Download or read book Has Anyone Seen My Pants written by Sarah Colonna and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-03-31 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times bestselling author of Life as I Blow It Sarah Colonna is back with a hilarious, honest look at life in her late thirties—in all its messy, pants-missing glory. How does a gal with a successful career, great friends, and a razor-sharp wit find herself wandering pants-less through the hallways of a casino hotel in Iowa on New Year’s Eve? Ask Sarah Colonna. Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah’s signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart—not to mention your pants.
Download or read book Who Wet My Pants written by Bob Shea and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2019-09-17 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this hilarious tale of blame, compassion, and forgiveness, a very embarrassed bear is reminded that accidents can happen--but with the support of good friends, life goes on. Reuben the bear's got donuts for everyone in his scout troop, but his friends are all staring at something else: there's a wet spot on Reuben's pants, and it's in a specific area. "WHO WET MY PANTS?" he shouts, and a blame game starts. His buddies try to reassure him there was no crime. Just an accident. It could happen to anyone! But as all the clues begin to point in Reuben's own direction as the culprit, Reuben must come to terms with the truth. Who Wet My Pants? isn't a potty-training book. It's a witty and wise story about embarrassment and anger, empathy and acceptance, and ultimately...forgiveness.
Download or read book Mom Have You Seen My Leather Pants written by Craig A. Williams and published by Crown. This book was released on 2009-01-21 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At the height of the hair-metal craze, when the airwaves were dominated by ear-shredding guitar solos played by men clad in lace gloves, cowboy boots, and tight denim, when Aqua Net was more precious than gold, when MTV actually played music videos and not just shows like Pimp My Locker, a band named Onyxxx (one X wasn’t nearly enough) came close to making it big. What stopped Onyxxx from taking its place beside legendary bands like Poison, Guns N’ Roses, and Mötley Crüe? Sex, drugs, groupies, . . . and geometry homework. Craig Williams, Onyxxx’s red-haired, head-banging guitarist, tells his tale of near rock stardom in Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants? With a manager who was a dead ringer for Loni Anderson, club owners willing to offer sexual favors and limo rides, and scads of California girls lifting their shirts and screaming their names, Craig knew what it was to be a star—until he realized that Onyxxx wasn’t the second coming of Warrant. They just weren’t that good. And Craig wasn’t having fun anymore. A music memoir for any child of the 1980s and ’90s, a nostalgic trip down Sunset Strip, and a hilarious tribute to a musical era we can only hope will never have a resurgence, Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants? will give you an appetite for destruction.
Download or read book Life As I Blow It written by Sarah Colonna and published by Villard. This book was released on 2012-02-07 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this wickedly funny and irreverent memoir, Chelsea Lately writer and comedian Sarah Colonna opens up about love, life, and pursuing her dreams . . . and then screwing it all up. Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life. From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof. Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler
Download or read book I Just Want My Pants Back written by David Rosen and published by Crown. This book was released on 2007-08-07 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now a new MTV series, from acclaimed director and executive producer Doug Liman (“Mr. and Mrs. Smith, “Swingers,” “Go,” “The Bourne Identity”) Jason Strider is a twentysomething young man with an English degree from an Ivy League university, a very small apartment in New York, a vapid job as a receptionist at a casting agency—and no particular idea what to do with his life. On most evenings he gets stoned and goes out, sometimes with his long-time best friend and wingman Tina and sometimes alone, if not to get laid then at least to get hammered enough to really regret it the next day and be late for work. Then one night Jason has athletic, appliance-assisted intercourse with a cute girl named Jane—and ends up lending her his favorite Dickies jeans. Many unanswered e-mails and text messages later, he is reduced to the plaint “I just want my pants back.” How he does, in a most unexpected way, find those pants and how he is forced to face his immaturity—and mortality—are at the heart of this smart, raunchily comic and deeply affecting novel.
Download or read book Flying by the Seat of Your Pants written by Harry Oliver and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-01-04 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Let's "cut to the chase" and "make no bones about it"-this book will have you "pleased as punch." Sowing your wild oats, throwing in the towel, painting the town red...Harry Oliver reveals the fascinating stories behind these and other strange turns of phrase steeped in the weird and wonderful history and traditions of everyday life. From quirky terms to street and city names and more, this book answers the questions you never thought to ask. ? What ancient empire coined the phrase "green with envy"? ? Who was the first person to "get someone's goat"? ? Which writer first penned, "I'll eat my hat!"
Download or read book Oh No Where are my Pants written by Lee Bennett Hopkins and published by StarWalk Kids Media. This book was released on 2014-08-30 with total page 35 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It was simply the worst the most terrible day. Nothing but NOTHING was going my way. If you've ever wondered whether anyone else knows what it's like to have a really bad day, this special collection of poignant and funny poems is for you.
Download or read book There s a Hedgehog in My Pants written by Amy Harrop and published by . This book was released on 2019 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "In this outrageously funny, far-fetched and ultimately kind-hearted story about a hedgehog who has moved in, uninvited, to a cosy new home, a boy gets more than he bargained for during a family camping holiday"--Publisher information.
Download or read book I Forgot My Pants written by Donald Batey and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2011-08-02 with total page 65 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THIS BOOK, I FORGOT MY PANTS IS A COLLECTION OF POEMS COLLECTED OVER TIME FROM MY LIFE INSPIRED BY MY WIFE ANNETTA AND BY VARIOUS OTHER SOURCES THROUGHOUT MY LIFE. THIS BOOK HAS A WIDE RANGE OF POETRY STRETCHING THOUGH MANY SUBJECTS. THIS BOOK HARKENS BACK TO THE OLD STYLE OF POETRY, WHEN POETRY WAS ABOUT RHYMING, YOU WILL NOT FIND PROSE HERE. IT HAS BEEN ENJOYABLE COMPILING THIS POETRY AND I HOPE THAT IT IS AS ENJOYABLE IN THE READING.
Download or read book I Have Ants in My Pants written by Julia Cook and published by National Center for Youth Issues. This book was released on 2020-08-27 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Control your wiggles and be the BOSS of your ants. In I Have Ants in My Pants, Julia Cook helps normalize the feeling many kids have when they struggle to control their wiggles and provides strategies for improving impulse control. Some children just can't sit still no matter how hard they try. And Louis is no exception. He accidentally kicks his friend during story time. He can't stand still in the lunch line. And he wiggles in his seat at the movie theater. Everyone keeps telling him he has ants in his pants, but Louis doesn't see any ants! Louis' mom explains that this means he wiggles a lot, and she teaches him a special tool, the Wiggle Dance. Wiggle and jiggle. Jump up and down. Shake your hands and turn around. Take a deep breath. Scrunch up your nose. Wobble your knees and wiggle your toes. With a little practice and a few helpful tools, Louis learns that he can calm his wiggles and become the boss of the ants in his pants!
Download or read book Life is Short Wear Your Party Pants written by Loretta Laroche and published by Hay House, Inc. This book was released on 2004-02-01 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Loretta La Roche has helped millions of people find ways to lighten up and overcome stress. Now, in Life Is Short—Wear Your Party Pants, she gives you the tools you need to not only reduce feelings of tension, but also to bring joy, passion, and gusto into your life. Her techniques are a brilliant blend of old-world common sense and the most contemporary research in brain chemistry, psychology, and mind-body studies. Loretta gives you dozens of proven techniques for recognizing the ten simple truths that will lead you to an intense, happy, successful life: resilience, living in the moment, optimism, acceptance, humor, creativity, moderation, responsibility, meaning, and connection. Loretta’s wisdom evolved from her own life—one filled with the demands of being a single mother of three; of starting her own business when she was broke; and of the wacky invasiveness of her Italian family. She’s like all of us: real, flawed, stressed out, and on edge. Her magic comes from an ability to not take herself too seriously, and to always shift her focus away from the self-destructive and toward the truly important things in life. In her work, Loretta has seen tens of thousands of people who live their lives as if they’re sitting in a waiting room, hoping that their turn comes up next. This book will show you that life is not something to be endured, but is something to be truly appreciated. We need to remember how to access our inner abundance, which allows us to be heart-centered, joy-filled human beings. As Loretta says: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift—that’s why they call it the present."
Download or read book She Wears the Pants written by Yuko Takada and published by Tuttle Publishing. This book was released on 2015-05-12 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sew edgy, urban clothes with this stylish sewing book and add a touch of originality to your wardrobe. More and more women are opting to make their own clothes, but most of the books on the market emphasize girly, feminine designs. She Wears the Pants is the first Japanese sewing book (in English) to focus on the increasingly popular "borrowed–from–the–boys" look. Already one of the best–known and reviewed sewing books in Japan, this sporty addition to the sew–it–yourself craze is poised to take the American DIY sewing market by storm. Sometimes women are in the mood for clothes with strong, clean lines and casual sophistication—polish and simplicity without the frills. She Wears the Pants is the book for those times. A graduate of the Bunka Fashion Institute, Yuko Takada provides patterns and instructions for making twenty spare and streamlined wardrobe items, including: Versatile tops that can be either casual or dressy Jackets that are timeless and unique Dresses and skirts that are straight-line or draped Three different pants lengths, from culottes to full-length trousers And much, much more! Patterns can be easily adjusted to suit any body size, and Takada shows readers how to select inexpensive, readily available fabrics and transform them into an elegant new wardrobe. Understated never looked so good!
Download or read book Take Off Your Pants written by Libbie Hawker and published by Running Rabbit Press. This book was released on 2015-03-10 with total page 73 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When it comes to writing books, are you a “plotter” or a “pantser?” Is one method really better than the other? In this instructional ebook, author Libbie Hawker explains the benefits and technique of planning a story before you begin to write. She’ll show you how to develop a foolproof character arc and plot, how to pace any book for a can’t-put-down reading experience, and how to ensure that your stories are complete and satisfying without wasting time or words. Hawker’s outlining technique works no matter what genre you write, and no matter the age of your audience. If you want to improve your writing speed, increase your backlist, and ensure a quality book before you even write the first word, this is the how-to book for you. Take off your pants! It’s time to start outlining.
Download or read book Has Anyone Seen My Toes written by Christopher Buckley and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-09-06 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: During the pandemic, an aging screenwriter is holed up in a coastal South Carolina town with his beloved second wife, Peaches. He's been binge-eating for a year and developed a notable rapport with the local fast-food chain Hippo King. He struggles to work on a ludicrous screenplay about a Nazi attempt to kidnap FDR and, naturally, an article for Etymology Today on English words of Carthaginian origin. He thinks he has Covid. His wife thinks he is losing his mind. In short, your typical pandemic worries. Things were going from bad to worse even before his doctor suggested a battery of brain tests. He knows what that means: dementia! But even in these scary times, there are plenty of things to distract him. His iPhone is fat-shaming him. He's been trying to read Proust and thinks the French novelist missed his true calling as a parfumier. And he's discovered nefarious Russian influence on the local coroner's race. Why is Putin so keen to control who decides who died peacefully and who by foul play in Pimento County? Could it be the local military base?--
Download or read book Ants in My Pants written by and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2001 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mother wants Jacob to put on clothes to go shopping, but he wants to stay home and play, and describes imaginary animals that are keeping him from getting dressed.
Download or read book Girls in Pants The Third Summer of the Sisterhood written by Ann Brashares and published by Dell Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2007-07-10 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The third novel in the wildly popular #1 New York Times bestselling Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series, from the author of The Whole Thing Together and The Here and Now. It’s the summer before the sisterhood departs for college . . . their last real summer together before they head off to start their grown-up lives. It’s the time when Lena, Tibby, Bridget, and Carmen need their Pants the most. Pants = love. Love your pals. Love yourself. “A fun and poignant coming-of-age story." —Entertainment Weekly “Readers of the other books won’t be disappointed.” —Booklist, Starred “A treat for anyone.” —Los Angeles Times “These are friends worth having.” —Chicago Tribune
Download or read book By the Seat of My Pants written by Buddy Killen and published by . This book was released on 1993 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "In the world of country music, Buddy Killen is one of Nashville's biggest starmakers. In the course of his long career, beginning in the 1950s and continuing to the present day, he has worked with the likes of Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Elvis Presley, Dolly Parton, George Jones, Roger Miller, Billy Ray Cyrus, and many, many more. Now the man known as "the Quincy Jones of country music" tells all about his life and career in a personal and revealing story in the tradition of Ralph Emery's best-selling Memories. It is a rare behind-the-scenes look at the country music industry from someone who has seen the music business from the front offices to the back stages." "Country music is currently estimated to be a $3-billion-a-year business, with record sales topping $700 million annually. Buddy Killen, former owner of Tree International, is one of the megastars of that industry, having written, published, and produced more hit songs than anyone in Nashville. From publishing Elvis Presley's first million-dollar record, "Heartbreak Hotel," to signing up a fourteen-year-old Dolly Parton, to producing the records of such diverse recording stars as the Allman Brothers, Joe Tex, and Exile, Killen has seen, heard, and done it all." "Killen's story begins in a rat-infested shack in deep-Depression rural South, where Buddy was one of a family of eight children. After early years of struggle, he landed a job as a touring musician, playing with a number of country music's great performers, including one of the most famous and influential personalities in country music history, Hank Williams." "Looking back on a career spanning over forty years, Killen goes behind the myths to explore the truth of legends, revealing the secret and personal behavior of some of country music's most renowned greats, past and present. Like a Who's Who of contradictions of private acts and public image, Killen reveals the on-stage versus back-stage personalities of some of country's most beloved legends, stars such as Gentleman Jim Reeves, Patsy Cline, Johnny Paycheck, Dottie West, and George Jones." "By the Seat of My Pants is not only an exciting look at the nation's hottest entertainment field by one of Nashville's key players and ultimate insiders, but a compelling human interest story that personifies the triumph of the human spirit."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved
