Download or read book The Book of Cringe A Collection of Reasonably Clean But Silly Schoolboy Jokes written by Julian Walker and published by . This book was released on 2015-08-07 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Around 2,000 jokes, puns and poems of cringe-worthy silliness - and one piece of advice: If at first you don't succeed ... forget skydiving. Dad jokes at their very worst - dive in, cringe and, above all, be amused. But if you have wondered about these questions: What would happen if there were no hypothetical situations? Why didn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do fridges have a light but freezers don't? Do you get repossessed if you don't pay an exorcist? Then this book isn't for you as it doesn't have any answers."

Download or read book The World s Greatest Dad Jokes The Complete Collection The Heirloom Edition written by Editors of Cider Mill Press and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-05-25 with total page 286 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The complete collection of the World's Greatest Dad Jokes is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling. With hundreds of jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.

Download or read book That s Terrible a Cringeworthy Collection of 1001 Really Bad Jokes written by Gary Rowley and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-09-05 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A relentless barrage of zany, off-the-wall humour, 1001 jokes, puns and one-liners, plumbed exclusively from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination. You won't have encountered anything like this addictive little beauty before; not a swear word in sight, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandmas, whilst still supplying sufficient ammunition to torment your mates into submission. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and no wonder with jokes like these: Mobile phones have been around longer than people think. I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger. I was considering investing in a Chinese distillery but decided against it. Whiskey business. I went to the waxworks but legged it when I saw this woman coming towards me, swinging a pair of giant blades. I discovered later it was Madame Two Swords. Michael Phelps and the Thorpedo: they think they're God's gift to swimming. As an ex-paratrooper, I definitely thought my bill for dental work was a bridge too far. I had a real bad accident at the saw mill. My other half says we should sue for compensation. I've just lost my job at the snuff factory. I was sacked for pinching. I walked into Leeds station and asked the route to Bristol. I said, is it Leeds to Sheffield, then Derby, Birmingham, Cheltenham Spa and Gloucester? He said, it's somewhere along those lines. Someone said there was a decent turn on at the working men's club. When I got there, it was an Arctic sea bird with a big, yellow beak. I found my hotel bathroom stuffed with chickens. It was hen-suite. Boy racers. They're the torque of the town. Every time it's nice outside, there's this American pop duo that stand on a street corner, giving money away. It's Sunny and Share.

Download or read book The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes written by Gordon Hideaki Nagai and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-05-10 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

Download or read book The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes written by Ian Allen and published by Portico. This book was released on 2013-08-08 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!

Download or read book Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes written by Spiffy McChappy and published by . This book was released on 2019-05-23 with total page 105 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The perfect gift for any Dad who loves telling jokes and making everyone laugh! (cough cough) A fantastic novelty gift for Fathers day, Birthdays & Christmas. Clean family friendly jokes. The first page has space for you to write a special message, an ideal alternative to a card. Please note this book is not a joke book about Dads. It is a joke book full of Dad jokes. A Dad joke can best be described as an embarrassingly bad joke. Often demonstrated during special occasions & makes the family wince. This book will be a jolly old laugh for your old chap, but not so much for you. Please also note: No refunds will be given due to any embarrassment this book will cause you or if your eyes get sore from constant eye rolls.

Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

Download or read book The Revolt of The Public and the Crisis of Authority in the New Millennium written by Martin Gurri and published by Stripe Press. This book was released on 2018-12-04 with total page 465 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How insurgencies—enabled by digital devices and a vast information sphere—have mobilized millions of ordinary people around the world. In the words of economist and scholar Arnold Kling, Martin Gurri saw it coming. Technology has categorically reversed the information balance of power between the public and the elites who manage the great hierarchical institutions of the industrial age: government, political parties, the media. The Revolt of the Public tells the story of how insurgencies, enabled by digital devices and a vast information sphere, have mobilized millions of ordinary people around the world. Originally published in 2014, The Revolt of the Public is now available in an updated edition, which includes an extensive analysis of Donald Trump’s improbable rise to the presidency and the electoral triumphs of Brexit. The book concludes with a speculative look forward, pondering whether the current elite class can bring about a reformation of the democratic process and whether new organizing principles, adapted to a digital world, can arise out of the present political turbulence.

Download or read book The Ultimate Dad Joke Book written by Hugh Murmie and published by . This book was released on 2020-05-10 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

Download or read book Super Dad Jokes written by Jimmy Niro and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2019-09-01 with total page 111 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate laugh-out-loud Christmas gift for any pun lover or Super Dad out there! Q: What super power do you get when you become a parent? A: Supervision. Super Dad Jokes is perfect for all heroes out there—from the dad experts to the first-time fathers embracing their most cringe-worthy dad powers! This new edition from USA Today bestselling author Jimmy Niro has over 500 magnificent puns, stories, and anti-jokes—the best way to celebrate and laugh at dad's super (bad) joke skills! The perfect birthday gift, holiday stocking stuffer, or white elephant gag gift from any daughter, son, or partner to the super dad or grandpa who makes their eyes roll with super speed. Arm yourself against the forces of evil and good taste with this heroically funny joke book. It's time to save the world, one joke at a time! Includes knee-slappers like: I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it. Q: What is the sleepiest fruit? A: Napricot. "Dad, do you want a box for your leftovers?" "No, but I'll wrestle you for them!"

Download or read book 100 Funny Mexican Jokes written by R. Cristi and published by Psylon Press. This book was released on 2010 with total page 82 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some random Mexican jokes from the book: A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?" His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not." *** A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold." Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm." Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone" *** What's a Mexican favorite book store? Borders. Did you hear about that one Mexican that went to college? Yeah.. me neither. How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy pushing it. What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed. What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike? Chase after him, it's probably yours! Why are Mexicans so short? They all live in basement apartments. Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time? How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don't work in the future, either. What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house? Adopted. Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? Because their dads built it and their mom clean it. 2 Mexicans are in a car, who is driving? A cop. Buy the book to read 100s more Mexican jokes!

Download or read book Yo Mama Jokes Bible written by Johnny B. Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-08-03 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Yo Mama Jokes Bible! 350+ Funny & Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes Yo mama is so fat... Yo mama is so skinny... Yo mama is so old... Yo mama is so tall... Yo mama is so short... Yo mama is so stupid... Yo mama is so poor... Yo mama is so ugly... Yo mama is so bald... Yo mama is so hairy... Yo mama is so lazy... Other Yo mama jokes... ALL NEW YO MAMA JOKES! Yo mama is so stupid... she thought Christmas wrap was Snoop Dogg's new song! Yo mama is so fat... she posted a picture on Instagram and it crashed! Yo mama is so tall... Shaq looks up to her! Yo mama is so ugly... she looks like she has been bobbing for apples in hot grease! Yo mama is so skinny... when she wears skinny jeans, they look like bell-bottoms! Yo mama is so old... she has an autographed Bible! Yo mama is so short ... you can see her feet on her driver's license! Yo mama is so hairy... that Bigfoot tried to take her picture! Yo mama is so fat... she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad! Yo mama is so stupid... she went to a dentist to fix her Bluetooth! Yo mama is so old... her memory is in black and white! Yo mama is so poor... she put a Happy Meal on layaway! Yo mama is so ugly... she's the reason blind dates were invented! Yo mama is so short... she can use a sock for a sleeping bag! Yo mama is so bald... you can see what's on her mind! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of yo mama jokes! WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! tags: yo mama jokes, yo mama, your mama jokes, your momma jokes, yo momma jokes, yo momma joke book, funny jokes, jokes, joke book,joke gifts, jokes and pranks, jokes and gags, jokes book, jokes for kids, funny jokes for kids, funny jokes, funny jokes for adults, jokes and riddles, funniest jokes, best jokes, good jokes, best jokes ever

Download or read book 1001 Dad Jokes Complete Edition written by M. C. Jepsen and published by . This book was released on 2020-05-07 with total page 103 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why are mountain ranges funny? Because they're hill areas. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Garbage collectors don't need formal education to get hired. They pick it up as they go along. That awkward silence that left you longing for an awkward joke - make the moment less awkward. That one coworker that rattles off knee slappers with a breeze - now you can be her! It's your turn to give the jokers in your life (friends, dads, moms, uncles, aunts, siblings, spouses, neighbors) their own embarrassingly cringey eye roll. Maybe you need a chuckle. Or your friend does. Your friend definitely does. Yep, and your dad. Father's Day is coming up. Get them a copy! From groans to trombones we've collected, created, and curated the best dad jokes. 1001 of them to be exact (technically a lot more). And... edited for content! (One of our editors had a perfect score on the GMAT writing portion and creates content professionally got your eyes rolling already). We wanted a great dad joke book and read critical reviews and thought - why not make our own! We took notes, removed duplicates, and leaned on grammar sticklers. We also tried to tone down the religion/politics/drugs/sex stuff - but kept some edge (watch for uncle jokes book). Still not ready to buy? You don't want to commit. That's cool. Click on the author link by the title and check out our Express Edition for just a dollar/euro/pound. Or, check out all of the jokes in each of four sections for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription! Wait, who are you again? So, yeah. Years ago, the genesis of the jokes... We didn't know, but a cascade of events would take us from devilishly charming unbridled singles to diaper changing, tantrum calming, homework assisting, bug killing dads (and moms). Somehow we got from cruising the late night bar/club/festival scene to towing babies/toddlers/kids to happy hours with our supportive partners before rushing home to crash (hopefully after the kids). Along the way, corny (successful!) pickup lines morphed into dad jokes as we picked up a few responsibilities, lost a little hair, and added a few pounds/kilos. Really, though, our jokes are for everyone. You don't have to be a dad (or mom) or even like kids (sometimes we don't!) to enjoy, obvs. We hope a bit of humour will brighten your days...

Download or read book Why I Stay Single written by Linda Parker and published by . This book was released on 2009-02 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Volume III of III. Over 500 hilarious one liner jokes in four humorous chapters encompassing all areas of comedy in the punch lines - clean, dirty, adult, child, sex, christian, fat, stupid, redneck, practical - it's in here. These really funny visual one line quips for dating, shopaholic, insane and the disgusting will be plagiarized by stand up comics for years to come! Why I Stay Single! Excerpts from Chapter One: A Second Date's No So Likely If...He picks his nose during the second course and eats it during the third, A Second Date's No So Likely If...He makes karate noises while eating sushi, A Second Date's No So Likely If...You uncontrollably laugh at her dinner attire when she opens the door, A Second Date's No So Likely If...She wore condom earrings to a religious festival, A Second Date's No So Likely If...He called it dancing, but you thought it was an epileptic seizure. Linda Parker, a determined to stay single mother of three and grandmother, shares her brilliant visual quick jokes about encounters drawn from family, children, ex-husbands (plural), coworkers and some incredibly undesirable attempts to date in her 40's. They are the type of laughs that no one would admit to doing if caught in the act. In light of the above, the author claims there won't be a Husband Number 4! Well, I admit, this is a first for me. I've read and written lots of funny stuff. And I have 'funny' in my blood, my dad was Bozo the Clown. (True Story.) But I've never edited a joke book before. And it is hilarious. Got any more? I could do this all day! Jennifer.

Download or read book Truth in Comedy written by Charna Halpern and published by Meriwether Publishing. This book was released on 1994 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The 'Harold', an innovative improvisational tool, helped many actors on the road to TV and film stardom, including George Wendt (Norm on Cheers). Now it is described fully in this new book for would-be actors and comics. The 'Harold' is a form of competitive improv involving 6 or 7 players. They take a theme suggestion from the audience and 'free associate' on the theme into a series of rapid-fire one-liners that build into totally unpredictable skits with hilarious results. The 'Harold' is a fun way to 'loosen up' and learn to think quickly, build continuity, develop characterisations and sharpen humour.

Download or read book The World s Best Dirty Jokes written by Mr. J and published by Trafalgar Square Publishing. This book was released on 1996-05 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whether it’s the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer’s daughter, Mr J has gathered together the very best – the very funniest – from a large crop of dirty jokes.

Download or read book Trust written by Jana Aston and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-10-30 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Knock knock!" "Um... Who's there?" Yeah. That was me, on my last date. Before you feel sorry for me you should know that I was the one telling the jokes. Jokes as in plural, because I didn't stop with just one. Of course not. Hi, I'm Chloe Scott. The most awkward single girl in the city. But I'm going to get it together. I am. I'm going to learn how to date like a grown up. I'm going to have an orgasm not given to myself. I'm going to fall in love and live happily ever after. Right after I get out of this interrogation room.