an owner’s manual?” And now—finally!—she does. Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Cat Owner’s Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: • Which breeds interface best with dogs? • How can I maintain a quality exterior finish? • And why does my model always drink from the bathtub? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers here—courtesy of celebrated veterinarian Dr. David Brunner and acclaimed author Sam Stall. Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for both new and experienced cat owners.
Download or read book Save the Cat Writes a Novel written by Jessica Brody and published by Ten Speed Press. This book was released on 2018-10-09 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first novel-writing guide from the best-selling Save the Cat! story-structure series, which reveals the 15 essential plot points needed to make any novel a success. Novelist Jessica Brody presents a comprehensive story-structure guide for novelists that applies the famed Save the Cat! screenwriting methodology to the world of novel writing. Revealing the 15 "beats" (plot points) that comprise a successful story--from the opening image to the finale--this book lays out the Ten Story Genres (Monster in the House; Whydunit; Dude with a Problem) alongside quirky, original insights (Save the Cat; Shard of Glass) to help novelists craft a plot that will captivate--and a novel that will sell.
Download or read book How to Be Perfectly Unhappy written by The Oatmeal and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2017-10-31 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about “happiness,” and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.
Download or read book You Need More Sleep written by Francesco Marciuliano and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2015-09-01 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Life wisdom from the New York Times-bestselling author of I Could Pee on This: “Learn how adopting a cat-like state of mind will ensure you prosper.” —Catster Our feline friends have spent eons observing, napping, pondering, napping, and taking notes about the human condition. In between naps, they’ve realized that we humans could use some catlike guidance when it comes to handling the ups and downs of life. In this book they’ve condescended to share their invaluable wisdom in short advice columns such as “Always Stay at Least 30 Feet from a Loved One” and “Never Let Anyone Dress You.” Whether it’s coping with romance, surviving a social gathering, or clawing your way to the top of the corporate ladder only to realize you can’t get down, the cats in this book will have you relaxed and ready to take on the world! Just after one more nap.
Download or read book Nightbitch written by Rachel Yoder and published by Anchor. This book was released on 2021-07-20 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this blazingly smart and voracious debut novel, an artist turned stay-at-home mom becomes convinced she's turning into a dog. • "A must-read for anyone who can’t get enough of the ever-blurring line between the psychological and supernatural that Yellowjackets exemplifies." —Vulture One day, the mother was a mother, but then one night, she was quite suddenly something else... An ambitious mother puts her art career on hold to stay at home with her newborn son, but the experience does not match her imagination. Two years later, she steps into the bathroom for a break from her toddler's demands, only to discover a dense patch of hair on the back of her neck. In the mirror, her canines suddenly look sharper than she remembers. Her husband, who travels for work five days a week, casually dismisses her fears from faraway hotel rooms. As the mother's symptoms intensify, and her temptation to give in to her new dog impulses peak, she struggles to keep her alter-canine-identity secret. Seeking a cure at the library, she discovers the mysterious academic tome which becomes her bible, A Field Guide to Magical Women: A Mythical Ethnography, and meets a group of mommies involved in a multilevel-marketing scheme who may also be more than what they seem. An outrageously original novel of ideas about art, power, and womanhood wrapped in a satirical fairy tale, Nightbitch will make you want to howl in laughter and recognition. And you should. You should howl as much as you want.
Download or read book Save the Cat written by Blake Snyder and published by . This book was released on 2005 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This ultimate insider's guide reveals the secrets that none dare admit, told by a show biz veteran who's proven that you can sell your script if you can save the cat!
Download or read book Crafting with Cat Hair written by Kaori Tsutaya and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2013-05-21 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting with Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!
