Download or read book Bad Dad Jokes written by Willow Creek Press and published by . This book was released on 2018 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The dad joke is a delicate thing. Part knowing humor, part lack of humor, it's only requirement is that it elicits not a laugh from its audience but the annoyed response: "Daaaaaaaaad." Bad Dad Jokes is the biggest, baddest collection of "so bad they're actually good" jokes that are guaranteed to deliver a daily dose of groans and giggles. Bad Dad Jokes is a one of a kind collection of extraordinary humor in one book. By giving this collection as a gift you will bring humor and lasting memories to events for years to come.
Download or read book Pretty Good Joke Book written by Garrison Keillor and published by Blackstone Publishing. This book was released on 2021-08-10 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.
Download or read book Reader s Digest Dumb Dad Jokes written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-05-07 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is your dad funny? Is he funny looking? Just kidding. In the Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 6 to 106. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Most dads get their best material from their families. And that's what we have here: a collection of riddles, jokes, one-liners, hilarious anecdotes and pointed wit that see families for what they truly are--our chief source of amusement! Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many columns in the magazine. This collection is pulled right from that humorous source. "Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world!"
Download or read book In Fifty Years We ll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-05-17 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.
Download or read book Absolutely Epic Knock Knock Jokes written by Ivy Finnegan and published by Arcturus Publishing. This book was released on 2021-10-15 with total page 285 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Knock, Knock ... Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in and you will find out! This book is jam-packed with over 400 knock-knock jokes that will have young readers chortling, chuckling, hooting, and howling. Including wacky wordplay, preposterous puns, silly situations and crazy cartoons, this joke book has it all! Fantastic fun for jokers, japesters, and jesters aged 7+. ABOUT THE SERIES: Bamboozle, befuddle and bowl over young readers with the Absolutely Epic Activity Books. This fab and funny series of puzzles and jokes feature wacky cartoon illustrations and are perfect for kids aged 7+.
Download or read book The Nazi S ance written by Arthur J. Magida and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2011-11-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: World War I left Berlin, and all of Germany, devastated. Charlatans and demagogues eagerly exploited the desperate crowds. Fascination with the occult was everywhere – in private séances, personalized psychic readings, communions with the dead – as people struggled to escape the grim reality of their lives. In the early 1930s, the most famous mentalist in the German capital was Erik Jan Hanussen, a Jewish mind reader originally from Vienna who became so popular in Berlin that he rubbed elbows with high ranking Nazis, became close with top Storm Troopers, and even advised Hitler. Called "Europe's Greatest Oracle Since Nostradamus," Hanussen assumed he could manipulate some of the more incendiary personalities of his time just as he had manipulated his fans. He turned his occult newspaper in Berlin into a Nazi propaganda paper, personally assured Hitler that the stars were aligned in his favor, and predicted the infamous Reichstag Fire that would solidify the Nazis' grip on Germany. Seasoned with ruminations about wonder and magic (and explanations of Hanussen's tricks), The Nazi Séance is a disturbing journey into a Germany as it descends into madness—aided by a "clairvoyant" Jew oblivious to the savagery of men who pursued a Reich they fantasized would last 1,000 years.
Download or read book It s Called a Spade written by JJ Barrows and published by WestBow Press. This book was released on 2019-10-04 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “it’s called a spade” is a reference to calling life like it is instead of hiding the tough stuff and pretending like everything is fine. It’s a collection of stories about life, about people and God, recovery and relapse, heartache and brokenness, and the reality that life is hard, even if you believe in God, even if you don’t. But there is also hope and humor and healing that comes without answers. This is a collection of stories from a human who almost disappeared in her efforts to be seen, a girl who called spades hearts and smiled while bluffing.
Download or read book Planet Funny written by Ken Jennings and published by Scribner. This book was released on 2019-07-09 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year The witty and exuberant New York Times bestselling author and record-setting Jeopardy! champion Ken Jennings relays the history of humor in “lively, insightful, and crawling with goofy factlings,” (Maria Semple, author of Where’d You Go Bernadette)—from fart jokes on clay Sumerian tablets to the latest Twitter gags and Facebook memes. Where once society’s most coveted trait might have been strength or intelligence or honor, today, in a clear sign of evolution sliding off the trails, it is being funny. Yes, funniness. Consider: Super Bowl commercials don’t try to sell you anymore; they try to make you laugh. Airline safety tutorials—those terrifying laminated cards about the possibilities of fire, explosion, depressurization, and drowning—have been replaced by joke-filled videos with multimillion-dollar budgets and dance routines. Thanks to social media, we now have a whole Twitterverse of amateur comedians riffing around the world at all hours of the day—and many of them even get popular enough online to go pro and take over TV. In his “smartly structured, soundly argued, and yes—pretty darn funny” (Booklist, starred review) Planet Funny, Ken Jennings explores this brave new comedic world and what it means—or doesn’t—to be funny in it now. Tracing the evolution of humor from the caveman days to the bawdy middle-class antics of Chaucer to Monty Python’s game-changing silliness to the fast-paced meta-humor of The Simpsons, Jennings explains how we built our humor-saturated modern age, where lots of us get our news from comedy shows and a comic figure can even be elected President of the United States purely on showmanship. “Fascinating, entertaining and—I’m being dead serious here—important” (A.J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically), Planet Funny is a full taxonomy of what spawned and defines the modern sense of humor.
Download or read book Who Needs Donuts written by Mark Alan Stamaty and published by Knopf Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2013-11-27 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sam’s love of donuts takes him to the Big City where he makes friends with Mr. Bikferd, a world class collector of donuts. But when Mr. Bikferd falls in love with Pretzel Annie, the prophecy of an old homeless woman comes true: “Who needs donuts when you’ve got love?” Mr. Bikferd bequeaths his donut collection to Sam, who uses it to save the old homeless woman from drowning in a basement flooded with coffee. This is a reissue of Mark Alan Stamaty’s masterpiece of the absurd, first published 30 years ago and out of print nearly as long. With an illustration style that mixes a benign Hieronymus Bosch with an urban Where’s Waldo?, Stamaty’s off-the-wall humor is on target for little kids and big kids today.
Download or read book A Lot Like Me written by Larry Elder and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-05-07 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I hated my father—really, really hated him. I hated working for him and I hated being around him. I hated it when he walked through the front door at home. And we feared him from the moment he pulled up in front of the house in his car.” So writes conservative firebrand and popular radio host Larry Elder. For ten years Elder and his father did not talk to each other. When they finally did, the conversation went on for eight hours—eight hours that took Elder on his father’s journey from the Jim Crow South, to service in the Marine Corps, to starting a business in Southern California. Elder emerged not just reconciled with his dad, but admiring him, and realizing that he had never fully known him or understood him. Heartfelt, beautifully written, compulsively readable, A Lot Like Me—originally published as Dear Father, Dear Son—is both a powerfully affecting memoir and a personal, provocative slice of American history.
Download or read book Wounded Souls written by Renny W. Hodgskin and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2019-12-17 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Monsignor Patrick Nixon assumes the role of bishop for his California diocese in May 2006, he also accepts responsibility for resolving 161 lawsuits alleging despicable acts of Clerical Sexual Abuse. Unable to rely upon the former bishop’s insight, knowledge, and experience - for he now lies in a coma after suffering a major stroke surely prompted by the stress of the misconduct litigation - acting bishop Nixon prays for strength and guidance as he tries to understand the myriad financial, legal, and insurance issues. His hope to resolve the claims and compensate the legitimately injured victims is frustrated by a powerful personal injury litigator whose true objective appears to be the destruction of the diocese, an unfriendly judicial system that penalizes apology and a hard-nosed insurance executive who has denied all coverage and liability for the abuse claims. Assisting the acting bishop, however, is the newly hired diocesan risk manager, Bethany Griffin, a spiritually challenged former insurance executive. With jury trials looming and time to settle rapidly running out, it seems only a miracle can save the diocese from devastating verdicts - and a miracle is what’s also required if Bethany is to overcome a tragic past that defies comprehension and have her faith in God restored.
Download or read book Rewrite written by Gregory Benford and published by S&S/Saga Press. This book was released on 2019-10-15 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this thematic sequel to Gregory Benford’s award-winning bestseller Timescape, a history professor finds that he is able travel back to 1968, the year he was sixteen—here, he finds a slew of mentors with the same ability, including Robert Heinlein, Albert Einstein, and Philip K. Dick and becomes a successful Hollywood screenwriter until some wicked time travelers try to subvert him. It’s 2002, and Charlie, in his late forties, is a bit of a sad-sack professor of history going through an unpleasant divorce. While flipping the cassette of an audiobook he gets into a car accident with a truck, and wakes up, fully aware as his adult mind, in his sixteen-year-old body in 1968. Charlie does the thing we all imagine: he takes what he remembers of the future and uses it for himself in his present, the past. He becomes a screenwriter, anticipating the careers of Francis Ford Coppola and Steven Spielberg. Charlie realizes that there are others like him, like Albert Einstein, Philip K. Dick, Robert Heinlein. In fact, there is a society of folks who loop through time to change the world for their agenda. Now, Charlie knows he has to do something other than be self-indulgent and he tries to change one of the events of 1968 in this clever thriller.
Download or read book Bad Dreams and Coffee written by and published by Dorrance Publishing. This book was released on with total page 78 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Here Until August written by Josephine Rowe and published by Catapult. This book was released on 2019-10-08 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Here Until August tracks the shimmer of precarious moments and transient moods with devastating precision. In their steady excavation of intimacy, these spacious stories bring Alice Munro to mind. I underlined sentence after sentence as I read: for their beauty, their clarity, and their wisdom. Josephine Rowe is a breathtakingly good writer, and this is a marvelous book." —Michelle de Kretser The stories in Here Until August follow the fates of characters who, by choice or by force, are traveling beyond the boundaries of their known worlds. These are people who move with the seasons. We meet them negotiating reluctant or cowardly departures, navigating uncertain returns, or biding the disquieting calm that so often precedes moments of decisive action. In one story, an agoraphobic French émigré compulsively watches disturbing footage from the other side of the world as she attempts to keep a dog named Chavez out of trouble. In another, a young couple weather the interiority of a Montreal winter, more attuned to the illicit goings–on of their neighbors than to their own hazy, unfolding futures. Other stories play out against the fictional counterparts of iconic Australian and American locales, places that are recognizable but set just beyond the brink of familiarity: flooded townships and distant islands, sunlit woodlands or paths made bright by ice, places of unpredictable access and spaces scrubbed from maps. From the Catskills to New South Wales, from the remote and abandoned island outports of Newfoundland to the sprawl of a North American metropolis, these transformative stories show how the places where we choose to live our lives can just as easily turn us inward as outward.
Download or read book The Rather Ridiculous Ruses that Fuel Revolutionary Unrest written by Tiffany Twain and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2017-01-19 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This Eleventh Book of the Earth Manifesto is a compendium of thoughts and ideas that began in 2016 and evolved quickly in 2022 and 2023 in response to tumultuous events. It provides compelling understandings of the challenges we face in the world today with growing reactionary movements that are creating global discord and unrest, and authoritarian governments, and it provides positive ideas on how we should best cope with these problems to make our societies fairer and healthier. This compilation is a work in process that also contains a lengthy analysis of Supreme Court Politics, Chicanery and Corruption, and a dated and provisional Film Script for the Earth Manifesto.
Download or read book Spirit Driven Rulers written by Gerhardt Smook and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2012-12-17 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Following his attempted coup in heaven, satan with his angels were cast onto the earth. He that considered himself equal to God and qualified to rule the universe, suddenly found his domain reduced to one insignificant planet in creation. To add insult to injury, the Almighty had the audacity to create a little creature from the clay of satans kingdom with the instruction to rule over the earth. However, man can only fulfill this creative purpose to rule in the midst of these formidable spiritual enemies in total dependence on the Holy Spirit the very breath of God through which He literally spoke the very universe into being. The book describes in a practical way, through experiences from the authors own life, how to be a Spirit driven ruler.
Download or read book Vanity Fair written by and published by . This book was released on 2010-03 with total page 536 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
