Download or read book The Big Ass Book of Jokes written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-02-10 with total page 349 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
Download or read book Big Bad Ass Book of the Zodiac written by James Napoli and published by . This book was released on 2010 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Oozing with sarcasm and bursting with real-world advice, Big Bad Ass Book of the Zodiac provides the lowdown on your personality, career, friendships, and love life. Separate chapters for each astrological symbol (including those of the Chinese zodiac) make it easy to find the facts...even if you can't handle the truth! From why Aries often "fake it" to what leisure activities a Taurus enjoys (spoiler: saving money), this guide is a slap in the face that's good for you.
Download or read book The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Download or read book Does This Collar Make My Butt Look Big written by Dena Harris and published by . This book was released on 2013 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This diet-guide parody shows "extra furry" cats how to get svelte with kitty-specific versions of popular weight-loss and fitness regimes like the Zone, South Beach, Mayo Clinic, and French Women Don't Get Fat (But Their Cats Do). Americans own more than 86 million cats, and the wild popularity of cat videos--from YouTube to the Internet Cat Video Film Festival--proves that cat-lovers can't get enough kitty humor. This book pokes fun at tubby tabbies--the world's cutest (and surliest) fat creatures--with laugh-out-loud details that will tickle the funnybone of anyone "owned" by a cat. Lampooning trendy weight-loss regimes and health gurus, this book will also make people feel better about their own battle of the bulge in comparison to cats' insatiable appetites and lazy lifestyles. By eating right for their blood type, sourcing raw and living foods, joining Weight Stalkers, avoiding toxic treats, and exercising while lying down, felines of every shape (round) and size (round) will soon be motivated to ditch the fifth serving of Beef Morsels in Gravy for fresh, local options like that vole in the backyard.
Download or read book The Ultimate Book of Blonde Brunette and Redhead Jokes written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-04-01 with total page 377 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
Download or read book 110 Absurd Butt Jokes written by Julian Henson and published by . This book was released on 2021-07-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cheers for the rears, dears! Here is the first book of our all-new series, THE BIG BUTT JOKE SERIES! Featuring 110 jokes that will make you laugh your butt off, this book is absolutely perfect for people who love jokes... and people who love butts! Let's face it: this book is about everyone's favorite part of the body! It's only fair to warn you that this book is intended for adult readers, as it contains mature language. That said, assuming you are an adult, feel more than free to dive right in! You'll discover the answers to jokes such as: What does a butt say about a mildly annoying situation? What does a butt send to another butt in order to communicate something? What is a butt's favorite kind of soup? What did Genius Butt say to Dumb Butt? Plus many, many more! These jokes will surely surprise you!
Download or read book The Giant Book of Dirty Limericks written by Rudy A. Swale and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-07-20 with total page 220 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
Download or read book 110 Outrageous Butt Jokes written by Julian Henson and published by . This book was released on 2021-07-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cheers for the rears, dears! Here is the second book of our all-new series, THE BIG BUTT JOKE SERIES! Featuring 110 jokes that will make you laugh your butt off, this book is absolutely perfect for people who love jokes... and people who love butts! Let's face it: this book is about everyone's favorite part of the body! It's only fair to warn you that this book is intended for adult readers, as it contains mature language. That said, assuming you are an adult, feel more than free to dive right in! You'll discover the answers to jokes such as: What did Cautious Butt say to Reckless Butt? What does a butt do when it finally achieves its crappy dream? What kind of dinner do butts eat on Thanksgiving? What day do butts find a bit embarrassing? Plus many, many more! These jokes will surely surprise you!
Download or read book The Smart Ass Book of Puns written by Lefd Designs and published by . This book was released on 2020-08 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Bright Lights Big Ass written by Jen Lancaster and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2007-05-01 with total page 404 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jen Lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isn't all it's cracked up to be. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites aren't party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos. But lucky for us, Lancaster knows how to make the life of the lower crust mercilessly funny and infinitely entertaining. Whether she's reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security, harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, or fighting-and losing-the Battle of the Stairmaster- Lancaster explores how silly, strange, and not-so-fabulous real city living can be. And if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss her big, fat, pink, puffy down parka.
Download or read book Blonde Walks into a Bar written by Jonathan Swan and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-07-28 with total page 511 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
Download or read book 50 Ways to Wipe Your Butt written by Jorge Perez and published by . This book was released on 2020-11-03 with total page 53 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fun book with illustrations of the many ways to wipe your butt. Makes a great gift, will have you laughing for days. Have you ever wondered how many methods there are to wiping your butt, well here's 50 methods your sure to enjoy.
Download or read book 110 Unbelievable Butt Jokes written by Julian Henson and published by . This book was released on 2021-07-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cheers for the rears, dears! Here is the third book of our all-new series, THE BIG BUTT JOKE SERIES! Featuring 110 jokes that will make you laugh your butt off, this book is absolutely perfect for people who love jokes... and people who love butts! Let's face it: this book is about everyone's favorite part of the body! It's only fair to warn you that this book is intended for adult readers, as it contains mature language. That said, assuming you are an adult, feel more than free to dive right in! You'll discover the answers to jokes such as: What is a butt's favorite way to swim? How do butts know when someone is in danger? What do you call an aggressive butt? What do butts say when they're asked if they like to fart? Plus many, many more! These jokes will surely surprise you!
Download or read book Rubber Balls and Liquor written by Gilbert Gottfried and published by Macmillan + ORM. This book was released on 2011-04-26 with total page 285 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nobody ever reads this part of the book. Somebody at the publishing house explained to me that it's actually called the book flap. That sounded dirty, so I giggled for three hours. But it says in my contract that I have to write something over here in this tiny space, even though I don't think anyone will notice. Some people might open up to the middle of the book and start flipping through pages, but nobody will read this part. In fact, I'll bet anything that you're not reading this part now. And if it turns out that you are . . . well, the guy in the bookstore is probably staring at you, saying, "Stop reading that book!" I guess there's a reason bookstores are going out of business, left and right. Cheap fucks like you think it's okay to stand in the aisles and read to your heart's content. So for the sake of bookstores everywhere, buy this fucking book. I myself don't care. I only care about the poor working man. Oh, and the sanctity of the written word. I care about that, too. And in my case, those written words, of course, include fuck, dick, and pussy. In the early 1970s, as our nation's youth railed against every conceivable societal norm, a funny-looking teenage Jew started turning up at open mike nights in various New York City comedy clubs. Surprisingly, he didn't suck. That funny-looking teenage Jew is now the even funnier-looking middle-aged comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who despite his transparent shortcomings has managed to carve out a hardly-respectable career—and a reputation for shock and awe unrivaled outside the Bush administration. With this scathingly funny book of rants and musings, Gottfried sullies an entirely new medium with his dysfunctional worldview. HILARIOUS HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE: • Gut-wrenching stories from his bizarre childhood • A list of celebrities Gilbert would like to have sex with • A somewhat shorter list of celebrities who would like to have sex with Gilbert • An even shorter list of Gilbert's comely co-stars who have been forced to have sex with him on- screen • Side-splitting tales of the worst gigs he's ever performed • Incredibly awkward encounters with famous people from Gilbert's years as a celebrity (of sorts), including Harrison Ford, Keifer Sutherland, Hugh Hefner and one wildly offensive exchange with Marlee Matlin that left the actress speechless • Signature takes on timeless jokes, presented in a clip‘n save format so humorless readers can commit them to memory or tear them from the book's spine and carry them around in their wallets to amuse their friends • The story behind Gilbert's infamous retelling of the classic "Aristocrats" routine that defined the most recent phase of his career • And much more!
Download or read book Chicken Butt written by Erica S. Perl and published by Abrams. This book was released on 2015-10-05 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You know what? What? Chicken butt! The classic schoolyard joke has been recast as an irreverent picture book, with call-and-response parts for parent and child. The word repetition in Erica S. Perl’s text, and wonderfully comic illustrations by beloved artist Henry Cole, make this a particularly inviting book for new readers, as does the opportunity to “trick†? a parent or other adult into participating in a very silly joke. The humor builds to a surprising and satisfying conclusion. Warning: Kids will want to read this one over and over and over again! “An unhinged piece of slap-happy rhyming...rocket-propelled artwork...the romp is a powerful piece of cacophony, more frenetic by the moment.†?—Kirkus Reviews
Download or read book The Big Ass Book of Bling written by Mark Montano and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-11-13 with total page 369 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A fun, flashy, and sASSy book for beginner and expert crafters alike--with more than 150 new projects that will add pizzazz to everything from jewelry to tote bags! Now more than ever, most of us are scaling back on shopping sprees and holding on to things longer than usual. But we still need ways to liven up last season's dress or add some sparkle to our everyday shoes. But how? No need for fancy tools or expensive supplies--Mark Montano presents this beautifully illustrated book that's jam-packed with more than 150 easy-to-make projects. Featuring simple, step-by-step instructions for each project, The Big-Ass Book of Bling includes everything from ornate shoe clips to rhinestone-studded cuffs to flashy headbands--anything and everything that needs a little sprucing up. So "bling it on" and see how dazzling you can be!"--
Download or read book My Smelly Ass written by Lee Pong Wong and published by . This book was released on 2018-12-16 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A story about a smelly donkey with a gas problem, which will have you and your children laughing out loud! Suitable for both boys and girls aged 3 years old up to 8 years old
