Download or read book Big Black Book for Single Old Farts written by Bridget Higgins and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-11-25 with total page 54 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The Big Black Book for Single Old Farts"A funny birthday gag gift to give to a single friend/family member turning 50+ who can remember the days of the 'old-school' dating black book! This address book comes with extra large print (font size 36) and a 'star rating line' to remind them (before they forget) of their dating experience. Help an old fart out, and get them something they can see to keep their dating contacts organized! -2 large font contact pages for each letter of the alphabet...Really big for those with declining vision!We want you to be happy with your purchase so please log in to your Amazon account to access full-view of the sample pages on the "Look Inside' tool before purchasing. All novelty books printed on a non-glossy industry standard white paper stock.Visit Bridget's Amazon page to view more adult novelty books:www.amazon.com/author/bridgethiggins

Download or read book No One Likes a Fart written by Zoe Foster Blake and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2020-01-14 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.

Download or read book Old Farts Club written by Jh Notebooks and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-06-10 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: OLD FARTS CLUB We all live with them....decrepid, surly, wrinkled...tin need of either plastic surgery or euthenasia?...but we love 'em. Lined pages - room for their inner cumudgeoning. Dead skin wipes off easily. Great funny gift for those approaching their 30s....or 40s or 50s or 60s...you get the picture.

Download or read book Sudden Death Overtime written by Steve Vernon and published by Steve Vernon. This book was released on 2016-10-17 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Sprague Deacon - one of the toughest old-time hockey players who ever skated upon a rink of hand-poured ice. Sprague was born and raised and he expects to die here on the Northern Labrador coast. What he did not expect was a tour bus full of vampires - none of whom glitter in the least bit - to pull into his town and begin lowering the population level - one corpse at a time. Sprague and his three best friends - an over-the-hill never-say quit bush league hockey team from Northern Labrador go toe-to-tooth with a tour bus full of vampires in an immortal-stakes showdown of street hockey? For the answer - throw Paul Newman's Slapshot into a blender with Steven Niles 30 Days of Night and hit frappe! Steve Vernon is the author of a dozen e-books of outrageously mind-blowing horror and dark fantasy including his horror/historical full length novel DEVIL TREE, the take-no-prisoners testosterone-fest superhero extravaganza NOTHING TO LOSE and the cult hit novella LONG HORN, BIG SHAGGY - A TALE OF WILD WEST TERROR AND REANIMATED BUFFALO. Also including the bonus time travelling hockey tale, "Time Out" as well as a bonus hockey-oriented ghost story, "Smoke Signals". "With SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME, Vernon perfectly captures the dark heart of a Canadian Winter and the lifetime passion surrounding the game of hockey. He takes a group of old friends who never backed down from a fight on the ice when they were younger and still refuse to do so even when they're old enough to know better. Toss on the rink some memorable characters, truly great dialogue, a bus load of nasty vampires, and a shocking surprise ending that you won't see coming and you've got yourself a story that's sure to be a winner." - Gord Rollo - author of VALLEY OF THE SCARECROW "If Harlan Ellison, Richard Matheson and Robert Bloch had a three-way sex romp in a hot tub, and then a team of scientists came in and filtered out the water and mixed the leftover DNA into a test tube, the resulting genetic experiment would most likely grow up into Steve Vernon." - Bookgasm "Steve Vernon is something of an anomaly in the world of horror literature. He's one of the freshest new voices in the genre although his career has spanned twenty years. Writing with a rare swagger and confidence, Steve Vernon can lead his readers through an entire gamut of emotions from outright fear and repulsion to pity and laughter." - Cemetery Dance "Armed with a bizarre sense of humor, a huge amount of originality, a flair for taking risks and a strong grasp of characterization - Steve's got the chops for sure." - Dark Discoveries "Steve Vernon was born to write. He's the real deal and we're lucky to have him." - Richard Chizmar Best of all - you don't even need to be much of a hockey fan to enjoy this yarn. Pick this one up. You won't regret it.

Download or read book Doctor Proctor s Fart Powder written by Jo Nesbo and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-12-22 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Doctor Proctor has finally created something to help him fulfil his dream of becoming a famous inventor - a super-strength fart powder that can propel people into outer space! And with the help of his new neighbour Nilly, and Nilly's friend Lisa, Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder is ready to go worldwide! But ruthless twins Truls and Trym are determined to get hold of the powder for themselves. Their plot to spoil the Doctor's plans sparks a fart-filled adventure involving a firework extravaganza, a trip to prison and an escaped anaconda. Full of humour and witty dialogue, Jo Nesbøcreates wonderfully weird characters and lets his imagination run wild in his delightful children's book début.

Download or read book Find the Farter written by Phyllis F. Hart and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2019-10-01 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Readers of all ages will love searching for the smelly offender in this book of hidden farts, a gas-tronomical new approach to the seek-and-find genre and hilarious gift for kids! Can you tell who made the smell in this fart book for kids? Find the Farter is the hilarious new can-you-find picture book that you don't want to miss! Readers of other "who farts" books will delight in finding the farter who let it rip at the zoo, a basketball game, in outer space, on a plane, and more! Perfect for the young and young at heart, this outrageous interactive book is filled with silly clues and bright, highly detailed illustrations that will keep readers giggling as they search for and find hidden objects and people. Why readers love Find the Farter: Laugh-out-loud fun: This hidden picture activity book will delight kids ages 6-12 and up, great for the whole family and classrooms A hilarious read aloud: Includes 15 illustrated scenarios, witty text, and detailed caricatures with funny and expressive faces to provide hints as to who cut the cheese, PLUS bonus items to find on every page The perfect gift for kids: Ideal for holiday stocking stuffers, birthdays, Easter baskets, Christmas, white elephant, and more Screen-free time: Provides hours entertainment for road trips, sleepovers, play dates, or school activities! Fun for reluctant young readers: Hilarious content and clever rhyming clues engages the imaginations of beginner readers and builds reading confidence as they search for the stinky culprit Can You Tell Who Made the Smell?

Download or read book The Pickup Line written by Louisa Trent and published by Trent Publishing. This book was released on 2011-07-06 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When hip, avant-garde artist, Blue Heron, and ultra-conservative businessman, Lou Franco, meet in a pickup line at a trendy vegan restaurant they quickly agree to a weekend of erotic, anything-goes, sex. But a pink flamingo turns anything-goes into something else, something neither of them expects. ...because sometimes all a man and woman really have in common is nothing and sometimes nothing will keep them apart...

Download or read book Fart Without Fear Cookbook written by Wayne Chen and published by . This book was released on 2011-02-08 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fart Without Fear: Comfort Food for Uncomfortable Times is the world’s first laugh-out-loud, instantly useable, self-improvement comfort food cookbook. Find out what uptight politically correct chefs, nutritionists and scientists have known for years but haven’t told you. Think fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, and Boston baked beans; this cookbook for everyone includes more than 70 low- to no-odor producing comfort food recipes. Complete with a unique rating system, favorite recipes, special menus, and fun facts, Fart Without Fear will show you how to eliminate odors but not the flatulence caused by your family favorites - all without sacrificing the flavor, joy and fun they evoke.

Download or read book The Book of the Thousand Nights and One Night Vol 2 written by J.C. Mardrus and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2003-09-02 with total page 938 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The second volume of this accurate translation of the wonderful and enchanting tales of the Arabian nights.

Download or read book The Musings of a Crazy Old Fart written by Jim Rother and published by Archway Publishing. This book was released on 2024-01-12 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After coming out as gay, Jason feels compelled to leave his home in Tennessee. Hoping to create a new life in Oregon, he takes a job as a companion/housekeeper/caregiver to an elderly man named Thomas. It turns out that Thomas has been expecting him and, with just a few weeks left to live, he tells Jason they are to share with the world a very different story of creation. With the love of his deceased wife ever in his mind and the promptings of his “guide,” Karl, Thomas weaves for Jason a new creation myth filled with love and purpose – a myth that deeply challenges Jason. How do you translate mystical experiences in a language easily understood within our normal reality? How does the weirdness of quantum mechanics fit into a cause-and-effect world? Those questions have challenged the greatest teachers and the everyday seeker of the truth. They challenge Thomas as well. No one can contain the infinite and put it into finite words. Yet there are steps that can be taken to invite the infinite into our experience, for it is only through direct experience that we can begin to grasp the true nature of our being.

Download or read book An Old Farts Survival Guide written by Ron Foster and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-11-21 with total page 552 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!

Download or read book Black Silk Handkerchief written by D. L. Birchfield and published by University of Oklahoma Press. This book was released on 2006 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hom-Astubby, a Choctaw lawyer-turned-photographer, suddenly finds himself at the center of the biggest manhunt and the biggest media event in Colorado's history when he befriends a huge abandoned dog while on vacation.

Download or read book The Book of the Thousand and One Nights written by E.P. Mathers and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2013-10-18 with total page 3253 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: First published in 2013. An unabashed and accurate translation of the wonderful and enchanting tales of the Arabian Nights, complete in four volumes.

Download or read book Hank E O Panky s Little Black and Blue Book written by Hank E. O'Panky and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2000-08-04 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This hilarious spoof of the former bestseller Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book not only satirizes his book but also hysterically lampoons a variety of contemporary topics, such as the legal system, the battles between the sexes, violence, the obsession with winning, and other human foibles. In O’Panky’s own words: "Maybe a few short years ago...[Penick’s] laid-back, namby-pamby, Liberace-like methods may have worked to some extent, but to succeed in a sport today, you need to be aggressive and physical, obnoxious and noisy, pesty and loutish." This timely book covers all the basic elements of golf, such as the mechanics of an effective swing, the mental aspects of the game, and "the importance of gastrointestinal noises during close matches." It will appeal to a wide range of readers: men, women, teens, and even aliens, such as Canadians and Martians. SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Unlike those mildly and so-called humorous golf books you generally find on the bookshelf, this one may result in laugh-specific injuries.

Download or read book Sweet Farts written by Raymond Bean and published by Two Lions. This book was released on 2010 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Keith Emerson discovered the cure for the common fart when he invented Sweet Farts. He's a 10-year-old in charge of his own company, runs a science lab, and Keith's a self-made millionaire! So, what could possibly be bothering him?

Download or read book The Lorax written by Dr. Seuss and published by RH Childrens Books. This book was released on 2013-09-24 with total page 72 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrate Earth Day with Dr. Seuss and the Lorax in this classic picture book about protecting the environment! I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. Dr. Seuss’s beloved story teaches kids to speak up and stand up for those who can’t. With a recycling-friendly “Go Green” message, The Lorax allows young readers to experience the beauty of the Truffula Trees and the danger of taking our earth for granted, all in a story that is timely, playful and hopeful. The book’s final pages teach us that just one small seed, or one small child, can make a difference. Printed on recycled paper, this book is the perfect gift for Earth Day and for any child—or child at heart—who is interested in recycling, advocacy and the environment, or just loves nature and playing outside. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not. “Pretty much all the stuff you need to know is in Dr. Seuss.” –President Barack Obama

Download or read book Fart Quest written by Aaron Reynolds and published by Roaring Brook Press. This book was released on 2020-09-15 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Stay tuned for further gassy exploits." - Booklist, starred review Jam-packed with potty humor, feats of bravery, and magical friendships, Fart Quest by bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell is perfect for every young hero looking for a wild adventure. After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie—three lowly apprentices—decide to impersonate their mentors and pick up the mantle as heroes of the realm. But they need more than a fancy robe, magic staff, and book of magical beasts to be real heroes. They need a quest! So when The Great and Powerful Kevin puts out a call for help, seeking the coveted Golden Llama and its magical golden fart, young Fart and his friends jump at the chance and embark on a journey they were destined for. This title has Common Core connections.