Download or read book The Government Manual for New Wizards written by Matthew David Brozik and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2009-01-01 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures. Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority. This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as: * A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all. * When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.
Download or read book The Government Manual for New Superheroes written by Matthew David Brozik and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2009-01-01 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The government provides manuals for new home-owners and new motor vehicle operators, but what's a new superhero to do? Ka-POW! The Government Manual for New Superheroes rushes in to save the day! The Government Manual for New Superheroes is a hilarious, mock-official handbook that offers thorough, accessible, and completely zany advice for anyone who has always dreamed of donning a skintight spandex uniform and leaping across the rooftops of their cities. Going well beyond tights and capes, this manual provides insight into choosing a name, constructing a costume, choosing the right supertools of the supertrade, establishing a base of operations, maintaining a secret identity, taking or becoming a sidekick, joining a superheroic team, and even finding that special someone who gives meaning to a superhero's life--a nemesis. Extra features include a roster of superhero unions, a registration application, several useful charts and tips, and even a list of other government-sponsored periodicals for further reading. Destined to become a cult classic, The Government Manual for New Superheroes is an essential guide for every aspiring superhero.
Download or read book The Government Manual for New Pirates written by Matthew David Brozik and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2009-01-01 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." --Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates * Enjoy a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers. Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.
Download or read book The Ultimate Guide to the Harry Potter Fandom written by Erin Anne Pyne and published by What The Flux Comics Publis. This book was released on 2010 with total page 329 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Baby written by Jacob Sager Weinstein and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This tongue-in-cheek parenting book is a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual parents have ever cringed over.
Download or read book Computerworld written by and published by . This book was released on 1997-11-10 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For more than 40 years, Computerworld has been the leading source of technology news and information for IT influencers worldwide. Computerworld's award-winning Web site (Computerworld.com), twice-monthly publication, focused conference series and custom research form the hub of the world's largest global IT media network.
Download or read book The Publishers Weekly written by and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page 984 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book How Not to Kill Your Baby written by Jacob Sager Weinstein and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Download or read book The Little SAS Enterprise Guide Book written by Susan J. Slaughter and published by SAS Institute. This book was released on 2017-03-22 with total page 330 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learning to use SAS Enterprise Guide has never been easier! Whether you are using SAS Enterprise Guide for the first time, or are looking to expand your skills, this is the book for you! With The Little SAS Enterprise Guide Book, award-winning authors Susan Slaughter and Lora Delwiche help you quickly become productive in the SAS Enterprise Guide point-and-click environment. A series of carefully designed tutorials help you master the basics of the tasks you'll want to do most frequently. The reference section of the book expands on the tutorial topics, covering specific features in more depth. This edition has been completely rewritten, and updated with new features in SAS Enterprise Guide.
Download or read book The Ordinary Princess written by M. M. Kaye and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2002-03-18 with total page 93 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Along with Wit, Charm, Health, and Courage, Princess Amy of Phantasmorania receives a special fairy christening gift: Ordinariness. Unlike her six beautiful sisters, she has brown hair and freckles, and would rather have adventures than play the harp, embroider tapestries . . . or become a Queen. When her royal parents try to marry her off, Amy runs away and, because she's so ordinary, easily becomes the fourteenth assistant kitchen maid at a neighboring palace. And there . . . much to everyone's surprise . . . she meets a prince just as ordinary (and special) as she is! "This delightful fairy tale is sure to please young romantics . . . Neither Kaye's princess nor her book should be considered ordinary." (School Library Journal)
Download or read book Saints Demons Wizards and Systems written by Stephen B. Peterson and published by . This book was released on 1994 with total page 58 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book A Wizard s Guide to Defensive Baking written by T. Kingfisher and published by . This book was released on 2020-07-21 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance.But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries¿
Download or read book Buckland s Complete Book of Witchcraft written by Raymond Buckland and published by Llewellyn Worldwide. This book was released on 1986 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This complete self-study course in modern Wicca is a treasured classic - an essential and trusted guide that belongs in every witch's library."---Back cover
Download or read book The Book of Woe written by Gary Greenberg and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-05-02 with total page 359 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Gary Greenberg has become the Dante of our psychiatric age, and the DSM-5 is his Inferno.” —Errol Morris Since its debut in 1952, the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has set down the “official” view on what constitutes mental illness. Homosexuality, for instance, was a mental illness until 1973. Each revision has created controversy, but the DSM-5 has taken fire for encouraging doctors to diagnose more illnesses—and to prescribe sometimes unnecessary or harmful medications. Respected author and practicing psychotherapist Gary Greenberg embedded himself in the war that broke out over the fifth edition, and returned with an unsettling tale. Exposing the deeply flawed process behind the DSM-5’s compilation, The Book of Woe reveals how the manual turns suffering into a commodity—and made the APA its own biggest beneficiary.
Download or read book The United States Catalog written by Mary Burnham and published by . This book was released on 1928 with total page 1612 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Monster of the Week written by and published by . This book was released on 2015-01-27 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Most people don't believe in monsters, but you know the truth. They're real, and it's your task to bring them down. This revised edition of Monster of the Week brings that adventure to life.Monster of the Week is a standalone action-horror RPG for 3-5 people. Hunt high school beasties a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer, travel the country to bring down unnatural creatures like the Winchester brothers of Supernatural, or head up the government investigation like Mulder and Scully.This book contains everything you need to tackle Bigfoot, collar a chupacabra, and drive away demons. In this revised edition, you'll find:
Download or read book The Engineer Wizard written by Glenn Michaels and published by . This book was released on 2015-02-10 with total page 438 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Paul Armstead is your average American senior citizen and electrical engineer. He's 61 years old, unremarkably unattractive, and a self-proclaimed science-fiction nut. He's lived the American dream in drab, typical fashion without a single noteworthy event in his rather mundane life. So how does he end up fleeing from one end of the world to the other, dodging government dragnets, evil, nightmarish monsters known as the Oni, good wizards, bad wizards, beautiful women, spies, and wizardly spells? Well, it is entirely the genie's fault....
