Download or read book An Old Farts Survival Guide written by Ron Foster and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-11-21 with total page 552 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!
Download or read book The Old Fart s Guide to Survival written by Dawn Cawley and published by Splendid Publications Limited. This book was released on 2016-10-03 with total page 55 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You might be getting on a bit but that doesn't mean life can't still be fun! Dawn Cawley, a paid-up member of The Old Fart's Club certainly isn't ready to be put out to pasture just yet and shares her tips and observations on life in the slow lane. From dealing with modern technology and grandkids to old friendships and going deaf, this quirky and humorous take on later life is a must-have survival guide for all the Old Farts who aim to grow old(er) disgracefully!
Download or read book Old Farts A Spotter s Guide written by Amos Tinker and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2016-10-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This newest title in the wildly popular Spotter's Guide series leads readers through the distinct field marks of flatulence in the latter years of life, from "The Crank" (the fart that chases pesky kids—and everyone else—off the lawn) through "The ReAnimator" (the sudden eruption of post-holiday meal flatulence that brings Great Aunt Gladys back from the brink). Each spread is devoted to a singular fart profile and includes helpful information such as age of onset, key characteristics for identification, and prominent subtypes. Detailed "in situ" illustrations and ten distinct push-button sounds complete this indispensable reference to farting happily and healthfully into the autumn years of life.
Download or read book The Big Bad Book of Farts written by Tammy L Brown and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2023-10-03 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a world where laughter reigns supreme, "The Big, Bad, Book of Farts - A Survival Guide" invites readers on a hilarious journey into the wild and wonderful world of flatulence. Brace yourself for a sidesplitting adventure that will leave you gasping for air! Inside these pages, you'll embark on an odorous odyssey, exploring the science, history, and art of the humble fart. From the dawn of time to the modern era, you'll discover how human beings have both celebrated and shunned this natural bodily function. Delve into the secrets of the silent-but-deadlies, the thunderous trouser trumpets, and the delicate nuances of each distinctive toot. But this book is not just about giggles and guffaws; it's a gas-powered journey into the fascinating world of flatulence. Learn about the biology behind those belly-shaking blasts, uncover the surprising health benefits of breaking wind, and explore the cultural taboos that surround this universal human experience. With a mix of uproarious humor and enlightening insights, "The Big, Bad, Book of Farts" is your ultimate guide to all things gaseous. Whether you're a seasoned farter or a newcomer to the world of wind-breaking, this book will have you laughing, learning, and embracing the power of the poot like never before. Prepare to be entertained, educated, and occasionally embarrassed as you dive headfirst into this uproarious, informative, and unapologetically cheeky celebration of the incredible, sometimes noisy, always natural phenomenon known as the fart. Grab your gas mask and get ready to laugh your butt off!
Download or read book Old Farts written by Eric Decetis and published by Sellers Publishing. This book was released on 2014-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Let us laugh in the face of decrepitude. Let us scream as gravity drags (and sags) us down. And let s pretend that the drooping jowls, saggy butt, and hairy ears are somebody else's problem. And while we re at it, let s poke a little fun at those folks, too. Old Farts, There Ought to Be a Law is the latest collection from fabled cartoonist Eric Decetis. He takes no prisoners as he mines the fears and anxieties of the senior set and laughs at their fumbles and foibles. Old Farts is perfect for the older folks in your life, and for anyone else who knows and loves them.
Download or read book Farter s Survival Guide written by Benet Donald and published by . This book was released on 2015-10-15 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Most of us have experienced moments of wind-based humiliation we'd prefer to forget. This light-hearted survival guide for the digestively challenged will provide you with all you need to know about dealing with such mortifying occasions. In hilarious farting scenarios, from the standard wedding-day guff to the not-so-ordinary operating-theatre explosion, you will be offered three courses of action: the sane route, the more adventurous option and the kamikaze approach. Interspersed with these, you will also find chapters packed with fascinating and absolutely true farting facts, proverbs and 'words of windsdom' from around the world. The unapologetic guffer can also test their life skills in two different fartventures of equally humiliating proportions to see if they can emerge unscathed from potentially life-changing situations threatened by a desperate need for a colossal blow-off. At the end of this guide there is also a beautifuly illustrated game of Big Trumps to be played - pit yourself against your friends to collect society's farting superheroes. Highly entertaining, The Farter's Survival Guide is the perfect gift to publicly shame the culpably flatulent, and essential reading for all aficionados of this varied and most natural form of expression.
Download or read book How to Survive Divorce written by Anthea Turner and published by Splendid Publications Limited. This book was released on 2017-05-18 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: TV presenter Anthea Turner was devastated when her husband Grant Bovey left her for a woman young enough to be his daughter. Although both she and Grant had left their previous partners to be together, Anthea was convinced they had learned from their mistakes and were destined to grow old together. But when Grant cheated on her not once but twice, she knew she was wrong and heartbroken, she filed for divorce. How to Survive divorce is Anthea's candid account of the emotional toll the end of her marriage took on her well being and how she eventually came out of the ordeal, a stronger, more confident woman. This is a book which has been carefully researched and written and is full of helpful tips and real-life case studies. How to Survive Divorce aims to offer women who find themselves facing divorce - whether or not from choice - practical help and guidance in navigating what can be a legal and emotional minefield. From choosing the right lawyer to getting back in the dating game, this a must-have guide on how to survive divorce and come out the other side.
Download or read book Old Farts Club written by Jh Notebooks and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2019-06-10 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: OLD FARTS CLUB We all live with them....decrepid, surly, wrinkled...tin need of either plastic surgery or euthenasia?...but we love 'em. Lined pages - room for their inner cumudgeoning. Dead skin wipes off easily. Great funny gift for those approaching their 30s....or 40s or 50s or 60s...you get the picture.
Download or read book The Housewife Assassin s Relationship Survival Guide written by Josie Brown and published by Signal Press. This book was released on 2013-04-05 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: London. Paris. Guantánamo Bay. Donna Stone is looking for love--and terrorists--in all the wrong places. Worse yet, an old flame gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love. But she doesn't cry. She gets even.
Download or read book Release Your Inner Old Fart written by Mark Leigh and published by Michael O'Mara Books. This book was released on 2012-08-24 with total page 143 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hilariously cynical and gloom-laden, this book contains diatribes, rants, anecdotes and advice for Old Farts everywhere.
Download or read book Alone Again written by Dawn Cawley and published by Splendid Publications Limited. This book was released on 2018-05-07 with total page 74 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The death of a life partner is not only heartbreaking but can mean the loved one left behind has to forge a whole new future - often alone. In Alone Again, author Dawn Cawley reveals the grief and trauma she experienced when she lost her beloved husband Alan to cancer and became a reluctant member of a singles club she did not wish to join. With her dreams for the future shattered, Dawn realised she could hide away forever - an attractive prospect at the time - or learn to cope with her new normal and hopefully find happiness one day. This little book is a practical, simple and helpful tome for anyone who has lost their 'other half' and shows it is possible to move forward in time, after great loss.
Download or read book How to Fight a Bear and Win written by Bathroom Readers' Institute and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-10-01 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more
Download or read book The Definitive Fart Book written by Desmond and published by CCC Publishing. This book was released on 1961-12 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Pursued written by Wayne F. Smith and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2006-03-29 with total page 169 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The challenge for me in writing this book was to blend factual incidents with fictional characters and events in a way that would be entertaining as well as educational for the readers-- regardless of their background and experience. Although the active characters and events described in this novel are fictional, they are based upon real incidents and real people. The depiction of their ancestors is factual and taken from history, news articles and internet interviews. After the book was written-- in a surprisingly short time-- I found some errors in the information I had received. It took weeks of travel and many interviews in British Columbia, the Yukon Territory, Alberta and Alaska to sort out the truth. Interviews with geologists, archeologists, historians, pilots, and airplane mechanics were all necessary to authenticate some of the scenes in this book. The places depicted actually exist-- I have been there. In a few cases the names have been changed to protect the owners of various facilities. The Characters-- both human and animal-- and the actions depicted in this novel are based upon real life incidents. Humans are a very complex species and how they act in private may be entirely different from the image they present in public. It has been said that we all have demons inside that we must deal with. I have attempted to expose some of the demons inside the principal characters and to show how they coped-- or in some cases could not cope with them. To a certain extent this book is a survival guide. It pits man against man, emotion against emotion, man against animal, and man against nature in all its fury. Most of all, it is a book about being PURSUED. Man is PURSUED by man, man is PURSUED by animal, man is PURSUED by nature and the elements, and man is PURSUED by himself-- and the demons within him. A complex series of events brought the passengers together on this doomed flight into the Arctic winter night. You will get to know each intimently by the end of the book. How was the pilot able to find a place to land in the ice and snow? How did they survive that 40 degree below zero weather? What did they do when they found 60 million dollars in Mafia money hidden in the plane? How did they get back to civilizaiton? You will find out when you read this book.
Download or read book Getting Waisted written by Monica Parker and published by Health Communications, Inc.. This book was released on 2014-04 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Monica begins every chapter with a diet she committed to and reveals how much weight, money, and self-esteem she lost, then she tells how much weight she gained when she fell off the wagon. In this hilarious yet poignant memoir, Parker takes you on her wild rollercoaster ride, a timeline of modern-day diets: from Metrecal to the Master Cleanse, from the Baby Food diet to the RUssian Air Force diet, from the Cookie diet to the Clay diet--and everything in between. You'll experience her fears and frustrations as she wades into the dating pool of "Mr. Wrongs," until she unexpectedly finds "Mr. Right."--Publisher's description.
Download or read book Awkward What to Do When Life Makes You Cringe A Survival Guide written by Sam Scholfield and published by The Experiment, LLC. This book was released on 2011-08-09 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No One Is Safe from Awkward! Ending a first date that falls flat. Drunk-texting your boss. Walking in when your roommate is getting it on. Running into the person you just dumped . . . in the grocery store, an hour after it went down. Awkward bombs can drop anytime, anywhere, and with anyone—people you don’t know, people you see occasionally, and people you see every day. They can sneak up on you and explode in the most unexpected of places, so they’re basically impossible to avoid. The vast majority of us don’t have the wherewithal to gracefully handle the truly and totally awkward as it unfolds. We only realize what we should have said after the fact—when the damage has already been done and we’re a hot mess of embarrassment, red ears, and nervous sweat stains. But author Sam Scholfield has survived more than two decades of embarrassing encounters—and now, in an act of extreme generosity, has set down a wealth of witty comebacks, surefire distraction techniques, and suave evasion strategies so that future generations may take heed and dodge the Awkward Monster before it strikes! So how do you avoid the epic cluster of drama that can result when awkward situations are handled badly? You read this book.
Download or read book The Complete Mr Terupt Series written by Rob Buyea and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2020-12-01 with total page 1568 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Seven students are about to have their lives changed by one amazing teacher in this school-set series filled with unique characters every kid can relate to! This ebook collection features all four titles in this fan-favorite series. Because of Mr. Terupt (Book 1) It's the start of fifth grade and Peter, Jessica, Alexia, Jeffrey, Luke, Danielle, and Anna find themselves thrown together in Mr. Terupt's class. They don't have much in common, and they've never gotten along. Not until a certain new teacher arrives and helps them to find strength inside themselves--and in each other. Mr. Terupt Falls Again (Book 2) Sixth grade comes with its own set of challenges but Peter, Jessica, Alexia, Jeffrey, Luke, Danielle, and Anna know they have Mr. Terupt to help them through. That’s until Mr. Terupt springs news on them--really big news. Saving Mr. Terupt (Book 3) Peter, Jessica, Alexia, Jeffrey, Luke, Danielle, and Anna are entering their first year of junior high. There's a lot to be excited about, but starting at a new school isn't easy. When a fight threatens to break up the group forever, they think their favorite teacher is the only one who can help them. But they soon find out that it's Mr. Terupt who needs saving. Goodbye, Mr. Terupt (Book 4) Peter, Jessica, Alexia, Jeffrey, Luke, Danielle, and Anna are thrilled to have Mr. Terupt, back for the school year as their biweekly advisor. They still rely on him for guidance on so many things. But they know a goodbye is coming, so they hatch bucket-list type projects to make the school year important, memorable, and way bigger than just the group.
