Download or read book Undertaker Tales What They Don t Teach You at Mortuary School written by Norgus Press and published by Norgus Press. This book was released on 2011-10-01 with total page 184 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Undertaker. After you have breathed your final breath the Undertaker prepares your body for the afterlife. They carry the burden of making you at ease in your new home for all eternity. The stories these brave men and women could tell! We have gathered but a few for you today in these pages. UNDERTAKER TALES IS A FICTIONAL ANTHOLOGY OF HORROR STORIES.
Download or read book Mortuary Confidential written by Kenneth McKenzie and published by Kensington Books. This book was released on 2010 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From rookie mistakes and runaway corpses to screaming dead men and unusual requests, a collection of stories by funeral directors.
Download or read book Down Among the Dead Men written by Michelle Williams and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2010-06-24 with total page 281 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Michelle Williams is young and attractive, she has close family ties as well as a busy social life - but she is far from usual. She is a mortuary technician and her job involves dealing with those things in life that many people do not wish to experience directly. Yet life in the mortuary is neither gruesome nor sad. Told with good humour and common sense, we are introduced to a host of characters - the pathologists, many of them eccentric, some downright mad; the undertakers, the hospital porters and the man from the coroner's office who sings to Michelle every morning. The incidents too ensure that no two days are ever the same. From the tragic to the hilarious they include: The fitness fanatic who was run over as he did pressups in the road on a dark night The decapitated motorcyclist The guide dog who led his owner on to the railway tracks - and left him there The forty stone man for whom an entire refrigerated lorry had to be hired because he wouldn't fit in the mortuary cooler Over the course of her first year Michelle has to deal with situations and emotions that few of us will ever experience, and does so while retaining a sense of humour and a sense of perspective.
Download or read book Over Our Dead Bodies written by Kenneth McKenzie and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2014-06-01 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover a more lighthearted side of the funeral industry in this collection of real-life stories from the authors of Mortuary Confidential. Not knowing what to do, I sat on the church steps and waited. As the gravity of my failure began to well up in me, I began to cry . . . I Had Lost The Hearse! Funerals and the all the things that accompany them are traditionally somber, contemplative events in which the bereaved look to their undertaker to guide them through that most difficult of times. Of course, sometimes tradition gets thrown under the bus. From a dysfunctional family who turn their mother’s wake into a full-blown riot, to funeral crashers looking for free meals, to a horse-drawn hearse taking the dearly departed for the ride of their afterlife, these accounts from actual undertakers will have you laughing, thinking, and gasping in disbelief. A literal graveyard of wild coincidences, slapstick humor, and touching moments, Over Our Dead Bodies explores the lighter side of the dead, the living, and the lone undertaker who must make it all go as planned—even if it doesn’t. Praise for Mortuary Confidential “Outrageous funeral stories, dipped in beauty and morbid humor.” —Caleb Wilde, author of Confessions of a Funeral Director “Curious, wildly honest stories that need to be told, but just not at the dinner table.” —Dana Kollmann, author of Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand “As unpredictable and lively as a bunch of drunks at a New Orleans funeral.” —Joe R. Lansdale, author of Moon Lake “Sick, funny, and brilliant! I love this book.” —Jonathan Maberry, Bram Stoker Award–winning author of They Bite! And Rot & Ruin “These true mortuary tales are poignant—and suddenly, gaspi
Download or read book Does This Mean You ll See Me Naked written by Robert Webster and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2011-05-01 with total page 249 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why would someone want to hang out with dead bodies? With curious anecdotes and unbelievable truth, funeral director Robert Webster reveals that answer and more, offering readers entertaining and quirky stories gleaned from a life lived around death. Webster tackles those embarrassing questions we all have about what really goes on bhind the scenes when you've left this world: Strange things people put in caskets The biggest rip-offs in the business The crazy things that happen to a body after death Lime, waz, and other ways to hide the truth The most important thing an undertaker does How to avoid the high-pressure funeral parlor What that's not a coffin the body is resting in
Download or read book Over Our Dead Bodies written by Kenneth McKenzie and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2021-07-27 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Presents a new collection of accounts from actual undertakers--including tales of slapstick humor, wild coincidences, and touching moments--that highlight the lighter side of death.
Download or read book Confessions of a Funeral Director written by Caleb Wilde and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-09-26 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The blogger behind Confessions of a Funeral Director—what Time magazine called a "must read"—reflects on mortality and the powerful lessons death holds for every one of us in this compassionate and thoughtful spiritual memoir that combines the humor and insight of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes with the poignancy and brevity of When Breath Becomes Air. We are a people who deeply fear death. While humans are biologically wired to evade death for as long as possible, we have become too adept at hiding from it, vilifying it, and—when it can be avoided no longer—letting the professionals take over. Sixth-generation funeral director Caleb Wilde understands this reticence and fear. He had planned to get as far away from the family business as possible. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and how could he do that if all the people he worked with were . . . dead? Slowly, he discovered that caring for the deceased and their loved ones was making a difference—in other people’s lives to be sure, but it also seemed to be saving his own. A spirituality of death began to emerge as he observed: The family who lovingly dressed their deceased father for his burial The act of embalming a little girl that offered a gift back to her grieving family The nursing home that honored a woman’s life by standing in procession as her body was taken away The funeral that united a conflicted community Through stories like these, told with equal parts humor and poignancy, Wilde offers an intimate look into the business and a new perspective on living and dying
Download or read book The Victorian Book of the Dead written by Chris Woodyard and published by Kestrel Publications (OH). This book was released on 2014 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Macabre tales of death and mourning in Victorian America.
Download or read book Mortuary Confidential written by Todd Harra and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2021-12-28 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From rookie mistakes and runaway corpses to screaming dead men and unusual requests, a collection of stories by funeral directors.
Download or read book Smoke Gets in Your Eyes And Other Lessons from the Crematory written by Caitlin Doughty and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2014-09-15 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Morbid and illuminating" (Entertainment Weekly)—a young mortician goes behind the scenes of her curious profession. Armed with a degree in medieval history and a flair for the macabre, Caitlin Doughty took a job at a crematory and turned morbid curiosity into her life’s work. She cared for bodies of every color, shape, and affliction, and became an intrepid explorer in the world of the dead. In this best-selling memoir, brimming with gallows humor and vivid characters, she marvels at the gruesome history of undertaking and relates her unique coming-of-age story with bold curiosity and mordant wit. By turns hilarious, dark, and uplifting, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes reveals how the fear of dying warps our society and "will make you reconsider how our culture treats the dead" (San Francisco Chronicle).
Download or read book Mortician Diaries written by June Knights Nadle and published by New World Library. This book was released on 2010-10-04 with total page 154 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After 50 years in the funeral business, 80-year-old grandmother-undertaker June Knights Nadle has seen it all — at least all of what goes on before, during, and after life’s ultimate challenge. In Mortician Diaries, she combines equal doses of charm, humanity, humor, and reality to tell it like it is on this taboo subject. A kind of Prairie Home Companion set in a mortuary, the book features memorable stories of regret — “I wish I had kissed him on the morning he had the accident” — and renewal, as the lesson of facing life’s last great event is learned, or not. Some of the accounts here are funny, some sad. Some are haunting in their strangeness as they reveal the many ways in which people cope. Along the way, the reader is drawn into Nadle’s own life story as an unconventional woman who devoted herself to the dead and to those they left behind.
Download or read book The Life of Death written by Ralph R. Rossell and published by Dog Ear Publishing. This book was released on 2017-11-30 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Growing up, living in, and working in a small-town funeral home may not be for everyone, but it certainly means life is never dull. Ralph was born the month his father and mother moved to Flushing, Michigan, to work in his uncle’s funeral home. Dinners and sleep interrupted by calls from families were a common occurrence, but so were the heart-warming moments helping grieving families. The Life of Death is a collection of stories about Ralph’s memories of the funeral home, both growing up and then working there as a licensed funeral director for more than 45 years. His tales range from the ironic, such as a widow learns of a secret windfall only after selling the item at a garage sale, to the inspired, when a hard-hearted minister gets an earful about preaching to those who need it and reaches out to the family. Ralph includes humorous stories: a power outage that causes a minister to be late to the funeral of a man who was never on time, a family concerned about the smell of smoke that later requests an area to smoke cigarettes, and a funeral service that is over almost before it begins. And the book would not be complete without a few paranormal experiences. Step through the doors of the funeral home via Ralph’s memory for an unforgettable glimpse into small-town life, the business of funerals, and the very human responses to the mysteries of death.
Download or read book Stiff The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers written by Mary Roach and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2004-05-17 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Beloved, best-selling science writer Mary Roach’s “acutely entertaining, morbidly fascinating” (Susan Adams, Forbes) classic, now with a new epilogue. For two thousand years, cadavers – some willingly, some unwittingly – have been involved in science’s boldest strides and weirdest undertakings. They’ve tested France’s first guillotines, ridden the NASA Space Shuttle, been crucified in a Parisian laboratory to test the authenticity of the Shroud of Turin, and helped solve the mystery of TWA Flight 800. For every new surgical procedure, from heart transplants to gender confirmation surgery, cadavers have helped make history in their quiet way. “Delightful—though never disrespectful” (Les Simpson, Time Out New York), Stiff investigates the strange lives of our bodies postmortem and answers the question: What should we do after we die? “This quirky, funny read offers perspective and insight about life, death and the medical profession. . . . You can close this book with an appreciation of the miracle that the human body really is.” —Tara Parker-Pope, Wall Street Journal “Gross, educational, and unexpectedly sidesplitting.” —Entertainment Weekly
Download or read book Undertakings of an Undertaker written by Stanley Swan and published by . This book was released on 2015-01-23 with total page 138 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Could these remains, yet to be identified, be one of the victims of Rochester's Genesee River killer? Did the mourner in the chapel with the casket and the deceased actually think there was an apparition present? Is it legal to bury a man with no pants? Would a man really drive his deceased wife to a mortuary instead of calling the authorities? Those ashes seeping from the fractured urn...imagined or real? The black cat visiting the deceased man's wake...a family friend or fiend? These are just some of the intriguing, unusual and funny stories to be found in Undertakings of an Undertaker: True Stories of Being Laid to Rest. Author Stanley Swan spent 37 years in funeral service, making notes from day one, and he has now penned them to paper and put them into print for others to see. Here you will read about the challenges facing those in funeral service - the highs, the lows, the personal sacrifices and the rewards. You will also experience all of the emotions encountered during the day-to-day business of taking care of a community's funeral and burial needs. Every story is true, as it really happened, with no embellishment, nothing left out...100-percent fact. Step into the world of funeral service, of which little has been written about over the last few decades. Funny, gut wrenching, chilling, unbelievable in many instances. Come take part in the Undertakings of an Undertaker: True Stories of Being Laid to Rest. A book you'll want to share for sure!
Download or read book So Far So What written by Julian M. Watson and published by Austin Macauley Publishers. This book was released on 2024-06-21 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the engrossing memoir So Far So What!, Julian M. Watson takes readers on an unforgettable journey into the world of funeral directing, offering a candid and often humorous look at his experiences from 1976 to 1988. From his hesitant beginnings as a 26-year-old thrust into the family business to the poignant moments shared with grieving families, Watson’s narrative is both heartfelt and entertaining. As the great-great-grandson of the founder, he finds himself navigating the streets of ‘Ackney’ in a Rolls-Royce hearse, encountering challenges that range from comical to deeply moving. Through Watson’s eyes, we witness the delicate balance between reverence for the departed and the practicalities of the trade. Whether he’s learning to drive a hearse with minimal instruction or facing the grim reality of a long-deceased body awaiting removal, each chapter is filled with moments that will linger in the reader’s mind long after the book is closed. With a keen eye for detail and a sharp wit, Watson paints a vivid portrait of life beside the grave, introducing us to a colourful cast of characters who populate his world. From his diminutive yet wise Uncle Bob to the eccentric colleagues who share his profession, each person adds depth and dimension to the narrative, offering insights into the complexities of human nature and the bonds that unite us in both life and death. So Far So What! is more than just a memoir—it’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of laughter to illuminate even the darkest of times. Whether you’re a seasoned funeral director or simply curious about the inner workings of the industry, this book is sure to captivate and inspire. Join Julian M. Watson on a journey you won’t soon forget, and discover the extraordinary stories that lie within the world of undertakers.
Download or read book Mistress of the Art of Death written by Ariana Franklin and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2007-02-06 with total page 404 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The national bestselling hit hailed by the New York Times as a "vibrant medieval mystery...[it] outdoes the competition." In medieval Cambridge, England, Adelia, a female forensics expert, is summoned by King Henry II to investigate a series of gruesome murders that has wrongly implicated the Jewish population, yielding even more tragic results. As Adelia's investigation takes her behind the closed doors of the country's churches, the killer prepares to strike again.
Download or read book Nine Years Under written by Sheri Booker and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-07-01 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A dazzling and darkly comic memoir about coming of age in a black funeral home in Baltimore Sheri Booker was only fifteen when she started working at Wylie Funeral Home in West Baltimore. She had no idea her summer job would become nine years of immersion into a hidden world. Reeling from the death of her beloved great aunt, Sheri found comfort in the funeral home and soon had the run of the place. With AIDS and gang violence threatening to wipe out a generation of black men, Wylie was never short on business. As families came together to bury one of their own, Booker was privy to their most intimate moments of grief and despair. But along with the sadness, Booker encountered moments of dark humor: brawls between mistresses and widows, and car crashes at McDonald’s with dead bodies in tow. While she never got over her terror of the embalming room, Booker learned to expect the unexpected and to never, ever cry. Nine Years Under offers readers an unbelievable glimpse into an industry in the backdrop of all our lives.
