Download or read book To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five written by J. S. Cooper and published by J.S. Cooper. This book was released on 2021-01-01 with total page 205 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five, I’m glad you’re happy to have moved into a new apartment, but no: I do not want to have a beer with you. I do not want to have a nude sleepover. I do not want to make you breakfast, lunch or dinner, no matter how many lap dances you promise to give me. I do not need you to serenade me through the walls at 1am. And no, I have no interest in letting you take me on a date. Sincerely, Magnolia Allen P.S. And no, I do not want to know how many accents you can growl in during intimate moments. How is that even a thing? P. P. S. Also, you will never find me standing naked in your living room ever again, so please stop leaving lingerie packages on my welcome mat.

Download or read book Five Flights Up written by Toni Schlesinger and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-04-17 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A flop house, a pumping station, a maid's room, a homeless center, a former brothel, a Richard Meier building, a circus trailer, a sail boat, a skyscraper, buildings named Esther and Loraine—just a few of the places New Yorkers call home. For the past eight years writer Toni Schlesinger has been bringing us these "conversation places" in her weekly column in the Village Voice. Through her incisive questioning, original writing, and comic parallel reveries, Schlesinger creates miniature documentaries on the lives, passions, hopes, and heartbreaks of many of New York City's millions

Download or read book To My Arrogant Boss written by J. S. Cooper and published by J.S. Cooper. This book was released on 2021-01-01 with total page 220 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To Mr. Tate Howard, You are quite possibly the most infuriating, annoying and grumpy man I’ve ever met in my life. I know you think that you’re God’s gift to women, but I have a secret to let you in on: you’re not. You’re God’s gift to yourself. Get over your wanna-be cool surfer self and grow up. I thought it was time that someone addressed your big head and told you straight to your face that you're not all that. Just because you have an Ivy league education doesn’t mean you’re the smartest man in the world. In fact, I’m not even sure if you would have gotten in if you didn’t have rich parents. Yes, I went there. Every woman doesn’t want to sleep with you and I’m sure you’re not even good in bed. And I’m someone that would know. From, Your Secret Not Admirer

Download or read book To Whom It May Concern written by J. S. Cooper and published by J.S. Cooper. This book was released on 2020-09-08 with total page 233 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To Whom it May Concern, I would like to request more information about the assistant job I saw advertised in Sunday’s newspaper with the six figure starting salary. I have a bachelors degree in English and many years of work experience and think I would be a good fit for the job. My questions are as follows: 1. What is the exact nature of the job? 2. Is it a strict requirement that I live with the boss? If so, can I have friends and others over? 3. The ad states there is a uniform. May I ask what sort of uniform? And why? Also, in lieu of sending a photograph, I’ve sent a picture of my very friendly dog that would also be joining me if I were to get the job. Yours Sincerely, Savannah Carter *** Ms. Carter, How do you know you’ll be a good fit for the job if you do not know the nature of the work? My ad specifically stated I was looking for an MBA grad, not an English grad that knows nothing about the real world. 1. This would be discussed in the interview. 2. Yes, you would be living with me. And no guests are allowed. 3. The uniform would be provided on your first day. You don’t need to know why. The job advertisement asked for a personal photo, is this your way of telling me you look like a dog? Today must be your lucky day because you’re the only person that responded to my ad. Are you available for a phone interview tomorrow? The Wade Hart This is book one of a duet. The second and final book is Return To Sender.

Download or read book To My Brother s Cocky Best Friend written by J. S. Cooper and published by J.S. Cooper. This book was released on 2021-01-01 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To My Brother’s Cocky Best Friend, Tyler Redwood, you might be my brother’s best friend, but I find you to be insufferable, cocky, arrogant, immature, and totally annoying. You are not God’s gift to women and certainly not a gift to me. No, I don’t need you to wrap yourself in a bow. And even if you did, I would not be unwrapping it. I have no interest in seeing or touching your six pack and no, I don’t need you to teach me the hidden lessons of the Kama Sutra. Go and find another woman to bother and flirt with. I am not interested at all. Not even a little bit. Olivia Olivia, I have seven words for you. That’s not what you said last night. Tyler

Download or read book To My First And Last One Night Stand written by J. S. Cooper and published by J.S. Cooper. This book was released on 2021-01-01 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To Marco (No, I’m not going to add Polo), Last night was a mistake. A big mistake. Or should I say small? I don’t want to hurt your ego. I should have listened to your sister. You’re insufferable and rude and far too cocky. Don’t worry. I won’t be telling anyone what happened because as far as I’m concerned it never did. Please stop calling me. I do not need to come and collect my bra from you. Or the t-shirt you lent me to sleep in when I got cold. And no, that one act doesn’t make you a gentleman. Far from it. Also, I do not need to have your smell near me to fall asleep. In fact, your shirt does the opposite. It gives me nightmares. Millie P.S. No, I do not want a repeat of last night at my office. I don’t care if that’s your fantasy or not. Stop texting me your fantasies, by the way. P.P.S. The texts I sent you this morning were drunk texts. I was still hungover. Do not construe them as anything else. P.P.P.S. Could you have given me any more love bites? There was no need to “mark your territory” because I am not yours!

Download or read book Worst Date Ever written by J. S. Cooper and published by J.S. Cooper. This book was released on with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Go on a date,” she said. “You’ll love it,” she said. She was wrong! It had been one year, two months and seventeen days since my last date. So my best friend Abby decided to sign me up for a dating app. She guaranteed that she could get me the best date of my life within one week. I didn’t really want to do it, but I figured what did I have to lose? Turns out that I had: 1. $500 2. My dignity 3. My patience and 4. My innocence to lose OK, so I didn’t really have my innocence to lose, but believe you me, Jack Morrison was my worst date ever. And I’ve been on a lot of bad dates. Trust me when I say that that was the longest ten hours and 33 minutes of my life. I never wanted to see or speak to him again. But it turns out you don’t always get what you want in life, because Jack showed up the very next day at a family gathering I was attending as a fake plus one. As you can imagine that was a real pickle, Jack wanted to know why I went on a date with him when I’m dating someone else. But he can’t know the whole complicated truth of the matter. I’m in a fake relationship and now I’m being blackmailed by the worst date ever. That’s not even the worst part. I decided to log onto this new app called “confession board” to seek some advice, but it turns out Jack Morrison is absolutely everywhere and he’s not going to leave me alone until I submit to his demands.

Download or read book Maybe Someday written by Colleen Hoover and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-03-18 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When she discovers that her boyfriend is cheating on her, Sydney, a 22-year-old college student, must decide what to do next, especially when she becomes captivated by her mysterious neighbor Ridge.

Download or read book In Fifty Years We ll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-05-17 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Download or read book Tender at the Bone written by Ruth Reichl and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-05-25 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “An absolute delight to read . . . How lucky we are that [Ruth Reichl] had the courage to follow her appetite.”—Newsday At an early age, Ruth Reichl discovered that “food could be a way of making sense of the world. If you watched people as they ate, you could find out who they were.” Her deliciously crafted memoir Tender at the Bone is the story of a life defined, determined, and enhanced in equal measure by a passion for food, by unforgettable people, and by the love of tales well told. Beginning with her mother, the notorious food-poisoner known as the Queen of Mold, Reichl introduces us to the fascinating characters who shaped her world and tastes, from the gourmand Monsieur du Croix, who served Reichl her first foie gras, to those at her politically correct table in Berkeley who championed the organic food revolution in the 1970s. Spiced with Reichl’s infectious humor and sprinkled with her favorite recipes, Tender at the Bone is a witty and compelling chronicle of a culinary sensualist’s coming-of-age. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Ruth Reichl's Delicious! Praise for Tender at the Bone “A poignant, yet hilarious, collection of stories about people [Reichl] has known and loved, and who, knowingly or unknowingly, steered her on the path to fulfill her destiny as one of the world’s leading food writers.”—Chicago Sun-Times “While all good food writers are humorous . . . few are so riotously, effortlessly entertaining as Ruth Reichl.”—The New York Times Book Review “Reading Ruth Reichl on food is almost as good as eating it. . . . Reichl makes the reader feel present with her, sharing the experience.”—Washington Post Book World “[In] this lovely memoir . . . we find young Ruth desperately trying to steer her manic mother's unwary guests toward something edible. It's a job she does now . . . in her columns, and whose intimate imperatives she illuminates in this graceful book.”—The New Yorker “A savory memoir of [Reichl’s] apprentice years . . . Reichl describes [her] experiences with infectious humor. . . . The descriptions of each sublime taste are mouthwateringly precise. . . . A perfectly balanced stew of memories.”—Kirkus Reviews

Download or read book Before We Were Strangers written by Renée Carlino and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-08-18 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M

Download or read book Verity written by Colleen Hoover and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2021-10-05 with total page 295 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whose truth is the lie? Stay up all night reading the sensational psychological thriller that has readers obsessed, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Too Late and It Ends With Us. #1 New York Times Bestseller · USA Today Bestseller · Globe and Mail Bestseller · Publishers Weekly Bestseller Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of the night her family was forever altered. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents could devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue loving her.

Download or read book A Journey of Discovery All Around Our House written by Robert Kemp Philp and published by . This book was released on 1867 with total page 392 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book One Percent of You written by Michelle Gross and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-05-02 with total page 342 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Make no mistakes about it. I know what I look like to others. Young, government-aided, pregnant mom. They see Lucy on my hip, and they see a mistake. I mean, why else would someone have a child so young, right? They couldn't be more wrong. I'm too busy most days between parenting, work, and finishing up my last year of nursing school to let their judging gaze tear me down until he moves into the vacant house next to the apartments I live in.His cold, blunt observation of us doesn't differ from any other stranger. He doesn't know me, but he's already painting a picture of who he thinks I am in his mind. He judges my very round belly, Lucy's inability to leave him alone, the bags under my eyes, and the fact that I couldn't care less what I look like anymore.He's a rude guy. Stays that way for months too. Then something happens, I'm not even sure what. Judgmental Guy decides Lucy and me-as well as baby Eli, are worth his friendship.Turns out, Judgmental Guy isn't too mean-okay, he kind of still is. But he graduates to Elijah. I build an unlikely friendship with him which deems it necessary for him to start smiling around me and my kids. I'm wrong again. Elijah isn't rude. He's terrifying. His strange acts of kindness are unraveling me. Elijah is only my friend.Right? Oh, fudge. I think I'm wrong. Again.

Download or read book That Guy written by Kim Jones and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2018-07-11 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Ninth Hour written by Alice McDermott and published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. This book was released on 2017-09-19 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A magnificent new novel from one of America’s finest writers—a powerfully affecting story spanning the twentieth century of a widow and her daughter and the nuns who serve their Irish-American community in Brooklyn. On a dim winter afternoon, a young Irish immigrant opens a gas tap in his Brooklyn tenement. He is determined to prove—to the subway bosses who have recently fired him, to his pregnant wife—that “the hours of his life . . . belonged to himself alone.” In the aftermath of the fire that follows, Sister St. Saviour, an aging nun, a Little Nursing Sister of the Sick Poor, appears, unbidden, to direct the way forward for his widow and his unborn child. In Catholic Brooklyn in the early part of the twentieth century, decorum, superstition, and shame collude to erase the man’s brief existence, and yet his suicide, though never spoken of, reverberates through many lives—testing the limits and the demands of love and sacrifice, of forgiveness and forgetfulness, even through multiple generations. Rendered with remarkable delicacy, heart, and intelligence, Alice McDermott’s The Ninth Hour is a crowning achievement of one of the finest American writers at work today.

Download or read book The New Me written by Halle Butler and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "[A] definitive work of millennial literature . . . wretchedly riveting." —Jia Tolentino, The New Yorker “Girls + Office Space + My Year of Rest and Relaxation + anxious sweating = The New Me.” —Entertainment Weekly I'm still trying to make the dream possible: still might finish my cleaning project, still might sign up for that yoga class, still might, still might. I step into the shower and almost faint, an image of taking the day by the throat and bashing its head against the wall floating in my mind. Thirty-year-old Millie just can't pull it together. She spends her days working a thankless temp job and her nights alone in her apartment, fixating on all the ways she might change her situation--her job, her attitude, her appearance, her life. Then she watches TV until she falls asleep, and the cycle begins again. When the possibility of a full-time job offer arises, it seems to bring the better life she's envisioning within reach. But with it also comes the paralyzing realization, lurking just beneath the surface, of how hollow that vision has become. "Wretchedly riveting" (The New Yorker) and "masterfully cringe-inducing" (Chicago Tribune), The New Me is the must-read new novel by National Book Foundation "5 Under 35" honoree and Granta Best Young American novelist Halle Butler. Named a Best Book of the Decade by Vox, and a Best Book of 2019 by Vanity Fair, Vulture, Chicago Tribune, Mashable, Bustle, and NPR