Download or read book Festive As Fuck a Hilarious Christmas Swear Word Coloring Book written by Cindy Booth and published by . This book was released on 2016-11-10 with total page 58 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrate the holiday season with this hilarious Christmas swear word coloring book for adults, filled with cursing Santas, mean reindeer, sarcastic snowmen, and other holiday-themed illustrations dripping with inappropriate language. With illustrations ranging from simple to complex, this adult coloring book will provide hours of fun and relaxation to help you get through the Christmas season!
Download or read book Rated Xmas written by Louis Brodsky and published by Time Being Books. This book was released on 2013-07-23 with total page 109 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brandishing the caustic wit that is the hallmark of his four previous books of short fictions, L. D. Brodsky gives "Xmas" an X rating in this latest volume, with his salty-tongued South St. Louis auto-assembly-line "rough," who gets way too far into the Christmas spirit(s). At least deserving of an R rating are some of Brodsky's other outrageous characters, such as the guy who disguises himself as a Persian cat or basset hound to escape the scrutiny of his neighbors; the misguided soul who turns into a UFO; experts in fecal matter and the mortuarial arts; the husband who flies home early to avoid a snowstorm, only to surprise his preoccupied wife; the art forger who's so good he becomes more famous than the masters he copies; and men who mate with bears, whales, and themselves. Drop your quarter into Rated Xmas and view the peepshow that's always playing in Brodsky's mind.
Download or read book Denis Leary s Merry F in Christmas written by Denis Leary and published by Running Press Adult. This book was released on 2012-10-30 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For everyone who loves the holidays - and those of us who can't wait until they're over - Denis Leary has a special gift this season: Merry F***in' Christmas. This adult parody of a children's book, in the vein of Go The Fuck To Sleep, takes aim at bad presents, drunk Santas, boring relatives, ugly sweaters, greedy kids and all the other things that make December such a pain in the ass. Just like he did in The Ref - the cult classic Christmas film that skewers dysfunctional families - Denis will have you laughing out loud about just how unhappy the holidays can be.
Download or read book Trenchblight written by James McBride and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2014-02-11 with total page 613 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: August 1914, Britain is aflame with war and patriotism. Men from all over the country rush to enlist, volunteering to fight for King and country. Most are young and innocent and cannot possibly foresee the horrors that await them on the bloody battlegrounds of the Western Front. How many of them will survive? Brothers Tom and David Duke have spent most of their lives playing rugby together. With the advent of war, however, they too choose to enlist, each for his own reason: Tom has an insatiable lust for adventure, and David simply cannot let his brother go to war without him. They become soldiers, and together will face the untold horrors of the First World War. Their innocence and boundless enthusiasm propel them into the infamous Battle of the Somme in 1916. The following year, they face the unspeakable horror of Passchendaelle, a name that would become synonymous with the ineffable futility of the Great War. What began as patriotic adventure becomes a fight for survival. The brothers cannot escape the brutal reality of war which has unforeseen and tragic consequences for them and the people they love most. Based on the official war diaries of the Eleventh Battalion, the London Regiment, this historical novel tells a gripping story of the true tragedy of the Great War.
Download or read book Go the F k to Sleep written by Adam Mansbach and published by Akashic Books. This book was released on 2011-06-14 with total page 18 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.
Download or read book This Is Not the End of Me written by Dakshana Bascaramurty and published by McClelland & Stewart. This book was released on 2020-08-18 with total page 298 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER A BEST BOOK OF 2020 CBC – The Best Canadian Nonfiction of 2020 The Globe and Mail’s Globe 100: Our Favourite Books of 2020 Chatelaine’s 10 Best Books of 2020 The Walrus’s Favourite Books of 2020 For readers of Paul Kalanithi's When Breath Becomes Air and Will Schwalbe, the moving, inspiring story of a young husband and father who, when diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of thirty-three, sets out to build a legacy for his infant son. i can't make you feel what it's like to be a young, dumb, naïve thirty-year-old sitting in the back of a walk-in clinic waiting to be handed what is essentially a death sentence any more than i can show you what it feels like to have a husband or father or child who's dying and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it. i can only describe to you how i feel today. angry. at peace. scared. grateful. a giant, spiky, flowering heart-shaped bouquet of contradictions. Layton Reid was a globe-trotting, risk-taking, sunshine-addicted bachelor--then came a melanoma diagnosis. Cancer startled him out of his arrested development--he returned home to Halifax to work as a wedding photographer--and remission launched him into a new, passionate life as a husband and father-to-be. When the melanoma returned, now at Stage IV, Layton and his family put all their stock into a punishing alternative therapy, hoping for a cure. This Is Not the End of Me recounts Layton's three-year journey as he tried desperately to stay alive for his young son, Finn, and then found purpose in preparing Finn for a world without him. With incredible intimacy, grit, and empathy, reporter Dakshana Bascaramurty casts an unsentimental eye on who her good friend was: his effervescence, his twisted wit, his anger, his vulnerability. Interweaving Layton's own reflections--his diaries written for Finn, his letters to his wife, Candace, and his public journal--she paints a keenly observed portrait of Layton's remarkable evolution. In detailing the ugly, surprising, and occasionally funny ways in which Layton and his family faced his mortality, the book offers an unflinching look at how a person dies, and how we might build a legacy in our information-saturated age. Powerful and unvarnished, This is Not the End of Me is about someone who didn't get a very happy ending, but learned to squeeze as much life as possible from his final days.
Download or read book Happy F cking Holidays written by Sasha O'hara and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-11 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the Best Seller Calm the Fck Down 'Tis the season to get snarky! It's that time again. Time to put on your elastic waistband pants, spike your eggnog, and brace yourself for the crazy "Holidaze". Why let the dark days of winter get you down when you can enjoy your own cynical and sassy Christmas coloring adventure? This holiday season, color the things you can't say and still keep Peace on Earth. Happy fucking Holidays is an irreverent and subversive take on Christmas and is the perfect way to unwind and relax for Christmas. It's an ideal gift, for anyone who is stressed, and for those with a subversive and irreverent sense of humor. Enjoy these humorous illustrations that let you fill your holiday season with inappropriate and unapologetic joy. Includes 26 single-sided adult coloring pages and 2 color test pages. Illustrations range from Simple to complex to color, and most are moderate in detail. Irreverent Images include: Santa, ornaments, a cat, a snowman, an Elf, candy canes, wreaths, reindeer, and many more... Sassy sayings include: It's beginning to feel a lot like fuck this, I peed in your eggnog, sweet and twisted, naughty, kiss my ass, fat judgmental bastard, sleigh me, and many more humorous and subversive sayings.... For more information, for free coloring page downloads, contests and more, visit www.sashaohara.com CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN.
Download or read book Take This Man written by Brando Skyhorse and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-06-03 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When he was three years old, Brando Kelly Ulloa was abandoned by his immigrant father. His mother, Maria, dreaming of a more exciting life, saw no reason for her son to live his life as a Mexican just because he was born one. The life of "Brando Skyhorse," the American Indian son of an incarcerated political activist, was about to begin. Through a series of letters to Paul Skyhorse Johnson, a stranger in prison for armed robbery, Maria reinvents herself and her young son as American Indians in the lively Mexican-American neighborhood of Echo Park, California. There Brando and his mother live with his acerbic grandmother and a rotating cast of surrogate fathers. It will be over thirty years before Brando begins to untangle the truth, when a surprise discovery online leads him to his biological father at last. From an acclaimed, prize-winning novelist, this literary memoir captures an unforgettable mother-son story and a boy's single-minded search for a father, wherever he can find one.--From publisher description.
Download or read book Hard Feelings written by Doug Lucie and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2013-12-04 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We're supposed to be having a party. It's s'posed to be fun. This is my house, and when I say everybody have fun, then everybody have fun. Thatcher's Britain – Brixton, 1981. As tensions mount on the streets, in the safety of their home, a group of Oxford University graduates barely notice what's happening on the streets outside as police and rioters clash, shops are looted, and buildings are set on fire. In both worlds there is a fight for rights... a fight for respect ... a fight for control. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will make the strongest cocktail? And when the dust finally settles the question remains... Will things ever change? Hard Feelings was first staged at the Oxford Playhouse in 1982 before transferring to the Bush Theatre in 1983, directed by Mike Bradwell. It was later broadcast as a BBC Play for Today. Hard Feelings was revived by Defibrillator Productions in a production at the Finborough Theatre in 2013.
Download or read book I Am In Blood written by Joe Murphy and published by The O'Brien Press. This book was released on 2015-04-27 with total page 267 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A dying century. A killing presence. Present day: Nathan Jacob's life is coming apart. His adoptive father has passed away, leaving him grief-stricken. His only companion is his best friend, for whom he is falling more deeply every day. But Nathan is grappling with other demons: things half-formed and dark. Things that link him, somehow, to a series of horrific murders from the pages of history. 1890: Sergeant George Frohmell of the Dublin Metropolitan Police is running out of time. His city has become the hunting ground of a monster who preys on prostitutes and leaves them butchered in back alleys. As the bodies mount and the politics of Victorian Ireland come to the fore, Sergeant Frohmell must find his man – or lose everything.
Download or read book My Fake Christmas Fianc written by Julie Kriss and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-23 with total page 158 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dear Wesley Kane, We are not getting married. I know we had to get engaged as part of our companies' merger plans, but a fake engagement is all I'll agree to. For business purposes. We are never, ever getting married.We have nothing in common. I'm the nerdy do-gooder girl with glasses and you're the playboy with a new woman on his arm every week. I'm not your type, and you're not mine.Okay, so you're incredibly gorgeous. And funny. And you keep giving me That Look. And you've ditched all your other girlfriends for me. And I've seen you in nothing but your boxer shorts, and I'm still thinking about it. Because...wow.We have to be married by midnight Christmas Eve, and the deadline is getting closer. It doesn't matter if you might be my dream guy. It doesn't matter if I'm falling for you-it's just a business deal.We are never, ever-Oh God, I just kissed you again
Download or read book Santa s Secret Sex Journal Jolly Adventures written by Seth Kinstle and published by Seth Kinstle. This book was released on 2024-03-11 with total page 61 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you're looking for a great Christmas gift you found the best piece of magic on the market. It's looks perfect under a Christmas tree or thrown on the lap of a stranger. Santa has a secret past that no one has ever heard about. Unwrap the true story of the very real Santa Clause in this indecent mashup of insane cartoony ramblings. Discover the truth of the Santa Clause corporation along with everything that makes it prosper. Unmask the messiah Jesus Christ to pay a testament to the wretched things he's done. When the holiday spirit runs deep, you'll find Santa beneath the dirt chugging diarrhea in a sewer. All his precious secrets are exposed in this mind boggling unbelievable autobiography of the one and only man in red. From his outlandish love affairs to his triumphant fetishes. See the man you know and love like never before. Including top secret details of his passionate body on body friction with Mrs. Clause. Take a look into his bedroom to see what's really going on in the life of a super human so jolly he can't help but be irresistibly attractive.
Download or read book Death Decorations written by Thirteen O'Clock Press and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2016-11-30 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Top Ten Finisher - P & E Readers Poll 2016Christmas lights shine on ghosts and gore, the Christmas moon shines on rampaging snowmen and glittering blades ... among the decorations and hanging on the tree are things we should not be seeing but which are there - including the bitter darkness of the human heart.This exciting new collection of Christmas horror has surpassed any other seasonal anthology Thirteen have put out, the stories will in turn touch you, shock you, surprise you and make you laugh. What more could you ask for a good read at this time of year?
Download or read book The Stupidest Angel written by Christopher Moore and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 329 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead. But hold on! There's an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) It's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen. Move over, Charles Dickens -- it's Christopher Moore time.
Download or read book Kisses and Lies written by T.L. Smith and published by T.L Smith. This book was released on with total page 219 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I met the devil in broad daylight. He was cold, dangerous, and nothing I knew I wanted. I should’ve known better. But I couldn't stay away from everything I never thought I’d need. So we made a deal—just our bodies. But the lines blurred without warning, and I soon found myself making another deal. I made the mistake of asking for forever, never knowing just how much the cold could burn. Now, I’m afraid that lies dressed as kisses are all we’ll ever have.
Download or read book Unforgettable written by Elle Spencer and published by Bold Strokes Books Inc. This book was released on 2018-11-13 with total page 236 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Forget Her Not, Samantha King is the only one who knows she doesn’t have it all (unless you count her mother and sister, which she doesn’t). When it comes to men, Sam won’t make time for anything more than a one-night stand. No commitments, no connections. Everything changes the morning she wakes up next to a woman for the first time, except Sam can’t actually remember what happened. But the undeniably gorgeous Mia Rossi isn’t going to let her ignore the passion they shared. For Sam, the night she can’t remember turns out to be impossible to forget. In Forget Her Never, Abby Dunn knows there has to be a catch. There always is. But when a sexy stranger offers a night of fun, she throws caution to the wind. Kendall Squires is a fascinating woman who knows just what to say to get what she wants. That should have been Abby's clue that Kendall would know what not to say, as well, and she shouldn't have been surprised when she learns Kendall is married. Abby knows she has to put that night behind her, but can she ever really forget a woman like Kendall Squires?
Download or read book White Flights written by Jess Row and published by Graywolf Press. This book was released on 2019-08-06 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A bold, incisive look at race and reparative writing in American fiction, by the author of Your Face in Mine White Flights is a meditation on whiteness in American fiction and culture from the end of the civil rights movement to the present. At the heart of the book, Jess Row ties “white flight”—the movement of white Americans into segregated communities, whether in suburbs or newly gentrified downtowns—to white writers setting their stories in isolated or emotionally insulated landscapes, from the mountains of Idaho in Marilynne Robinson’s Housekeeping to the claustrophobic households in Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections. Row uses brilliant close readings of work from well-known writers such as Don DeLillo, Annie Dillard, Richard Ford, and David Foster Wallace to examine the ways these and other writers have sought imaginative space for themselves at the expense of engaging with race. White Flights aims to move fiction to a more inclusive place, and Row looks beyond criticism to consider writing as a reparative act. What would it mean, he asks, if writers used fiction “to approach each other again”? Row turns to the work of James Baldwin, Dorothy Allison, and James Alan McPherson to discuss interracial love in fiction, while also examining his own family heritage as a way to interrogate his position. A moving and provocative book that includes music, film, and literature in its arguments, White Flights is an essential work of cultural and literary criticism.
