Download or read book 50 Utterly Silly Stories written by Belinda Gallagher and published by . This book was released on 2012 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This collection of nonsensical tales contains a feast of silly shenanigans, mischievous tomfoolery and hilarious goings on.
Download or read book 37 UTTERLY SILLY STORIES written by Kelly MILES and published by . This book was released on 2017-03 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 37 silly stories to delight and entertain, with bright and engaging illustrations. Features well-known and loved authors such as Edward Lear, Lewis Carrol and Ruyard Kipling.
Download or read book We re Not from Here written by Geoff Rodkey and published by Crown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Imagine being forced to move to a new planet where YOU are the alien! From the creator of the Tapper Twins, New York Times bestselling author Geoff Rodkey delivers a topical, sci-fi middle-grade novel that proves friendship and laughter can transcend even a galaxy of differences. The first time I heard about Planet Choom, we'd been on Mars for almost a year. But life on the Mars station was grim, and since Earth was no longer an option (we may have blown it up), it was time to find a new home. That's how we ended up on Choom with the Zhuri. They're very smart. They also look like giant mosquitos. But that's not why it's so hard to live here. There's a lot that the Zhuri don't like: singing (just ask my sister, Ila), comedy (one joke got me sent to the principal's office), or any kind of emotion. The biggest problem, though? The Zhuri don't like us. And if humankind is going to survive, it's up to my family to change their minds. No pressure.
Download or read book 38 UTTERLY FUNNY STORIES written by Kelly MILES and published by . This book was released on 2017-07 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book In Fifty Years We ll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-05-17 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.
Download or read book A Confederacy of Dunces written by John Kennedy Toole and published by Grove/Atlantic, Inc.. This book was released on 2007-12-01 with total page 414 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the Pulitzer Prize “A masterwork . . . the novel astonishes with its inventiveness . . . it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue.”—The New York Times Book Review A Confederacy of Dunces is an American comic masterpiece. John Kennedy Toole's hero, one Ignatius J. Reilly, is "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredibly true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures" (Henry Kisor, Chicago Sun-Times).
Download or read book Classic Stories for Girls written by Belinda Gallagher and published by Miles Kelly Publishing. This book was released on 2012-07 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A timeless collection of such authors as Lewis Carroll, Anna Sewell and Kenneth Grahame. Each author is introduced to the reader.
Download or read book Funny Stories written by Belinda GALLAGHER and published by . This book was released on 2019-04-05 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Prepare to laugh out loud with this fantastically entertaining collection of mischief and mayhem. This book features favourite funny stories and extracts from authors such as Lewis Carroll and Rudyard Kipling. Finished with colourful illustrations, packed with humour, this rib-tickling collection will encourage a love of reading in children.
Download or read book Before We Were Strangers written by Renée Carlino and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-08-18 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M
Download or read book A Little Life written by Hanya Yanagihara and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2016-01-26 with total page 833 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.
Download or read book Walk Two Moons written by Sharon Creech and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-06 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In her own singularly beautiful style, Newbery Medal winner Sharon Creech intricately weaves together two tales, one funny, one bittersweet, to create a heartwarming, compelling, and utterly moving story of love, loss, and the complexity of human emotion. Thirteen-year-old Salamanca Tree Hiddle, proud of her country roots and the "Indian-ness in her blood," travels from Ohio to Idaho with her eccentric grandparents. Along the way, she tells them of the story of Phoebe Winterbottom, who received mysterious messages, who met a "potential lunatic," and whose mother disappeared. As Sal entertains her grandparents with Phoebe's outrageous story, her own story begins to unfold—the story of a thirteen-year-old girl whose only wish is to be reunited with her missing mother.
Download or read book Princess Stories written by Kelly MILES and published by . This book was released on 2017-03 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Be prepared to be swept off your feet by this dazzling collection of Princess Stories. Tales of romance, enchantment and daring deeds are included in over 30 spectacular stories divided into themed sections. Each story is beautifully decorated with captivating illustrations. This gorgeous anthology will delight all young princesses and princes in the making.
Download or read book Over 1000 Fantastic Facts written by Belinda Gallagher and published by . This book was released on 2010 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This title provides children with masses of knowledge in the shape of 1000 numbered facts. It covers five subjects: Earth & space, prehistoric life, animals, history and science.
Download or read book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes written by Cory O'Brien and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-03-05 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Download or read book Terrible Tales written by Jennifer Quaggin and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2012-11-17 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One day, not long ago, Sir Jasper Gowlings was happily minding his own business when he was startled by a powerful gust of wind that blew his front door clean off its hinges. Standing on his doorstep was a bizarre, wizened old hag wrapped in a moldy, moth-eaten cloak that smelled strangely of wet dog and split pea soup. Seconds later, Sir Jasper found himself in possession of an ancient, rotting book of magical and portentous tales and a terrifying letter that ordered him to share the contents of the book with the worldor else. Sir Jasper slowly turned the crumbling pages and began reading the tales of Cinderella, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, and the Three Little Pigs. These were not the old, lying, deceitful tales that once tricked him into believing that only attractive, royal-like people, talking pigs, or poor wee tikes with evil stepmothers could ever find love, joy, and delicious things to eat. Oh no! These tales told the absolute truth, 100 percent, and all of them ended in a manner that curdled Sir Jaspers blood and made his hair stand on end in horror. Be warned. Anyone who chooses to ignore the teachings inside Terrible Tales may find themselves in dreadful danger. Just take it from Sir Jasper who, after turning the last page of the frightful manuscript, knew he must heed its lessonsor pay the price. Fans of dark comedy in the style of Roald Dahl and Lemony Snicket will delight in these wicked alter egos. ForeWord Clarion Review Kids and parents alike will chortle at Miseriuss lively, pungent prose. A twisted, entertaining take on the kids canon. Kirkus Review
Download or read book Awkward Family Photos written by Mike Bender and published by Crown. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With twenty-five new photographs for the eBook edition, the New York Times bestseller is now more awkward than ever Based on the hit website, AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com (“painful, regrettable, horrifyingly awesome snaps of family bonding, you will laugh so hard that people in adjoining offices will ask what’s wrong with you”—Esquire), this full color book features never-before-seen photos and hilarious personal stories covering everything from uncomfortable moments with relatives, teen angst, sibling rivalry, and family vacations from hell. Cringe at the forced poses, bad hair, and matching outfits--all prompting us to look at our own families and celebrate the fact that we're not alone. Nothing says awkward better than an uncomfortable family photograph!
Download or read book It s Kind of a Funny Story written by Ned Vizzini and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2010-09-25 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
