Download or read book Tales of Christmas Comedy written by Seth Kinstle and published by Seth Kinstle. This book was released on 2020-12-20 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A few short stories that include parodies of classic Christmas characters. Maybe they can find their way among the ranks of stories that fuel the Christmas spirit. Other than that they're just some crap a crazy guy wrote. Have fun and make sure to reimagine Christmas every year to keep it fresh. Unless you're old and you don't care. Chances are no one will ever care about these stories anyways. That's not being negative that's just reality. Alternatively my optimism has a point that at least I laughed at these stories. I had a good time destroying Christmas by elevating these stories to be fit for a mature audience. Who knows maybe you'll end up telling them at the bar or on Christmas morning to have a laugh. Either way I feel like they're just a funny dumpster fire.

Download or read book A Christmas Story written by Jean Shepherd and published by Crown. This book was released on 2010-10-27 with total page 109 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A beloved, bestselling classic of humorous and nostalgic Americana—the book that inspired the equally classic Yuletide film and the live musical on Fox. The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”? The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.

Download or read book How to Trick a Christmas Elf written by Sue Fliess and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-09-17 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: To find out whether Santa thinks you’re naughty or nice, you’ll need to trick an elf into letting you see the list! Legend has it that the only way to find out if you’re on Santa’s naughty or nice list is to trick an elf into letting you sneak a peek! But be careful: elves are tricky themselves! To get a look at the list, you’ll need to be clever in crafting a distracting craft to catch the elf’s attention. So, grab some Christmas supplies like ribbons, twinkle lights, bows, and candy canes, and get prepared for your sly holiday visitor! On the nights leading up to Christmas, one of Santa’s elves will show up to keep watch on kids and to report on their naughty or nice behavior! However, if you’re careful and clever and quick, you can set up a beautiful little sleigh that will distract your elf, and then you’ll be sure to get a glimpse at Santa’s list! Sue Fliess’s poetic read-aloud text and Simona Sanfilippo’s vibrant, whimsical illustrations will provide much fun for young readers eager to trick their own Christmas elf and find which list they’re on! Also included are guides for teachers and parents about how to engage children in building an elf sleigh themselves and how to interest them in the history of the holiday and the many cultures that celebrate Santa’s tiny helpers.

Download or read book Click Clack Ho Ho Ho written by Doreen Cronin and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-09-22 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Santa comes to the barnyard in this holiday addition to the award-winning Click, Clack series from the New York Times bestselling Doreen Cronin

Download or read book Fritz the Farting Reindeer Saves Christmas written by Humor Heals Us and published by . This book was released on 2020-11-27 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fritz doesn't know it, but he's a big part of saving Christmas this year. Rudolph's red nose has stopped shining. Now, Santa has no light to guide him. How will he find his way to the children's homes? A children's beloved classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too. Perfect for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or anytime of the year! Vote on new title names and receive freebies at humorhealsus.com

Download or read book The Stupidest Angel v2 0 written by Christopher Moore and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 303 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now in a special holiday edition, the hilariously deranged tale of Santa, fruitcakes, angels, and Kung fu. . . . “Christopher Moore writes novels that are not only hilarious, but fun to read as well. He is an author at the top of his craft.—Nicholas Sparks ’Twas the night before Christmas . . . and all through Pine Cove, Florida, the creatures were stirring in this wonderfully funny tale that gives the spirit of Christmas a whole new meaning.

Download or read book Only You Can Save Christmas written by Adam Wallace and published by Sourcebooks Jabberwocky. This book was released on 2017 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wink the Elf asks the reader's help to get Santa's present ready for Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve.

Download or read book Mr Willowby s Christmas Tree written by Robert Barry and published by Doubleday Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2012-11-28 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Give the gift of holiday spirit with this classic picture book that celebrates how one Christmas tree brings joy to a whole forest of critters! Christmas is here and Mr. Willowby's tree has arrived. There's just one big problem: The tree is too tall for his parlor! He cuts off the top so it will fit, and soon the top of that tree is passed along again and again to bring holiday cheer to all the animals in the forest. Kids will love watching the tree move from home to home, and families will appreciate the subtle message of conservation and recycling, as the tree top spreads joy to all. This heartwarming story is the perfect way to start the yuletide season, and a warm addition to any family's festive holiday traditions.

Download or read book Nothing Lasts Forever Basis for the film Die Hard written by Roderick Thorp and published by Graymalkin Media. This book was released on 2012-12-17 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: High atop a Los Angeles skyscraper, an office Christmas party turns into a deadly cage-match between a lone New York City cop and a gang of international terrorists. Every action fan knows it could only be the explosive big-screen blockbuster Die Hard. But before Bruce Willis blew away audiences as unstoppable hero John McClane, author Roderick Thorp knocked out thriller readers with the bestseller that started it all. A dozen heavily armed terrorists have taken hostages, issued demands, and promised bloodshed — all according to plan. But they haven’t counted on a death-defying, one-man cavalry with no shoes, no backup, and no intention of going down easily. As hot-headed cops swarm outside, and cold-blooded killers wield machine guns and rocket launchers inside, the stage is set for the ultimate showdown between anti-hero and uber-villains. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight... to the death. Ho ho ho!

Download or read book Don t Shake the Present written by Bill Cotter and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2019-10-01 with total page 24 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Go on a festive and fun-filled adventure with Larry in the hilarious Christmas novelty edition of the USA Today bestselling series, Don't Push the Button! 'Tis the season for gift-giving and kids will adore this new addition to the creative and interactive series that has touched the lives of over half-a-million readers. Don't Shake the Present! is the perfect stocking stuffer, holiday gift for kids, and present for 1 year old girls and boys celebrating their first Christmas ever! Kids and parents alike will return to this wacky holiday book time and again. Larry the lovable monster has received a present, and he's desperate to know what's inside. He needs your help to figure it out. But whatever you do... DON'T SHAKE THE PRESENT! Hi, I'm Larry. This is my present. I REALLY want to open it, but I'm not allowed.

Download or read book Christmas Here I Come written by D.J. Steinberg and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-10-12 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrate Christmas with a collection of funny and festive poems from the author of the hugely popular Kindergarten, Here I Come! It's the most wonderful time of the year, and everyone is getting into the Christmas spirit! From writing letters to Santa to picking the perfect tree, these heartwarming poems -- plus a page of stickers! -- from author D. J. Steinberg are sure to delight even the most sullen Scrooge.

Download or read book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever written by Barbara Robinson and published by Samuel French, Inc.. This book was released on 1983 with total page 60 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The six mean Herdman kids lie, steal, smoke cigars (even the girls) and then become involved in the community Christmas pageant.

Download or read book In God We Trust written by Jean Shepherd and published by Crown. This book was released on 2010-10-27 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of humorous and nostalgic Americana stories—the beloved, bestselling classics that inspired the movie A Christmas Story Before Garrison Keillor and Spalding Gray there was Jean Shepherd: a master monologist and writer who spun the materials of his all-American childhood into immensely resonant—and utterly hilarious—works of comic art. In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash represents one of the peaks of his achievement, a compound of irony, affection, and perfect detail that speaks across generations. In God We Trust, Shepherd's wildly witty reunion with his Indiana hometown, disproves the adage “You can never go back.” Bending the ear of Flick, his childhood-buddy-turned-bartender, Shepherd recalls passionately his genuine Red Ryder BB gun, confesses adolescent failure in the arms of Junie Jo Prewitt, and relives a story of man against fish that not even Hemingway could rival. From pop art to the World's Fair, Shepherd's subjects speak with a universal irony and are deeply and unabashedly grounded in American Midwestern life, together rendering a wonderfully nostalgic impression of a more innocent era when life was good, fun was clean, and station wagons roamed the earth. A comic genius who bridged the gap between James Thurber and David Sedaris, Shepherd may have accomplished for Holden, Indiana, what Mark Twain did for Hannibal, Missouri.

Download or read book Hookers Blow Save Christmas written by Munty C Pepin and published by . This book was released on 2020-08-31 with total page 22 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tom Transport is stuck in the snow with a load of presents and Hookers and Blow must rescue him in time for the town Christmas party.

Download or read book Have You Been Naughty or Nice written by Ethan Long and published by LB Kids. This book was released on 2009-10-07 with total page 24 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ethan Long, author/illustrator of Tickle the Duck, Stop Kissing Me, and Duck's Not Afraid of the Dark, returns with yet another laugh riot novelty book for young children. In Have You Been Naughty or Nice? the duck excitedly awaits a visit from Santa Claus until he eats all of Santa's snacks and realizes he just put himself on the naughty list. But never fear, because the duck has a clever plan to get himself back on the nice list. This fourth book in Ethan Long's duck series features a cloth Santa cap on the cover and a fold-out letter to Santa, and is filled to the brim with holiday hilarity that will keep kids entertained for hours.

Download or read book A Christmas Memory written by Truman Capote and published by Knopf Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2014-10-28 with total page 49 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A reminiscence of a Christmas shared by a seven-year-old boy and a sixtyish childlike woman, with enormous love and friendship between them.

Download or read book Hazel and Cha Cha Save Christmas Tales from the Umbrella Academy one shot written by Gerard Way and published by Dark Horse Comics (Single Issues). This book was released on 2019-11-20 with total page 35 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hazel and Cha Cha—the bizarre assassins who first appear in Umbrella Academy: Dallas and blew audiences away in the Netflix series—track down a rogue time agent and cross paths with a plot to discredit Christmas! The first Umbrella Academy spinoff!