Download or read book 101 Ways to Kill My Baby written by Shannon Thor and published by . This book was released on 2012-12-15 with total page 50 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One exasperated first-time mom's tale of navigating through the frightening and baffling ordeal of a modern pregnancy.
Download or read book 101 Ways to Kill Your Boss written by Graham Roumieu and published by Plume Books. This book was released on 2009 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author and illustrator of the hilarious "Bigfoot: I Not Dead" and "Me Write Book" comes out of the woods and charges straight into the corporate jungle with this collection of deadly doodles.
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Baby written by Jacob Sager Weinstein and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Download or read book 101 Ways To NOT Kill Your Baby written by Brad Gosse and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2023-04-24 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you searching for the perfect gag, baby shower gift? This is a joke book! Welcome to my essential dark humor guide for new parents: '101 Ways To Not Kill Your Baby'. Written by a comedian, this guide is packed with cautionary tales that highlight the potential dangers that babies can face, and practical advice on how to keep them safe. With a dark and humorous tone, the guide covers a range of scenarios that all parents should be aware of, such as hazards in construction zones, outdoor areas, and even at home with household pets. From protecting your baby from poisonous animals to keeping harmful substances out of reach, this guide covers all the essential tips and tricks to help you protect your little one.
Download or read book Top 10 Ways To Kill Your Sister written by Steve Hudgins and published by . This book was released on 2020-02-21 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Imagine the look on your sister's face when they see you reading this book. If you're really looking for the top 10 ways to kill your sister, stop what you are doing and seek psychiatric help immediately! For the rest of you, bring some dark humor to your day! This book is all about the reaction you get when someone sees it sitting on your desk or if they witness you actually reading it! Take it on a trip. Chill out with it in the living room. There is a funny little story within the book, but that's secondary to the response you'll get when people catch a glimpse of you with this! Great for a practical joke or some light hearted black humor, this prank book will surely bring a demented smile to the faces of those who share the same morbid sense of humor as you. Also makes a great gag gift for a brother, sister, relatives or anyone who enjoys some sick death humor. Fun for the whole dysfunctional family!
Download or read book 101 Ways to Kill a Zombie written by Robb Pearlman and published by Universe Publishing(NY). This book was released on 2013 with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An illustrated guide to the best ways to rid society of the undead, this book takes a pop-culture bite out of the trend that just won't die. It doesn't take a lot of braaaaaaaiiiinnnns to recognize that society is feasting on zombie culture. This accessible, affordable, and Gorey-like (and gory) book showcases inventive methods to off everyone's favorite lovable, decaying undead. More sidesplitting than an evisceration, 101 Ways to Kill a Zombie will keep readers laughing throughout the upcoming apocalypse.
Download or read book Hello Cruel World written by Kate Bornstein and published by Seven Stories Press. This book was released on 2011-01-04 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrated transsexual trailblazer Kate Bornstein has, with more humor and spunk than any other, ushered us into a world of limitless possibility through a daring re-envisionment of the gender system as we know it. Here, Bornstein bravely and wittily shares personal and unorthodox methods of survival in an often cruel world. A one-of-a-kind guide to staying alive outside the box, Hello, Cruel World is a much-needed unconventional approach to life for those who want to stay on the edge, but alive. Hello, Cruel World features a catalog of 101 alternatives to suicide that range from the playful (moisturize!), to the irreverent (shatter some family values), to the highly controversial. Designed to encourage readers to give themselves permission to unleash their hearts' harmless desires, the book has only one directive: "Don't be mean." It is this guiding principle that brings its reader on a self-validating journey, which forges wholly new paths toward a resounding decision to choose life. Tenderly intimate and unapologetically edgy, Kate Bornstein is the radical role model, the affectionate best friend, and the guiding mentor all in one.
Download or read book 101 Ways to Kill Your Ex Husband written by Sarah Thomas and published by Sarah Thomas. This book was released on 2021-08-06 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mixed Genre based on revenge fiction and surviving domestic abuse
Download or read book 101 Ways to Kill Your Friend written by Jacob Shelley and published by . This book was released on 2015-11-21 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We all have that one friend right? You know the one I'm talking about. The one who we know we hang around with because they are in the friendship group, but we would happily ditch at the first opportunity. And sometimes, they can be so irritating and annoying, we want to kill them.This is a creative guide to the some of the best and most obscure ways to rid yourself of your most annoying friends, and perhaps just die laughing in the process!
Download or read book Trump 101 written by Donald J. Trump and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2006-10-20 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Trump 101, Trump himself becomes your personal mentor and coach as he shares tips, tactics, and strategies, all designed to help you make the most of yourself, your career, and your life. Each chapter covers a basic rule or belief, and shows you how to make it work for you. Learn the vital qualities and skills that every successful businessperson needs.
Download or read book 101 Ways to Work Out on the Ball written by Elizabeth Gillies and published by Fair Winds Press. This book was released on 2004-11-01 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A full-color photographic book with 101 different moves you can do with an exercise ball. Exercise balls are cropping up in gyms all over the world, are sold in places like Kmart and Target, and are becoming the latest fitness craze. The thing is, what the heck do you do with the ball once you've bought it? Pilates, yoga, and more! Liz Gillies, respected fitness trainer and star of several best-selling exercise videos, shows you 101 things you can do with a ball to tone, trim, and firm up.
Download or read book 101 Ways to Bug Your Teacher written by Lee Wardlaw and published by Putnam Juvenile. This book was released on 2004 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Steve "Sneeze" Wyatt attempts to thwart his parents' plan to have him skip eighth grade, but he has bigger problems when his friends disapprove of his new list and Mrs. "Fierce" Pierce threatens to keep him from the Invention Convention.
Download or read book 101 Ways To Promote Yourself written by Raleigh Pinskey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 1997-07 with total page 420 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ralph Pinskey offers readers a crash course on how to get the attention they need. This book reveals the insider secrets learned from years of experience and how these low-cost, high powered techniques can carry them to the top of their market and beyond.
Download or read book How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You written by The Oatmeal and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-10-09 with total page 138 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!
Download or read book How to Kill Your Girlfriend s Cat written by Robert Daphne and published by Dolphin Books. This book was released on 1988 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Newborn Sleep Book written by Lewis Jassey and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-08-05 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Developed and refined by two successful pediatricians, the "Jassey Way" boasts more than a 90% success rate of getting children to sleep through the night in their first 4 weeks of life. A safe and proven technique, the Jassey Way uses a feeding schedule that allows newborns (and their parents) a full night's sleep at a younger age than other sleep training techniques.
Download or read book 100 Ways to Kill a Teacher written by Margaret Aisicovich and published by FriesenPress. This book was released on 2021-08-31 with total page 109 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What does it mean to be a cog in the educational system? This compilation of stories from a long and distinguished career in education will help those entering the field—or still in it—to understand the many pitfalls, heartbreaks, and limitations they’ll face. But it will also be eye-opening for anyone with a stake in the world of education: parents, administrators, consultants, teachers, and just about anyone who hopes to live in a society where the education system actually serves those it’s supposed to. Organized into ten lively chapters, it tackles the hard questions such as: getting hired, sexual harassment, racism towards teachers and students, paternalism, toxic positivity, dealing with crazy coworkers, and self-care. It speaks to the gaps, hidden agendas, and rules of the public education system from the point of view of a committed, long-time educator. Biting, insightful, infused with righteous anger...and frequently hilarious, 100 Ways to Kill a Teacher works as an early warning system to new teachers, as a guide for current educators, and as a great resource for parents.
