Download or read book Blott On The Landscape written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The landscape is flawless, the trees majestic, the flora and the fauna are right and proper. All is picturesquely typical of rural England at its best. Sir Giles, an MP of few principles and curious tastes, plots to destroy all this by building a motorway smack through it, to line his own pocket and at the same time to dispose of his wife, the capacious Lady Maude. But Lady Maude enlists a surprising ally in her enigmatic gardener Blott, a naturalised Englishman in whom adopted patriotism burns bright. Lady Maude's dynamism and Blott's concealed talents enable them to meet pressure with mimicry, loaded tribunals with publicity and chilli powder, and requisition orders with wickedly spiked beer. This explosively comic novel will gladden the heart of everyone who has ever confronted a bureaucrat, and spells out in riotous detail how the forces of virtue play an exceedingly dirty game when the issue is close to home.
Download or read book Porterhouse Blue written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ______________________________ The 'endlessly funny' novel widely regarded as a classic of comic English literature Porterhouse College is world renowned for its gastronomic excellence, the arrogance of its Fellows, its academic mediocrity and the social cache it confers on the athletic sons of country families. Sir Godber Evans, ex-Cabinet Minister and the new Master, is determined to change all this. Spurred on by his politically angular wife, Lady Mary, he challenges the established order and provokes the wrath of the Dean, the Senior Tutor, the Bursar and, most intransigent of all, Skullion the Head Porter - with hilarious and catastrophic results.
Download or read book Riotous Assembly written by Tom Sharpe and published by Atlantic Monthly Press. This book was released on 1987 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A South African woman struggles to convince the police that she has murdered her black cook.
Download or read book The Wilt Alternative written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Henry Wilt is no longer the victim of his own uncontrolled fantasies. As Head of a reconstituted Liberal Studies Department he has assumed power without authority at the Fenland College of Arts & Technology and the fantasies he now confronts are those of political bigots and reactionary bureaucrats - in addition to his wife's enthusiasm for every Organic Alternative under the compost heap and the insistence of his quadruplets on looking at every problem with an unflinching lack of sentimentality. It is only when Wilt becomes the unintentional participant in a terrorist siege that he is forced to find an answer to the problems of power, which have corrupted greater men than he. With a mental ingenuity born of his innate cowardice, Wilt fights for those liberal values which are threatened both by international terrorism and by the sophisticated methods of police anti-terrorist agents. In the confusion that follows, Wilt resumes his dialogue with the unflagging Inspector Flint and is himself subjected to the indignity of a psycho-political profile. Bitingly funny and brilliantly written, The Wilt Alternative exposes the farcical anomalies, which have become the social norms of our time.
Download or read book Ancestral Vices written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With his only friend a computer, Walden Yapp has lived a singular life. Professor of Demotic History at the University of Kloone, Yapp spends his days highlighting the corrupt capitalistic nature of the upper-classes, and his nights feeding Doris his computer the information he has gathered So when capitalist Lord Petrefact hires him to write a damaging family history, Yapp seizes the chance to chronicle the corrupt life of the Petrefact family. Spurred on by his expectations of dishonesty and depravity Yapp heads of the town of Buscott, where nobody is what they at first appear to be. Now a pawn in Lord Petrefact’s vindictive family game, Yapp’s presence is as welcome as the plague. From provoking dwarfish marital problems to uncovering an erotic toy factory Yapp’s presence sparks a chain of events that ends in death, destruction and a murder trial. Going through a car wash will never feel the same again.
Download or read book Indecent Exposure written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Piemburgem, the deceptively peaceful-looking capital of Zululand, Kommandant van Heerden, Konstabel Els and Luitenant Verkramp continue to terrorise true Englishman and even truer Zulus in their relentless search for a perfect South Africa. Kommandant van Heerden, that great Anglophile, gropes his way towards attaining true 'Englishness' in the company of the eccentric Dornford Yates Club. But Luitenant Verkramp, whose hatred of all things English is surpassed only by his fear of sex, sets in motion an experiment in mass chastity (with the help of a lady psychiatrist), which has remarkable and quite unforeseen results.
Download or read book The Throwback written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Lockhart Flawse is catapulted out of his upper-class and rapunzel-esque life with the curmudgeonly Flawse Senior, he must enter the world of suburbia, and marriage. Rendered an absolute twit in modern society by his medieval upbringing, Lockhart must resort to drastic tactics in his attempt to return to Flawse House. Faced with the horrors of suburbia, he must either terrorise, blackmail and potentially kill an entire street of his tenants, or attempt to find his unknown and elusive father in order to inherit the estate. However, with the belief that he was dropped into his mother's arms by a stork, killing a street of people may be the wiser option for the socially inept young man. He is also under mounting pressure, as it may all be in vain if his gold-digging mother-in-law has her way. Now the wife of Flawse Senior, she has decided that if Lockhart's wealthy grandfather can't have the decency to die on his own, she will take matters into her own hands.
Download or read book Simon Cadell written by Brian Slade and published by Fonthill Media. This book was released on 2018-04-28 with total page 334 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Simon Cadell announced to the world that he may have only days to live, it signalled the end of a twenty-year stage career that had just seen its finest hour-winning an Olivier Award for `Travels With My Aunt'. The British public had fallen in love with the charms of Cadell as Jeffrey Fairbrother, part of the hugely successful sitcom `Hi-de-hi!', constantly dodging the amorous advances of Ruth Madoc's Gladys Pugh. But behind the lop-sided smile lay a man full of nerves and insecurity about the looks that ultimately defined his television career. As the hapless civil servant Mr Dundridge, in `Blott on the Landscape' he displayed perfect incompetence played to perfection, brought to triumph by his naked escape from the clutches of Lady Maud as played by Geraldine James. Equally adept at Shakespeare and Chekhov as he was with Whitehall-style farces, Cadell's was a highly respected stage career achieved via a relentless workload. His many appearances as Noel Coward earned him a reputation as the definitive Coward interpreter, something he had first turned his hand to at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School. With access to family photographs and documentation, and sourced by numerous interviews, `Simon Cadell: The Authorised Biography' tells for the first time the story of a fourth generation actor who oozed charm and had a zest for a life that was cut tragically short at the peak of his powers.
Download or read book The Great Pursuit written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2002 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A totally filthy novel to put the literary world in spasms - but sure to make a shameful pile of money in America. Frensic, a literary agent with a 'nose for a bestseller' (as well as port and snuff), places this hot property with Hutchmeyer - who is the
Download or read book Vintage Stuff written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-06-01 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Peregrine Roderick Clyde-Brown is a bumbling, naive and savagely dim-witted teenager, who, as his name reveals, cannot possibly be exposed to the evils of a comprehensive school. However, with his penchant for taking even the most innocent command literally, no reputable school will accept the boy who, when told that he must turn over a new leaf, begins fondling the foliage. His parents, with high hopes and a considerable amount of bribery money, search for anywhere that will take their 'late developer.' In a school that time forgot, Peregrine's 'talents' for taking orders and having no discernible individual thought seem perfect for a promising career in the upper ranks of the British Army. It is at Groxbourne that Peregrine meets Mr Gladstone, a man whose teaching style extends as far as using lashings to teach arithmetic. After Gladstone whisks the unquestioning boy off on a hysterical mystery, Peregrine ends up storming a French castle, where he unwaveringly commits mischief, mayhem and even murder!
Download or read book Wilt written by Tom Sharpe and published by . This book was released on 1978 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Grantchester Grind written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2004 with total page 500 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The sequel to Porterhouse Blue takes us back to the hilarious goings-on at Porterhouse College. In the face of crisis, the instinct of the true Porterhouse man is to reach for the bottle... or, fall back on the traditional Cambridge skills of blackmail and kidnap. But will that be enough?
Download or read book Behind the Lens written by David Suchet and published by Constable. This book was released on 2019-10-03 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Daily Mail Showbiz Memoir of the Year 'A beautiful book' Chris Evans 'Terrifically entertaining' Mail on Sunday 'An arresting photographic voyage through the life and loves of this enigmatic English star' S magazine 'Though not a conventional autobiography, we learn what makes the national treasure tick' Daily Express In the early days of my career, I didn't think I stood a hope in hell. Look at me: I'm short, stocky, slightly overweight, deep of voice, passionate, dark haired, olive skinned, hardly your typical Englishman. What chance did I have, going into the world of British theatre? David Suchet has been a stalwart of British stage and screen for fifty years. From Shakespeare to Oscar Wilde, Freud to Poirot, Edward Teller to Doctor Who, Harold Pinter to Terence Rattigan, Questions of Faith to Decline and Fall, right up to 2019's The Price, David has done it all. Throughout this spectacular career, David has never been without a camera, enabling him to vividly document his life in photographs. Seamlessly combining photo and memoir, Behind the Lens is the story of David's remarkable life, showcasing his wonderfully evocative photographs and accompanied by his insightful and engaging commentary. In Behind the Lens, David discusses his London upbringing and love of the city, his Jewish roots and how they have influenced his career, the importance of his faith, how he really feels about fame, his love of photography and music, and his processes as an actor. He looks back on his fifty-year career, including reflections on how the industry has changed, his personal highs and lows, and how he wants to be remembered. And, of course, life after Poirot and why he's still grieving for the eccentric Belgian detective. An autobiography with a difference, this is David Suchet as you've never seen him before - from behind the lens. 'The book offers more insight into the mind and philosophy of this remarkable man than a more conventional biographical approach could have achieved' Country Life
Download or read book The Wilt Inheritance written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-10-31 with total page 339 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stuck in a job he doesn't want - but can't afford to lose - as nominal Head of the Communications Department at Fenland University, Wilt is still subject to the whims of The Powers That Be, both in and outside of work. The demands of his snobbish wife Eva, and the stupendous school fees of his despicable quadruplet daughters, cause him the biggest headaches... apart from the hangovers, that is. When Eva signs him up for a summer job, teaching the gun-toting idiot son of a lusty local aristocrat, Wilt is not amused. But, as circumstances unravel and the summer goes on, Wilt sees that the situation could be put to his financial advantage, as well as giving Eva some headaches of her own. With Tom Sharpe's famous dark humour in full evidence, and an explosive plot which takes its readers to places they never realised they wanted to visit, The Wilt Inheritance is another instant classic from the British master of farce.
Download or read book Wilt on High written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wilt is back - in form, and in a good deal of trouble. Henry Wilt is still teaching at the Fenland Tech, attempting to drill English into plasterers, dozing through tedious committee meetings and occasionally getting mildly plastered in 'The Pig in a Poke' with one of his few bearable colleagues. But the even tenor of his days is rudely interrupted when the shadow of drug dealing flickers across the Tech. Suddenly Wilt becomes the target of suspicion. His colleagues believe him to be responsible for triggering a departmental inquiry, and his old adversary Inspector Flint, knowing that he's guilty of something, sees a chance to settle a number of scores. What starts with an accusation of voyeurism in the staff lavatory (of the wrong gender to boot) leads, more or less directly, to a massive confrontation at a nearby US airbase with the forces of law and order on both sides and Wilt in his usual place - in the middle.
Download or read book The Collected Works of Billy the Kid written by Michael Ondaatje and published by Vintage Canada. This book was released on 2010-05-28 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Not a story about me through their eyes then. Find the beginning, the slight silver key to unlock it, to dig it out. Here then is a maze to begin, be in. (p. 20) Funny yet horrifying, improvisational yet highly distilled, unflinchingly violent yet tender and elegiac, Michael Ondaatje’s ground-breaking book The Collected Works of Billy the Kid is a highly polished and self-aware lens focused on the era of one of the most mythologized anti-heroes of the American West. This revolutionary collage of poetry and prose, layered with photos, illustrations and “clippings,” astounded Canada and the world when it was first published in 1969. It earned then-little-known Ondaatje his first of several Governor General’s Awards and brazenly challenged the world’s notions of history and literature. Ondaatje’s Billy the Kid (aka William H. Bonney / Henry McCarty / Henry Antrim) is not the clichéd dimestore comicbook gunslinger later parodied within the pages of this book. Instead, he is a beautiful and dangerous chimera with a voice: driven and kinetic, he also yearns for blankness and rest. A poet and lover, possessing intelligence and sensory discernment far beyond his life’s 21 year allotment, he is also a resolute killer. His friend and nemesis is Sheriff Pat Garrett, who will go on to his own fame (or infamy) for Billy’s execution. Himself a web of contradictions, Ondaatje’s Garrett is “a sane assassin sane assassin sane assassin sane assassin sane assassin sane” (p. 29) who has taught himself a language he’ll never use and has trained himself to be immune to intoxication. As the hero and anti-hero engage in the counterpoint that will lead to Billy’s predetermined death, they are joined by figures both real and imagined, including the homesteaders John and Sallie Chisum, Billy’s lover Angela D, and a passel of outlaws and lawmakers. The voices and images meld, joined by Ondaatje’s own, in a magnificent polyphonic dream of what it means to feel and think and freely act, knowing this breath is your last and you are about to be trapped by history. I am here with the range for everything corpuscle muscle hair hands that need the rub of metal those senses that that want to crash things with an axe that listen to deep buried veins in our palms those who move in dreams over your women night near you, every paw, the invisible hooves the mind’s invisible blackout the intricate never the body’s waiting rut. (p. 72)
Download or read book The Gropes written by Tom Sharpe and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-05-26 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is one of the more surprising facts about Old England that one can still find families living in the same houses their ancestors built centuries before and on land that has belonged to them since before the Norman Conquest. The Gropes of Grope Hall are one such family.... The Gropes are an old English family based in Northumberland, separated from the rest of society and as eccentric as they come. It is a line dominated by strong-willed and oversexed women, determined to produce more female heirs regardless of whether their desired partners are willing ... At the dawn of the new millennium, timid and gormless teenager Esmond is abducted and lured to Grope Hall by a descendant of the Gropes. Young Esmond is powerless to escape, and his kidnap sets in motion a stream of farcical events that will have readers laughing out loud. Tom Sharpe's trademark humour abounds in this new novel, marking him out once again as an outstanding and unique British storyteller.
