Download or read book Farter s Survival Guide written by Benet Donald and published by . This book was released on 2015-10-15 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Most of us have experienced moments of wind-based humiliation we'd prefer to forget. This light-hearted survival guide for the digestively challenged will provide you with all you need to know about dealing with such mortifying occasions. In hilarious farting scenarios, from the standard wedding-day guff to the not-so-ordinary operating-theatre explosion, you will be offered three courses of action: the sane route, the more adventurous option and the kamikaze approach. Interspersed with these, you will also find chapters packed with fascinating and absolutely true farting facts, proverbs and 'words of windsdom' from around the world. The unapologetic guffer can also test their life skills in two different fartventures of equally humiliating proportions to see if they can emerge unscathed from potentially life-changing situations threatened by a desperate need for a colossal blow-off. At the end of this guide there is also a beautifuly illustrated game of Big Trumps to be played - pit yourself against your friends to collect society's farting superheroes. Highly entertaining, The Farter's Survival Guide is the perfect gift to publicly shame the culpably flatulent, and essential reading for all aficionados of this varied and most natural form of expression.
Download or read book An Old Farts Survival Guide written by Ron Foster and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-11-21 with total page 552 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!
Download or read book The Old Fart s Guide to Survival written by Dawn Cawley and published by Splendid Publications Limited. This book was released on 2016-10-03 with total page 55 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You might be getting on a bit but that doesn't mean life can't still be fun! Dawn Cawley, a paid-up member of The Old Fart's Club certainly isn't ready to be put out to pasture just yet and shares her tips and observations on life in the slow lane. From dealing with modern technology and grandkids to old friendships and going deaf, this quirky and humorous take on later life is a must-have survival guide for all the Old Farts who aim to grow old(er) disgracefully!
Download or read book The Cubicle Survival Guide written by James F. Thompson and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-03-12 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Help. . . . Cubicle Life Is Killing Me! Leaving no stone unturned, no ergonomic chair unadjusted, and no leftovers in the communal fridge uneaten, this hilarious guide to cubicle life will be the salvation for the more than forty million Americans stuck in cubicles. By turns uproariously funny and enormously useful, each chapter tackles a different area of cubicle life and includes a “cube tip,” a quiz, illustrations, and examples that will have you laughing out loud. Discover • how not to disturb colleagues with unwanted sounds and smells, such as the crunch-crunch of your sour-cream-and-onion chips and the unmistakable odor of your spicy Thai shrimp • how to knock when visiting other cubicles and how to devise politically correct ways of saying “Do not disturb” • the do’s and definite don’ts of cubicle decoration • how to set up a security system that will rebuff potential thieves The Cubicle Survival Guide could very well change your life and set you climbing the corporate ladder to success!* * Results not guaranteed. Pay raises and promotions are up to your boss, but using this book couldn’t hurt. Praise for The Cubicle Survival Guide: “A spiritual air conditioner for the cubicled soul.” — Turk Regan, author of Pimp My Cubicle: Take Your Workspace from Boring to Bling! "James Thompson’s The Cubicle Survival Guide offers the rare, and definitely appreciated, combination of laugh-out-loud humor and sound advice for surviving the jungle that is Corporate America. On some days, there’s nothing more motivating to fresh air-starved cube dwellers than a book that will simply crack them up. This is that book.” — Alexandra Levit, Author, They Don’t Teach Corporate in College "If you must work (and I don't recommend it), The Cubicle Survival Guide provides a wonderful way to slack off and stay entertained. You can easily kill two weeks with this book." — Josh Aiello, Author, 60 People to Avoid at the Water Cooler “Thompson provides a humorous yet thought-provoking look at what employees in today's large organizations must deal with besides their jobs.” — Malcolm O. Munro, Author, From Cave to Cubicle
Download or read book Bug Blonsky and His Swamp Scout Survival Guide written by E.S. Redmond and published by Candlewick. This book was released on 2021-04-13 with total page 97 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bug Blonsky is back, making mischief at camp, tracking Bigfoot, and entertaining readers with another madcap list: his “unofficial” Swamp Scout Survival guide. In an uproarious follow-up to Bug Blonsky and His Very Long List of Dont's, Bug takes early chapter book readers along on a weekend Swamp Scout trip. At Camp Win-Kee-Noo, you can earn merit patches for “paying attention” and “following directions,” but not for any of the things Bug excels at—stuff like armpit farting and being wiggly. As a True Bigfoot Believer, the only patch Bugs wants on his Swamp Scout vest is the Curious Creature patch for spotting an odd or uncommon animal. Know-it-all Abner insists that if Bigfoot were real, he would be listed in the “Terrible Things to Avoid” section of their official Swamp Scout survival guide. Leave it to Bug to write his own guide, jam-packed with tips and tricks for making the most (mischief) out of camp . . . plus a few startling discoveries. Funny, irreverent, fast-paced, and packed with comic illustrations, Bug’s second outing will keep young readers in stiches (and possibly out of poison ivy).
Download or read book The Big Bad Book of Farts written by Tammy L Brown and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2023-10-03 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a world where laughter reigns supreme, "The Big, Bad, Book of Farts - A Survival Guide" invites readers on a hilarious journey into the wild and wonderful world of flatulence. Brace yourself for a sidesplitting adventure that will leave you gasping for air! Inside these pages, you'll embark on an odorous odyssey, exploring the science, history, and art of the humble fart. From the dawn of time to the modern era, you'll discover how human beings have both celebrated and shunned this natural bodily function. Delve into the secrets of the silent-but-deadlies, the thunderous trouser trumpets, and the delicate nuances of each distinctive toot. But this book is not just about giggles and guffaws; it's a gas-powered journey into the fascinating world of flatulence. Learn about the biology behind those belly-shaking blasts, uncover the surprising health benefits of breaking wind, and explore the cultural taboos that surround this universal human experience. With a mix of uproarious humor and enlightening insights, "The Big, Bad, Book of Farts" is your ultimate guide to all things gaseous. Whether you're a seasoned farter or a newcomer to the world of wind-breaking, this book will have you laughing, learning, and embracing the power of the poot like never before. Prepare to be entertained, educated, and occasionally embarrassed as you dive headfirst into this uproarious, informative, and unapologetically cheeky celebration of the incredible, sometimes noisy, always natural phenomenon known as the fart. Grab your gas mask and get ready to laugh your butt off!
Download or read book Amelia s Boy Survival Guide written by Marissa Moss and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-03-06 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Crush alert! Boys enter the picture in this thirteenth book of the bestselling and perennially popular Amelia series. Amelia can’t believe eighth grade is finally here! She knows this will be the most exciting year yet for her and her best friend, Carly. But a lot of the other girls are thinking about one thing, and one thing only: boys. Amelia has never wanted a boyfriend. Crushes are for the silly girls who are always fixing their hair and thinking about shopping and what to wear next…right? But when a nice boy named Gerald appears in her class, Amelia thinks she might like to go to the school dance with him. It would be fun to have someone to dance with—but can she work up the nerve to ask him? What if he says no? Is the possible reward worth the risk? There’s only one way to find out… Once again, Marissa Moss tells a tale of wisdom gained in the humorous and human way that has earned her millions of loyal readers.
Download or read book The New Mom s Survival Guide written by Jennifer Wider, M.D. and published by Bantam. This book was released on 2008-06-24 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why can’t I lose the extra weight? Why am I shedding like my pet golden retriever? I’m just too tired to have sex— and it hurts. What should I do? How can I tell the difference between the “baby blues” and a real depression? Why am I having so many fights with my husband? At last your baby has arrived, and you’re experiencing all the joys that come with being a new mom. But you may not have bargained on acne and enlarged feet, not to mention constipation, vaginal pain, mood swings, or perhaps one of the more serious conditions that pregnancy can trigger. So what can you do to deal with all these unexpected challenges? In this compassionate, comprehensive guide, Dr. Jennifer Wider, a physician as well as the mother of two small children, delivers up-to-date medical information, candid answers to a host of questions, and expert advice on a range of postpartum issues, including: Sex and intimacy after pregnancy—physical and mental roadblocks •Marital stresses and strains •How to safely lose weight and exercise •Cracked nipples and other breast-feeding concerns •When the baby blues are more than just a phase •Coping with thyroid problems, anemia, diabetes, urinary incontinence, and other conditions that can show up during or after pregnancy From redefining yourself to taking care of yourself while caring for your baby, The New Mom’s Survival Guide offers such a wealth of practical help that new moms will turn to it again and again.
Download or read book Let It Rip written by Amy Nystrom and published by . This book was released on 2020-12-09 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart takes children readers as travelers around the world, under the sea, and up into space, teaching about gas everywhere, including gas and individual beings. Through our host, Fluff the Fart, we come to understand that farting makes us a part of everything; we learn how gas has an impact on climate change; we even learn how to say fart in different languages! Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart is chock full of relatable kids--every reader will identify with at least one! Delightful characters entertain and educate young (and old) kids about Fartiquette--the etiquette of farting--as if it is no big deal; and teach us the most important rule of all, which is: Always remember to say 'Excuse me!' Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart is a charmingly illustrated children's survival manual with specific advice on how to deal with farting, AND how to transform fart-based isolation, rejection, and shame into everyday life skills. Accompanied by expressive illustrations, this journey turns one of the (formerly) most dreaded bodily functions, The Fart, into a well-timed, normal, and acceptable behavior. Let It Rip! The Art of the Fart is a must-read for anyone who farts. Back of Book People. Animals. Machines. Planets. What do these things have in common? They all fart! Let It Rip! travels around the world, under the sea, and up into space, teaching young readers about gas in relation to our diets and to climate change, and even how to fart in different languages. Learn about fartiquette--the etiquette of farting like it's no big deal--including the most important rule of all . . . Don't forget to say Excuse me!
Download or read book The Survival Triangle Fire written by Bryan Foster aka Zion Prepper and published by . This book was released on 2014-10-28 with total page 166 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: See my other books which include the Ebola Survival Guide, Sheltering-In-Place, The Prepper's Handbook - Second Edition, The Christian Prepper's Handbook - Second Edition, and The Prepper's Survival Guide - An Introduction to Prepping and a Guide to Fire. Fire, water, food, shelter, and self-preservation. These are The Survival Triangle(c) elements. These elements, if properly prepared, will keep you alive in a manmade or natural disaster. But which one is the most important? The answer is FIRE . Fire provides heat and light, which are used for many things, including cooking, keeping warm, killing parasites in water, sterilizing wounds, warding off danger, lighting a path, signaling for help, calming bees, and so much more. If you don't believe that Fire is the most important element, look no further than Superstorm Sandy in November 2012. Parts of the east coast received over twelve inches of snow overnight. Over 8,100,000 households lost power, affecting people in 17 states. Many were without power for days and even weeks. Or consider that when you go camping, one of the first things you do is start a fire. Now, imagine that matches, lighters, and wood were not available. Or what if you had to start a fire in the snow or using wet material? What would you do? Preppers are ready for the unknown, and being able to create fire in a Shit-Hits-The-Fan (SHTF) scenario is the number one priority. Can you say the same? Regardless of your answer, The Prepper's Survival Guide on Fire provides information for both the beginning and advanced prepper alike.
Download or read book The End of Days Survival Guide written by Philip Mackey and published by Dog Ear Publishing. This book was released on 2011-05 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There you are with your grande latte and designer sunglasses pushed up in your hair, wondering what book to buy. Are you ready if the sh*t hits the fan? Your supercomputer cell phone will either set you on $re or won't work at all, and your total lack of preparedness will make you one of the $rst victims. Just put this one back on the shelf because you don't really believe in this 'Apocalypse' garbage anyway. Your soft hands and sad excuse for a desk job have left you utterly worthless in a survival sense, and the fact that you just looked at your hands con$rms it. There are plenty of safe picture books, with large, simple words that will not intimidate you. Just keep droning on mindlessly at your meaningless job and forget that our existence on this planet could end at a moment's notice.
Download or read book The Mental Health Survival Guide written by Brian D. Satterfield and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2017-12 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This projects a memoir of Brian's severe struggles covering his denial, insight, acceptance of PTSD, Anxiety, Panic, Chronic Pain, Insomnia, OCD tendencies, and addictive tendencies. All stemming from his horrific childhood trauma and a high ACE score. Brian outlines how he learned to positively cope with chronic multi-mental health diagnosis and a few misdiagnosis. Enclosed are documented skills, tools and tips he developed as a weekly action plan to heal, to deal with life long trauma. 1st edition released in May 2015, retired November 2017. 2nd edition released in December 2017.
Download or read book Prepper s Long Term Survival Guide 2nd Edition written by Jim Cobb and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2023-01-03 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
Download or read book Super Farty Pants written by Paul Wennersberg-Løvholen and published by . This book was released on 2019-11-12 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? And what's that smell? Amelia is just a regular kid. That is until a chance encounter with a strange looking bug that grants her super powers- super farty powers! A hilarious story full of farting and flying that children of all ages (and their parents) will love! A beautifully illustrated childrens book that is both perfect for reading to your little ones, but also great for those that can read themselves.
Download or read book Be Ready When the Sh t Goes Down written by Forrest Griffin and published by William Morrow Paperbacks. This book was released on 2011-08-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The end of the world is coming. Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Here’s a quick checklist: Have you dug up your wife’s rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members? Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone? Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage? Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor? Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe? You need this book more than you even know. Without it, you’re roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperone. From spotting the signs of the global downfall to alienating your loved ones now so they don’t come looking for you after, to hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, Griffin provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter from Georgia.
Download or read book The Pocket Survival Guide written by J. Wayne Fears and published by . This book was released on 2004-07 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: J. Wayne Fears has experienced survival, both as survivor and as a search and rescue official. He was extensively trained in survival skills by the U. s. Army and Air Force. As a wildlife professional, part of his job involved search & rescue, especially for missing hunters. He has taught survival classes for various organizations and his book "The Complete Book of Outdoor Survival" is considered the bible of North American survival. Book jacket.
Download or read book The Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers Second Big Book of Farty Facts written by M.D. Whalen and published by . This book was released on 2018-03-28 with total page 142 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you know that plants fart? Kids go to jail for farting? That there's a movie award for Best Fart? Do you secretly think farts are not only funny, but fascinating? Increase your Fart IQ and impress your friends and teachers with this gas-powered, illustrated fact-filled follow-up to the best-selling original Big Book of Farty Facts.
