Download or read book Why Mommy Swears written by Gill Sims and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2019-03-12 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why Mommy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mommy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.

Download or read book Why Mommy Drinks written by Gill Sims and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-11-21 with total page 283 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why Mommy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane.

Download or read book Go the F k to Sleep written by Adam Mansbach and published by Akashic Books. This book was released on 2011-06-14 with total page 18 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

Download or read book Call Me Mummy written by Tina Baker and published by Serpent's Tail. This book was released on 2021-02-25 with total page 339 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Dark, heartbreaking and totally absorbing' - LORRAINE KELLY 'Brilliantly written and emotionally compulsive' - HARRIET TYCE 'A powerful and thought-provoking page turner' - KATERINA DIAMOND CALL ME MUMMY. IT'LL BE BETTER IF YOU DO. Glamorous, beautiful Mummy has everything a woman could want. Except for a daughter of her very own. So when she sees Kim - heavily pregnant, glued to her phone and ignoring her eldest child in a busy shop - she does what anyone would do. She takes her. But foul-mouthed little Tonya is not the daughter that Mummy was hoping for. As Tonya fiercely resists Mummy's attempts to make her into the perfect child, Kim is demonised by the media as a 'scummy mummy', who deserves to have her other children taken too. Haunted by memories of her own childhood and refusing to play by the media's rules, Kim begins to spiral, turning on those who love her. Though they are worlds apart, Mummy and Kim have more in common than they could possibly imagine. But it is five-year-old Tonya who is caught in the middle... ________________________________________ *** A NETGALLEY BOOK OF THE MONTH *** 'Disturbing and distinctive, this is a book I couldn't put down' - AMANDA JENNINGS 'Tense and gripping, these characters will stay with me' - ALICE CLARK-PLATTS 'Psychologically twisty and utterly gripping' - LISA HALL

Download or read book Mommy Cusses written by Dorman Serena and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2021-06-25 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of Go the F*ck to Sleep, Mommy Cusses is a hilarious novelty parenting book full of tell-it-like-it-is quotes, snarky lists, and too-true anecdotes that will resonate with new moms everywhere. For new-ish mothers who need to laugh at the absurdity of parenting so they don't cry, who are looking for a we're-in-this-together sense of solidarity, and who don't have time to read a "real" book, here is a hilarious and highly relatable collection of mom malarkey. There are real-talk quotes, helpful lists (such as "How to Look Like You Have Your Act Together"), "mom-tivities," and quizzes, all delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Packaged in a handy trim size with colorful illustrations throughout, Mommy Cusses is the perfect gift for moms and moms-to-be who need some comic relief. • GREAT GIFT: Mommy Cusses is super relatable and laugh-out-loud funny, making it an easy gift for Mother's Day or a baby shower, or an anytime gift for a parent. • PERENNIAL TOPIC: It doesn't take long to experience all the ups and downs of parenting. Mommy Cusses features timeless mommy humor that won't go out of style and a fresh look and feel that speaks to young parents. Perfect for: • Expectant parents and parents of children under 5 • Shoppers looking for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift for a friend, spouse, or daughter • Followers of the Mommy Cusses blog or Instagram account

Download or read book Things My Daughter Needs to Know written by Dilvin Yasa and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2012-07-01 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The perfect book for mums who want to share with their daughters and for daughters who can't always share with their mums.By the time Dilvin Yasa left home, she'd already dated a string of bad men, fallen prey to countless fashion faux pas and suffered too many awkward sex talks with her parents. Determined that the next generation should learn from her experiences, she wrote a series of letters for her young daughter to read when she reaches the eve of adulthood – sharing the things that only a mother can teach her daughter.Things My Daughter Needs to Know is both an accessible parenting book and an edgy self-help guide for young women needing reliable info on picking the right bra, avoiding full-moon parties, tackling the dating game and flying the nest.Drawing on years of experience as a journalist for women's magazines and sharing – with admirable honesty – more than a few embarrassing stories from her own coming of age, Dilvin Yasa gives us frank, fearless and very funny advice on the sometimes painful, often joyful and always interesting journey into womanhood.

Download or read book Scream All Night written by Derek Milman and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2018-07-24 with total page 341 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A darkly hilarious contemporary realistic young adult novel about growing up and finding your place in the world, perfect for fans of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl and Running with Scissors. Goodreads Hottest YA Books of Summer * B&N Teen Blog Most Anticipated YA Debuts of 2018 * Buzzfeed 27 YA Books You’ll Want to Devour by the Pool This Summer DARIO HEYWARD KNOWS ONE THING: He’s never going back to Moldavia Studios, the iconic castle that served as the set, studio, and home to the cast and crew of dozens of cult classic B-horror movies. It’s been three years since Dario’s even seen the place, after getting legally emancipated from his father, the infamous director of Moldavia’s creature features. But then Dario’s brother invites him home to a mysterious ceremony involving his father and a tribute to his first film—The Curse of the Mummy’s Tongue. Dario swears his homecoming will be a one-time visit. A way for him to get closure on his past—and reunite with Hayley, his first love and costar of Zombie Children of the Harvest Sun, a production fraught with real-life tragedy—and say good-bye for good. But the unthinkable happens—Dario gets sucked back into the twisted world of Moldavia and the horrors, both real and imagined, he’s left there. With only months to rescue the sinking studio and everyone who has built their lives there, Dario must confront the demons of his past—and the uncertainties of his future. But can he escape the place that’s haunted him his whole life?

Download or read book The Twins written by Saskia Sarginson and published by Redhook. This book was released on 2013-07-30 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: They were inseparable until an innocent mistake tore them apart. Growing up, Viola and Issy clung to each other in the wake of their mother's eccentricity, as she dragged them from a commune to a tiny Welsh village. They thought the three of them would be together forever. But an innocent mistake one summer set them on drastically different paths. Now in their twenties, Issy is trying to hold together a life as a magazine art director, while Viola is slowly destroying herself, consumed with guilt over the events they unknowingly set into motion as children. When it seems that Viola might never recover, Issy returns to the town they haven't seen in a decade, to face her own demons and see what answers, if any, she can find. A deeply moving, gripping debut, this is a novel about the secrets we carry, and the bonds between twins.

Download or read book Breakfast at Stephanie s written by Sue Margolis and published by Delta. This book was released on 2004-06-01 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Playing “Winter Wonderland” for last-minute Christmas shoppers has got to be the all-time low point of Stephanie Glassman’s career. The aspiring jazz soloist and single mother has no singing prospects, no man in her life since her hot fling with a movie stuntman, and a social life that consists of having her two best friends over for high-calorie Sunday brunches. Even her grandmother’s having more sex than she is. That is, until toddler Jake’s irresistible father hurtles back into her life. Albert promises fidelity, plus married life filled with the best sex Stephanie’s ever had. But there’s a tantalizing new wrinkle: Frank Waterman, rising star and Stephanie’s old crush, is suddenly semi-available and interested. And her stalled career seems to be heating up. But when her big break erupts in a scandal that puts her on the front page instead, Stephanie’s in a whole new league. Now, with fame at her door and two hot guys fighting over her, Stephanie’s got some big decisions to make…and they may surprise everyone—including her.

Download or read book The Mummy written by Loudon and published by Legare Street Press. This book was released on 2023-07-18 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this early work of science fiction, the author explores the idea of reanimation and its consequences. The Mummy: A Tale of the Twenty-Second Century is a gripping and thought-provoking adventure. This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work is in the "public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

Download or read book It written by Stephen King and published by Scribner. This book was released on 2019-07-30 with total page 1184 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It: Chapter Two—now a major motion picture! Stephen King’s terrifying, classic #1 New York Times bestseller, “a landmark in American literature” (Chicago Sun-Times)—about seven adults who return to their hometown to confront a nightmare they had first stumbled on as teenagers…an evil without a name: It. Welcome to Derry, Maine. It’s a small city, a place as hauntingly familiar as your own hometown. Only in Derry the haunting is real. They were seven teenagers when they first stumbled upon the horror. Now they are grown-up men and women who have gone out into the big world to gain success and happiness. But the promise they made twenty-eight years ago calls them reunite in the same place where, as teenagers, they battled an evil creature that preyed on the city’s children. Now, children are being murdered again and their repressed memories of that terrifying summer return as they prepare to once again battle the monster lurking in Derry’s sewers. Readers of Stephen King know that Derry, Maine, is a place with a deep, dark hold on the author. It reappears in many of his books, including Bag of Bones, Hearts in Atlantis, and 11/22/63. But it all starts with It. “Stephen King’s most mature work” (St. Petersburg Times), “It will overwhelm you…to be read in a well-lit room only” (Los Angeles Times).

Download or read book I Knead My Mommy written by Francesco Marciuliano and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2014-08-05 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just when we all thought things couldn't get any cuter, from the author of the New York Times bestselling I Could Pee on This comes I Knead My Mommy, a book of confessional poems about the triumphs, trials, and daily discoveries of being a kitten. From climbing walls to claiming hearts, these little cats bare all in such instant classics as "And Then You Said 'No,'" "Ode to a Lizard I Didn't Know Is Also a Pet in This House," and "I Will Save You." With adorable photos of the poetic prodigies throughout, this volume gives readers a glimpse into their confused and curious feline minds as they encounter the world around them.

Download or read book Slummy Mummy written by Fiona Neill and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2007-07-05 with total page 552 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A smart, laugh-out-loud debut novel about a deeply flawed but endearing stay-at-home mom, a book for anyone who took Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones to heart a decade ago-and now has kids. Lucy Sweeney has three sons, a husband on a short fuse, and a tendency toward domestic disaster. It has been years since the dirty laundry pile was less than three feet high, months since she remembered to have sex, and weeks since her toddler started using the trash can as a toilet. Lucy is living in a constant state of emergency, caught between perfectionist Yummy Mummy No. 1 and competitive Alpha Mum, making it hard for her to remember exactly why she exchanged her career and sanity for less than blissful domesticity. When she begins a flirtation with Sexy Domesticated Dad, a father from the school car-pool lane, the string of white lies to cover up the trail of chaos and illicit desire starts to unravel and disaster looms. Slummy Mummy is a hilarious novel about the dilemmas of modern marriage and motherhood for those who never discovered their inner domestic goddess. Pitch-perfect and satisfyingly smart, it does for the stay-at-home mother what Allison Pearson's blockbuster bestseller I Don't Know How She Does It did for the working mom: It offers a lovable, flawed character who resonates, entertains, and undoubtedly has it worse than you do.

Download or read book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings written by Maya Angelou and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-07-21 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here is a book as joyous and painful, as mysterious and memorable, as childhood itself. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings captures the longing of lonely children, the brute insult of bigotry, and the wonder of words that can make the world right. Maya Angelou’s debut memoir is a modern American classic beloved worldwide. Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother, Bailey, endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local “powhitetrash.” At eight years old and back at her mother’s side in St. Louis, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age—and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Years later, in San Francisco, Maya learns that love for herself, the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors (“I met and fell in love with William Shakespeare”) will allow her to be free instead of imprisoned. Poetic and powerful, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings will touch hearts and change minds for as long as people read. “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings liberates the reader into life simply because Maya Angelou confronts her own life with such a moving wonder, such a luminous dignity.”—James Baldwin From the Paperback edition.

Download or read book The Love Hypothesis written by Laura Steven and published by Electric Monkey. This book was released on 2020-03-05 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An LGBT romantic comedy with a twist from the Comedy Women in Print prize winner Laura Steven, author of The Exact Opposite of Okay. A hilarious love story with bite, for fans of Sex Education, Booksmart, Becky Albertalli's Love, Simon and Jenny Han's To All The Boys I've Loved Before. Physics genius Caro Kerber-Murphy knows she's smart. With straight As and a college scholarship already in the bag, she's meeting her two dads' colossal expectations and then some. But there's one test she's never quite been able to ace: love. And when, in a particularly desperate moment, Caro discovers a (definitely questionable) scientific breakthrough that promises to make you irresistible to everyone around you, she wonders if this could be the key. What happens next will change everything Caro thought she knew about chemistry - in the lab and in love. Is hot guy Haruki with her of his own free will? Are her feelings for her best friend Keiko some sort of side-effect? Will her dog, Sirius, ever stop humping her leg? Laura is the author of fiercely funny feminist comedy The Exact Opposite of Okay and its sequel, A Girl Called Shameless. The Exact Opposite of Okay was a bestselling young adult debut in 2018 and won the inaugural Comedy Women in Print prize, founded by Helen Lederer, from a shortlist including Gail Honeyman's Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and Why Mummy Swears by Gill Sims. Praise for The Exact Opposite of Okay: 'A brilliant social satire ... disarmingly charming and relatable ... it was hilarious. Laura Steven is an explosive talent on the page!' CWIP judges Marian Keyes, Kathy Lette, Katy Brand, Allison Pearson, Shazia Mirza and Jennifer Young 'Laura Steven simultaneously destroyed the patriarchy and made me laugh so hard I choked. I will protect Izzy O'Neill with my life.' Becky Albertalli, author of Love, Simon

Download or read book All of Me written by Anne Murray and published by Knopf Canada. This book was released on 2009-10-27 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this revealing autobiography, Canada’s first lady of song, for the first time, tells the whole story of her astonishing 40-year career in show biz. It is a candid retrospective of the extraordinary success achieved, and the prices that had to be paid. “After ‘Snowbird’ hit, I was swept up like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, and catapulted into a strange new universe … If I thought for a moment that I was really in control of events, I was deluded.” Anne Murray An unflinching self-portrait of Canada’s first great female recording artist, All of Me documents the life of Anne Murray, from her humble origins in the tragedy-plagued coal-mining town of Springhill, Nova Scotia, to her arrival on the world stage. Anne recounts her story: the battles with her record companies over singles and albums; the struggle with drug- and alcohol-ridden band members; the terrible guilt and loneliness of being away from her two young children; her divorce from the man who helped launch her career, Bill Langstroth; and the deaths of two of her closest confidantes. The result is a must-read autobiography by Canada’s beloved songbird.

Download or read book 101 Ways to Bug Your Teacher written by Lee Wardlaw and published by Putnam Juvenile. This book was released on 2004 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Steve "Sneeze" Wyatt attempts to thwart his parents' plan to have him skip eighth grade, but he has bigger problems when his friends disapprove of his new list and Mrs. "Fierce" Pierce threatens to keep him from the Invention Convention.