Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Bobcats Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-09-20 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Bobcats' Jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Bobcats' Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Bobcats' Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Bobcats' joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Bobcats' jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Bobcats' Fans wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Bobcats' Fan and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Bobcats' Fan brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Bobcats' Fan who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Bobcats' Fans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book Silly Cat Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone written by Doreen Gonzales and published by Enslow Publishing, LLC. This book was released on 2014-07-01 with total page 50 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? A sour puss. This book features jokes, limericks, tongue twisters, knock-knock jokes, and fun facts about house cats and wild cats. Readers also learn how to make a limerick book of their own.

Download or read book Crazy Cat Jokes written by Momo Pug and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-10-17 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you hear about the crazy cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had MITTENS! How many cats does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They get a Purrrrrson to do it for them! The Crazy Cat Joke Book is a super funny collection of cat jokes accompanied by beautifully illustrated color artwork. This is the perfect novelty gift for any kitten lover! Want an unusual or weird gift for that special cat lover? This is the book for you! The only book FOR and ABOUT CATS! "Funniest book about Cats! EVER!" - Peter M. "Best Cat Gift!" - Jane D. Readers will have a blast with this cat book filled with clean feline jokes, one liners, kitty humor, and puns that you'll just have to share with friends and family. It's the perfect funny present for kitty lovers, cat enthusiasts, and anyone up for feline humor at its very best. Your search for the best cat book of jokes is over! This Crazy Cat Joke book is guaranteed to have you, and your kitty rolling on the floor begging for more! So TREAT yourself to this side-splitting experience or give this funny gift of cats to others! Here's why The CatJoke Book is the best kind of joke book: - Funny Jokes about cats - Excellent unusual gift for any kitten lover - Cute and colorful illustrations - Hours of fun and entertainment - Perfect for long trips, during half time or while waiting for the pizza delivery guy!

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Cat Lover Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-01-13 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Cat lover jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Cat lover Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Cat lover Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Cat lover joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Cat lover jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Cat lovers wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Cat lover and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Cat lover brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Cat lover who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Cat lovers laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

Download or read book The Awfully Good Cat Joke Book written by David Jacobs and published by Metro Publishing, Limited. This book was released on 1996 with total page 63 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Knicks Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-09-20 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Knicks' Jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Knicks' Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Knicks Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Knicks' Joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Knicks' Jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Knicks' Fans wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Knicks' Fan and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Knicks' Fan brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Knicks' Fan who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Knicks' Fans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Download or read book First written by Evan Thomas and published by Random House. This book was released on 2019-03-19 with total page 496 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The intimate, inspiring, and authoritative biography of Sandra Day O’Connor, America’s first female Supreme Court justice, drawing on exclusive interviews and first-time access to Justice O’Connor’s archives—as seen on PBS’s American Experience “She’s a hero for our time, and this is the biography for our time.”—Walter Isaacson Finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize • Named One of the Best Books of the Year by NPR and The Washington Post She was born in 1930 in El Paso and grew up on a cattle ranch in Arizona. At a time when women were expected to be homemakers, she set her sights on Stanford University. When she graduated near the top of her law school class in 1952, no firm would even interview her. But Sandra Day O’Connor’s story is that of a woman who repeatedly shattered glass ceilings—doing so with a blend of grace, wisdom, humor, understatement, and cowgirl toughness. She became the first ever female majority leader of a state senate. As a judge on the Arizona Court of Appeals, she stood up to corrupt lawyers and humanized the law. When she arrived at the United States Supreme Court, appointed by President Ronald Reagan in 1981, she began a quarter-century tenure on the Court, hearing cases that ultimately shaped American law. Diagnosed with cancer at fifty-eight, and caring for a husband with Alzheimer’s, O’Connor endured every difficulty with grit and poise. Women and men who want to be leaders and be first in their own lives—who want to learn when to walk away and when to stand their ground—will be inspired by O’Connor’s example. This is a remarkably vivid and personal portrait of a woman who loved her family, who believed in serving her country, and who, when she became the most powerful woman in America, built a bridge forward for all women. Praise for First “Cinematic . . . poignant . . . illuminating and eminently readable . . . First gives us a real sense of Sandra Day O’Connor the human being. . . . Thomas gives O’Connor the credit she deserves.”—The Washington Post “[A] fascinating and revelatory biography . . . a richly detailed picture of [O’Connor’s] personal and professional life . . . Evan Thomas’s book is not just a biography of a remarkable woman, but an elegy for a worldview that, in law as well as politics, has disappeared from the nation’s main stages.”—The New York Times Book Review

Download or read book Seriously I m Kidding written by Ellen DeGeneres and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2011-10-04 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ~b~>With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR Seriously... I'm Kidding "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." -- People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus/DIVspan

Download or read book Silver Screen Fiend written by Patton Oswalt and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-10-13 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Between 1995 and 1999, Patton Oswalt lived with an unshakable addiction. It wasn't drugs, alcohol or sex: it was film. After moving to L.A., Oswalt became a huge film buff (or as he calls it, a sprocket fiend), absorbing classics, cult hits, and new releases at the New Beverly Cinema. Silver screen celluloid became Patton's life schoolbook, informing his notion of acting, writing, comedy, and relationships. Set in the nascent days of L.A.'s alternative comedy scene, Oswalt's memoir chronicles his journey from fledgling stand-up comedian to self-assured sitcom actor, with the colorful New Beverly collective and a cast of now-notable young comedians supporting him all along the way"--

Download or read book Let s Pretend This Never Happened written by Jenny Lawson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-04-17 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Download or read book Stand Up Comedy written by Judy Carter and published by Dell. This book was released on 2010-03-03 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you think you’re funny, buy this book! Whether you dream of becoming a star . . . A better public speaker . . . A more effective communicator . . . A funnier, happier human being . . . You can learn to leave ‘em laughing! David Letterman learned to do it. Jay Leno learned to do it. Roseanne Barr learned to do it. So can you! Now successful stand-up comic Judy Carter—who went from teaching high school to performing in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Lake Tahoe, and on over 45 major TV shows—gives you the same hands-on, step-by-step instruction she’s taught to students in her comedy workshops. She shows you how to do it: create an act, perform it, make money with it, or apply it to everyday life. Discover: • The formulas for creating comedy material • How to find your own style • The three steps to putting your act together • Rehearsal do’s and don’ts • What to do if you bomb • Ways to punch up your everyday life with humor

Download or read book How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You written by The Oatmeal Staff and published by . This book was released on 2012-07-15 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Oatmeal 2013 Wall Calendar • The Oatmeal is one of the most popular Web comics online, getting an average of 4.6 million unique visitorsand more than 20 million page views a month. • Time magazine named TheOatmeal.com one of the best blogs of 2010. Based on Matthew Inman's hugely popular Web site and hisNew York Timesbest-selling book5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth,How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You 2013 Wall Calendarfeatures a quirky and humorous full-color comic each month along with a user-friendly grid. As a bonus, the calendar also includes a free, pull-out poster.

Download or read book Knock Knock Again written by Highlights and published by Highlights Press. This book was released on 2021-08-17 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Knock knock! Open up for 1,000 silly knock-knock jokes, curated by the kid experts at Highlights. This sequel to Knock, Knock! The BIGGEST, Best Joke Book EVER offers even more knock-knock jokes that will have kids laughing over and over again. This 352-page book makes a great gift for growing comedians ages 6 and up. A favorite of kids and grown-ups everywhere, knock-knocks are guaranteed to bring on the giggles. Like its companion, Highlights’ Laugh Attack joke book for kids, Knock Knock is packed with age-appropriate, funny jokes that kids can enjoy sharing with siblings, friends, grandparents and anyone who needs a laugh. With new jokes about animals, school, space, sports, and more, kids will amuse themselves for hours. Joke books encourage kids to read for fun and provide screen-free entertainment for road trips, rainy days and more—a great option for reluctant readers! Plus, sharing jokes with friends and family isn’t just fun; wordplay found in jokes boosts young readers’ language skills. Telling jokes also helps kids build confidence and social-emotional skills to help them succeed in school.

Download or read book Small Wonder written by Barbara Kingsolver and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 350 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In twenty-two wonderfully articulate essays, Barbara Kingsolver raises her voice in praise of nature, family, literature, and the joys of everyday life while examining the genesis of war, violence, and poverty in our world From the author of High Tide in Tucson, comes Small Wonder, a new collection of essays that begins with a parable gleaned from recent news: villagers search for a missing infant boy and find him, unharmed, in the cave of a dangerous bear that has mothered him like one of her own. Clearly, our understanding of evil needs to be revised. What we fear most can save us. From this tale, Barbara Kingsolver goes on to consider the chasm between the privileged and the poor, which she sees as the root cause of violence and war in our time. She writes about her attachment to the land, to nature and wilderness, trees and mountains-the place from which she tells her stories. Whether worrying about the dangers of genetically engineered food crops, or creating opportunities for children to feel useful and competent - like growing food for the family’s table - Kingsolver looks for small wonders, where they grow, and celebrates them.

Download or read book Nubs written by Brian Dennis and published by Hachette+ORM. This book was released on 2010-11-01 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 100,000 copies sold! A true story of a marine and the miraculously loyal dog he befriends in Iraq. Nubs, an Iraqi dog of war, never had a home or a person of his own. He was the leader of a pack of wild dogs living off the land and barely surviving. But Nubs's life changed when he met Marine Major Brian Dennis. The two formed a fast friendship, made stronger by Dennis's willingness to share his meals, offer a warm place to sleep, and give Nubs the kind of care and attention he had never received before. Nubs became part of Dennis's human "pack" until duty required the Marines to relocate a full 70 miles away--without him. Nubs had no way of knowing that Marines were not allowed to have pets. So began an incredible journey that would take Nubs through a freezing desert, filled with danger tofind his friend and would lead Dennis on a mission that would touch the hearts of people all over the world. Nubs and Dennis will remind readers that friendship has the power to cross deserts, continents, and even species.

Download or read book The Chosen Twelve written by James Breakwell and published by Rebellion Publishing Ltd. This book was released on 2022-01-18 with total page 350 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are 22 candidates. There are 12 seats. The last interstellar colony ship is down to its final batch of humans after the robots in charge unhelpfully deleted the rest. But rebooting a species and training them for the arduous task of colonisation isn’t easy – especially when the planet below is filled with monsters, the humans are more interested in asking questions than learning, and the robots are all programmed to kill each other. But the fate of humanity rests on creating a new civilization on the planet below, and there are twelve seats on the lander. Will manipulation or loyalty save the day?

Download or read book The Complete Book of American Muscle Supercars written by Tom Glatch and published by Motorbooks International. This book was released on 2016-10-17 with total page 230 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 2017 Gold Medal Winner of the International Automotive Media Competition! Uncover the captivating history of the highest-performace cars in America, illustrated with beautiful photography. The American muscle car began not in the factories of the big three automakers, but in the garages and dealerships of a hot-rod subculture bent on making the hottest, highest-performance cars on the street. The Complete Book of American Muscle Supercars catalogs these amazing cars, along with the builders who unleashed them on the American scene. From Michigan's Royal Pontiac dealership and the souped-up Royal Pontiac Bobcats they built and sold, to the new cars from such fabled names as Carroll Shelby, Mr. Norm's Grand Spaulding Dodge, Nickey Chevrolet, Don Yenko, George Hurst, Baldwin-Motion, Calloway, SLP, and Steve Saleen. This gorgeously illustrated book chronicles the outstanding contribution of the tuner/builder to American automotive history through the amazing machines they created. From the oldest of these muscle tuners commanding top dollar at today's classic-car auctions, to the latest vehicles by Ford and Chrysler, with their SVT and SRT divisions, this book gives readers a full and fascinating look at American high-performance in its purest form.