Download or read book Grandad Jokes 3000 Jokes on Trump and Other Nonsense written by Richard Seltzer and published by BookLocker.com, Inc.. This book was released on 2022-11-20 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 3000 original jokes grouped as: Trump and Company Nonsensical Science, Philosophy, History, and Religion Letter, Number, and Grammar Play Speaking in Tongues - Word Play in Two Languages Never Grow Up - General Fun Bedtime Whimsy and Romance Pithy jokes for every taste and mood and occasion.

Download or read book Pretty Good Joke Book written by Garrison Keillor and published by Blackstone Publishing. This book was released on 2021-08-10 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Download or read book 3000 Jokes 2997 Laughs written by Mike Haskins and published by Portico. This book was released on 2017-06-12 with total page 590 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An enormous collection of over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion. Jokes range from quick-fire one-liners and observations to rambling yarns, and from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion, from the best man’s speech to the sales conference, or just for swapping around the pub table, and it’s arranged by subject matter so it’s easy to find just the right joke. Unless you're a child, because this book is definitely for adults only! This hilarious book will appeal both to people who want to find a specific joke for a specific event, and to anyone who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. Jokes include: • What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. • What did the slug say to the snail? ‘Big Issue?’ Word count: 200,000 words

Download or read book The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes written by Ian Allen and published by Portico. This book was released on 2013-08-08 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!

Download or read book To Shake the Sleeping Self written by Jedidiah Jenkins and published by Convergent Books. This book was released on 2018-10-02 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “With winning candor, Jedidiah Jenkins takes us with him as he bicycles across two continents and delves deeply into his own beautiful heart.”—Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things On the eve of turning thirty, terrified of being funneled into a life he didn’t choose, Jedidiah Jenkins quit his dream job and spent sixteen months cycling from Oregon to Patagonia. He chronicled the trip on Instagram, where his photos and reflections drew hundreds of thousands of followers, all gathered around the question: What makes a life worth living? In this unflinchingly honest memoir, Jed narrates his adventure—the people and places he encountered on his way to the bottom of the world—as well as the internal journey that started it all. As he traverses cities, mountains, and inner boundaries, Jenkins grapples with the question of what it means to be an adult, his struggle to reconcile his sexual identity with his conservative Christian upbringing, and his belief in travel as a way to wake us up to life back home. A soul-stirring read for the wanderer in each of us, To Shake the Sleeping Self is an unforgettable reflection on adventure, identity, and a life lived without regret. Praise for To Shake the Sleeping Self “[Jenkins is] a guy deeply connected to his personal truth and just so refreshingly present.”—Rich Roll, author of Finding Ultra “This is much more than a book about a bike ride. This is a deep soul deepening us. Jedidiah Jenkins is a mystic disguised as a millennial.”—Tom Shadyac, author of Life’s Operating Manual “Thought-provoking and inspirational . . . This uplifting memoir and travelogue will remind readers of the power of movement for the body and the soul.”—Publishers Weekly

Download or read book So You ve Been Publicly Shamed written by Jon Ronson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2015-03-31 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now a New York Times bestseller and from the author of The Psychopath Test, a captivating and brilliant exploration of one of our world's most underappreciated forces: shame. 'It's about the terror, isn't it?' 'The terror of what?' I said. 'The terror of being found out.' For the past three years, Jon Ronson has travelled the world meeting recipients of high-profile public shamings. The shamed are people like us - people who, say, made a joke on social media that came out badly, or made a mistake at work. Once their transgression is revealed, collective outrage circles with the force of a hurricane and the next thing they know they're being torn apart by an angry mob, jeered at, demonized, sometimes even fired from their job. A great renaissance of public shaming is sweeping our land. Justice has been democratized. The silent majority are getting a voice. But what are we doing with our voice? We are mercilessly finding people's faults. We are defining the boundaries of normality by ruining the lives of those outside it. We are using shame as a form of social control. Simultaneously powerful and hilarious in the way only Jon Ronson can be, So You've Been Publicly Shamed is a deeply honest book about modern life, full of eye-opening truths about the escalating war on human flaws - and the very scary part we all play in it.

Download or read book Pimps Hos Playa Hatas and All the Rest of My Hollywood Friends written by John Leguizamo and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fans of John Leguizamo's smash-hit one-man shows (Mambo Mouth, Spic-o-rama, Freak, and Sexaholix) have already gotten a glimpse into his life, but this book tells the whole story, carrying readers along on a wild journey from his childhood in Queens to his current home at the top of the Hollywood pyramid. An acclaimed director, producer, and play-wright, and one of the highest-paid Latin actors in the world, Leguizamo shares the stories behind his many roles—what inspired them and what transpired as he created them—while dishing on his personal relationships with his family, friends, and celebrity colleagues. Here is both an intimate self-portrait and a unique behind-the-scenes look at the magic and chaos of stardom, a keenly intelligent and insanely funny book that celebrates a remarkably talented artist's greatest achievement: growing up Latino in America and succeeding on his own terms.

Download or read book The Voices We Carry written by J. S. Park and published by Moody Publishers. This book was released on 2020-05-05 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Reclaim Your Headspace and Find Your One True Voice As a hospital chaplain, J.S. Park encountered hundreds of patients at the edge of life and death, listening as they urgently shared their stories, confessions, and final words. J.S. began to identify patterns in his patients’ lives—patterns he also saw in his own life. He began to see that the events and traumas we experience throughout life become deafening voices that remain within us, even when the events are far in the past. He was surprised to find that in hearing the voices of his patients, he began to identify his own voices and all the ways they could both harm and heal. In The Voices We Carry, J.S. draws from his experiences as a hospital chaplain to present the Voices Model. This model explores the four internal voices of self-doubt, pride, people-pleasing, and judgment, and the four external voices of trauma, guilt, grief, and family dynamics. He also draws from his Asian-American upbringing to examine the challenges of identity and feeling “other.” J.S. outlines how to wrestle with our voices, and even befriend them, how to find our authentic voice in a world of mixed messages, and how to empower those who are voiceless. Filled with evidence-based research, spiritual and psychological insights, and stories of patient encounters, The Voices We Carry is an inspiring memoir of unexpected growth, humor, and what matters most. For those wading through a world of clamor and noise, this is a guide to find your clear, steady voice.

Download or read book The Keillor Reader written by Garrison Keillor and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-05-01 with total page 392 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stories, essays, poems, and personal reminiscences from the sage of Lake Wobegon When, at thirteen, he caught on as a sportswriter for the Anoka Herald, Garrison Keillor set out to become a professional writer, and so he has done—a storyteller, sometime comedian, essayist, newspaper columnist, screenwriter, poet. Now a single volume brings together the full range of his work: monologues from A Prairie Home Companion, stories from The New Yorker and The Atlantic, excerpts from novels, newspaper columns. With an extensive introduction and headnotes, photographs, and memorabilia, The Keillor Reader also presents pieces never before published, including the essays “Cheerfulness” and “What We Have Learned So Far.” Keillor is the founder and host of A Prairie Home Companion, celebrating its fortieth anniversary in 2014. He is the author of nineteen books of fiction and humor, the editor of the Good Poems collections, and a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.

Download or read book Ramble Book Musings on Childhood Friendship Family and 80s Pop Culture written by Adam Buxton and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2020-09-03 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A RADIO 4 BOOK OF THE WEEK ‘An affectionate and revealing account ... Funny, sad, real, rueful.’ The Times ‘Warm, rambling and self-aware’ Guardian The long-awaited, rambling, tender, and very funny memoir from Adam Buxton

Download or read book Reason written by Robert B. Reich and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2005-03-08 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For anyone who believes that liberal isn’t a dirty word but a term of honor, this book will be as revitalizing as oxygen. For in the pages of Reason, one of our most incisive public thinkers, and a former secretary of labor mounts a defense of classical liberalism that’s also a guide for rolling back twenty years of radical conservative domination of our politics and political culture. To do so, Robert B. Reich shows how liberals can: .Shift the focus of the values debate from behavior in the bedroom to malfeasance in the boardroom .Remind Americans that real prosperity depends on fairness .Reclaim patriotism from those who equate it with pre-emptive war-making and the suppression of dissent If a single book has the potential to restore our country’s good name and common sense, it’s this one.

Download or read book Yes We Still Can written by Dan Pfeiffer and published by Biteback Publishing. This book was released on 2018-06-19 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Barack Obama's former communications director comes a colourful account of how politics, the media, and the internet changed during the Obama presidency and how Democrats can fight back in the Trump era. The 'Decade of Obama' (2007—2017) was one of massive change that rewrote the rules of politics in ways that are only now beginning to be understood. Which is why all pundits got the 2016 presidential election wrong). Yes We (Still) Can looks at how Obama navigated the forces that allowed Trump to win the White House, becoming one of the most consequential presidents in American history, why Trump surprised everyone, and how Democrats can come out on top in the long run. Part political memoir, part blueprint for progressives in the Trump era, Yes We (Still) Can is an insider's take on the crazy politics of our time. Pfeiffer, one of Barack Obama's longest-serving advisors, reveals never-before-told stories ranging from Obama's presidential campaigns to his time in the White House, providing readers with an in-depth, behind-the-scenes look at life on the front line of politics.

Download or read book Whad Ya Know written by Michael Feldman and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2009-05-01 with total page 498 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A brand new bathroom reader collection, from the beloved trivia voice of public radio. SO...DID YOU KNOW THAT: 53% of American workers feel they work "with a bunch of monkeys." (What the monkeys think, we don't know.) During shaky economic times, lipstick sales go up. The longest conflict in American history was fought over a pig. Washington state has the best-dressed State Troopers. AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU NOW KNOW THAT?! If you'd love to quiz yourself about what you know, and then fill your brain with thousands of fascinating and highly useful facts like these, look no further. (And as an added bonus, you'll get jokes and stories too!) Every weekend, radio listeners across the nation delight in the facts and fun of the hit show Whad'Ya Know? with Michael Feldman. Now, for the first time, Michael collects the greatest trivia, quizzes, stories, and fun facts just for you. Every weekend, thousands of public radio listeners across the nation delight in the facts and fun of the hit PRI show Whad'Ya Know? with Michael Feldman. Now, for the first time Michael collects the greatest trivia, quizzes, stories, and fun facts from the show in Whad'Ya Know?. With features perfectly sized for spending a little time on the throne, Whad'Ya Know? contains sections that fans of the show will be sure to recognize, such as: Things You Should Have Learned in School (Had You Been Paying Attention) The Daily Briefing Thanks for the Memos The Best of the Best And much more If your answer to "Whad'Ya Know?" is "not much," get ready to become the smartest person on the block... or at least the one that knows the most stuff.

Download or read book Locked in the Cabinet written by Robert B. Reich and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2013-09-04 with total page 369 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Locked in the Cabinet is a close-up view of the way things work, and often don't work, at the highest levels of government--and a uniquely personal account by the man whose ideas inspired and animated much of the Clinton campaign of 1992 and who became the cabinet officer in charge of helping ordinary Americans get better jobs. Robert B. Reich, writer, teacher, social critic--and a friend of the Clintons since they were all in their twenties--came to be known as the "conscience of the Clinton administration and one of the most successful Labor Secretaries in history. Here is his sometimes hilarious, sometimes poignant chronicle of trying to put ideas and ideals into practice. With wit, passion, and dead-aim honesty, Reich writes of those in Washington who possess hard heads and soft hearts, and those with exactly the opposite attributes. He introduces us to the career bureaucrats who make Washington run and the politicians who, on occasion, make it stop; to business tycoons and labor leaders who clash by day and party together by night; to a president who wants to change America and his opponents (on both the left and the right) who want to keep it as it is or return it to where it used to be. Reich guides us to the pinnacles of power and pretension, as bills are passed or stalled, reputations built or destroyed, secrets leaked, numbers fudged, egos bruised, news stories spun, hypocrisies exposed, and good intentions occasionally derailed. And to the places across America where those who are the objects of this drama are simply trying to get by--assembly lines, sweatshops, union halls, the main streets of small towns and the tough streets of central cities. Locked in the Cabinet is an intimate odyssey involving a memorable cast--a friend who is elected President of the United States, only to discover the limits of power; Alan Greenspan, who is the most powerful man in America; and Newt Gingrich, who tries to be. Plus a host of others: White House staffers and cabinet members who can't find "the loop ; political consultant Dick Morris, who becomes "the loop ; baseball players and owners who can't agree on how to divide up $2 billion a year; a union leader who accuses Reich of not knowing what a screwdriver looks like; a heretofore invisible civil servant deep in the Labor Department whose brainchild becomes the law of the land; and a wondrous collection of senators, foreign ministers, cabinet officers, and television celebrities. And it is also an odyssey for Reich's wife and two young sons, who learn to tolerate their own cabinet member but not to abide Washington. Here is Reich--determined to work for a more just society, laboring in a capital obsessed with exorcising the deficit and keeping Wall Street happy--learning that Washington is not only altogether different from the world of ordinary citizens but ultimately, and more importantly, exactly like it: a world in which Murphy's Law reigns alongside the powerful and the privileged, but where hope amazingly persists. There are triumphs here to fill a lifetime, and frustrations to fill two more. Never has this world been revealed with such richness of evidence, humor, and warmhearted candor.

Download or read book The Challenge of Crime in a Free Society written by United States. President's Commission on Law Enforcement and Administration of Justice and published by . This book was released on 1967 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This report of the President's Commission on Law Enforcement and Administration of Justice -- established by President Lyndon Johnson on July 23, 1965 -- addresses the causes of crime and delinquency and recommends how to prevent crime and delinquency and improve law enforcement and the administration of criminal justice. In developing its findings and recommendations, the Commission held three national conferences, conducted five national surveys, held hundreds of meetings, and interviewed tens of thousands of individuals. Separate chapters of this report discuss crime in America, juvenile delinquency, the police, the courts, corrections, organized crime, narcotics and drug abuse, drunkenness offenses, gun control, science and technology, and research as an instrument for reform. Significant data were generated by the Commission's National Survey of Criminal Victims, the first of its kind conducted on such a scope. The survey found that not only do Americans experience far more crime than they report to the police, but they talk about crime and the reports of crime engender such fear among citizens that the basic quality of life of many Americans has eroded. The core conclusion of the Commission, however, is that a significant reduction in crime can be achieved if the Commission's recommendations (some 200) are implemented. The recommendations call for a cooperative attack on crime by the Federal Government, the States, the counties, the cities, civic organizations, religious institutions, business groups, and individual citizens. They propose basic changes in the operations of police, schools, prosecutors, employment agencies, defenders, social workers, prisons, housing authorities, and probation and parole officers.

Download or read book Shakespeare s Twin Sister written by Richard Seltzer and published by All Things That Matter Press. This book was released on 2021-08-06 with total page 234 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Shakespeare's twin sister wakes up in the body of a 99-year-old woman in a nursing home in 1987. She has quite a tale to tell: -- her coming-of-age story, posing as a boy to get an education, -- twins separated at birth sorting out the mystery of their otherworldly connection to one another, -- a lifelong three-way love story, -- soul projection and transference linking individuals to one another and connecting past to present, -- and the story of a young reporter who falls in love with the soul he finds in the body of an old and dying woman. As a cross-dressing sword-fighting teenager, Kate beats Mercutio, captain of the King's Musketeers, in a duel in Paris. As Will's double and writing partner, Kate enables him to do the work of two geniuses. This outlandish view of Shakespeare's life and times stays true to the facts, while presenting explanations that are intriguingly plausible

Download or read book The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind written by Julian Jaynes and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2000-08-15 with total page 580 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: National Book Award Finalist: “This man’s ideas may be the most influential, not to say controversial, of the second half of the twentieth century.”—Columbus Dispatch At the heart of this classic, seminal book is Julian Jaynes's still-controversial thesis that human consciousness did not begin far back in animal evolution but instead is a learned process that came about only three thousand years ago and is still developing. The implications of this revolutionary scientific paradigm extend into virtually every aspect of our psychology, our history and culture, our religion—and indeed our future. “Don’t be put off by the academic title of Julian Jaynes’s The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. Its prose is always lucid and often lyrical…he unfolds his case with the utmost intellectual rigor.”—The New York Times “When Julian Jaynes . . . speculates that until late in the twentieth millennium BC men had no consciousness but were automatically obeying the voices of the gods, we are astounded but compelled to follow this remarkable thesis.”—John Updike, The New Yorker “He is as startling as Freud was in The Interpretation of Dreams, and Jaynes is equally as adept at forcing a new view of known human behavior.”—American Journal of Psychiatry