Download or read book The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done written by Ross Petras and published by Main Street Books. This book was released on 2011-11-09 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: *Too lazy to drive to his girlfriend's house, a man ties helium balloons to a lawn chair--and ends up at 15,000 feet, closing the L. A. airport. *A Chinese contraception program causes the birth rate to rise when men are discovered taking birth control pills and unrolling condoms over their fingers--exactly as shown in the training film. *A gang of Norwegian thieves carefully uses explosives to open a safe--only to find the safe is filled with dynamite. . . In the national bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said--over 200,000 copies in print--Ross and Kathryn Petras immortalized idiotic utterances by public figures and average citizens alike. But what about the doers out there, the people who didn't stop at speaking, but went right out and did something stupid instead? It's time to give credit where credit is due. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a hilarious collection of inane incidents, senseless stunts, farcical feats, and utterly asinine activities from throughout history, and around the globe. From Sam Goldwyn to Walter Mondale, Albert Einstein to Fabio, the board of General Motors to British Parliament, this comic compendium chronicles the stupidest acts, ideas, decisions, inventions, songs, and ad campaigns that the mind of modern man has been able to devise. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done is a non-stop barrage of belly laughs, conclusive proof that actions speak louder--and funnier--than words.
Download or read book 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done written by Ross Petras and published by . This book was released on 1996 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Unusually Stupid Celebrities written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-04-22 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals–and prove it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point: • Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to “possession of a controlled substance” because she can’t find a professional bodyguard at the last minute. • Mariah Carey’s entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter. • Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, “like, French.” • Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is “the two-equals-MC-squared thing,” and that an isosceles triangle is “somewhere in Bermuda.” Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel–no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.
Download or read book Unusually Stupid Politicians written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-03-12 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States government. Unusually Stupid Politicians exposes the mind-boggling but true political mishaps, missteps, and miscues that have even the savviest spin doctors shaking their heads and saying “No comment.” Sections include • Extreme Hairsplitting–such as when Florida governor Jeb Bush, after being accused of hiding in a closet from rampaging Democrats, denied the allegation completely, stating that “it was actually a boiler room” • Brilliant and Innovative Ideas from The Pentagon– like their groundbreaking "Gay Bomb," their "Bad Breath Inducing" halitosis weapon and their plans to enlist The Three Stooges in the fight against terror. • Creative Political Excuses——such as “I just discovered I’m Jewish and it’s a Holy Day,”——used by Senator George Allen, who, after learning of his Jewish heritage, got out of a Senate hearing to “observe” Yom Kippur • The Most Egregiously Large Political Egos–measured in standard Chuck Schumer Ego Units (CSEUs) This hilarious and eye-opening exposé gives awards for “How I Blew My Campaign” and “Worst Campaign Ad,” and shares a list of candidates “endorsed by God,” as well as a list of those who lost because of Satan. So turn off C-SPAN and quit text-messaging congressional pages–you’re about to learn what the definition of “is” is.
Download or read book Unusually Stupid Americans written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Everyone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including •the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception •the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin) •and much more!
Download or read book Here Speeching American written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2004-10-05 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE STRANGEST (AND FUNNIEST) TRAVEL GUIDE YOU’LL EVER READ The celebrated authors of the perennial bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said set the typical travel guide squarely on its head–taking you from the airport to the hotel, from sightseeing to dining out–by using 100 percent real examples of fractured English as spoken and posted abroad: • Feel like shopping? We have no good things to sell. –shop sign, Lovina Beach, Bali • Feeling sick? Are you haunted by the horribles? Do you run after your own nose? –Japanese medical form • Wondering what to wear? A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trousers. –in a French hotel brochure • Wondering where to eat? Grill and Roast your clients! Open for lunch, dinner and Sunday Brunch. –slogan of the Hibiscus restaurant in the Jakarta Hilton International But don’t take our word for it, come see for yourself. And if that’s too much to ask, remember the sage advice from the staff of a Taipei hotel: “If there is anything we can do to assist and help you, please do not contact us.”
Download or read book Stupid Movie Lines written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2011-07-06 with total page 231 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors." --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people." --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now." --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad." --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Download or read book Great Government Goofs written by Leland Gregory and published by Dell. This book was released on 1997 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The unofficial guide to the wacky mistakes our leaders don't want us to know about.
Download or read book Uncle John s Great Big Bathroom Reader written by Bathroom Readers' Institute and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-11-01 with total page 430 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of Uncle John’s all-time biggest sellers, Great Big is overflowing with everything our fans have come to expect: urban legends, forgotten history, myth-conceptions, business blunders, strange lawsuits, weird politics, amazing origins, dumb crooks, celebrity gossip, brain teasers, short facts, and more! Divided by length into short, medium, and long articles, Great Big is sure to be a hit with readers of all ages. A few standouts from these 460 pages: * The first computer programmers * Weird medical conditions * Brits Vs. Americans: a word quiz * Strange tourist attractions * The origin of the White House * The world’s second-dumbest outlaw * The Tonight Show story * The forgotten hero of flagpole sitting * Why popcorn pops And much, much more!
Download or read book How to Survive Among Piranhas written by Joachim de Posada and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2003-08 with total page 233 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Our rapidly changing world is full of Piranhas, those negative people who rob you of your self-confidence, your dignity, your dreams. Learn how to survive thrive among them by navigating the white-capped paths of successful freestyle career swimmers. Why was Larry Bird one of the most successful basketball players in history? Why did Jorge Posada become the catcher for the New York Yankees? It was far more than talent that charted their courses. You will learn the secret of their great accomplishments. What did Arun Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi's grandson learn from his grandfather that totally changed his life and will change yours? What happened in Saudi Arabia when Dick Cheney and the author were invited to speak? You will learn the most important lesson on interpersonal relationships. How did the author defy Fidel Castro in front of the cameras and what application does it have to your business? What did the author learn during his tenure at Xerox about exactly why people buy? You will learn valuable lessons about loyalty and human persuasion. What is your psychological profile, and how can you use your strengths to help you achieve your goals? You must read this book. It will give you tools to unleash your potential and get anything you want with what you have. . You'll learn more about business, humanity and yourself in these brief pages than you imagined possible, plus you'll learn the truth about Piranhas, real and metaphorical. Some of the lessons are painful, but Dr. Posada's gentle humor provides welcome tonic, and his insights will both astound and inspire you (even those that make you wince.)
Download or read book Wretched Writing written by Kathryn Petras and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-08-06 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wretched writing is the lowest of the low; it is a felonious assault on the English language. Exuberantly excessive, it is a sin committed often by amateurs and all-too-frequently by gifted writers having an off day. In short, it’s very bad writing. Truly bad. Appallingly bad. It’s also very funny. A celebration of the worst writing imaginable, Wretched Writing includes inadvertently filthy book titles, ridiculously overwrought passages from novels, bombastic and confusing speeches, moronic oxymorons, hyperactive hyperbole, horribly inappropriate imagery in ostensibly hot sex scenes, mangled clichés, muddled metaphors, and unintended double entendres. Sit back and enjoy these deliciously dreadful samples, and try not to cringe too much.
Download or read book Legacy of Joy written by Mike Nappa and published by Promise Press. This book was released on 1998 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this book, Mike Nappa and Norm Wakefield equip you to be a godly man and father. Their short, daily devotions are grounded in Scripture, illustrated by true stories, and summed up with affirming, workable suggestions for application.
Download or read book 101 of the Dumbest Things People Have Done written by Ray Comfort and published by Bridge Logos Foundation. This book was released on 2008 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 101 short stories of the dumbest things people have ever done.
Download or read book Stupid Sex written by Kathryn Petras and published by Main Street Books. This book was released on 1998 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of true stories about the most bizarre and embarrassing sexual encounters, in categories ranging from Enema Bandits to Pork Products
Download or read book Awkword Moments written by Ross Petras and published by Ten Speed Press. This book was released on 2020-03-10 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compendium of 100 words and phrases smart people use--even if they only kinda sorta (secretly don't) know what they mean--with pithy definitions and fascinating etymologies to solidify their meanings. Your boss makes a joke about Schrodinger's cat--which is something you've heard of but you're a little vague about what exactly happened (or didn't happen) with that cat. Or you're reading a New Yorker article that explains that "Solecism slipped into solipsism into full-blown narcissistic project." An excellent point . . . if you're sure what "solecism" means . . . or, for that matter, "solipsism." Language gurus Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras to the rescue! In the breezy and entertaining yet informative style of their New York Times bestseller You're Saying It Wrong, they give you a brief rundown on words smart people should know--from the worlds of science and the arts to philosophy, and from broader topics like quantum physics and ontology to more specific ones like Plato's cave and trompe l'oeil. They cover the Latin phrases we hear and read (prima facie, sui generis, and the like) as well as those that have entered our vocabularies from other languages (bildungsroman, sturm und drang). These are the words that, if you were asked directly, "What does this mean?" you might hem and haw and try to change the subject. After reading this book, you won't have to.
Download or read book Stupid Things I Won t Do When I Get Old written by Steven Petrow and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2021-06-29 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews
Download or read book The Cumulative Book Index written by and published by . This book was released on 1997 with total page 2312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A world list of books in the English language.
