Download or read book Attached written by Amir Levine and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-12-30 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
Download or read book Fearful Avoidant in Love written by Johanna Sparrow and published by . This book was released on 2018-02-28 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You've been playing games in your relationship far too long and it's about to cost you what you really want, love. If you don't pull it together and get a grip, you know you will be alone soon. Fearing rejection and abandonment, a person with the fearful avoidant attachment style is passive-aggressive and has a hard time seeing their own worth. They question love and their actions are confusing to their partner. This book discusses all four attachment styles, but highlights the fearful avoidant partner.
Download or read book Overcoming Insecure Attachment written by Tracy Crossley and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Permanently stop fear and anxiety from smothering the way you live your life, and stop settling for relationships that aren't right for you. Written by a behavioral relationship expert, Overcoming Insecure Attachment provides actionable steps on how to overcome insecure attachment styles and the problems they spawn with self-value, self-awareness and self-responsibility. Going beyond what traditional attachment theory books focus on, readers will follow eight proven steps that they can customize and organize in the way that best suits their unique needs, all the while being bolstered and championed by Tracy Crossley's friendly, bold tone"--Publisher's website.
Download or read book Avoidant written by Jeb Kinnison and published by . This book was released on 2014-10-02 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types (Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is ) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: - Seem not to care how you feel? - Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? - Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? - Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? - Act coldly toward your children and the needy? - Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? - Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.
Download or read book Bad Boyfriends written by Jeb Kinnison and published by . This book was released on 2014-03-08 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is a practical guide to using the science of attachment and relationships to find the right life partner. If you were brought up in the Western world, you've been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We'll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. If you're young and just starting to look for a partner, good news-the world is swarming with well-adjusted, charming matches for you, if you know how to recognize them. The bad news: you are inexperienced and you may not recognize the right type of person when you date them. Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you've identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don't make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger. If you're older, bad news: while you were spending time and effort on relationships you were hoping would turn out better, or even happily nestled in a good relationship or two, most of the secure, reliable, sane people in your age group got paired off. They're married or happily enfamilied, and most of the people your age in the dating pool are tragically unable to form a good long-term relationship. You should always ask yourself, "why is this one still available?"-there may be a good answer (recently widowed or left a long-term relationship), or it may be that this person has just been extraordinarily unlucky in having over twenty short relationships in twenty years (to cite one case!) But it's far more likely you have met someone with a problematic attachment style. As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%[1]; and since it can take months of dating to understand why Mr. or Ms. SeemsNice is really the future ex-partner from Hell, being able to recognize the difficult types will help you recognize them faster and move on to the next. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too. If you've had lots of relationships and they all seem to go wrong, the common factor is you! Your task is to make yourself into a better partner - a goal that even the most evolved of us can always work toward.
Download or read book Patterns of Attachment written by Mary D. Salter Ainsworth and published by Psychology Press. This book was released on 2015-06-26 with total page 514 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ethological attachment theory is a landmark of 20th century social and behavioral sciences theory and research. This new paradigm for understanding primary relationships across the lifespan evolved from John Bowlby’s critique of psychoanalytic drive theory and his own clinical observations, supplemented by his knowledge of fields as diverse as primate ethology, control systems theory, and cognitive psychology. By the time he had written the first volume of his classic Attachment and Loss trilogy, Mary D. Salter Ainsworth’s naturalistic observations in Uganda and Baltimore, and her theoretical and descriptive insights about maternal care and the secure base phenomenon had become integral to attachment theory. Patterns of Attachment reports the methods and key results of Ainsworth’s landmark Baltimore Longitudinal Study. Following upon her naturalistic home observations in Uganda, the Baltimore project yielded a wealth of enduring, benchmark results on the nature of the child’s tie to its primary caregiver and the importance of early experience. It also addressed a wide range of conceptual and methodological issues common to many developmental and longitudinal projects, especially issues of age appropriate assessment, quantifying behavior, and comprehending individual differences. In addition, Ainsworth and her students broke new ground, clarifying and defining new concepts, demonstrating the value of the ethological methods and insights about behavior. Today, as we enter the fourth generation of attachment study, we have a rich and growing catalogue of behavioral and narrative approaches to measuring attachment from infancy to adulthood. Each of them has roots in the Strange Situation and the secure base concept presented in Patterns of Attachment. It inclusion in the Psychology Press Classic Editions series reflects Patterns of Attachment’s continuing significance and insures its availability to new generations of students, researchers, and clinicians.
Download or read book Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair written by Daniel P. Brown PhD and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 1003 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the 2018 International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD) Pierre Janet Writing Award. A comprehensive treatment approach for the repair and resolution of attachment disturbances in adults, for use in clinical settings. With contributions by Paula Morgan-Johnson, Paula Sacks, Caroline R. Baltzer, James Hickey, Andrea Cole, Jan Bloom, and Deirdre Fay. Attachment Disturbances in Adults is a landmark resource for (1) understanding attachment, its development, and the most clinically relevant findings from attachment research, and (2) using this understanding to inform systematic, comprehensive, and clinically effective and efficient treatment of attachment disturbances in adults. It offers an innovative therapeutic model and set of methods for treating adult patients with dismissing, anxious-preoccupied, or disorganized attachment. In rich detail, it integrates historical and leading-edge attachment research into practical, effective treatment protocols for each type of insecure attachment. Case transcripts and many sample therapist phrasings illustrate how to apply the methods in practice. Part I, "Foundational Concepts," features a comprehensive overview of the field of attachment, including its history, seminal ideas, and existing knowledge about the development of attachment bonds and behaviors. Part II, "Assessment," addresses the assessment of attachment disturbances. It includes an overview of attachment assessment for the clinician and a trove of practical recommendations for assessing patients' attachment behavior and status both outside of and within the therapeutic relationship. In Part III, "Treatment," the authors not only review existing treatment approaches for attachment disorders in adults, but also introduce an unprecedented, powerful new treatment method. This method, the "Three Pillars" model, is built on three essential clinical ingredients: Systematically utilizing ideal parent figure imagery to develop a new positive, stable internal working model of secure attachment Fostering a range of metacognitive skills Fostering nonverbal and verbal collaborative behavior in treatment Used together, these interdependent pillars form a unified and profoundly effective method of treatment for attachment disturbances in adults—a must for any clinician. In Part IV, "Type-Specific Treatment," readers will learn specific variations of the three treatment pillars to maximize efficacy with each type of insecure attachment. Finally, Part V, "A Treatment Guide and Expected Outcomes," describes treatment in a step-by-step format and provides a success-assessment guide for the Three Pillars approach. This book is a comprehensive educational resource and a deeply practical clinical guide. It offers clinicians a complete set of tools for effective and efficient treatment of adult patients with attachment disturbances.
Download or read book Wired for Dating written by Stan Tatkin and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2016-01-02 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate. Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life. If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.
Download or read book A Secure Base written by John Bowlby and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2012-11-12 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As Bowlby himself points out in his introduction to this seminal childcare book, to be a successful parent means a lot of very hard work. Giving time and attention to children means sacrificing other interests and activities, but for many people today these are unwelcome truths. Bowlby’s work showed that the early interactions between infant and caregiver have a profound impact on an infant's social, emotional, and intellectual growth. Controversial yet powerfully influential to this day, this classic collection of Bowlby’s lectures offers important guidelines for child rearing based on the crucial role of early relationships.
Download or read book Attachment in Adulthood First Edition written by Mario Mikulincer and published by Guilford Publications. This book was released on 2010-01-04 with total page 593 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The concluding chapter reflects on the key issues addressed, considers the deeper philosophical implications of current work in the field, and identifies pivotal directions for future investigation."--BOOK JACKET.
Download or read book The Amaranth Chronicles written by Alexander Barnes and published by Inkshares. This book was released on 2017-11-14 with total page 406 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Helix was meant to be a revolution, but even the most pure of intentions can spawn terrible evil, and the revolution of information and innovation they hoped for may not be the one they get.
Download or read book Attachment Theory written by Thais Gibson and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2020-03-24 with total page 129 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Build powerful current and future relationships by understanding your past In order to improve closeness and intimacy in all relationships, it is important to first understand the clear parallels between adult behavior and childhood experiences. Attachment Theory combines traditional teachings with knowledge of subconscious patterns to provide powerful tools for powerful change. Through interactive quizzes, wrap-up summaries, and real strategies you can implement in your daily life, you'll learn the tools needed to reprogram the outdated beliefs causing chaos in your life and relationships—romantic, platonic, or familial. Inside Attachment Theory, you'll find: What's your style?—Begin with the 4 basic attachment theory styles—Dismissive-Avoidant, Fearful-Avoidant, Anxious Attachment, and Secure Attachment. The best methods—Using the 3 primary forms of therapy—Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and RAIN (Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation, Non-Identification)—you'll begin to reprogram your subconscious mind. Old meets new—Learn through a mix of traditional psychological methodologies and new, cutting edge techniques of attachment theory. With a firm understanding of attachment theory, you'll be on your way to healthier relationships.
Download or read book Adult Attachment written by W. Steven Rholes and published by Guilford Press. This book was released on 2004-07-12 with total page 482 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With contributions from leading investigators, this volume presents important theoretical and empirical advances in the study of adult attachment. Chapters take stock of the state of knowledge in the field and introduce new, testable theoretical models to guide future research. Major topics covered include stability and change of attachment orientations across the lifespan; influences of attachment on cognitive functioning; and implications for the ways individuals experience intimacy, conflict, caregiving, and satisfaction in adult relationships. Also explored are the ways attachment theory and research can inform therapy with couples and can further understanding of such significant clinical problems as PTSD and depression.
Download or read book The Anxious Hearts Guide written by Rikki Cloos and published by . This book was released on 2021-11-16 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Fearful Avoidant Attachment written by Vincenzo Venezia and published by . This book was released on 2023-05-24 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you find it difficult to maintain a successful relationship and enter into intimacy? Despite your best efforts to advance your romantic relationship, does it not move forward? Do you feel the fear that you will be hurt and disappointed in some way and it will all end in heartbreak? Whether we are aware of it or not, our childhood experiences play a huge role in shaping the kind of person we become. The relationships we had as children with our parents, or whoever cared for us, have a profound effect on how we react to certain situations in our lives and how we interact with the people around us. Fearful-avoidant attachment is a pattern of behaviour in relationships that is characterised by both high anxiety and high avoidance, in which a person longs for connection but also fears getting too close to someone. They expect rejection, disappointment and pain in their relationship. They have difficulty believing that their partner will love and support them as they are. I recommend reading this manual if you have experienced in your romantic relationship and in your relationship with yourself: - Fear of intimacy or fear of relationships in general. - Avoidance of commitment in relationships. - High anxiety. - A negative view of yourself; feeling that you do not deserve healthy relationships. - Severe difficulty regulating emotions in relationships. - Reacting poorly or inappropriately to negative emotions. - Negative perception of other people and their support. - A tendency to be violent in relationships. - A large number of sexual partners. - Feeling generally dissatisfied with relationships. Avoidant fearful people exhibit a kind of reluctance to engage in an intimate relationship and an extreme need to be loved. Avoidant fearful people often end up in very complicated relationships with high levels of conflict. They find themselves in these dynamics not because they desire them, but because they are afraid to approach and fully connect due to a lack of trust. All this results in the creation of a self-fulfilling prophecy. This can lead to an endless cycle of approach and avoidance with potential partners. This mindset can turn into a form of self-sabotage, causing the fearful avoidant to prematurely end a relationship that instead deserved to be deepened and experienced with joy. Can the fearful avoidant style be changed? Fortunately, there are methods in this manual to identify and interrupt dysfunctional patterns and cultivate new ones that are helpful and tailored to you. It is important to do this for yourself, your loved ones, and ultimately your children. End this endless cycle of anxiety and suffering. This book was written for you. Act now.
Download or read book Insecure in Love written by Leslie Becker-Phelps and published by New Harbinger Publications. This book was released on 2014-06-01 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences. In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way—rather than beating yourself up. You’ll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness. If you suffer from anxious attachment, you probably know that you need to change, and yet you have remained stuck. With compassionate self-awareness, you can successfully explore old anxiety-perpetuating perceptions and habits without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them. By understanding the psychological factors at the root of your attachment anxiety, you will learn to cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime. If you’re ready to stop getting stuck in the same hurtful relationship patterns and finally break the cycle of heartache, this book can show you how to get the love you deserve—and keep it!
Download or read book The Power of Attachment written by Diane Poole Heller, Ph.D. and published by Sounds True. This book was released on 2019-03-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How traumatic events can break our vital connections—and how to restore love, wholeness, and resiliency in your life From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a car accident, severe illness, loss of a loved one, or experience of abuse—that attachment style can deeply influence what happens next. In The Power of Attachment, Dr. Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution, shows how overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections— with the parts of ourselves within, with the physical world around us, and with others. The good news is that we can restore and reconnect at all levels, regardless of our past. Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you: • Restore the broken connections caused by trauma • Get embodied and grounded in your body • Integrate the parts of yourself that feel wounded and fragmented • Emerge from grief, fear, and powerlessness to regain strength, joy, and resiliency • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature “We are fundamentally designed to heal,” teaches Dr. Heller. “Even if our childhood is less than ideal, our secure attachment system is biologically programmed in us, and our job is to simply find out what’s interfering with it—and learn what we can do to make those secure tendencies more dominant.” With expertise drawn from Dr. Heller’s research, clinical work, and training programs, this book invites you to begin that journey back to wholeness.
