Download or read book Dad And Me Setting Farts Free written by Jane Bexley and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2021-04-28 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New Father's Day Gift For 2021! Does your dad fart? Of course he does! This silly rhyming story will have you bursting with laughter as the little bear tries to be just like his dad in every way, including his amazing toot power. This book is appropriate for ALL AGES who don't mind silly toot humor (that is not overly gross). Words used include: toot, fart, gas, rump, booty and bum. Grab this new release in time for Father's Day! 8.5" x 8.5" Premium glossy cover Hilarious (and familiar) fart situations around the house Full color, professional illustrations An easy quick gift for dad from the kids (and kids at heart)

Download or read book Fart Proudly written by Benjamin Franklin and published by Frog Books. This book was released on 2003-03-31 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.

Download or read book The Amaranth Chronicles written by Alexander Barnes and published by Inkshares. This book was released on 2017-11-14 with total page 406 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Helix was meant to be a revolution, but even the most pure of intentions can spawn terrible evil, and the revolution of information and innovation they hoped for may not be the one they get.

Download or read book For the Best Dad Ever written by Summersdale Publishers and published by Summersdale. This book was released on 2023-03-09 with total page 165 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Show your awesome dad just how much he means to you with this heartfelt collection of quotes and timeless wisdom Is your dad one in a million? Whether he's the best hug-giver, the ultimate bad-joke-teller or simply your biggest fan, say a massive thank you with the help of this little book. These pages offer a curated collection of witty thoughts and wise quotations about the joys and quirks of fatherhood. Whatever you want your message to be - moving, kind or just plain funny - pay tribute to your number-one guy with this perfect keepsake. This is for the dads who: Build the coolest dens from a load of old junk Love embarrassing you whenever there's a dancefloor involved Tell the most groan-worthy gags Provide a first-rate taxi service and never charge a penny There's nobody quite like your dad. Show him how much you care with a meaningful gift celebrating everything that makes him the best dad ever.

Download or read book The Best Little Boy in the World written by Andrew Tobias and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1993-05-11 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The classic account of growing up gay in America. "The best little boy in the world never had wet dreams or masturbated; he always topped his class, honored mom and dad, deferred to elders and excelled in sports . . . . The best little boy in the world was . . . the model IBM exec . . . The best little boy in the world was a closet case who 'never read anything about homosexuality.' . . . John Reid comes out slowly, hilariously, brilliantly. One reads this utterly honest account with the shock of recognition." The New York Times "The quality of this book is fantastic because it comes of equal parts honesty and logic and humor. It is far from being the story of a Gay crusader, nor is it the story of a closet queen. It is the story of a normal boy growing into maturity without managing to get raped into, or taunted because of, his homosexuality. . . . He is bright enough to be aware of his hangups and the reasons for them. And he writes well enough that he doesn't resort to sensationalism . . . ." San Francisco Bay Area Reporter

Download or read book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F ck written by Mark Manson and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Download or read book The Musings of a Crazy Old Fart written by Jim Rother and published by Archway Publishing. This book was released on 2024-01-12 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After coming out as gay, Jason feels compelled to leave his home in Tennessee. Hoping to create a new life in Oregon, he takes a job as a companion/housekeeper/caregiver to an elderly man named Thomas. It turns out that Thomas has been expecting him and, with just a few weeks left to live, he tells Jason they are to share with the world a very different story of creation. With the love of his deceased wife ever in his mind and the promptings of his “guide,” Karl, Thomas weaves for Jason a new creation myth filled with love and purpose – a myth that deeply challenges Jason. How do you translate mystical experiences in a language easily understood within our normal reality? How does the weirdness of quantum mechanics fit into a cause-and-effect world? Those questions have challenged the greatest teachers and the everyday seeker of the truth. They challenge Thomas as well. No one can contain the infinite and put it into finite words. Yet there are steps that can be taken to invite the infinite into our experience, for it is only through direct experience that we can begin to grasp the true nature of our being.

Download or read book CivilWarLand in Bad Decline written by George Saunders and published by Random House Trade Paperbacks. This book was released on 2016-04-26 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Since its publication in 1996, George Saunders’s debut collection has grown in esteem from a cherished cult classic to a masterpiece of the form, inspiring an entire generation of writers along the way. In six stories and a novella, Saunders hatches an unforgettable cast of characters, each struggling to survive in an increasingly haywire world. With a new introduction by Joshua Ferris and a new author’s note by Saunders himself, this edition is essential reading for those seeking to discover or revisit a virtuosic, disturbingly prescient voice. Praise for George Saunders and CivilWarLand in Bad Decline “It’s no exaggeration to say that short story master George Saunders helped change the trajectory of American fiction.”—The Wall Street Journal “Saunders’s satiric vision of America is dark and demented; it’s also ferocious and very funny.”—Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times “George Saunders is a writer of arresting brilliance and originality, with a sure sense of his material and apparently inexhaustible resources of voice. [CivilWarLand in Bad Decline] is scary, hilarious, and unforgettable.”—Tobias Wolff “Saunders makes the all-but-impossible look effortless.”—Jonathan Franzen “Not since Twain has America produced a satirist this funny.”—Zadie Smith “An astoundingly tuned voice—graceful, dark, authentic, and funny—telling just the kinds of stories we need to get us through these times.”—Thomas Pynchon

Download or read book Bad Dad Jokes written by Willow Creek Press and published by . This book was released on 2018 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The dad joke is a delicate thing. Part knowing humor, part lack of humor, it's only requirement is that it elicits not a laugh from its audience but the annoyed response: "Daaaaaaaaad." Bad Dad Jokes is the biggest, baddest collection of "so bad they're actually good" jokes that are guaranteed to deliver a daily dose of groans and giggles. Bad Dad Jokes is a one of a kind collection of extraordinary humor in one book. By giving this collection as a gift you will bring humor and lasting memories to events for years to come.

Download or read book Did Somebody Step on a Duck written by Jim Dawson and published by Ten Speed Press. This book was released on 2010-05-04 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This impolite, aromatic, and incredibly erudite flatulence compendium will astound you with: • The recent discovery of the world’s oldest joke, a proverb from the Old Babylonian period, that turned out to be—that’s right, folks—a fart joke. • A new reading of Emily Dickinson’s poetry that “reveals” the true meaning behind “They Have a Little Odor.” • A harrowing account of Apollo astronauts getting inner-space gas from hydrogen bubbles in their drinking water on their way to the moon. • The other Tiger Woods scandal—this one involving a mysterious cheek-squeak recorded while Tiger sized up an approach shot at the 2009 Buick Open. • A scientist who built the world’s biggest whoopee cushion and lived to tell about it . . . . . . and many more wacky but true tales from the fart historian who brought you the best-selling Who Cut the Cheese? and its combustible sequel, Blame It on the Dog. In this incomparable collection you’ll experience firsthand the Jungian implications of farting, the environmental import of “flatulence cards” in the carbon-offset market, and the brutally honest social commentary of a man whose office chair broadcasts his farts on Twitter. After reading this book you’ll proudly proclaim, “I fart, therefore I am.”

Download or read book The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee written by Wendy Mogel and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-12-02 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The beloved bestseller that offers a practical, inspiring new roadmap for raising self-reliant, ethical, and compassionate children. In the trenches of a typical day, every parent encounters a child afflicted with ingratitude and entitlement. In a world where material abundance abounds, parents want so badly to raise self-disciplined, appreciative, and resourceful children who are not spoiled by the plentitude around them. But how to accomplish this feat? The answer has eluded the best-intentioned mothers and fathers who overprotect, overindulge, and overschedule their children's lives. Dr. Mogel helps parents learn how to turn their children's worst traits into their greatest attributes. Starting with stories of everyday parenting problems and examining them through the lens of the Torah, the Talmud, and important Jewish teachings, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee shows parents how to teach children to honor their parents and to respect others, escape the danger of overvaluing children's need for self-expression so that their kids don't become "little attorneys," accept that their children are both ordinary and unique, and treasure the power and holiness of the present moment. It is Mogel's singular achievement that she makes these teachings relevant for any era and any household of any faith. A unique parenting book, designed for use both in the home and in parenting classes, with an on-line teaching guide to help facilitate its use, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee is both inspiring and effective in the day-to-day challenge of raising self-reliant children.

Download or read book Rich Dad s Success Stories written by Robert T. Kiyosaki and published by Business Plus. This book was released on 2003-10-01 with total page 153 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An extraordinary collection of business success stories--all applying the principles from the #1 "New York Times" bestseller "Rich Dad Poor Dad."

Download or read book American Wife written by Taya Kyle and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2015-05-04 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The widow of “American Sniper” Chris Kyle shares their private story: an unforgettable testament to the power of love and faith in the face of war and unimaginable loss--and a moving tribute to a man whose true heroism ran even deeper than the legend. In early 2013, Taya Kyle and her husband Chris were the happiest they ever had been. Their decade-long marriage had survived years of war that took Chris, a U.S. Navy SEAL, away from Taya and their two children for agonizingly long stretches while he put his life on the line in many major battles of the Iraq War. After struggling to readjust to life out of the military, Chris had found new purpose in redirecting his lifelong dedication to service to supporting veterans and their families. Their love had deepened, and, most special of all, their family was whole, finally. Then, the unthinkable. On February 2, 2013, Chris and his friend Chad Littlefield were killed while attempting to help a troubled vet. The life Chris and Taya fought so hard to build together was shattered. In an instant, Taya became a single parent of two. A widow. A young woman facing the rest of her life without the man she loved. Chris and Taya’s remarkable story has captivated millions through Clint Eastwood’s blockbuster, Academy Award-winning film American Sniper, starring Bradley Cooper as Chris and Sienna Miller as Taya, and because of Chris’s bestselling memoir, in which Taya contributed passages that formed the book’s emotional core. Now, with trusted collaborator Jim DeFelice, Taya writes in never-before-told detail about the hours, days, and months after his shocking death when grief threatened to overwhelm her. Then there were wearying battles to protect her husband’s legacy and reputation. And yet throughout, friendship, family, and a deepening faith were lifelines that sustained her and the kids when the sorrow became too much. Two years after her husband’s tragic death, Taya has found renewed meaning and connection to Chris by advancing their shared mission of “serving those who serve others,” particularly military and first-responder families. She and the children now are embracing a new future, one that honors the past but also looks forward with hope, gratitude, and joy. American Wife is one of the most remarkable memoirs of the year -- a universal chronicle of love and heartbreak, service and sacrifice, faith and purpose that will inspire every reader.

Download or read book The Palace of Illusions written by Chitra Divakaruni and published by Pan Macmillan. This book was released on 2010-11-30 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Palace of Illusions takes us back to a time that is half-history, half-myth, and wholly magical; narrated by Panchaali, the wife of the five Pandava brothers, we are - finally - given a woman's take on the timeless tale that is the Mahabharata Tracing Panchaali's life - from fiery birth and lonely childhood, where her beloved brother is her only true companion; through her complicated friendship with the enigmatic Krishna; to marriage, motherhood and Panchaali's secret attraction to the mysterious man who is her husbands' most dangerous enemy - The Palace of Illusions is a deeply human novel about a woman born into a man's world - a world of warriors, gods and the ever manipulating hands of fate. ‘A mythic tale brimming with warriors, magic and treachery’ Los Angeles Times ‘A radiant entree into an ancient mythology . . . Charming and remarkable’ Houston Chronicle ‘A woman’s look at crime and punishment, loyalty, promises, love and vengeance . . . With The Palace of Illusions, Divakaruni has proven that her storytelling talents put her right up there with the best’ Miami Herald

Download or read book Dark Age written by Pierce Brown and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2019-07-30 with total page 849 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER ***The explosive fifth novel in the Red Rising Series*** The Number One New York Times bestselling author of Morning Star returns to the Red Rising universe with the thrilling sequel to Iron Gold. He broke the chains Then broke the world.... A decade ago Darrow led a revolution, and laid the foundations for a new world. Now he's an outlaw. Cast out of the very Republic he founded, with half his fleet destroyed, he wages a rogue war on Mercury. Outnumbered, outgunned but not out thought. Is he still the hero who broke the chains? Or will he become the agent of the world's destruction? Is it time for another legend to take his place? Lysander au Lune, the displaced heir to the old empire, has returned to the Core. First he must survive Gold backstabbing, then Darrow. Will he bring peace to mankind at the edge of his sword? And on Luna, Mustang, the embattled sovereign of the Republic, must save both democracy and her exiled husband millions of kilometres away. The only thing certain in the Solar System is treachery. And that the Rising is entering a new Dark Age. PRAISE FOR THE RED RISING SERIES: 'Pierce Brown's empire-crushing debut is a sprawling vision . . . Ender, Katniss, and now Darrow' - Scott Sigler, New York Times bestselling author of Pandemic '[A] top-notch debut novel . . . Red Rising ascends above a crowded dystopian field' - USA Today '[A] spectacular adventure . . . one heart-pounding ride . . . Pierce Brown's dizzyingly good debut novel evokes The Hunger Games, Lord of the Flies, and Ender's Game. . . . [Red Rising] has everything it needs to become meteoric' - Entertainment Weekly

Download or read book Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes written by Spiffy McChappy and published by . This book was released on 2019-05-23 with total page 105 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The perfect gift for any Dad who loves telling jokes and making everyone laugh! (cough cough) A fantastic novelty gift for Fathers day, Birthdays & Christmas. Clean family friendly jokes. The first page has space for you to write a special message, an ideal alternative to a card. Please note this book is not a joke book about Dads. It is a joke book full of Dad jokes. A Dad joke can best be described as an embarrassingly bad joke. Often demonstrated during special occasions & makes the family wince. This book will be a jolly old laugh for your old chap, but not so much for you. Please also note: No refunds will be given due to any embarrassment this book will cause you or if your eyes get sore from constant eye rolls.

Download or read book Run with the Horsemen written by Ferrol Sams and published by Penguin Books. This book was released on 1984-07-03 with total page 436 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of The Whisper of the River and Epiphany. In this coming-of-age story, Porter Osbourne Jr. is a precocious, sensitive, and rambunctious boy trying to make it through adolescence during the Depression. On a red-clay farm in Georgia, he learns all there is to know about cotton-chopping, hog-killing, watermelon-thumping, and mule-handling. School provides a quick course in practical joking, schoolboy crushes, athletic glory, and clandestine sex. But it is Porter’s family-- his genteel, patient mother, his swarm of cousins, his snuff-dipping grandmother, and, most of all, his beloved though flawed father--who teaches Porter the painful truths about growing up strong enough to run with the horsemen. "The writing is elegant, reflective, and amused. Mr. Sams is a storyteller sure of his audience . . . gifted with perfect timing."--The New York Times Book Review "Remarkable both for its humor and its sustained and detailed picture of a mischievous Southern farmboy’s life during the Great Depression."--The Washington Post